I genuinely wonder if you're like this to everyone.
sheer unforgiving bitchiness. or was it a signal i gave you, you saw, this streak in me, perhaps, that bears abuse and insult.
or is there something about my lifestyle and personality, my philosophy of life so at odds with your paradigms and world view, you see me as a symbol of everything youre against, of something that must be put down, so as to justify your own decisions.
maybe its the way you were raised. or did the company you hung around find it endearing and reward you for it?
do you see it as a strength of character. to cast judgements, put down people, make insults based on the most superficial of matters.
and its gets hard to justify how the things you say can be meant to be funny.
it doesnt even pass off as banter. low, undisguised sarcasm.
i mean if someone is genuinely pleased with their mediocre results, wheres the humour in sarcastically praising him. if someone floats an opinion, theres no wit in rubbishing his idea based on the country he's from. if someone is unaware of a particular pronunciation, what joy do you get in mimicking the mispronunciation.
its a profoundly small-minded immaturity and arrogance passing off as intelligence.
i wish i had the power to open people's minds, without having to force them to listen. i dont, of course.
i have the patience though. to keep trying. until they do.
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Friday, November 26, 2010
in defence of the merlions
I am a Singaporean. A singaporean motherson. Born and bred in the city-state. Proud of my roots, our founding story. Merdeka, merger, separation, independence. Ive got the national flag pinned up above my bed, and when filling in forms which ask me whats my ethnicity, I generally reply "Others" and fill in the words "Singaporean" in the blank.
My family's roots in the region runs deep, and I'm proud of the fact. the crescent moon and stars is a recurring theme in my collection of doodles. Ive served some time of my life in the army, and I recognize that the ORD is the beginning, not the end, of the service I shall owe my nation.
this country's my home, i havent got any other. its a place where im free to act as a private citizen, without the fear of being persecuted. it grants me the freedom of speech to say what I feel in public to people around me, and I genuinely believe in the free, open democratic nature of my government. and for all these liberties and protections, im grateful.
having said that, i now come to the story of the polo boys and their patriotic trunks. i first read about it on redsports.sg, a local online sporting journal, and i was pretty damn thrilled. what an awesome pair of trunks! finally! something truly Singaporean that would stand out in the world, at multi-national sporting competitions. for too long have we gone without a real signature emblem, a real eye-catching logo that shouts "oi!" to the world and lets them know where we are from.
not to put down the attires of our other sports teams. Im a huge fan of the Orchid on the rugby jersey, and not too opposed to the lion-head that took over. and the national flag on our national team's football jersey isnt that bad, though to be honest, rather uninspired. (Im just saying; the warwick university singapore society football logo is really miles ahead in terms of creativity and design.)
but the moon and the stars.. yes! for me, that really does it. its the one thing thats really what makes our flag, our flag. unmistakable. it has to be, the one, the only, the lion city, temasek, singapura, Singapore City, Singapore. these trunks were gonna start a revolution. they were gonna change the way we designed everything! i could see it all unfolding in my mind.
i dont care how ugly it might have been to some people. people will have opinions, and opinions split. to me, though, it seemed undeniable, that these trunks were singaporean in the most proud and unembarrassed of ways. the tabloids are free to say what they want, debate and rant. whatever, i thought. the trunks were cool.
and then I had to read about MICA's official statement, in the BBC, and a wave of disappointment swept through me.
For a government ministry to criticize the design of our national team's uniform was just sad. especially an outfit so loud and proudly nationalistic. i felt embarrassed. it just seemed unnecessary and uncalled for. it seems like a rather knee jerk defensive response by MICA to disassociate themselves from the polo team, and an unfair condemnation on the design. really, i just feel that MICA should have more important things to do, and the impression that is being given to the world at large, is that Singapore is such an oppressed state, that even the slightest of matters, such as the national polo team's trunks, is required to be vetted and approved by the Ministry.
which is not true. I refuse to believe we are a nanny state. it shouldnt be the case. we are a mature modern society. i'm just very sad when this article becomes the first thing that appears in my google news feed for "Singapore".
but whats really got to me, was the grounds on which MICA condemned the outfit: this idea that the elements of the flag were not treated with dignity. and really the implications of this, is that its gonna discourage people from using the flag creatively. its just hindering people from expressing their patriotism in one more way. which is something i really dont want to happen.
you see, identity is a huge part of patriotism. and i see it every time I travel the world. the tri-colour of the ethiopian flag as a wristband. the french tri-colour as bandanas. the union jack as bikinis, the australian flag as towels, the colours of the indian flag colours in a turban, the stars and stripes on iPhone covers. national flags are embraced and loved all over the world. its being celebrated and used by people to show their pride and heritage. but you cant do that if your afraid your gonna be breaking the law by accidentally using the flag in an "inappropriate" or "undignified" manner.
I mean look at Australia. you see their flag everywhere. on tshirts, floor mats, umbrellas, car decals, tongs, its all over the place. but just because your using the national flag to dry yourself, or your stepping all over it, doesnt mean your disrespecting it. on the contrary it shows how much your in love with your country, that you want to don its colours in every conceivable form.
and i want this to happen in singapore. i want the crescent moon and the stars on belt buckles, on towel racks, as bandanas, singlets, FBTs, whatever. I want people to be allowed to wear the flag however they please, and not leave it up on a pedestal, sacred and inaccessible. not something that we only see during August, then hide the rest of the year in our bomb shelter/ store rooms. We were going in the right direction by allowing cars to fly mini flags. but why stop there?
the obvious place for this revolution to start is in the sporting scene. and as identifiable as the flags of certain countries are, are the national jerseys of their teams. the silver fern on the all blacks, the three lions on England's football jersey, and the rose on their rugby kit. it doesnt matter that new zealand or england didnt win the world cup. people still wear their country's colours and thats patriotism. helped by the fact that their uniforms were unique and identifiable.
and thats what the polo boys' uniform was. identifiable. not a plain all red top like the Singapore Lions. too many countries in the world have red in their flags and use the colour on their jerseys. look no further than Indonesia. I remember when I was relief teaching and students were allowed to wear a red top to school. And they did. boys wearing the jerseys of liverpool, arsenal, manchester united, and even Spain. I know it sounds like im digressing, but all these issues are inter-related.
the polo boys achieved something unique and impactful. good intentioned, bold, adventurous, its what we need as a society.
and what we need is more liberalization. not more measures to keep use of our national symbols in check. more freedom to play with ALL our national symbols: the orchid, the lion head, the moon and stars. more flexibility in expression, and a greater willingness by the authorities to accept its usage.
I know that being patriotic isnt the coolest thing in Singapore, and if liberalization were to occur, not everyones gonna start rushing to shops to buy a set of red and white tees and jeans. but at least those who do want to, wont have to feel worried about disrespecting the very country, they love and celebrate.
xx
rishik
My family's roots in the region runs deep, and I'm proud of the fact. the crescent moon and stars is a recurring theme in my collection of doodles. Ive served some time of my life in the army, and I recognize that the ORD is the beginning, not the end, of the service I shall owe my nation.
this country's my home, i havent got any other. its a place where im free to act as a private citizen, without the fear of being persecuted. it grants me the freedom of speech to say what I feel in public to people around me, and I genuinely believe in the free, open democratic nature of my government. and for all these liberties and protections, im grateful.
having said that, i now come to the story of the polo boys and their patriotic trunks. i first read about it on redsports.sg, a local online sporting journal, and i was pretty damn thrilled. what an awesome pair of trunks! finally! something truly Singaporean that would stand out in the world, at multi-national sporting competitions. for too long have we gone without a real signature emblem, a real eye-catching logo that shouts "oi!" to the world and lets them know where we are from.
not to put down the attires of our other sports teams. Im a huge fan of the Orchid on the rugby jersey, and not too opposed to the lion-head that took over. and the national flag on our national team's football jersey isnt that bad, though to be honest, rather uninspired. (Im just saying; the warwick university singapore society football logo is really miles ahead in terms of creativity and design.)
but the moon and the stars.. yes! for me, that really does it. its the one thing thats really what makes our flag, our flag. unmistakable. it has to be, the one, the only, the lion city, temasek, singapura, Singapore City, Singapore. these trunks were gonna start a revolution. they were gonna change the way we designed everything! i could see it all unfolding in my mind.
i dont care how ugly it might have been to some people. people will have opinions, and opinions split. to me, though, it seemed undeniable, that these trunks were singaporean in the most proud and unembarrassed of ways. the tabloids are free to say what they want, debate and rant. whatever, i thought. the trunks were cool.
and then I had to read about MICA's official statement, in the BBC, and a wave of disappointment swept through me.
For a government ministry to criticize the design of our national team's uniform was just sad. especially an outfit so loud and proudly nationalistic. i felt embarrassed. it just seemed unnecessary and uncalled for. it seems like a rather knee jerk defensive response by MICA to disassociate themselves from the polo team, and an unfair condemnation on the design. really, i just feel that MICA should have more important things to do, and the impression that is being given to the world at large, is that Singapore is such an oppressed state, that even the slightest of matters, such as the national polo team's trunks, is required to be vetted and approved by the Ministry.
which is not true. I refuse to believe we are a nanny state. it shouldnt be the case. we are a mature modern society. i'm just very sad when this article becomes the first thing that appears in my google news feed for "Singapore".
but whats really got to me, was the grounds on which MICA condemned the outfit: this idea that the elements of the flag were not treated with dignity. and really the implications of this, is that its gonna discourage people from using the flag creatively. its just hindering people from expressing their patriotism in one more way. which is something i really dont want to happen.
you see, identity is a huge part of patriotism. and i see it every time I travel the world. the tri-colour of the ethiopian flag as a wristband. the french tri-colour as bandanas. the union jack as bikinis, the australian flag as towels, the colours of the indian flag colours in a turban, the stars and stripes on iPhone covers. national flags are embraced and loved all over the world. its being celebrated and used by people to show their pride and heritage. but you cant do that if your afraid your gonna be breaking the law by accidentally using the flag in an "inappropriate" or "undignified" manner.
I mean look at Australia. you see their flag everywhere. on tshirts, floor mats, umbrellas, car decals, tongs, its all over the place. but just because your using the national flag to dry yourself, or your stepping all over it, doesnt mean your disrespecting it. on the contrary it shows how much your in love with your country, that you want to don its colours in every conceivable form.
and i want this to happen in singapore. i want the crescent moon and the stars on belt buckles, on towel racks, as bandanas, singlets, FBTs, whatever. I want people to be allowed to wear the flag however they please, and not leave it up on a pedestal, sacred and inaccessible. not something that we only see during August, then hide the rest of the year in our bomb shelter/ store rooms. We were going in the right direction by allowing cars to fly mini flags. but why stop there?
the obvious place for this revolution to start is in the sporting scene. and as identifiable as the flags of certain countries are, are the national jerseys of their teams. the silver fern on the all blacks, the three lions on England's football jersey, and the rose on their rugby kit. it doesnt matter that new zealand or england didnt win the world cup. people still wear their country's colours and thats patriotism. helped by the fact that their uniforms were unique and identifiable.
and thats what the polo boys' uniform was. identifiable. not a plain all red top like the Singapore Lions. too many countries in the world have red in their flags and use the colour on their jerseys. look no further than Indonesia. I remember when I was relief teaching and students were allowed to wear a red top to school. And they did. boys wearing the jerseys of liverpool, arsenal, manchester united, and even Spain. I know it sounds like im digressing, but all these issues are inter-related.
the polo boys achieved something unique and impactful. good intentioned, bold, adventurous, its what we need as a society.
and what we need is more liberalization. not more measures to keep use of our national symbols in check. more freedom to play with ALL our national symbols: the orchid, the lion head, the moon and stars. more flexibility in expression, and a greater willingness by the authorities to accept its usage.
I know that being patriotic isnt the coolest thing in Singapore, and if liberalization were to occur, not everyones gonna start rushing to shops to buy a set of red and white tees and jeans. but at least those who do want to, wont have to feel worried about disrespecting the very country, they love and celebrate.
xx
rishik
Sunday, November 07, 2010
Avec vous le Virgin mobile recharge?
rock bottom motivation
what do you wanna do with your life?
think rishik think
gotta be something
just
look around your room
clean enough.
maybe laundry
no,
thats not what i meant
i mean.
big picture. long term
(...)
nothing.
travel? no, no. i mean: productive. creative.
werent you gonna write some poems?
and a few essays?
whatever happened to those ideas.
your long walks arnt doing it for you anymore, my man. minute you come home, all you do is go online and get lost in the lives of everyone else.
need to focus. thats what you need. not another exile. this time its gotta come from within.
go to the library. gita's right. it helps.
and talk to people. stop ignoring text messages!
its pathetic. why are you so lazy?
clean up, shape up
caffeine and sugar can stay
all other indulgences will have to go
starting when?
woah. tough call here.
next week? i dunno.
will I change my mind again?
starting now. yes. lets do this. but but.. hmmm..
yeaa. starting now. do your best. just see how it goes.
what else though?
running and gyming? keep it up boy. stay healthy.
keep that heart pumping. doesnt matter what people say about you being skinny.
or about running and losing weight.
your not doing this for anyone else. youve got nothing to prove.
I'm gonna become my own perfect body. I'll do it. block out negativity.
what about saving money? its soo.. difficult.
well don't. but only spend money on important things.
like food. and stationery. anything to make doing work easier.
if its a small comfort to keep me less distracted, then buy it.
it'll be worth while in the long run.
live high and fall free.
im a law student.
on the pursuit of happiness.
I tell you now, world. i aint gonna fuck this up.
breathe easy, boy. you're uncool. and skinny. and making a mess of your studies.
but your smart enough to sort this out.
starting next week?
no. now.
next timecheck? 18th november. contract law essay due.
I wanna hear all about how youve turned things around by then, hear?
a proper plan, maybe some intellectually stimulating commentaries on the nature of photography, gay rights or nationality and ethnicity.
a poem or two. and post some pretty pictures of Europe while you're at it.
no questions? good. now off to bed, young man. its gonna be a long day ahead.
what do you wanna do with your life?
think rishik think
gotta be something
just
look around your room
clean enough.
maybe laundry
no,
thats not what i meant
i mean.
big picture. long term
(...)
nothing.
travel? no, no. i mean: productive. creative.
werent you gonna write some poems?
and a few essays?
whatever happened to those ideas.
your long walks arnt doing it for you anymore, my man. minute you come home, all you do is go online and get lost in the lives of everyone else.
need to focus. thats what you need. not another exile. this time its gotta come from within.
go to the library. gita's right. it helps.
and talk to people. stop ignoring text messages!
its pathetic. why are you so lazy?
clean up, shape up
caffeine and sugar can stay
all other indulgences will have to go
starting when?
woah. tough call here.
next week? i dunno.
will I change my mind again?
starting now. yes. lets do this. but but.. hmmm..
yeaa. starting now. do your best. just see how it goes.
what else though?
running and gyming? keep it up boy. stay healthy.
keep that heart pumping. doesnt matter what people say about you being skinny.
or about running and losing weight.
your not doing this for anyone else. youve got nothing to prove.
I'm gonna become my own perfect body. I'll do it. block out negativity.
what about saving money? its soo.. difficult.
well don't. but only spend money on important things.
like food. and stationery. anything to make doing work easier.
if its a small comfort to keep me less distracted, then buy it.
it'll be worth while in the long run.
live high and fall free.
im a law student.
on the pursuit of happiness.
I tell you now, world. i aint gonna fuck this up.
breathe easy, boy. you're uncool. and skinny. and making a mess of your studies.
but your smart enough to sort this out.
starting next week?
no. now.
next timecheck? 18th november. contract law essay due.
I wanna hear all about how youve turned things around by then, hear?
a proper plan, maybe some intellectually stimulating commentaries on the nature of photography, gay rights or nationality and ethnicity.
a poem or two. and post some pretty pictures of Europe while you're at it.
no questions? good. now off to bed, young man. its gonna be a long day ahead.
Monday, November 01, 2010
avoiding work by typing
i honestly cant remember if ive done a similar rant/post like this before.
but well. here it goes anyway.
i feel anti-social (maybe i should post on facebook?)
i dont wanna keep up with these lives around me.
im tired.
i just wanna be with my family.
quiet. accepting. family.
im done with friendships. they dont last. never have. think back rishik.
primary school friends?
secondary school friends?
junior college friends?
its over. move on.
i dont believe in long distance.
long distance friendships.
but family. i believe in. its not a relationship. its an absolute.
its a state.
a moleculor bond. or the other one. i cant remember.
and cant be bothered to check it up.
you see, i gave up on chemistry 5 years ago, when it broke my heart.
but thats not what this post is about.
or maybe... itis. isit? yes.
think back, rishik.
how was I happy in...
primary school? friends.
secondary school? friends.
junior college? friends.
its true. mediocre at sport, music, drama, studies, i kept going purely for social reasons.
i over committed for the thrill of being around people
inadvertently (i think) the best of me was brought out due to the friends i lived my life around
and well.. somewhere along the line, things turned strange, and i became a solitary kinda man.
a little less dependent.
a little faster on the track
a little less eloquent, from not having to explain my strange dreams and philosophies to people
and see, back then, in the army, and even in australia. i had my family.
and it seems like right now.
cooking, listening to music, long showers, and afternoon naps are really doing it for me.
and im loving this intoxicated state of liberty a little too much.
but this isnt who im meant to be. and without family or motivation.
im worried.
and to be honest,
some nights, listening to music? it gets you lonely.
and i wish i had someone to listen to music with.
or hold and not speak to. just like in those damn dashboard confessional songs.
but she doesnt exist. or maybe she doesnt know I do.
so can someone please tell me.
how is it done?
have i forgotten? how to make friends, i mean.
or, having tasted perfection, have my expectations
for companionship skyrocketed beyond the market
or maybe has my own value and worth led to my fall from
the market i previously considered myself worthy
after all I am.
mediocre at sport, music, drama, studies...
not the best at what I do, not very funny, eloquent
valiantly poetic, my philosophies too radical to share
my stories too personal, my dreams too long-winded
this aint school, where you sit with the same people during lectures, where you work out tutorials together.
this requires a little more effort, than joining the same societies or taking the same bus home.
and when you walk to school, are always late, dont join any societies, and are too damn poor to go out for lunch/dinner you really have to put yourself a little bit more out there to get close to people.
a little bit more out there?
really?
but its soo much more comfortable here, though
cooking, listening to music, reading, sleeping and taking long showers.
i'll face reality next weekend.
only breakfast can save me now.
but well. here it goes anyway.
i feel anti-social (maybe i should post on facebook?)
i dont wanna keep up with these lives around me.
im tired.
i just wanna be with my family.
quiet. accepting. family.
im done with friendships. they dont last. never have. think back rishik.
primary school friends?
secondary school friends?
junior college friends?
its over. move on.
i dont believe in long distance.
long distance friendships.
but family. i believe in. its not a relationship. its an absolute.
its a state.
a moleculor bond. or the other one. i cant remember.
and cant be bothered to check it up.
you see, i gave up on chemistry 5 years ago, when it broke my heart.
but thats not what this post is about.
or maybe... itis. isit? yes.
think back, rishik.
how was I happy in...
primary school? friends.
secondary school? friends.
junior college? friends.
its true. mediocre at sport, music, drama, studies, i kept going purely for social reasons.
i over committed for the thrill of being around people
inadvertently (i think) the best of me was brought out due to the friends i lived my life around
and well.. somewhere along the line, things turned strange, and i became a solitary kinda man.
a little less dependent.
a little faster on the track
a little less eloquent, from not having to explain my strange dreams and philosophies to people
and see, back then, in the army, and even in australia. i had my family.
and it seems like right now.
cooking, listening to music, long showers, and afternoon naps are really doing it for me.
and im loving this intoxicated state of liberty a little too much.
but this isnt who im meant to be. and without family or motivation.
im worried.
and to be honest,
some nights, listening to music? it gets you lonely.
and i wish i had someone to listen to music with.
or hold and not speak to. just like in those damn dashboard confessional songs.
but she doesnt exist. or maybe she doesnt know I do.
so can someone please tell me.
how is it done?
have i forgotten? how to make friends, i mean.
or, having tasted perfection, have my expectations
for companionship skyrocketed beyond the market
or maybe has my own value and worth led to my fall from
the market i previously considered myself worthy
after all I am.
mediocre at sport, music, drama, studies...
not the best at what I do, not very funny, eloquent
valiantly poetic, my philosophies too radical to share
my stories too personal, my dreams too long-winded
this aint school, where you sit with the same people during lectures, where you work out tutorials together.
this requires a little more effort, than joining the same societies or taking the same bus home.
and when you walk to school, are always late, dont join any societies, and are too damn poor to go out for lunch/dinner you really have to put yourself a little bit more out there to get close to people.
a little bit more out there?
really?
but its soo much more comfortable here, though
cooking, listening to music, reading, sleeping and taking long showers.
i'll face reality next weekend.
only breakfast can save me now.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)