constantine maroulis?

This is a story of listening to advice from bad dreams and
feeling a blurring between imagination and memory.


Forgive my past so I dont ruin my present.


silver ribbon project. go find out more if you can.


"your such a grateful boy!"
"why thank you!"

---

The things I do for conversation.
And the things I do when I dont feel like it.


Im off!

Live high

have you ever seen something so beautiful in your life!
oh wait, im sorry. i take that back. that was an invitation
to comparison. and quite frankly ive seen beauty all around me
for as long as i can recall. wow. butterflies at the window,
squirrels and mynahs playing, perhaps having a quarrel, below
that stouter than average, fun-sized angsana. oh i love it love love it.
wind chymes, water jets cleaning the condo's common area, a steady
muted tribal beat of construction piling and catching a kingfisher in the
same act of voyeaurism your currently indulging in. outstanding.

nails are wet after washing a bowl that was emptied to fill me
with the simple lightness of bread and luncheon meat. toes are dry
and toughened after years of neglect, and overwork, but propped
up on a bed meant for a sibling, both of whom live 9 hours away,
its getting all the rest it ever asks for; and it never asks for much.

he said 'take care', and hell am i taking care alright. my body, my
room, my mind. and ill help myself to some pride while im at it.
this zen is good, and im safe and secure and glad for it. my prime
driver has been satisfied i suppose, and now im relishing what was
always there. cant say im not spoilt. but im the best kind. the kind
that knows hes being spoilt and as a result appreciates everything
all the more tenderly. i know it i know it, and lord how i love it love it.

its gotten to my head. nostalgia, dreams and the love for long walks.
independence was over-rated but you had the idea all wrong, friends.
it not the cash to go, or the time to let go. well then again. maybe time
is right, but then get me wrong bout the idea of letting go. all i mean
is..lepak? chillax. no dont allocate a time for it to happen. it just makes
its own time, see? its not traveling all the way to some starbucks or beach-
park. its in between the freaking trips between work and home, and
just before you got to bed and realize you have 2 hours to spare and
no more work can be done for the night. lets take another bath. and
watch a movie. cash-easy, live easy. smell good, feel good, keep talking
and going out, and everything has fallen into place. we dont want a revolution.
not tonight anyway.