sick

feeling sick with myself

hate this hate this hate this

shelf space

first things I want to buy once I start working.

the xkcd book.
both smbc books.
all the cyanide and happiness books.
one year subscription to the onion.

the fuck is it march??

annoying thing about wanting to donate to a kickstarter, when the product only gets released in a years time.. the fact that I dont know where I'll be in a years time. which address should I use. I cant even say which Singaporean address to use, as even thats tentative. =/

buying clothes for easter ball. a tux suit, bow tie and all. even a nice coat which would be lovely in this weather. just makes me wonder.. why I waited three years before I decided to get one. and how worth it will it be, knowing I'll only probably use it for another few months in the UK.

24500 words to go. 8 weeks till all my essays and research is due. assuming I start work on the 22nd of March, thats 4 weeks to write everything. 900 words a day? I could do that. But i wouldnt wanna leave it till that late. What with trials on the 22nd of April and 23rd. I really cant afford to.

Need a life plan. need a plan for after graduation. MFA would be nice. Graduate internship, and then a job. travelling europe. Still wanna see parts of scotland, ireland, brittany, cumbria, cornwall. hang around and volunteer with FRU or just for kids? whatever the hell for. whats that gonna do for my CV. apply for vac schemes and training contracts. yea,  guess. go to PNG with manperimma?? maybe. thats definitely on my to-do list.

sigh. Ive not lost my joiede vivre. Im just..in a state of thought. lots and lots of it. need to re-calibrate for my next move. not worried. i know i'll be fine.

also, i realise, a really bad question to ask me is "hows your story going?"cause i honestly wont remember which story idea ive talked to you about... though, to be fair, the answer will probably be the same, regardless.