variety is the spice of life
when i was sec4 there were two very clear options in my life for my future.
I would do a degree in either
Chemical engineering Or Theatre Studies.
Simple. I could do research with petrochemical companies. Or maybe act, and produce art events. Or teach chemistry AND theatre.
Thhings changed in JC 1. I dont know why. Something killed my love for chemistry. Something died. Something gave in. There were only two subjects keeping my attendance in school. KI and Lit.
I threw in as many options as possible. Nafa. Lasalle. Journalism. I always wanted to do journalism. But I didnt need a degree to do that. Maybe arts management. Maybe australia. Maybe CJC. Maybe become an intern. maybe this. maybe that...there were too many uncertainties. My life could have flung in any direction at that point.
Next thing I knew, I was doing an all arts combi. Besides my love for the simplicity of Maths, I even gave THAT up, so i could have more time with the humanities. Away at once with chemical engineering and any science degree possible.
For awhile i was swimming. Somehow i got it in my head that I HAD to do a professional degree. That anything else wouldnt be a true reflection of my worth. So it was pretty much down to either psychology or law. Far from being personal passions or anything. Just viable options I could see myself growing to love. Like an amiable arranged marriage.
But then my horizons opened, and I realised that I couldnt stay in this country all my life. That I had to commit myself for a cause larger than myself. That maybe I was meant for bigger things. Current affairs and international happenings got the better of me, and my eye was suddenly set on a career in the public sector. Not just any career. A career as a foreign service officer.
OH! the adventure! The history that was mine to make. the thrill, the rush the adrenaline. It was clear now, i had to have a degree that prepared me for this ride. International relations. Economics. Law. The degree was now a means. The life was to be assisted, not dictated by my qualifications.
But JC soon ended, and i started getting dreamy again. Scholarship or not, career in whichever sector, I knew my life was going to have to be exciting. I didnt want to die and experienced any less than i could have had. I wanted it all. I decided I might even follow Mr Veera's footsteps and not stay in any job longer than 5 years. Because in retrospect, five years is a very short time. But a long enough time to be meaningful. I wanted to keep learning all my life. I realised how much i enjoyed philosophy. But it wasnt necessary i did a degree in it. And I suppose that brings me to where I am now.
I still want to do a degree in law. I still want a career in the foreign service. But I also want to finish my novel. And keep reading philosophy. Maybe join the navy. Try teaching at some point. keep writing. Try getting things published. Take years off here and there to do community service around southeast asia. Write more to the press as i get older. And most importantly, never get bored. Keep writing. Keep reading. keep learning. Keep philosophizing. earn enough to get by. Get by to see life in its glory and appreciate its beauty as much as I may. And never ever regret.
