What's the best thing about Post Christmas? Post Christmas SALES!!! Haha yes... so I, the one who has a thing going for sales descended upon Orchard Road, armed with $200 worth of Tangs vouchers and my faithful POSB debit card. I was expecting Zara to have a sale but unfortunately, it wasn't...neither was ProjectShop. But....and it's a BIG BUT, Topman was having a SALE!!! Scream! Go Crazy! bleahx. Anyway, I basically settled what I'd be wearing for CNY, less the pants. I'm intending to get my second pair of Levi's jeans after I come back...consumerism rocks!
I looked forward to Christmas this year with great anticipation because it was the only thing that motivated me to carry on during the full troop exercise that started on Sundary and ended on Wednesday. Can you imagine getting stuck out in the jungle feeding mosquitoes and sandflies, wearing clothes that have been soaked with sweat with a foul and vile smell emanating from it in the week just before Christmas? It's awwwwwwwwwfuuuuuuuullllllll. Thank goodness I didn't have to walk the swamp and get lost in the jungle cos I had to drive the BV. But wait! Before everyone thinks that the driver gets to get away from all the jungle bashing and swamp walking, let me tell you how mentally exhausting it is to drive in the wee hours of the morning, fixing your eyes on two small little red dots in front of you in order to follow the next vehicle in the convoy. It's so dangerous because you could just knock off at the wheel!
Anyway, this year was a season of giving...for me at least. I immersed myself in gift giving which meant that most of my pay went back into circulation in the economy. Last minute Christmas shopping was a bit of a hassle but nonetheless enjoyable on Friday with Gilbert and Renhe, my medical centre mates. Went for night bowling with my family and Auntie Lynn and Uncle Robert that night and since there were 9 people in one lane, we took 2 hrs just to finish a game. In fact, we never did manage to complete it cos it hit 12 before I could even bowl my last frame, not to mention my score was dismal.
Christmas is all about love, relationships etc. so I spent Christmas eve with all my friends. First up was meeting up with my BMT mates whom I've missed so much, some of them newly commissioned officers. Chun Guang has been posted to my camp and will be the new signal officer which means all my signal bunk mates should curry favour me so I can help them a little. Bleahx. I had to rush down to church to give the credits for the drama but in the end, we didn't manage to play it since the projector screwed up and stuff. Argh. The drama team was great, they put on a great show especially Kris Teo who was so natural as a ai mian zi mother, Josia as the disgruntled Father who was constantly being bullied and finally Ian Chew, who brought his character, a beauty salon owner, albeit a gay one to life.
I whisked myself once again to Orchard to meet up with my JC friends, Zhong Wei, Ben, Cheeks and KP and where we caught Narnia. I have quite a good mind to make a local version and call it A-hia. Anyway, the evil witch was really evil - I loved the way she played the character. Predictable plot, which ran parallel to the story of Jesus, but nonetheless and enjoyable show with Lord of the Ringgish CGI effects and a beautifully animated lion. We waited for the countdown at Orchard before trying to squeeze our way to the MRT station. It was a tad bit terrifying trying to dodge people spraying fake snow and stuff and squeezing through the mammoth crowd that thronged the sidewalks yet fun at the same time as we pushed our way through and tried to simulate taking cover from artiller bombardment. Army and the things it does to you. Thankfully, I managed to catch the last train back.
Christmas itself was spent doing the IT stuff for the drama. We performed for 3 services, including the Filipino service. Our prayers were answered and we had wonderful feedback but more importantly were the salvations and the fact that people responded to the message. Our cast added in a few impromptu lines, and the most memorable line?
"You want any package also can. Christmas package or my package also no problem."
Ian Chew
Those who could read between the lines had to manually close our jaws when we heard that. Amy, Michelle and I went hysterical when we heard this on stage...and of all places, in church! Ah Well... Family christmas party at night to end of this year's Christmas. I got a total of like 9 T-shirts, including one with a bull that reads "horny" and another with an alarm clock that points to the snooze button which says "Keep the dream alive". Now I shall concentrate on buying higher end shirts since I've completed my t-shirt collection for the year. Should have more than enough to last me till I ORD. Winkz.
Till then...
Monday, December 26, 2005
Saturday, December 3, 2005
3 December 2005
I spent the morning slacking at home instead of going for my usual swim because I woke up late and was too lazy to do so. Besides, SOC almost killed me on Thursday.
Was finally able to meet up with Chun Wee, after a very very long wait since I'd been SO busy for the past month. Our dear Zihao tagged along, which in Chun Wee's words 'spoilt our romantic evening' which is very very gay. Chun Wee's been acting weird lately... He keeps saying I was cuter in Sec 3, cuter with that centre parting hairstyle that used to characterise my crowning glory and cuter because i was 'softer' back then...eeeeekkkkk.....freak out.
Borders was having a very tempting offer today, 25% discount for 3 books, 30% for 4, 35% for 5 or more. In fact, it was having a big SALE, which I totally have a soft spot for and on another note, practically everywhere is having a sale. Argh!!! Orgas sia! My bank account is going to suffer, all these months of scrimping and saving is going to go down the drain. Oh heck, retail therapy is good for the soul yeah. Card swiping is good for the mind and body. ;) Met my Sec 3 Geog Teacher, Ms Fiona Chong (I thought Fiona Xie at first when Zihao first mentioned it) and she's as elegant as ever, to the extent that her daughter who was tagging along seemed like an accessory of sorts, a necklace or something.
Went to Lido to have dinner after that and as usual, we sat there and had a nice chat, reminiscing on our days in RI, 4E, the wit, the interesting characters, the teachers bla bla bla. RI rocks I tell you - that was the best period of my life. I dragged those two fellows shopping after that, but I didn't want to bore them too much so i just window shopped. Hopefully, all the good stuff will still be there next week or the week after, or even after Christmas. No time to shop...no time to shop....no money to shop...no money to shop....AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
Was finally able to meet up with Chun Wee, after a very very long wait since I'd been SO busy for the past month. Our dear Zihao tagged along, which in Chun Wee's words 'spoilt our romantic evening' which is very very gay. Chun Wee's been acting weird lately... He keeps saying I was cuter in Sec 3, cuter with that centre parting hairstyle that used to characterise my crowning glory and cuter because i was 'softer' back then...eeeeekkkkk.....freak out.
Borders was having a very tempting offer today, 25% discount for 3 books, 30% for 4, 35% for 5 or more. In fact, it was having a big SALE, which I totally have a soft spot for and on another note, practically everywhere is having a sale. Argh!!! Orgas sia! My bank account is going to suffer, all these months of scrimping and saving is going to go down the drain. Oh heck, retail therapy is good for the soul yeah. Card swiping is good for the mind and body. ;) Met my Sec 3 Geog Teacher, Ms Fiona Chong (I thought Fiona Xie at first when Zihao first mentioned it) and she's as elegant as ever, to the extent that her daughter who was tagging along seemed like an accessory of sorts, a necklace or something.
Went to Lido to have dinner after that and as usual, we sat there and had a nice chat, reminiscing on our days in RI, 4E, the wit, the interesting characters, the teachers bla bla bla. RI rocks I tell you - that was the best period of my life. I dragged those two fellows shopping after that, but I didn't want to bore them too much so i just window shopped. Hopefully, all the good stuff will still be there next week or the week after, or even after Christmas. No time to shop...no time to shop....no money to shop...no money to shop....AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
Friday, December 2, 2005
When the iceberg of Reality sinks the Boat of dreams
I'm feeling depressed, dissapointed and disillusioned. That spells dooms day in the month which aptly begins with D. The past month of work and outfield has finally taken its toll on me, physically and mentally, bestowing upon me gastroenteritis which entails general fatigue, nausea, loss of appetite and diarrhoea. My intestines and stomach are giving out weird noises, as if they are groaning and begging me to slow down.
You might wonder why I used such a cliched title in this entry, but truth of the matter is, it's that thing that's making me feel depressed. It's tough when you are forced to work in an organisation in which you have no say in, but I'm over that phase. Heck, I'm in it so I try my best to work. I set goals, I have aims, I work hard and have expectations but there is always a downside to having expectations. The more lofty, ambitious they are, the more it hurts when reality hits you and everything fall shorts of whatever you're aiming for.
Admittedly, I've worked hard in the past few months since the day I stepped into 40 SAR's Keat Hong Medical Centre. Working hard in the initial months was out of survival, to stay in HQ. After that phase was over and things begin to stabilise, i began to set myself goals: I wanted to go for SPEC II course and rise to the rank of 3rd Sgt. For the record, it was always my goal to go for SPEC II course since the start of SMM - partly for the experience, especially the hospital attachment and partly for the monetary rewards it entails in terms of my pay packet.
Seeing a good buddy of mine, and in fact my SMM CMC buddy go for it was tormenting. He entered 40 SAR earlier, he was better during the course, he overshadowed me in terms of PR bla bla bla. So I couldn't really say much when he was given the opportunity to go, in fact, he's slated to take over as 2IC. I really hoped that I had could have gone the last time yet I missed the boat. I hid my feelings, jealousy, disappointment whatever that I was feeling, wishing him all the best, putting on a false front while nursing whatever ill feelings I had. Yeah, a friend would wish for the best for his friend, but isn't it human to be jealous?
History sometimes plays a joke on its characters, repeating itself once again like a never-ending nightmare. My other close colleague has been slated to go on the next course, leaving me as the last one in the clique of 4. When he smsed me about it, my heart sank and yet I harboured the small hope that 'hey, there's still a chance. didn't MO ask you if you wanted to go?' Whatever it is, the confirmation email never came - it went only to him and him alone. The hope hinged on the fact that my email was down and I hadn't been receiving any for the past few days since the migration to the new server. Was I smoking myself, deluding myself into harbouring any hope that would fulfill my desires? Yes, and when reality sets in, the disappointment, the jealousy, whatever negative feelings drown out the positive ones. I keep asking why why why, since I don't see the need for him in going for the course. On the other hand, why should I deserve ti go? Bleahx.
Should I bother to continue working SO hard? It just seems that my work has gone to waste. Does meritocracy really exist? More of connections perhaps, and maintaining good relationships with others. Right. But hey, this is the SAF, a government organisation which sets double standards. 2 Years of my life worth $33,000. Yes, put a monetary value to it. $33,000 freaking dollars - I could jolly well pay that sum. Too bad I don't have any special talents that warrant me an excuse from serving my National Service. Long live the government.
Expectations can have such devastating effects, it demolishes a person and forces him to his knees when everything goes in the opposite direction. I haven't learnt my lesson yet and its painful. Expectations: expectations of people remembering your birthday, maybe celebrating it for you and in the end, it's spent alone; expecting that the future is good and life will be smooth sailing...Expectations - its clutches playing out the drama set in our medical centre. Politics, rumours, stories flying everywhere. I'm too tired to narrate anymore, too exasperated to comment and to frustrated to bother about it anymore. Welcome to the working world Winston, the playground of politics, delusions, backstabbing, expectations... You have made tiny steps into the adult world.
You might wonder why I used such a cliched title in this entry, but truth of the matter is, it's that thing that's making me feel depressed. It's tough when you are forced to work in an organisation in which you have no say in, but I'm over that phase. Heck, I'm in it so I try my best to work. I set goals, I have aims, I work hard and have expectations but there is always a downside to having expectations. The more lofty, ambitious they are, the more it hurts when reality hits you and everything fall shorts of whatever you're aiming for.
Admittedly, I've worked hard in the past few months since the day I stepped into 40 SAR's Keat Hong Medical Centre. Working hard in the initial months was out of survival, to stay in HQ. After that phase was over and things begin to stabilise, i began to set myself goals: I wanted to go for SPEC II course and rise to the rank of 3rd Sgt. For the record, it was always my goal to go for SPEC II course since the start of SMM - partly for the experience, especially the hospital attachment and partly for the monetary rewards it entails in terms of my pay packet.
Seeing a good buddy of mine, and in fact my SMM CMC buddy go for it was tormenting. He entered 40 SAR earlier, he was better during the course, he overshadowed me in terms of PR bla bla bla. So I couldn't really say much when he was given the opportunity to go, in fact, he's slated to take over as 2IC. I really hoped that I had could have gone the last time yet I missed the boat. I hid my feelings, jealousy, disappointment whatever that I was feeling, wishing him all the best, putting on a false front while nursing whatever ill feelings I had. Yeah, a friend would wish for the best for his friend, but isn't it human to be jealous?
History sometimes plays a joke on its characters, repeating itself once again like a never-ending nightmare. My other close colleague has been slated to go on the next course, leaving me as the last one in the clique of 4. When he smsed me about it, my heart sank and yet I harboured the small hope that 'hey, there's still a chance. didn't MO ask you if you wanted to go?' Whatever it is, the confirmation email never came - it went only to him and him alone. The hope hinged on the fact that my email was down and I hadn't been receiving any for the past few days since the migration to the new server. Was I smoking myself, deluding myself into harbouring any hope that would fulfill my desires? Yes, and when reality sets in, the disappointment, the jealousy, whatever negative feelings drown out the positive ones. I keep asking why why why, since I don't see the need for him in going for the course. On the other hand, why should I deserve ti go? Bleahx.
Should I bother to continue working SO hard? It just seems that my work has gone to waste. Does meritocracy really exist? More of connections perhaps, and maintaining good relationships with others. Right. But hey, this is the SAF, a government organisation which sets double standards. 2 Years of my life worth $33,000. Yes, put a monetary value to it. $33,000 freaking dollars - I could jolly well pay that sum. Too bad I don't have any special talents that warrant me an excuse from serving my National Service. Long live the government.
Expectations can have such devastating effects, it demolishes a person and forces him to his knees when everything goes in the opposite direction. I haven't learnt my lesson yet and its painful. Expectations: expectations of people remembering your birthday, maybe celebrating it for you and in the end, it's spent alone; expecting that the future is good and life will be smooth sailing...Expectations - its clutches playing out the drama set in our medical centre. Politics, rumours, stories flying everywhere. I'm too tired to narrate anymore, too exasperated to comment and to frustrated to bother about it anymore. Welcome to the working world Winston, the playground of politics, delusions, backstabbing, expectations... You have made tiny steps into the adult world.
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