Thursday, December 22, 2011
As much as I love Christmas, I don't want it to come so soon. Not this weekend, not now. With the arrival of Christmas, it would mean I have to go back to London all by myself in about a week. Love is here. Love is home. Love is just not the same over Skype.
Saturday, December 17, 2011
Last night my friends in London were all updating me about the snow and how deliriously happy they were. Only to text back 15mins later saying the rain killed it all and they were all left with slushy snow/rain. Strangely, last night, I dreamt that I was playing in puddles of slushy snow on a field of unnaturally green looking green. I had on the most glorious pair of wellies and the air was humid and thick with rain. It was weird, but I remember being happy, so happy. Then I woke up, hungry. I reckon the number one reason I was ecstatic in my dream because the air was warm. Goddammit, when will it stop being cold in London. It's definitely something I can never get used to. Contrary to what everyone told me, my skin unfortunately doesn't agree with freezing temperatures and dry air. It's simple logic, if it's cold, the air is dry, and if it gets too cold, you have to switch on the central heating, which dries out your skin even more. Sometimes I wonder if I'll wake up looking like a prune.
The best and most useful item in my massive stash of skincare that I brought along is undoubtedly the ettusais lip essence. When I came back, Sherry from ettusais gave me an early Christmas present:

ettusais lip essence with Little Twin Stars!!! (read previous 2 posts), imagine my excitement. It's nice and heartwarming to come back and know that you are not forgotten. (:
I am now in search for an extra moisturising day and night cream and face masks. All the skincare I currently have is only perfect for Singapore's weather. They are rubbish for London's cold. Recommend me hydrating goodies, please? I'm almost desperate!
The best and most useful item in my massive stash of skincare that I brought along is undoubtedly the ettusais lip essence. When I came back, Sherry from ettusais gave me an early Christmas present:

ettusais lip essence with Little Twin Stars!!! (read previous 2 posts), imagine my excitement. It's nice and heartwarming to come back and know that you are not forgotten. (:
I am now in search for an extra moisturising day and night cream and face masks. All the skincare I currently have is only perfect for Singapore's weather. They are rubbish for London's cold. Recommend me hydrating goodies, please? I'm almost desperate!
Friday, December 16, 2011
I want to host a party where guests have to dress up in fancy dresses and well tailored suits. Shoes will be allowed indoors and it is a prerequisite that they must match your outfit and cannot be black. It will be a hush-hush affair and all attendees will be immediately ushered into a corridor by a mousey-looking girl with ginger coloured hair in neat double fish braids, and not a single freckle on her perfect face. The corridor will lead guests to a dimly lit room hidden from the public eye, by a sci-fi metallic door that scans your iris to allow entrance. An elaborate mask adored with feathers, sequins and gems must cover each and every guest's face and all will mingle around with a montrachet glass in hand filled with peppermint-flavoured soft serve ice cream. Perfect swirls of mint green blobs with no sprinkles and no spoons included. And that is all that will be served for the night. Everyone will walk around giving pecks on the cheeks of strangers, speaking into each other's ears in quiet voices over the loud and garish music playing from an old gramophone. No one would know the lyrics to any of the songs. And so all will walk around and around searching for a familiar face beneath those feathered masks, with ice cream that never seem to melt.
Thursday, December 15, 2011
After finally unpacking the last item from my luggage, i realise I only have 3 more weeks before I head back to London. During my week back, I've been desperately trying to meet everyone, going through all my old junk, sorting out items to donate or trash (like an engineering textbook). Looking through boxes of long forgotten memories can be quite rewarding and nostalgic. Like finding little plastic figurines of Kiki and Lala from Little Twin Stars. How I used to love them. My mom would buy me these intricate japanese candies with a Little Twin Star toy inside with only 3 tiny balls of chocolate in a box large enough to contain 50 of them. I would instantly become the happiest girl in the world.
I miss the days when everyone was loving, everything was simple, every thought was innocent. I am someone who hate changes to be honest. Yeah sure, new challenges make you learn in order to adapt and hence you grow. If you don't try you never know. How many times have I repeated that to someone regarding my move, but deep down inside, I think it was me I am trying to convince.
There are lots of roads that I could travel, but I am only one. And I can only choose one. Now that it has been chosen, there is no turning back. Also another fact about me, I never and would absolutely hate myself if I lived with a regret. I believe with all my heart that everything is how it is for a reason and you will never know it until all is said and done and you look back a decade from now. I guess being 23 (almost 24 since the year-end is looming), means I look back to when I was 13 which isn't much exciting. I was new in school, trying to fit in, trying to make friends, trying to be someone I was supposed to be. And 10 years from then, I'm still trying to fit in, still trying to make new friends, still trying to be that elusive someone I am supposed to be.
Next weekend, we all celebrate Christmas 2011.
Next year, I want to visit Stockholm.
Next decade, I want to meet the person I am supposed to be.
Next time, I want to be that person I was meant to be all along.
I miss the days when everyone was loving, everything was simple, every thought was innocent. I am someone who hate changes to be honest. Yeah sure, new challenges make you learn in order to adapt and hence you grow. If you don't try you never know. How many times have I repeated that to someone regarding my move, but deep down inside, I think it was me I am trying to convince.
There are lots of roads that I could travel, but I am only one. And I can only choose one. Now that it has been chosen, there is no turning back. Also another fact about me, I never and would absolutely hate myself if I lived with a regret. I believe with all my heart that everything is how it is for a reason and you will never know it until all is said and done and you look back a decade from now. I guess being 23 (almost 24 since the year-end is looming), means I look back to when I was 13 which isn't much exciting. I was new in school, trying to fit in, trying to make friends, trying to be someone I was supposed to be. And 10 years from then, I'm still trying to fit in, still trying to make new friends, still trying to be that elusive someone I am supposed to be.
Next weekend, we all celebrate Christmas 2011.
Next year, I want to visit Stockholm.
Next decade, I want to meet the person I am supposed to be.
Next time, I want to be that person I was meant to be all along.
Friday, December 9, 2011
They say, "home is where the heart is." coming back to Singapore made me realise that this is where my heart belongs. As much as I love London, my new friends, the vast number of opportunities, the interesting and open fashion (when I say fashion, I mean everything under the umbrella of fashion) scene there, Singapore is safe. I'm not just referring to crime rates, but this is where my heart feels the safest. Despite being an expensive country to live in, further exacerbated by salaries not rising in tandem to the price hikes of, basically everything, we actually have it quite easy here. The transport system is amazing here (yes, honestly, please stop complaining), we've got lovely weather, an incredible amount of mobile internet, wide variety of affordable food and it's not even National Day and here I am being patriotic. Well, I'm back for a month and Singapore is all mine to love.
Saturday, December 3, 2011
12.23am, 3rd december, saturday morning. ive been literally been waiting for today since the first day i came to london. in a couple of hours, i will be dragging my massive luggage to the tube station, pushing through the crowds and heading to heathrow to catch my flight home. i absolutely cannot wait. off to dream about chilli crabs!
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
i just spent an entire hour laughing at THIS. maybe you should too.
Sunday, November 27, 2011
whoever said that you will miss school life once you enter the work force is obviously stuck in a shitty job. fucking hell, ive never been so stressed out in so long. but, its all over. thank God. last thursday was the last of my submissions and im coming home in a week! i can write a 3000 word essay on what i love and hate about London, but now, i just want to get back to Singapore and stuff my face with hokkien mee, POPIAH, chilli crab, orh luak, bubble tea, satay beehoon, chendol, prawn noodles, meepok, LAKSA, fish soup, tau huay, char kway teow, yong tau foo, wanton mee, lor mee, barbecued stingray, ayam penyet, nasi briyani, xiao long bao, OMG IT'S 3AM AND IM SO HUNGRY.
Friday, November 4, 2011
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
Oh London, just when I'm about to get used to your fickle weather, you give me freaking daylight savings? It's pitch black by half 6 and I'm sleepy by 7. Stop messing with my brain. No work is going to get done when I'm sleepy. I repeat, NO WORK.
Sunday, October 30, 2011
Friday, October 28, 2011
It's exactly 10 on the clock. Thursday night, cold and wet outside. I've got Bell X1's Bloodless Coup on replay. Track 11, 'Amsterdam Says' fills the room, my room. The room with a brick wall, an odd angle and the boiler inconveniently placed. The plastic blinds are weak substitutes for the frosted windows that filter the soft amber corridor lights into my room back at home. The positioning of this new bed forces me to sleep on my right, to face those cheap blinds as I watch the street lamps illuminate the night. I can never fall asleep that way, I only and always sleep on my left. And so I watch the street lights till my body craves for rest. I turn around, close my eyes, picture those frosted windows I know and allow myself to dream of home.
Saturday, October 22, 2011

first, here's a touristy pic of me at hyde park pretending not be cold when im freezing my arse off.
second, if youre still coming back to ccchristine, thanks for sticking by. it has been a month and i am aware that ive been missing for a while. it has been a whirlwind of a month, coming to London despite never being here in my life and sticking it out and battling a cold, in the cold.
last month, i came to London half excited, half heavy-hearted. it was tears and hugs at the airport, i get emotional very easily and am absolutely useless at controlling my tear ducts. treacherous plane ride aside, the first night at my apartment was a complete nightmare. i didnt know how to work the fucking central heating, i had NO mattress (thank God, a kind friend loaned me an inflatable one), and NO duvet. i was so cold i honestly thought that i might die in this house with high ceilings and nobody would find out until my flatmate arrives to see me clutching on to every shred of warm clothing i have.
the next day, i went over to the landlord's and got that sorted out. lugged a freaking WARDROBE and duvets home. so if you ever think of bullying small asian girls, dont. because they are hulks inside.
eager to test out my new oven, i heated up ready-to-eat mushroom risotto from M&S and i came to a sudden realisation that the fucking oven will not turn off. it's a built-in oven so there was no plug to pull and i swear, i was panicking my pants off because it was too late to call the landlord and leaving an oven on the entire night does not sound like a good idea. so i decided to knock on my neighbour's door and asked him to take a look. so it turns out, ive got an insane oven and the only way to turn it off is to switch off the fuse. its like an on/off switch.
oh, and the reason why ive been missing for so long, virginmedia fucked up my internet order. apparently they were supposed to come on the 5th and i was eagerly counting down to THE day. but they never did came because they lost my order number had to re-book another. which means, i had to wait for another 2 weeks. at the back of my head, i could see myself going to each and every of their shops and burning every single one down. without the internet, i was rendered powerless. i had to rely on my slow mobile internet to check things up for school, send emails etc. it was when everyone was raving about facebook timeline and i couldnt see it. a little of me died inside. plus, that meant, NO skype. i missed everyone so much i cried a lot at night.
anyway, i turned 23 a few days ago and i decided to have a little potluck at my place with some friends although i was really depressed inside after reading emails and facebook messages from my mom, the boy and all my friends who sent their love. all i wanted at that moment was to go home instantly and then, i got the biggest birthday present i could ever wish for. the boy had flown all the way down and was standing at my doorstep with ikea meatballs in hand, all ready for the potluck. as expected, i cried like a baby.
it has been 2 days since the boy went back and im still down with a flu. despite how cold London is (close to 0°C now), how bad my cough is, nothing can bring me down. because im a small asian girl, and i have a hulk in me.
Sunday, September 18, 2011
7 hours before my flight. i wish i was as excited as everyone else is for me. heart of ice, youre melting too fast too soon.
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
"Are you scared?" he asked. Touching her hand gently, her fingertips cold as ice. It was a warm Wednesday night. The air humid and thick. She felt strangely chilly, slightly tired but with a little concerted effort, it did not show. "Jack Kerouac once said, nothing behind me, everything ahead of me, as is ever so on the road." she murmured and shifted her weight to the other side. "There is nothing to be afraid of. Especially if you don't know what to be scared of." Looking up at him, the pools of her eyes, black with fear.
Saturday, September 10, 2011
Thursday, September 8, 2011
ive said it and i'll say it again, sherry from ettusais is not only an ettusais nanny (when i was still an ettusais ambassador) but a super helpful and knowledgable brand person (she used to reply/help me with my stories back in beautymap), AND one of the sweetest friend ever!
knowing that i'll be heading over to london soon, she dropped me a text the other day to pop by the ettusais office to bring some goodies home to bring over to the UK. her text invitation was followed by a hand delivered one with a cookie which made my day.
as expected, that sweetheart had prepared the cutest little event for all the ex-ettusais ambassadors to showcase the launch of their new BB mineral powder, BB cream and liquid eyeliner!
sweet treats galore with..
kawaii japanese trainer miss Oki and model Ally,
and a roomful of kitty cats! (all unique and lovingly handmade with eyes drawn using the liquid eyeliner.
with an ultrafine brush and waterproof polymer, you can haz wing-tipped cat eyes all day long!
i love this picture of jayne and i so much! us and the mother of all the kitty cats, "lao chen" (aka, old orange). the most funny and adorable name isnt it?
my stash of goodies and my own little mr teapot!! you have no idea how glad i am with these. i forsee myself rushing for school every morning when im in london and this BB cream will come in super handy. no need for sunblock/primer! smooth over skin after your daily skincare and your base is done! you can dust the BB mineral powder over the BB cream for a matte finish. i prefer to use it for touch ups to combat mid-day shine.
go check them out and "LIKE" ettusais on facebook! they always post the cutest things and pictures of their lovely events for fans! (:
Sunday, September 4, 2011
tonight smells like rain. a little musky, a little sweet. the air hangs still and damp, i stick out the tip my tongue and almost taste it. like warm honey, silk and gold. but it's not going to rain, i can tell. it's fifteen minutes to four in the morning. the silence around me gets so loud i can hear nothing, but it. i close my eyes and count the seconds to four. it scares me. my heart beats a little faster, my blood courses through my veins a little quicker. before i can open my eyes, i know it will never feel exactly like this, fifteen minutes to four, Sunday morning in London.
Time, please wait for a while.
I'm not ready for this.
Not ready to leave.
Not ready to miss.
I'm not ready for this.
Not ready to leave.
Not ready to miss.
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
what you don't know wont kill you.
beware of what might destroy you.
beware of what might destroy you.
everyone has a ghost. a ghost from the past that revisits them once in a while. some keep their ghosts in a tightly shut box with a heavy lid on, others allow them to bring back memories from long ago. fleeting truths that you once believed and held close to your heart. can you tell the difference between darkness and shadows? or are you letting yourself revel in the shades of grey? remember, you cannot put your arms around a memory.
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
All these wasted hours.
Like a flickering flame in bright light.
Two white moths, you and I.
Like a flickering flame in bright light.
Two white moths, you and I.
Sunday, August 21, 2011
yesterday i had rare stay home weekend to myself, so i finally watched Norwegian Wood. i think director Anh Hung Tran did a good job with the details in the movie. during the first ten minutes of the movie however, i was rather disturbed by the how strangely, Naoko (Rinko Kikuchi) looks a whole lot like a friend's sister while Kizuki (Kengo Kora) looks like my housemate. besides that, the movie really did refresh all the quotes and memories of the book. in fact, im going to the library to look for it on friday, just to read it all over again. i cannot choose my favourite murakami book, its like asking me to pick my favourite child, a favourite colour; impossible. when i have the space, i will buy them all, just to leaf through the pages and smell the words because im obsessive like that. also, next on my movies-to-watch list is The Scent of Green Papaya by Anh Hung Tran. cant wait!
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
i went a little crazy over at the club21 bazaar preview today! (entrance courtesy of moses!) so i got 4 pairs of shoes, 1 wool jacket, 1 flat clutch, 1 lingerie top, 1 knit scarf and 1 knit top. all for a ridiculous amount. sale opens to public this weekend, go check it out!
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
You know that feeling you get when you wake up in the morning, all bright and sunny after a full eight hours of sleep complete with an extra 10 minutes of snooze time? Like how nothing in the world can dampen your spirits and today is the day you are going out to own it all?
You step into the bathroom and feel the gentle warmth of sunshine seeping though the curtain blinds enveloping every inch of your skin. You stare at your naked body in the gleaming full-length mirror and a little voice inside your head whispers," Hey, you look pretty good for your age. In fact, you might have lost a little of that fat around your tummy area you were concerned about. Wait, you dont just look pretty good, quite fucking fantastic actually." Your hair has just the right amount of volume and bounce, perfect length and no weird kinks curling out the wrong direction. Out-of-bed and after sex hair they call it. But you didnt even have sex last night, you giggle to yourself.
While brushing your teeth in the exact motions your handsome dentist told you that you have been doing perfect your entire life, you casually think about who would you prefer to go on a dinner date with tonight. Tom might know the best places for a glass of red but Harry always makes you feel like you're having a one-to-one private conversation with Cummings himself. Deciding not to be a dick about it, You decide to toss a coin later. There are more pressing matters, like what to wear for lunch with the girls at your favourite tapas place that serves the best Jamón Iberico de recebo. Mmm..
Mornings like these are unfortunately the exact opposite of what I've been having lately. Am down with a terrible cold and feeling like death. Will be back when I am super again!
You step into the bathroom and feel the gentle warmth of sunshine seeping though the curtain blinds enveloping every inch of your skin. You stare at your naked body in the gleaming full-length mirror and a little voice inside your head whispers," Hey, you look pretty good for your age. In fact, you might have lost a little of that fat around your tummy area you were concerned about. Wait, you dont just look pretty good, quite fucking fantastic actually." Your hair has just the right amount of volume and bounce, perfect length and no weird kinks curling out the wrong direction. Out-of-bed and after sex hair they call it. But you didnt even have sex last night, you giggle to yourself.
While brushing your teeth in the exact motions your handsome dentist told you that you have been doing perfect your entire life, you casually think about who would you prefer to go on a dinner date with tonight. Tom might know the best places for a glass of red but Harry always makes you feel like you're having a one-to-one private conversation with Cummings himself. Deciding not to be a dick about it, You decide to toss a coin later. There are more pressing matters, like what to wear for lunch with the girls at your favourite tapas place that serves the best Jamón Iberico de recebo. Mmm..
Mornings like these are unfortunately the exact opposite of what I've been having lately. Am down with a terrible cold and feeling like death. Will be back when I am super again!
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
so today, my housemate just told me that the current tenant at our place will not be leaving behind any furniture for us. so basically, when I move in, it will be a large, empty, cold and unfurnished apartment. i intend to do a massive shopping spree at ikea and get them to send everything over the day i move in. hopefully, nothing requires self assembly. i have ZERO tools. /:
Monday, August 1, 2011
today, i finally threw the letter. YES! this calls for a bottle of red. which i already had yesterday. and ruined my teeth whitening program. /:
Sunday, July 24, 2011
Saturday, July 23, 2011
having a terrible runny nose to accompany me today because of last night's celebration. ive noticed that i never get hangovers, instead all i get is a bout of flu the next day regardless of the amount i drink (okay, maybe anything more than 3 glasses). i used to think my body works in strange ways but today google told me:
Non-allergic Rhinitis
Some people experience symptoms of nasal congestion, runny nose and sneezing after the consumption of alcohol. This is likely due to the dilation of blood vessels in the nose, resulting in mucus production and nasal symptoms. This would be classified as a form of non-allergic rhinitis.
Non-allergic Rhinitis
Some people experience symptoms of nasal congestion, runny nose and sneezing after the consumption of alcohol. This is likely due to the dilation of blood vessels in the nose, resulting in mucus production and nasal symptoms. This would be classified as a form of non-allergic rhinitis.
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
ive just spent an entire hour reading an old journal of mine. i cant believe i took SUCH a long time to get over this boy i used to date briefly. the time i spent getting over him outweighs the time we spent together, drastically. now, i read through all the beautiful and heart wrenching posts that ive dedicated solely to him and think to myself, "what the hell was wrong with me?"
anyway, one of my favourite lines found from a random post, "the most commonly used word in love letters is, "miss", not "love". so very true."
anyway, one of my favourite lines found from a random post, "the most commonly used word in love letters is, "miss", not "love". so very true."
Sunday, July 10, 2011
Friday, July 8, 2011
since i am pocket-sized, i believe that the surface area of my head is slightly smaller than average, so why do i get random crap falling on my head all the time? probability is whacked and not logical in this case. bird shit is NOTHING to me, i got a gigantic lizard plopping down nicely on the center of my crowing glory before. and today, a pantyliner. a very large (and possibly uncomfortable) piece of pantyliner to be exact. fucking hell man. whoever who threw that down, may the thrush be with you.
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
i finally got a place in shoreditch, near old street. thing is, my housemate will only return about 2 weeks after i reach london. which means, i have to lug my 30kg luggage to go collect the keys to an empty apartment and buy a fucking mattress on the same day. i pray that the previous tenant left ALL her furniture there. if not, i am doomed.
Friday, July 1, 2011
Sunday, June 26, 2011
so friday, i got pretty pissed drunk. less drunk than that embarrassing night at lantern (not going into details), but more drunk than what i would allow myself to be. having only 4 hours of sleep the night before, i reached home after too much wine at robertson, sat down on my bed and the next thing i knew, it was 5am in the morning. i bolted up and started freaking out because i forgot to remove my make-up. i have committed the cardinal sin of sleeping with my make-up on, but strangely, my skin looked fine. a tiny pimple i had before even disappeared.
my week had been super busy and somewhat fruitful. i kinda got myself a housemate. kinda, because we havent got a place to stay yet. most of my friends advised be to stuff myself silly with as much local food as possible because there is only so much kebab you can eat and beans on toast is not a meal. /:
i think i will miss laksa and popiah the most.
my week had been super busy and somewhat fruitful. i kinda got myself a housemate. kinda, because we havent got a place to stay yet. most of my friends advised be to stuff myself silly with as much local food as possible because there is only so much kebab you can eat and beans on toast is not a meal. /:
i think i will miss laksa and popiah the most.
Monday, June 20, 2011
Sunday, June 19, 2011
a bit of a long shot, but does anyone have/know of people renting out rooms around notting hill/kensington/east london area? looking to rent for min 6 months. preferably non-smoking housemates, or at least no smoking in the house. pets are okay. comfortable with international housemates. females preferred. please drop me an email with pictures, thanks!! (:
Saturday, June 18, 2011
ive been told, sometimes people just need to find their own reasons to hate you because they cant deal with their own feelings. such a shame.
Friday, June 17, 2011
Thursday, June 16, 2011
and even if this heart collapses, i know i can stand by you.
always my pillar of trust.
always my pillar of trust.
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
this entire week has been insane. in fact, this entire month has been the craziest month ive ever had. all these moving paperwork, accommodation, to-do lists, to-meet lists, work and love have been killing me. im terrible at multi-tasking, even worse at juggling. ive been constantly trying to pull my life together but somehow, something just has to fuck up. well, not something, most things are fucked up right now, for example, my accommodation. anyone needs a housemate? someone who doesnt mind trying all the food that i am going to attempt to cook, will be great.
today was kind of slow moving because i zoned out a lot after a presumably good friend of mine gave me a slap in the face. not literally, but the words used could possibly be worse than a slap. i dont usually give two hoots about all the he said she said but this time, no. words mean a lot to me especially from people who matter. i always try to bite my tongue and think twice before saying anything, especially in the heat of anger because i dont want to regret anything after. similarly, i dont appreciate people blowing their top at me. i thought i was short tempered but today i felt like the calmest person. also, i hate instant messaging because you cannot convey feelings across, emotions get left behind and people assume. assumptions destroy.
because of the twist of events, i ended up stuffing my face with tofu salad with my colleagues for dinner instead of being at some pre-party for echelon 2011 where i probably wont know anyone or anything that was going on. i met shin again and at that point of time i felt this urge to ask him to do my tarot reading. i know i shouldnt, plus i dont even believe in things like that. i scoff at astrology and find them ridiculous. but recently i just felt like i needed to know what i should do. however ridiculous it is.
sometimes, i think that only a handful of people really know me. off hand, i can count about 3 definite ones. none of the 3 were my ex lovers, sadly. ive been told that im flaky, practical, cold, and today, a new one, fair-weathered. well, eventually i still come back to knowing that i dont need to prove anything to anyone. i just wish people would stop pretending like they know me. people form impressions of each other the first few times they meet and chances are, that perception is never gonna change. despite how close you are, that perception is buried together with all the new memories you create together. and in the end, its gonna veer its head out and go, "i told you so."
today was kind of slow moving because i zoned out a lot after a presumably good friend of mine gave me a slap in the face. not literally, but the words used could possibly be worse than a slap. i dont usually give two hoots about all the he said she said but this time, no. words mean a lot to me especially from people who matter. i always try to bite my tongue and think twice before saying anything, especially in the heat of anger because i dont want to regret anything after. similarly, i dont appreciate people blowing their top at me. i thought i was short tempered but today i felt like the calmest person. also, i hate instant messaging because you cannot convey feelings across, emotions get left behind and people assume. assumptions destroy.
because of the twist of events, i ended up stuffing my face with tofu salad with my colleagues for dinner instead of being at some pre-party for echelon 2011 where i probably wont know anyone or anything that was going on. i met shin again and at that point of time i felt this urge to ask him to do my tarot reading. i know i shouldnt, plus i dont even believe in things like that. i scoff at astrology and find them ridiculous. but recently i just felt like i needed to know what i should do. however ridiculous it is.
sometimes, i think that only a handful of people really know me. off hand, i can count about 3 definite ones. none of the 3 were my ex lovers, sadly. ive been told that im flaky, practical, cold, and today, a new one, fair-weathered. well, eventually i still come back to knowing that i dont need to prove anything to anyone. i just wish people would stop pretending like they know me. people form impressions of each other the first few times they meet and chances are, that perception is never gonna change. despite how close you are, that perception is buried together with all the new memories you create together. and in the end, its gonna veer its head out and go, "i told you so."
Sunday, June 5, 2011
as september nears, i find myself withdrawing from everyone closest to me. what if i cannot deal with goodbyes? im scared. and im also a coward. the further i go means the less it will hurt. right? all of them who matter the most, place their hopes for me at the highest peak. what if im not who they think i am? so i tell myself, there cannot be any "what if-s". i will be back, golden. i promise.
Monday, May 30, 2011
with reference to my previous post, Calvin Klein underwear is having a storewide 20%! i absolutely love their lingerie, super comfy! there were still nice designs at the raffles city outlet when i went last weekend, you should go check it out.
anyway, kept forgetting to tell you guys about this really awesome Murad primer ive been using daily. kept slipping my mind as ive been super super SUPER busy with work, the paperwork for moving and trying to meet everyone more often. when i went to bintan last weekend, its the only "make-up" item that i used together with my regular skincare and suncreen.

it works great to even out your skin tone. for regular day use, you can use in under your compact foundation or just dust loose powder over.

i really like the fact that the finish is matte, since most primers that glide on so easily tend to have a oily finish. for girls with drier skin, not to worry, they do have a dewy finish primer too, it has a slight shimmer which works better on dry skin as it gives a healthy sheen.

i love that Murad's hybrid range is actually skincare with a cosmetic effect, so it is formulated to treat skin problems. which is a plus point for me cus i believe that no amount of make-up can replace/compare to naturally good skin.

got this primer together with the eye lift illuminator and a trail kit from Murad's event at Mandarin Oriental the other day. good stuff, you can find them at:
BHG Bugis (tel: 6238-8475); Metro Paragon (tel: 6235-8379); Robinson Centrepoint (tel: 6887-4583) & TARA apothecary (tel: 6226-3963
anyway, kept forgetting to tell you guys about this really awesome Murad primer ive been using daily. kept slipping my mind as ive been super super SUPER busy with work, the paperwork for moving and trying to meet everyone more often. when i went to bintan last weekend, its the only "make-up" item that i used together with my regular skincare and suncreen.
it works great to even out your skin tone. for regular day use, you can use in under your compact foundation or just dust loose powder over.

i really like the fact that the finish is matte, since most primers that glide on so easily tend to have a oily finish. for girls with drier skin, not to worry, they do have a dewy finish primer too, it has a slight shimmer which works better on dry skin as it gives a healthy sheen.

i love that Murad's hybrid range is actually skincare with a cosmetic effect, so it is formulated to treat skin problems. which is a plus point for me cus i believe that no amount of make-up can replace/compare to naturally good skin.

got this primer together with the eye lift illuminator and a trail kit from Murad's event at Mandarin Oriental the other day. good stuff, you can find them at:
BHG Bugis (tel: 6238-8475); Metro Paragon (tel: 6235-8379); Robinson Centrepoint (tel: 6887-4583) & TARA apothecary (tel: 6226-3963
Sunday, May 22, 2011
since i only have 30kg luggage limit, i made a mental list of my priorities:
1) my entire stash of skincare/beauty products
2) lingerie (impt, please help if you can! do they have size differences? im looking at specific brands, CK and triumph.)
3) most shoes
4) laptop
5) most accessories
6) some bags
7) my favourite clothing
8) er, clothes steamer and rice cooker
9) maybe a cookbook if i have space
somehow it doesnt seem very comprehensive, i think i might have left something (or more) out. /:
im not a very good when it comes to prioritsing/packing.
1) my entire stash of skincare/beauty products
2) lingerie (impt, please help if you can! do they have size differences? im looking at specific brands, CK and triumph.)
3) most shoes
4) laptop
5) most accessories
6) some bags
7) my favourite clothing
8) er, clothes steamer and rice cooker
9) maybe a cookbook if i have space
somehow it doesnt seem very comprehensive, i think i might have left something (or more) out. /:
im not a very good when it comes to prioritsing/packing.
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Monday, May 9, 2011
the right thing is always the most difficult thing to do.
but if its the right thing, why do i feel so miserable inside?
but if its the right thing, why do i feel so miserable inside?
Sunday, May 8, 2011
tonight, Mr Chiam See Tong will cease to have a seat in parliament. we have lost a political hero who truly loves Singapore, truly loves Singaporeans. he will always have my greatest respect.
Monday, May 2, 2011
"Obama Bin Laden is dead." Yes, that was the headline on Fox News. Apparently their production team is exactly as stupid as we thought!" - Derek Blasberg
Sunday, May 1, 2011
with the election fever going on and so many rallies to watch, here are a couple of points i pondered over/have realised.
1) this GRC thing is annoying because i believe we should vote based on one's merit's. it is unfair and biased when it has to come to a point where voters have to choose, how much does my support for XXX overshadow my dislike for XXX. it is worth it to vote for the passionate and caring XXX knowing that the not-so-deserving XXX is in the same party?
2) there is no such thing as a "cooler" party to support. unfortunately, some of the gen-y voters who dont really care but still want to be involved, are just taking sides because of peer influence. i'd rather you continue being ignorant and forgo your vote, rather than randomly pick a party to "support" because of your friends support them. this is not a shopping trip where you'd ask your friends which pair of jeans make your butt look less fat. this is your vote, your choice. listen to all the candidates speeches, look at each of their merits and what they can do for your neighbourhood, your country. decide for yourself.
3) social media is very powerful, not only in providing timely updates, but also very effective in swaying opinions.
4) everyone has different views on politics, just like religion. it is okay to share your views, but dont shove it down someone's throat.
that said, i was really looking forward to voting for the first time, but alas, i dont get a chance to vote. to all who can, please vote wisely.
oh, by the way, when discussing marriage, you must figure out if you see eye to eye on three things: sex, politics, and religion. now's a good time to test your marriage compatibility. (;
1) this GRC thing is annoying because i believe we should vote based on one's merit's. it is unfair and biased when it has to come to a point where voters have to choose, how much does my support for XXX overshadow my dislike for XXX. it is worth it to vote for the passionate and caring XXX knowing that the not-so-deserving XXX is in the same party?
2) there is no such thing as a "cooler" party to support. unfortunately, some of the gen-y voters who dont really care but still want to be involved, are just taking sides because of peer influence. i'd rather you continue being ignorant and forgo your vote, rather than randomly pick a party to "support" because of your friends support them. this is not a shopping trip where you'd ask your friends which pair of jeans make your butt look less fat. this is your vote, your choice. listen to all the candidates speeches, look at each of their merits and what they can do for your neighbourhood, your country. decide for yourself.
3) social media is very powerful, not only in providing timely updates, but also very effective in swaying opinions.
4) everyone has different views on politics, just like religion. it is okay to share your views, but dont shove it down someone's throat.
that said, i was really looking forward to voting for the first time, but alas, i dont get a chance to vote. to all who can, please vote wisely.
oh, by the way, when discussing marriage, you must figure out if you see eye to eye on three things: sex, politics, and religion. now's a good time to test your marriage compatibility. (;
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
after 1 face-to-face interview, 1 essay test and 1 phone interview, i finally got into where i wanted to go. london, wait for me.
Friday, April 22, 2011
Sunday, April 17, 2011
you have no idea how grateful i am for the weekends. saturday shenanigans with the saturday gang.




long weekend for the next two consecutive weeks! i want to go somewhere!




long weekend for the next two consecutive weeks! i want to go somewhere!
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
OMG. ive been so busy at work that i dont even have time to clear the weeds over at littlecosm these days. sometimes, i even forget to visit the washroom until my bladder is on the verge of bursting. when i reach home, my brain automatically becomes confetti; shredded, used and useless. yesterday, i was taking my meds and i sort of forgot which pill i already took, so i just had one of each again. during the boring train ride home just now, i realised, im not sure if the laptop i use every single day at work is a macbook pro or a macbook air. i have a feeling the fever sort of destroyed some parts of my brain. i think i might need chicken essence or something more potent. like a beer.
Thursday, April 7, 2011

today marks the first day i actually sat behind the wheel after getting my license quite a while back. it was traumatising for both me and my passenger. this had to be said.
Wednesday, April 6, 2011


will be doing a review on the peeling milk soon which will be shown in their facebook page.
HAVE YOU "LIKED" THEM YET? if you havent, well, you should! CLICK HERE!
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