31st May 2007

so today's vesak day and i'm stuck at home, honking on the computer or what ever.
spending such a fine day in vain, just felt so boring.

anyway on monday, finally took the O lvl chinese exam which hopefully i can pass. although many said it was simple and a1 or a2 would certainly be easy to attain, but for me i guess passing it would be like a huge milestone in my life. lol
On paper 1, kinda hectic, didn't bring in my IC and furthermore i wrote the letter wrong.
It was a Gong Han (formal letter) in which i would have to post to a orphanage manager to ask if my school can pay a visit there for some CIP or something. But due to my _____ chinese, i guessed that i would have to invite him to the orphanage, and therefore, in my letter, i wrote....something like that
Dear Mr Orhpanage manager, please come to your orphanage for a visit. lol.

(for the _____ , fill in any negative adj. you see fit. )

Then Tuesday and Wednesday had stars.... good thing we had these supplimentary lessons, if not i'll certainly be bored to death at home. like today.
nothing happened today. nothing.

oh and i watched Pirates of The Carribbean 3 on tuesday night. The show lasted about 2 hours and 20 minutes.
how i rate it ? Its a very good show. really. except that i didn't like the last, as in the very very last part. i think there'll be a POTC 4 ! (now thats something to look forward to = ) )

Holidays are borring.
I want to go to school.

26th of May 2007 (wtf)

You asked if i wanted a shoe,
I replied, "yes dad. I do
but ask Mum's permission first,
cause she wants me to study"

"Go lor since he doesn't want to study"
In a very pissed tone she replied,
well, i was already very depressed that day.
And she just had to let anger find a way.

So i got so pissed,
cause before that i told her i'll study soon,
and didn't meant to make her angry,
so i yelled, you came and got pissed too.

So it all started like this,
you got so angry you called me a bastard.
You almost punched me but miss.
And because mum fended me, you didn't beat me.

Its been a long time since i cried.
But as u saw the tears,
your anger u tried to hide,
then you tried to hug me...

...i know its against my personality,
to ever scold a vulgarity,
but what the fuck, its the only way to describe reality.
and fuck when i cry, i don't need your sympathy.

So i pushed your hands away,
and stormed through the door in dismay.
And before i entered the lift,
i saw your tears, filled with grief.

Since i cried, its been years.
I left with a pen and paper,
and wrote this with tears:

I hope at home we'll reconcil,
And be once again a caring family.
For it breaks my heart to see you like that.
And yours too, to see me in solarity.

And once again i'll be in your keep.
That if tonight i shall ever sleep.
I'm not afraid to never wake.
For you'll know in heaven, your loving son would wait.

20th May 2007

hi. this week was supposed to be great; cuz exams ended this week.
but as the saying goes... good things never last, yea i'm sure its quite true.
immidiately, after the mid year examination, i got my results the next day =(
okay... obviously, from that frowning face, you can tell that it wasn't fantastic at all, or rather i would say, it was horrible.
Failed A-Maths ( i ald expected to fail ) and Chinese ( which i had also expected to fail. lol )

anyway i ... felt kinda sad that this year i'll be taking o lvls and leaving secondary school (something i nv planned to ever do, cuz secondary sch's just so fun =) )

and anyway for exams, i didn't really put in my best to study, so i guess i don't deserve to feel sad for that.
haven't told my parents my results lol. but anyway that wouldn't make any difference.

on friday, finally our class shirt/ jersey was made !! Wheeee. Finally we can have some sense of identity. 4ea ! =)
It costs $22 each. okay kinda reasonable. and we're gonna collect it this wednesday. Its quite far away, at queenstown.

Today's sunday. Today was great! did many fun stuffs. altough i had to study abit of chinese for the upcoming GCE "O" Levels Chinese Exams.

okay i guess i shud stop here before my readers doze off with this boring post.
furthermore there's sch tmr and its already almost 2am. =)
goodnight.

13th May 2007; MOTHER'S DAY

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY to mums around the world.

...since today's mothers day, yea, the posts should be mother's day themed.

well, today's the day when mothers around the world unite to celebrate.
how did mother's day come about? and where's father day =(

maybe its mother's day because of the unbearing pain they go through during child birth or maybe its cuz...since mostly fathers work, so they get to enjoy labour day but moms don't cuz most of them don't work.

anyway my reason would be - For Being My Mum.

Yes, as u all know what sacrifices and hardship a mother of christopher has to go through;

-such as worrying as you try to sleep of whether i'll come back home safely, but not wanting to reassure yourself cuz you know that calling my hp just to ensure a goodnight's sleep would contribute to my hp's outstanding bill.
-and when u hear the door creak open, you refrain from getting out of bed to welcome me home cuz you know that'll make me worry whether you'll sleep well whenever i'm late outside.
-and before i wake up the next morning, you had to ensure that a nutritous breakfast would be ready to fill my stomach.
-and in the afternoon you would have to once again put up with my sustained arguments,debates and complaints as you try your best to impart your knowledge about chinese words into my brain which would somehow by then be in dreamland.
-by evening, you would have to cook dinner even though your favorite show's on tv.
-only to be disappointed with me informing you that i'll be going out at the very last minute.
-but upon seeing me smiling just before i leave the house to meet my friends, you decided that it'll be best not to argue and spoil my mood.
-instead you hid your heavy heart behind a weary smile,
-saying in a soft voice, telling me to enjoy myself as well as to come home safety.
-and just before the doors of the lift were to close, you would call out my name, rushing to press 'open', only to see my curious face and sometimes irritated, when i'm in a hurry, and you would ask, if i'd enough money
-and then bid me goodbye.
-as the doors closed, i know thats when you'll let out your displeasure with a frown u tried to resist. Sometimes it came out too soon,
-and you would worry once again, if i'd seen it.
-and whenever you had something nice to show me, you would come into my room and show me,
-hoping that i'll at least get entertained or happy,
-but i only showed a face of irritation as if you've disturbed my peace
-and sometimes, when i'm stress, i would scream at you, sometimes, hurling hurtful words.
-and when you had sonething to attend to, you would ask me if u looked nice in that gown
-but i'll not even take a much notice but to slightly turn my head and shurg you off with a frustrated reply or sometimes nothing at all,

yes, theres many more difficulties a mother of christopher has to go through, but i'm just already too guilty to write them all down. furthermore, there wouldn't be enough space.

i've learnt alot from you, such as not to boss around my emotions, thats why i don't frown infront of my friends.
i've changed for the better thanks to you.

yes, mom you've changed too. i still remember you putting ure hands around my waist, lifting me up to reach the monkey bars, and slowly walking along side with me, with your vigilant hands always below me, afraid that i might fall and get hurt.
and i also remembered that you could finish it too.
but a few days ago you couldn't even reach it and instead of encouraging you, i merely laughed. i was in a good mood then.

yes, we'd many joy and fun together as well as many pains and sorrow.

at times i really wanted to apologise and say i'm sorry or to reply or help you up. but inorder to keep my cool i didn't.

i know you would never read this post but i just hope that you'll know that i'm really sorry although i don't say it out, i hope my actions speaks for me.
-when i bought bubble tea home everytime i came home at night.
-when i lied that i've studied
-when i said thank you.
-etc.

yes i guess i'll have to stop here now. my mom's gonna cut the 'Mother's Day' cake soon,with other mums and i surely would want to be there.
yes i'll smile.

happy mother's day MUM!

oh and i meant to say this that night:
You look absolutely beautiful in that gown.

10th May 2007

hi. well, had physics today.
paper seems kinda easy but the problem is that i won't score for it.

anyway i think i shaded 1 or 2 mcq answers wrongly cuz i thought that it was 1 and 1/2 hours. so i had only shaded like till question 20(yes, mind you, i was taking my own sweet time checking) when miss tan said '4ea and 4eb pens down'

hai.. managed to sleep about 5 minutes during physics mcq, but none during paper 2.
i think i'm suffering from - SLEEPING DEFICIENCY. caused by sleeping at 3.30 am the night before due to some last minutes revision for physics..

anyway ss and geog were easy
my AMATHS CMI.
tmr's AMATHS paper 2, its 12.04 and i've just started revising. don't really bother 'bout it this time. not surprising if i fail badly. i've foreseen that i'll get 12/80 for paper 1.

anyway i better get on with my revision. bye =)

7th May 2007

hi. tmr's geog + a maths(paper1). its 8.30pm and i've just woke up.

anyway, chem today was kinda okay...except for a few mistakes.

cut my hair in the afternoon cuz mr tan thinks its long...
anyway now i'm sure it'll pass on him.

slept after cutting hair.

think i'll just study geog. dunno if there's time for a maths. but i don't think last minute Amaths may help much
and i won't have much time to study if i'm still slacking around (eg. blogging)

so goodbye. =)

5th May 2007

hi. lets see, hows my exams..
well the practicals was okay; chem was easy, bio was stupid(cuz i studied till 3am but only like 1/20 of what i studied came out) and physics was horrible(didn't even do planning)

Chinese was devastating...i'm sure there wouldn't be any difference in my overall grade if i'd not come.
totally misunderstood the question. i did question 4 for compo...but i wrote about why foreigners condemn singaporeans..to my horror =.=' its about why foreigners wanna migrate to singapore.
lol and by now i'm sure u guys would be going...wth?
but anyway its not surprising for this to happen to a chinese failure.

anyway..pia-ing my weekends all for chem...
not caring for amaths at all..

oh and u guys just have to know how stupid some tys answers can be.
well, its not the first time there's an error.

oh well.goodbye
and all the best for ure exams

(FINALLY GOT MY HP BACK! =) )

1st May 2007

wow i just realised i can post with pda!
anyway today's labour day,
hence there's no school and
my sister's celebrating her birthday today cuz unfortunately it falls in the middle of the main exam...yea anyway i shall study at least 35% of today cuz...,
i woke up at 1 and ... there's gonna be abit of distraction here and there..

oh and i screwed my english composition; beauty is in the eye of the beholder and ...yea in the compo i was an ant fighting a neverending war with humans..
okay i'm sure now u guys would go like.. wth?