树欲静而风不止，子欲养而亲不待

最近，听到很多朋友的亲人，朋友突如其来的去世了，离开人间。
我时常想，如果我的亲人朋友突然(touch wood)发生意外，我会怎么办，承受得了吗？
如果发生意外的人是我，那我的亲人朋友又承受得了吗？
人生很多事真的是无法预测，无法控制。
爸爸时常说人总是有生老病死
人最后也是会死
担心也是无助于事

看了一部电影，里面的一段话我觉得很有意识
“有可能真的愛一個人，卻不怕他離我們而去嗎？同時我又在想，有可能這樣生活下去，卻不愛任何一個人嗎？”
有时候真的因为爱一個人，会一直担心他的安全，
虽然爸爸已经有几十年的骑摩多车的经验，如今马来西亚的交通日夜恶化，哪会不担心他的安全。
妈妈更不用再说。

有人失去了婆婆
有人失去了叔叔
有人失去了爸爸
有人失去了妈妈
有人失去了弟弟
有人失去了朋友

真的不知道怎么安慰这些人
只是默默的支持他们，希望他们坚强的面对一切
我不是他们，永远不知道他们感受

我觉得自己很幸福吧
没有经历这一切
只希望那一天来得越迟越好

也有些朋友
为了没有可能爱情
为了空虚性生活
为了工作
为了名利
为了妒忌
为了不值得我费心的事情
把自己推进一个无法解脱的黑洞

人生无常，要知足，要珍惜
说来容易，做来难
但不是不可能
只要每天知足多一点，珍惜多一点
每天都会更好一点

如果有一天真的(touchwood)我不幸出了意外
我要说的是：（希望在这一天有人可以代我把这翻话交给我爸妈）
“爸爸，我爱你
妈妈，我爱你
大哥，我爱你
二哥，我爱你
妹妹，我爱你
亲戚老师朋友同事们，很高兴认识你们，我在每一个你，都不多不少领悟到一些东西，才有今天的我，谢谢。“

“We rise to birth that always ends in death; we come just as we go.
Does the candle shed a tear when the flame goes out?
Don't be sad, be mindful.”  
                                    quoted from http://ccdonglife.blogspot.com/2009/01/meditation-on-death.html

What you really want in life?

It has been quite a while since I wrote a blog.
Just read a blog about "You can't really know what you want until you know you don't know what you want"
Here's the link if you want to have a read: http://www.raptitude.com/2012/04/you-cant-really-know-what-you-want-until-you-know-you-dont-know-what-you-want/

When we are growing up, we found that there are things we like to do and don't like to do.
Slowly, we will know what we really want to do instead of following the norm of the society.
I think many people still know know what do they really want in life, but you will eventually...

How quickly we discover what you really want in life depends on how often you we what we are not used to doing. I agree with the point of the blog saying, "travel hastens it, and habits stifle it"

Travel more often

It's true. The more you travel, the more things you try, the more people you meet, the more you know about yourself, how diverse the world is. I always have the problem of thinking everything is perfect, yet, nothing is perfect and that's the beauty of it.

The grass on the other side of the fence is always greener

We always envy people for all the good things they can do and experience.
Yet we often ignore the story beneath it.

So the point of this blog is to write down what thing I want to do in life:
I want to read more books (not textbook of course)
I want to improve my Mandarin and Cantonese
I want to learn about Chinese literature
I want to learn violin
I want to learn guitar/ ukulele
I want to compose music
I want to paint pictures while listening to music
I want to bring my parents to travel somewhere around the world at least once a year
I want to gain weight (goal: 75kg)
I want to learn how to cook all my favourite dishes and many more
I want to have more heart to heart conversation with friends
I want to go to Africa
I want to be mindful at all times
I want to sit/stand with good posture all the time
I want to cook reunion dinner for my family and relatives during Chinese New Year
I want to have a healthy lifestyle which means less alcohol
I want to do more volunteering
I want to learn to control my temper when I'm talking with my parents


My university life will officially end in one month, and I hope it would be even exciting in the next stage of life which is Job Seeking. lol
Life will be more exciting when you know what you want to do.
Don't live a life which you do things that people want you to do or what you think you SHOULD do.
Instead, live a life which you do what you WANT to do.

"We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the life that is waiting for us", Joseph Campbell

Living in Fear is not Living at all!

Let’s take a moment and think of them. Think of some of the excuses that you can drum up to keep from trying something new, taking a risk, or doing something to change your life:

· Something may go wrong.

· Things may not go the way that I planned.

· I tried doing something once, and it didn’t work out.

· Bad things could happen if I am unsuccessful, so I won’t try.

· It might upset those around me if I change my behavior.

The list of possibilities is endless. There are so many reasons why you should not take any risks in life – except for one thing. Living in fear is not really living at all!

Fear is a natural response to any dangerous situation. Fear is something that children naturally possess. The fear of strangers, the fear of falling, and the fear of the dark are all fears that are routinely found in children. Being fearful can have a protective effect on a child’s well being. For example, being afraid of loud noises could prevent a child from fearlessly running into a dangerous situation. However, adults sometimes generalize this “protective intuition” into a fear of trying anything new because they do not want to fail or make a mistake.

Most people who lead full, rich, and satisfying lives will validate that personal growth is a very important aspect of their lives. If you are the same person at 40 years of age that you were when you were 20 years old, you may very well be bored, unhappy, and feel that your life has gone nowhere. That very well may be the case! Every day that you waste will not be replaced. Just imagine how you would feel if you woke up one day and felt that you had wasted 20 years of your life! Living in fear will prevent you from growing as a person. If you constantly second guess yourself, focus on your mistakes, and think about the downside of any new situation, you will never voluntarily choose to move forward with your life. It will be difficult for you to be a “self-starter” or make any changes in your life because you will be afraid of all the possible negative outcomes of your decision.

The fear of making a mistake also results in another sad situation: it is very unlikely that you will take advantage of all the opportunities in your life that present themselves to you. You may choose not to make a change in your career, take a promotion to a different type of job in the same company, enter into a new business venture, enter into a new relationship, or have a child. These are just a few of the decisions that may be put off and put off until you can no longer take advantage of them. There are, in fact, many opportunities in life (e.g., a career change or having a child) for which there is never a “perfect time.” Waiting for that time is really making a decision not to move forward with your life. The majority of the opportunities that we have in life (e.g., beginning a new relationship or entering into a new business venture) are time limited. Therefore, your paralysis about whether or not to take advantage of an opportunity will simply result in that opportunity being lost.

Many of my clients who have repeatedly failed to take advantage of opportunities (especially business opportunities that have later proved to be successful ventures for someone else) experience a sense of failure or depression. “Why didn’t I do that” is a question that may nag at them for the rest of their lives. These feelings can only lead to unhappiness and the belief that they have wasted large chunks of their lives. Unhappiness or general non-enjoyment of life can lead to a plethora of unintended consequences including poor health, severed relationships, and depression or anxiety.

My message to you should be clear: while it is important to carefully weigh the opportunities that are placed before you, choosing to live a “safe” life with few or no risks may also be a choice to live a frustrating and unhappy life. A certain amount of risk-taking is an important part of any full and successful life. Yes, there will be times that you fail. Yes, there will be times when you wish you had made another decision. Yes, hindsight may prove that waiting for a different opportunity would have been a better decision. However, each of your decisions that result in a successful experience will give you a general sense of happiness about your life. They will also open more successful opportunities to you in the future.

There are endless reasons to not act on a hunch, seize an opportunity, or live each day to the fullest. However, the lost opportunities and the lack of enjoyment of your life will far and away outweigh any risk that you may choose to take. When in doubt, just remember: living in fear is not really living at all!

Copyright © 2000 - 2011 Susan C. Rempel, Ph.D. All rights reserved.