First Book in...

It’s 4 hours before I make my way back to Pulau Tekong, which has the initials PT (which I just discovered), a stark reminder of what awaits me when I return to that sunny island, where the sun’s rays penetrates your skin and cooks you to charcoal perfection. I have to admit, the sea view there is just breathtaking with a silhouette of the Changi airport control tower that serves as a constant reminder that I am only a stone’s throw away from civilisation. It works both ways (consider the saying, So near, yet SO far). That place, is NOT civilised as I re-enforce the notion that vulgarities are part of the language which most sergeants and officers adopt in their limited vocabulary. I don’t understand how the SAF, which prides itself in producing a well-rounded and efficient armed forces, produces such uncouth and to some extent, really disgusting individuals, who actually belong to higher authority.



My first book-out, as Chun Wee describes as “the sweetest” was not really as exciting as I planned it to be. Perhaps, it’s better to just spend time chilling out at home and going out for a nice meal. In fact, I’ve spent most of it at home, not even going for a movie nor to Orchard Road which partly stems from the reason that taking public transport is so much more expensive right now and I’m no longer eligible for partaking in McDonald’s price discriminatory students value meals, which indicates that each meal now is double the price of what I used to pay. Not forgetting the miserable “allowance” I get and a complete cut in personal (read: pocket money) funding, every single dollar that I spend is a dollar off my future wealth– I need to save up for university. Thinking a little too far? I don’t really think so, just that I would like to bring up my savings level in my bank account to the days after I receive my scholarship money. To the economists out there, please do not bombard me with theories such as the paradox of thrift – I won’t buy that. I don’t mind contributing to the low multiplier effect which Singapore continues to experience and I KNOW that I am contributing to the supply of loanable funds.



As an individual moving into adulthood, managing personal finances is a skill in life which needs to be cultivated and I’ve convinced myself that I shouldn’t spend unnecessarily, since I won’t get the chance to wear nice clothes when I spend most of my time in a patchy green sackcloth or a dull grey t-shirt with the seal of approval behind it. Those four bold letters highlight our status and make us look even worse than the maids that are publicly displayed in agencies with full length glass windows. Besides, I’ll need all the money I can get when I finally ORD, to finance my lavish spending on new clothes as I finally emerge as a swinging single and an individual who will finally contribute to society, before I get myself entangled in the sticky web of love which will eventually divert all my finances. It was rather appalling and interesting to overhear a conversation between a couple on the MRT yesterday – the girl was sa jiaoing in a bid to get a pair of new shoes and her bf was hinting to her how she wasted his money when she took an eternity to select a pair of size 8 sandals which still hasn’t seen the light of day. Please, don’t call me a kaypoh, it’s impossible to tune out when the couple is right next to you in a squashed train and I swear my hair was standing on its end. I can’t imagine enduring this kind of nonsense and it felt weird when CG was talking about his gf crying over the phone having not seen her beloved.



Anyway, I spent most of my time bitching about army life and how much I dread going back during lunch today, which consisted of two cups of tea, wanton mee, roti prata with egg and onions and tim sum. As usual, mom snapped back with her usual fare of “If you don’t learn to enjoy it, you’ll hate the next two years”. *Rolls eyes.



Now, I shall talk about how I’ve spent my first two weeks in BMT. For starters, I shall proclaim that I endured the first 7 days and slacked the next 7 no thanks to a fever and throat infection, followed by a slight bout of cough and flu, which I am still recovering from. Things I like about that place – BCCT (Basic Close Combat Training) which teaches self defence. It’s quite cool apart from that mad, sadistic instructor, but who cares, we get him once in a while. Haven’t had a chance to experience SOC yet, since I sat out most of the lessons and missed my first 4km route march. Let’s not forget the talk cock sessions with my bunk mates, especially with Justin and CG who never seem to stop talking – I remember the session about gfs while washing clothes in the toilet. So amusing. Oh yes, the intentional gay acts and comments, especially from Xinwei who was made (in)famous when he proclaimed to the section that there was “egg white” on his pants and his supposed target – Justin, the NJ swimming captain and S, out PTI, famous for his low trunks and key at his butt crack. Enough of the grisly details.



Apart from that, the benefits of PT are beginning to show. Broader shoulders, a nice tan (apart from the “bra” lines) and more defined arms, which now make it possible for me to go sleeveless and yes, the islands once submerged below see level (no thanks to a tsunami of fats) are now beginning to emerge as the water subsides. I am trying to chiong my pull-ups, which has dramatically decreased from 7 to nothing after the A-levels though I have maintained my overall fitness. Going to chill before I return to my "home". Home?...I don't wanna go home...

I'm back, tanner and with broader shoulders...

I'm back, finally, from the forsaken, damned island known as Tekong.



(Disclaimer: The following is a personal view and shall not be taken seriously. In choosing to continue reading, the individual agrees that HE/SHE will not hold the writer responsible for airing his views and viewing certain comments as personal attacks. Enough said.)



There's actually quite a lot of things for me to say, but I'm kinda lazy, cos there is just too much recorded in my diary, which I have been faithfully (as hard as I try) updating for the past 14 days (which seems like a year). I do so for a few reasons: to record the day's events and to try to maintain my English standard in a place where some can't speak properly and vulgar words are part of the dictionary and language which is normally used.



First things first. I'm in Hawk Company together with ZW, Daniel Tan, Dom, plus CYX and Abiel who are in my platoon. Everyone in this company hails from a junior college, which indicates a higher level of education and hence, makes this "unique" company a scholar company, which (they don't deny) has a majority set for commanding school. Anyway, I have sworn to keep information from that island secret and so, I shan't divulge too much.



It's an irony, a big irony that we're supposed to be thankful that we are given free food, free lodging PLUS an allowance. Frankly, I would rather stay home and work for a living to substitute the bloody lack of freedom - in there, walking is a priviledge, answering nature's call is stressful business (pun intended, and which is termed as BIG investments by certain individuals) and watching TV is a luxury that we would grovel and beg for. A trip to E-mart, the local provision store is treated like a shopping trip at Orchard - civilians turned recruits are reduced to such a PATHETIC state.



Back to business. Let me recount my first day - full of joy, full of laughter, as I remember seeing scrambling personnel all around, who screwed up and left my parents stranded in the canteen while their dear son took his oath, swearing allegiance to this country, a moment that most parents wouldn't want to miss (yeah right). It was a mockery of the system in my eyes, a blemish to a show that was meant to impress upon parents the efficiency and adequacies of current system in place. Anyway, a few of them were quite pissed that they actually missed the whole ceremony, no thanks to the cock up, and I just stood there, outside the auditorium with the new sling bag (which is a goodie bag) and my backpack, waiting for my parents so I could join them for "food sampling", a "preview" of what we recruits would get, to allay the fears of NS boys being given food unfit for consumption which had been a result of horror stories about how it was previously prepared by unwilling recruits who churned out crap, and a rule that no food shall go to waste. My mom used to "threaten" me with images of Sgts punishing you for not finishing up your veggies - CRAP.



For the record, my parents received a letter of apology which resulted in them being "unable to attend the CO's opening address".



I shall stop here for the day. Too much negative energy to begin with.



Lights out 0100. Reville 1200.

The eve of the end of civilian life

I will officially become state property (not as if I am not) in a few hours time, where I'll say goodbye to many things such as my home, my hair and for at least two years, my pink i/c.

Oh well, these are things that I will miss, including the right to use the internet, watch TV, go to bed at my wimp and fancy and maybe including the nagging from my mom, which I believe will be replaced by commanders barking orders at recruits. I will look hideous without hair, but fret not, I have a cap, a black adidas one. I think everyone looks forward to the new look of the new recruits, the shaven head, the black specs, all testimony to the fact that we are MEN, "willing" to fight for our country.

I had breakfast with mama today at Hougang Central, which was very nice of her. Despite the obvious gaps of silence which punctuated our 30 min meal, due to the age gap, I could just sense the warmth of my grandma's love (I'm beginning to tear now). We tried out the wanton mee, which mama enjoyed and gave half to me, and to my astonishment, another bowl of Teochew mee, which she wanted to try out as well... So I basically ate about 2 bowls of noodles, both of which mama liked. Haha, I guessed she didn't make a wasted trip. Mama gave me an ang bao to "bao ping an" - not an amulet, but maybe something symbolic and I will treasure it, and the words which she wrote "shang di yong yuan yu ni tong zai" May God be with you forever. I'm feeling tingly all over.

I spent the afternoon with daddy sipping my favourite tea at Ang Mo Kio, before I ripped him of at least a hundred bucks getting all my army stuff - my new plastic black frames, a "cheap" ($22) casio watch and soap etc. Oh well, army life, I guess it's something like school, conducted in a slightly different manner.

Anyway, thanks to everyone for their smses and they're prayers. To alina, don't worry, I won't come out a beng who sprouts vulgarities (hopefully). To Chun Wee, thanks for your welcome notes to Tekong Resort. To James Ji and the NS guys, thanks for your sms and prayers. To Shukun, thanks for the meeting yesterday and your prayesr too. God will protect me in the army so rest assured everyone, I'll live to let my scalp see the light of day... =)

About 9 more hours to go. To everyone, I will right my thoughts in a diary so don't worry, I'll update my blog when I get back. Army should be SO interesting.

A silence of 2 weeks begins right now. Meanwhile, those who wish to pray for me, here are a few things that you can pray for:

1. My walk with God will continue to remain strong, and to grow

2. My health, that God will sustain me through the vigorous training

3. That I'll find Christian platoon mates whom I can fellowship with

4. I'll adapt well to the new environment, more importantly, to constantly adopt a positive attitude

5. Anything problems and challenges that an army guy will face in BMT

How I wish I had a girlfriend right now...Oh well...

Anyway, look out for the meaner, leaner, darker me...

I'm going for an extreme makeover...finally, maybe my durian seeds will pop out! Yes! And I finally get the tan I always desired. Haha.

Bye everyone.

Hugz.

2nd last day of Civilian Life

I guess God is bent on teaching me about fellowship until the last day of my life as a civilian, before I become STATE PROPERTY.

Don't call me narcissistic but I've been spending more time looking at the mirror the past few days, to check out the progress of the training that I've forced upon myself. Pullups, push ups, things like that has resulted in muscles and a better physique I must say, and I couldn't stop admiring myself in the full glass panels that lined the platform of Hougang MRT station. I have a chest (Note: not BREASTS!) and I like the way it shows through my T-shirts :).

Met up with Timoth Pang, Kenneth and Mark at Lavendar before heading to Beach Road where we bought all our army stuff, at the same time, to have a very nice chat about army life. I believe it is going to be a real challenge and I think it will force me to grow closer to the Lord. $40 flew away at Beach Road which boiled down to a big red plastic bag of stuff, to prepare me for what is headed my way - BMT. The Uncle had originally calculated $43.20 but reduced it to $41. I gave him $50 and he asked if I had a dollar - I 'pretended' to look into my wallet (which I really did!) and figured I could bargain and increase my consumer surplus so I slashed it to $40 and gave Mark Chow a victory look. I think he was amazed, perhaps amused, by how I was able to lower the price with such ease. Acting my friend, drama taught me that skill.

We proceeded downstairs to the hawker centre and enjoyed a cup of sugar cane courtesy of Tim (my first treat of the year) while musing over how Kenneth could derive so much satisfaction from finding "Sparkling" Ribena (something which he had been searching for a long time). For the record, I think the only extra ingredient was carbonated water, to which Tim responded with, "You burp it out anyway".

On our way to Lavendar after parting with the two who were headed back to the shop to get something for Joel Nah, Tim asked me if I brought a bag to put everything in, because carrying a big red plastic bag around looked rather weird, or obiang for that matter... haha, I joined the ranks of auntie for a day. :)

I reached Toa Payoh early and went to CD Rama and finally got Ronan Keating's Greatest Hits! My first purchase of the year! At 4.30, I met Shukun at Toa Payoh interchange and we sat down for coffee at StarBucks (the caramel frappucino on him, my second treat of the year) and talked for about an hour, about army life, drama, what I wanted to do etc. I did share with him my desire to have a full scale musical, which hopefully, the drama team can put up in 3 years time when we build the new church. So exciting! In fact, I was quite surprised to know that LTA had originally asked the church if we wanted an underground tunnel leading to the church from the station. Cool eh?

Oh well, after that I went around supermarkets and shops to get more stuff, including sweets and spent even more money... oh well.

I'm meeting ma ma tomorrow for lunch and she's giving me an Ang Bao! So sweet of her, at least she remembers me -she's the nicest grandma on earth and never forgets my birthday. Oh well, sleeping now...I shall wake up early and try to maximise my last day as a civilian.

Bye everyone!

4 more days...

Amidst the hustle and bustle reverberating from the frantic parents of primary 1 kids and all those going back to school, here I am, enjoying life, peaceful and free from the worries of having to go back to school. Mark Chow and I were going crazy during the sermon yesterday when Dave mentioned about going back to school. "What school?! School rocks man?!" we exclaimed, eliciting stares and snide remarks from those sitting around us...it was dumb, but fun while it lasted. Teeheehee.

Well, I should be getting to sleep now, it's almost 10.30pm. Despite having the luxury of being able to get up late, something which I will sorely miss when I get conscripted, I suppose I should try to get myself adapted to the 7hr rest period, instead of the 10hr one which I have gotten so accustomed to during this 1 month break.

Chao biaing my fitness, in the hope that I won't suffer so much... the two dumbells that my parents bought in the 1980s finally saw the light of day and they have become my best friends while watching Ocean's Eleven, quite a good show eh, my companions in doing 200 reps of bicep curls and other stuff, which ya, stretch into the 100s zone... I am bloody weak at pushups and pullups and in terms of my fitness so I guess I'll have to start running tomorrow. Hopefully, I'll be able to reach my desired timing of 11.00 mins in my 2.4km run.

I must treasure the last few days of freedom. Let's recount today - I was tired and fell asleep a few times during sermon (bad boy) and I didn't really like the worship leader (I know it's wrong of me to criticise but service requires aptitude as well, it's always a dilemma between heart and the skills we possess) because of a severe deficiency in keeping with the beat. Oh well.

After the service, I said goodbye to Amy in advance and received a "reassuring" "Don't worry, you'll be fine" and "It's okay, you'll come out in one piece". Ivan Teo sounded better and he chanted whatever OCS has taught him to about progressive training, adopting a positive attitude - basically, he's been brainwashed. Model officer produced on that conveyor belt from the machine known as SAFTI. But I don't mind getting him as my officer - he's super nice.

It's almost 2300 hours, I better be on my way to dreaming about getting pumped. So farewell everyone, tis' the end of another entry...

2005

The world ushered in a new year and left the past behind with a wimp rather than a bang, well my side of the world did at least. After shopping for about 5hrs, from two to about 7, I finally met Chun Wee at Coffee Bean@Taka where we just sat down and whiled away, actually I would say caught up with each other, for the next 2 hours - a valuable opportunity to rest my tired feet, and to get the psychological rest from walking the whole of Ngee Ann City and support for the dreaded day I get conscripted into National Slavery.



I know I should "adopt a positive attitude" but till today, despite all the crap and experience I have gone through in a uniform group, I still dread regimentation, the need for standardisation etc. - I fear the moments when officers would breathe down your necks, baggage checks, parade changes and perhaps, additional guard duty that would snatch away the valuable time that I would get to go home and sleep. Army, a force to be reckoned with. Oh well.



I had met Yangqi, Boon Kwan, Sharon and Boon Seer after seeing Zara's SALE advert on the newspaper. Coincidentally, my horoscope said that a phone call would change my life on Thursday - which one I don't know, but I awoke to an SMS from a friend to check on the Zara sale on Thursday. I had originally intended to go shopping on Thursday but a glitch in the UPenn onlnine application caught me offguard and sent me scrambling to fix things. Oh well, things happen for a reason. I sailed past the Chicago U one, having made sure everything was in order. Then at 2am on New Year's Eve, I clicked the submit button with a great sense of pride and satisfaction and completed the last of my university applications. Oh what a sense of relief!



Recounting, doing US uni applications had been a nightmare - UC Berkeley's was done with much haste, I had enjoyed writing Chicago's essays (which I hope to get in - they obviously have a great sense of humour) and struggled through UPenn's Page 217 of my 300 page autobiography, which I had been musing over for the past few days. Overall, I stand a better chance for Chicago (hopefully) and I hope they enjoy my super-huge mustard inspired essay.



I know my English standard is in a mess and is hitting rock bottom - I have been doing a lot of reading, save the hour that I spend daily reading newspapers. Sigh, I'll guess I'll miss out on this simple pleasure when I enter NS. Chun Wee reminded me that my English was bad...I concur with his view and working on Microsoft Word doesn't help, especially when you have SpellCheck. Perhaps army will force me to do some reading...

After walking the whole of Orchard Road, down all the way to Dhoby Ghaut, Chun Wee and I settled at LJS to have the last meal of the year - for me at least...Chun Wee on the other hand managed to dig out the last treat from me for 2004 - a packet of fries which I ordered as a side order. Once again, we indulged in conversation...this time dwelling on ghostly encounters in the army to while away the time until 11.30pm where we headed to the Esplanade for the final half an hour of 2004.

As we squeezed through the crowd, there was an excitement building up in me - perhaps it was my very first countdown with a good friend of mine, or perhaps it was the birth of a new year, a new beginning with brand new possibilities that set the adrenaline pumping. I couldn't really tell...

We finally settled on the other end of the waterfront, enjoying the splendid view of the Merlion with the Fullerton as its backdrop which I felt was perfect, considering that it was once the General Post Office (it's my hobby damn it...). It was a nice night, save the passive smoke that was choking me when a mat in front of us set alight a cigarette. Oh well, it is a public space anyway.

The countdown was an anti-climax. In fact, there wasn't a countdown as I was hoping for - the faintest 5,4,3,2,1 was heard from a small cruise boat, bobbing on the rather choppy waters in front of us; the new year had arrived, with a moment of silence for the tsunami victims, a stark contrast from the celebrations that others were having in the other parts of the world, save for Asia. Slowly, people started lighting sparklers and spraying confetti, the only signs that the new year had approached; the only thing we got that was close to fireworks was a spark that flew up into the air with a loud crack. Was it a flare? I don't know, but at least, it was impressive while it lasted.

Chun Wee shook my hand and wished me Happy New Year, while a Caucasian lady smiled at me when I attempted to console myself (aloud) that the countdown wasn't over yet, that somewhere, it was still seconds before 12. Yes, there was no countdown. Nothing, nothing at all.

Despite that, there was a cosy ambience to the place. At least I was there, standing and enjoying the cool breeze, together with a good friend, fortunate enough to last through 2004 while others grieve and weep, marking goodbyes to their loved ones, swept from the shore, lost to the depths of the sea. Rotting bodies, epidemics, the task of reconstruction and rebuilding accompanied by an uncertain future - surely, there is much to be thankful for. I guess a celebration would have be welcomed, but amidst the grim and harsh reality that surrounds the poverty stricken nations around Singapore, a moment of silence was surely a somber yet apt response to the situation around us.

I met those who came from church on the way back and bid farewell to Chun Wee, before catching up with Liz, Adele, Jon, Ian, Shufen and Don (I think that was his name). Watching a gig by a local band Electra was rather exciting, though it damaged my eardrums to some extent but I enjoyed the music. At least we recognise talent, something which is so scarce in this tiny island. We stayed till about 1.00 am before trying to rush to catch the last train. Unfortunately, we failed to do so but thank goodness, there was the night rider which took me home at a premium of $3.00. My concession had expired and I no longer enjoyed the priviledges that I had as a student, something that I had failed to treasure while it lasted. Sigh, another sign of old age.

I went to church at 2.30pm today to meet up with Dave, to confirm whether I should take on the role of ACGL of Maria's CG, which happens to consist of Sec 1 girls. What's with me and my affinity for girls and being the only thorn among the roses?! Will my unique position in the drama team before Clement and Bryan joined us set a precedence for future roles? Am I THAT experienced at handling (or rather, dealing with) girls? Argh.

The worship at TM today was good. Edmund played the intro for the wrong song to which I gladly conferred him the dubious honour of making the first mistake of the year, which elicited some laughs and a comment from Liz about my pessimism. There are changes in this new year especially at YF - CG 10 now fails to exist while some of us, me included, have moved on to join the NS guys. We had our first meeting as a new CG, thankfully I must say, without Joel Yong. The rest of them were giving me an idea of what BMT would be like, a rather grim and unpleasant one, which caused my heart to skip a beat. In addition, it didn't help that Mark could expect a much easier time, no SOC, no IPPT etc. the perks of a PES C slacker. Argh.

At the end of CG time, we proceeded down to the monkey bars for an initiation ceremony, in which we had to do 6 pull ups. I did 3 and was assisted to do another 5 by Edmund - he's a nice guy. Shukun prayed for me before YF ended and set an appointment for Tuesday to have lunch with me. Tomorrow will be another new day, I'll attend first service and listen to Timothy Pang speak (and talk for a long time according to Jon Ji) about NS, plus a list of what I should get. It's nice to have the support of a group of friends, it feels good. Oh well, I don't have to go to school on Monday however, something worst beckons... BMT on Thursday at 8.30 am, on the forsaken island, the place where boys become men.

Whatever la.