off for taiwan tomorrow.
for some reason im thinking bout gar goei. and mr bala. and kiran and aiysha. and ziko.
grateful for the life ive lived? no doubt.
but troubled by how im living it these days.
am i not cool enough
for your rock and roll
could i say something smarter then?
learn a few big words
or cut this voluble streak
even as i stutter
its feeling much too weak
such so, its feeling pointless
and if I just aint funny
and Im just too weird
my hopes are too damn large
for luck to pull me through
its sure not fair to say
that seems like im left hanging
but how can I not say.
that now im simply
hanging...
---
coffee by copeland is a great song.
and my current favourite book remains Jonathan Strange and Mr Norrel.
God of Small Things does come a close second though.
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Saturday, September 20, 2008
R is for restlessness. revolution. red eyes. Rickshaws.
Hearing about the cancellation of the talk on tamil in the speakers corner is one of those things that just gets me mad. It was something I really wanted to go for, had book out time permitted. And now im mad.
And this is not simply for the sake of argument, or because Im an advocate of free speach. But because the issue itself is something I agree with, and speaks to my heart.
I mean just how ridiculous is that. That we have signboards in singapore. Which have three out of 4 of our national languages. and a fourth language, Japanese. Does anyone else see this as a huge joke. Im driving down the ECP, I see a bigass brown sign, for tourist attractions like the Changi Chapel and Museum. There it is. In English. Chinese. Malay. Japanese. Ahhh. Right. Of course. That about effectively covers every major language speaking group in Singapore. I mean. Fair enough you might get more Japanese tourists visiting the chapel than Tamil-speakers. But really. Am i missing something out?? Cause your still putting Chinese and Malay. And so I REALLY want to know... is there ANY basis for believing that you'll get more malay or chinese speaking visitors than tamil-speakers? REALLY??
but its not that, that got me mad. Its the fact that the rally about it, (just a fucking talk, a chance for discourse and discussion, a time to share and understand and hear more viewpoints) was cancelled! on what grounds?? I really dont know. Didnt read yesterdays paper. But it had somethign to do with race.
And just how racists is that.
That they believe only Indians care about this gross inconsistency in the treatment of tamil.
That this is going to build up racial hostility??
Maybe, just maybe, other races too care about such matters.
Dont underestimate chinese, eurasians and malays.
Maybe they too care about our lack of consideration for one of our four official languages.
Maybe they too wonder and wish to discuss the fact that tamil is only an official language
as a fucking token gesture.
So just why is this a matter of race? How is this going to build up racial hostility??
I mean, hey hey hey. after all. its only the speakers corner. Its just people coming together to talk about an issue.
Unless you really feel that the reasons to feel suppressed are genuine. That there is reason to be concerned, that the Tamils of Singapore may find a case strong enough to rally together against the government. So is that it then? Do you agree that there IS reason to be concerned??
Cause thats the whole point of free speach. You have nothing to hide or fear, let it be discussed. And if there is something valid, then let it be addressed.
Sickening.
And then what made me really sad (after being mad) was reading this article today.
I was sad cause it came from an indian. That he agreed that the speech should not have taken place. Of course I dont expect all Indians to agree with the need for free speach. But the fact that this was the article that the straits times chose to publish just dissapointed me.
I expected more from Singapore.
I expected too much.
How did this happen?
And I spend so little of my time outside camp. But when I do come out this is what I read.
People praising the police for banning a perfectly reasonable talk on the Tamil language in singapore.
The police justifying why the WP may not organise cycling events but the PAP may.
So called reform about laws on political films, allowing 6 filsm, but with certain filsm suchs as "Singapore Rebel" being starkly missing.
I mean dammit. Its no reason why people enjoy being apathetic. It means not having to deal with all this bullshit, and just ignoring it... But its my city too, and I intend to make a difference.
I dont want this to always be about bread and butter. I need some basic rights and freedoms to be upheld as well.
....
and now to restore your faith in the world, a lovely little video I chanced upon.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V5BxymuiAxQ
. I do love this world. Just cant believe things take this long to change.
And this is not simply for the sake of argument, or because Im an advocate of free speach. But because the issue itself is something I agree with, and speaks to my heart.
I mean just how ridiculous is that. That we have signboards in singapore. Which have three out of 4 of our national languages. and a fourth language, Japanese. Does anyone else see this as a huge joke. Im driving down the ECP, I see a bigass brown sign, for tourist attractions like the Changi Chapel and Museum. There it is. In English. Chinese. Malay. Japanese. Ahhh. Right. Of course. That about effectively covers every major language speaking group in Singapore. I mean. Fair enough you might get more Japanese tourists visiting the chapel than Tamil-speakers. But really. Am i missing something out?? Cause your still putting Chinese and Malay. And so I REALLY want to know... is there ANY basis for believing that you'll get more malay or chinese speaking visitors than tamil-speakers? REALLY??
but its not that, that got me mad. Its the fact that the rally about it, (just a fucking talk, a chance for discourse and discussion, a time to share and understand and hear more viewpoints) was cancelled! on what grounds?? I really dont know. Didnt read yesterdays paper. But it had somethign to do with race.
And just how racists is that.
That they believe only Indians care about this gross inconsistency in the treatment of tamil.
That this is going to build up racial hostility??
Maybe, just maybe, other races too care about such matters.
Dont underestimate chinese, eurasians and malays.
Maybe they too care about our lack of consideration for one of our four official languages.
Maybe they too wonder and wish to discuss the fact that tamil is only an official language
as a fucking token gesture.
So just why is this a matter of race? How is this going to build up racial hostility??
I mean, hey hey hey. after all. its only the speakers corner. Its just people coming together to talk about an issue.
Unless you really feel that the reasons to feel suppressed are genuine. That there is reason to be concerned, that the Tamils of Singapore may find a case strong enough to rally together against the government. So is that it then? Do you agree that there IS reason to be concerned??
Cause thats the whole point of free speach. You have nothing to hide or fear, let it be discussed. And if there is something valid, then let it be addressed.
Sickening.
And then what made me really sad (after being mad) was reading this article today.
I was sad cause it came from an indian. That he agreed that the speech should not have taken place. Of course I dont expect all Indians to agree with the need for free speach. But the fact that this was the article that the straits times chose to publish just dissapointed me.
I expected more from Singapore.
I expected too much.
How did this happen?
And I spend so little of my time outside camp. But when I do come out this is what I read.
People praising the police for banning a perfectly reasonable talk on the Tamil language in singapore.
The police justifying why the WP may not organise cycling events but the PAP may.
So called reform about laws on political films, allowing 6 filsm, but with certain filsm suchs as "Singapore Rebel" being starkly missing.
I mean dammit. Its no reason why people enjoy being apathetic. It means not having to deal with all this bullshit, and just ignoring it... But its my city too, and I intend to make a difference.
I dont want this to always be about bread and butter. I need some basic rights and freedoms to be upheld as well.
....
and now to restore your faith in the world, a lovely little video I chanced upon.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V5BxymuiAxQ
. I do love this world. Just cant believe things take this long to change.
Friday, September 19, 2008
bodies decompossing in a container tonight
"with 15 cans of spray paint in a chemical swirl. "
long weekend. of sorts. And i appreciate it. mmmm.
had a nice talk with nigel (tan) the other day. dammit.
the flesh may age, but fucking hell, the spirit never dies.
I need to breathe more of that youth in. cant let my dreams just die down.
not just like that. not without a fucking fight.
cause being a realist doesnt mean you cant be hopeful.
----
leaving for taiwan next friday. Anna's returning to Singapore tomorrow.
claire's leaving for UK tomorrow.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rfz6QGmuvp4
---
you know what itslike. being in one of the government holiday chalets, right at the treshold of the jungle vegetation; the orchestra of insects start and rise with the night fall. so near, yet so far. like a zoo, still protected, but not quite, as you scratch the itch from a mosquito bite on your knuckle.
your there, but not quite. like sitting in an air conditioned car, cruising down the ECP, with the sun beating into your eyes. There, but not quite. nothing about the experience speaks to you about how humid you know its going to be the minute you leave the car. there but not quite, you know that these structures of denial are what makes you know your home.
forever sheltered. Those glass and metal buildings that look out into the city of other shiny glass and metal buildings, as the rain breaks its fall into its face. Not wanting to prolong its already powerless charge any longer.
always at the mercy to the environment. yet. never quite. i know youve felt it too. your there. but not quite.
and maybe its better that way.
--
"can you smell the storm coming??"
long weekend. of sorts. And i appreciate it. mmmm.
had a nice talk with nigel (tan) the other day. dammit.
the flesh may age, but fucking hell, the spirit never dies.
I need to breathe more of that youth in. cant let my dreams just die down.
not just like that. not without a fucking fight.
cause being a realist doesnt mean you cant be hopeful.
----
leaving for taiwan next friday. Anna's returning to Singapore tomorrow.
claire's leaving for UK tomorrow.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rfz6QGmuvp4
---
you know what itslike. being in one of the government holiday chalets, right at the treshold of the jungle vegetation; the orchestra of insects start and rise with the night fall. so near, yet so far. like a zoo, still protected, but not quite, as you scratch the itch from a mosquito bite on your knuckle.
your there, but not quite. like sitting in an air conditioned car, cruising down the ECP, with the sun beating into your eyes. There, but not quite. nothing about the experience speaks to you about how humid you know its going to be the minute you leave the car. there but not quite, you know that these structures of denial are what makes you know your home.
forever sheltered. Those glass and metal buildings that look out into the city of other shiny glass and metal buildings, as the rain breaks its fall into its face. Not wanting to prolong its already powerless charge any longer.
always at the mercy to the environment. yet. never quite. i know youve felt it too. your there. but not quite.
and maybe its better that way.
--
"can you smell the storm coming??"
Saturday, September 13, 2008
as powerful as a duck up an engine
some short poems ive been working on
---
He was
self righteous and defensive
such so
that he smacked the
aid who wanted to
do away with
harmless ants on the
stone table top.
when he found the troops
,later that day,
advancing into his bed
his swipe was as swift
as the judgements he
would pass in his heart.
how dare they...
imply he left food crumbs
for them to come after.
There Were No Food Crumbs
on the bed.
he was sure he dusted them off
this morning.
---
blowing bubbles
sitting on the roof
three thoughts floated across my mind.
1. would the tiles I sit on crack
2. why do i worry about what people think of me
3. will the ghost of the dead bubble ever reach the moon?
---
on some nights I see the real moon, in
national geographical glory
full with its crystal crater clarity
as a poster could have shown without doubt.
but the moon needs its off days too.
and thats when I see her
That naked orb, that light in the sky,
and oh how i could pluck it into my mouth
and taste those edges, as a coin,
almost 2-dimensional crispness.
orange or white
she is sexy with confidence
and bold revealing colours
tells me she's aware of my presence.
so she toys, maybe winks, a typical female,
she plays coy, giggling behind
transiting clouds that
serve her purpose
of making me stare
all the harder
at that
temp-orary
light.
and i wonder
if just maybe
what I truly desire
may simply be
another shadowless reflection.
---
and so
as if a challenge
to my perfect eyesight
the club rallied its lights
in a final neut
which skipped heart beats
by half beats
and i, disoriented,
conceded to the sight
of my feet
dischorded and undone
left foot over
then under right
and back...I lost
not my footing, but control
and so in such
disturbing terms and conditions
did I do the dance called
The Shuffle
---
still got a few more id like to share. but lets not over do it, shall we?
---
"So why's you say Hallelujah?? If it means nothing to yaa??"
Damien Rice, Delicate
---
He was
self righteous and defensive
such so
that he smacked the
aid who wanted to
do away with
harmless ants on the
stone table top.
when he found the troops
,later that day,
advancing into his bed
his swipe was as swift
as the judgements he
would pass in his heart.
how dare they...
imply he left food crumbs
for them to come after.
There Were No Food Crumbs
on the bed.
he was sure he dusted them off
this morning.
---
blowing bubbles
sitting on the roof
three thoughts floated across my mind.
1. would the tiles I sit on crack
2. why do i worry about what people think of me
3. will the ghost of the dead bubble ever reach the moon?
---
on some nights I see the real moon, in
national geographical glory
full with its crystal crater clarity
as a poster could have shown without doubt.
but the moon needs its off days too.
and thats when I see her
That naked orb, that light in the sky,
and oh how i could pluck it into my mouth
and taste those edges, as a coin,
almost 2-dimensional crispness.
orange or white
she is sexy with confidence
and bold revealing colours
tells me she's aware of my presence.
so she toys, maybe winks, a typical female,
she plays coy, giggling behind
transiting clouds that
serve her purpose
of making me stare
all the harder
at that
temp-orary
light.
and i wonder
if just maybe
what I truly desire
may simply be
another shadowless reflection.
---
and so
as if a challenge
to my perfect eyesight
the club rallied its lights
in a final neut
which skipped heart beats
by half beats
and i, disoriented,
conceded to the sight
of my feet
dischorded and undone
left foot over
then under right
and back...I lost
not my footing, but control
and so in such
disturbing terms and conditions
did I do the dance called
The Shuffle
---
still got a few more id like to share. but lets not over do it, shall we?
---
and so i have a new camera. =)
--
"I fear I wont see surprise. That Im not doubling back now"
Jason Mraz
"So why's you say Hallelujah?? If it means nothing to yaa??"
Damien Rice, Delicate
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)