In Her Testiment (part 1)
by rishik V. Menon
I spent the last sunday with God.
It wasnt at any church or temple
at ceylon road or otherwise.
It was at ward 23, at the ICU
at changi general hospital.
She laid there blessing us
with memories of time spent with her
and purging our souls
till we were reduced to
dulcet tears on the floor.
At first i wondered if it was ironic or not.
How the steady, dull beep and
monotone of heaves for air could signal life.
But that was before i saw your eye
and then i understood
and there was nothing else to fear.
God wasnt dead.
She was right there
how fearful.
how frightening.
How human to demand answers and consolation of heaven and forever.
how weakening.
how powerless.
how could we even give up hope for a moment when moments are so dear.
When mortality is but a mere symptom of humans.
And its a fact,
that ideals will never die.
-----
Tears In Heaven
Eric Clapton
-----------------
Would you know my name if I saw you in heaven?
Would it be the same if I saw you in heaven?
I must be strong and carry on
'Cause I know I don't belong here in heaven
Would you hold my hand if I saw you in heaven?
Would you help me stand if I saw you in heaven?
I'll find my way through night and day
'Cause I know I just can't stay here in heaven
Time can bring you down, time can bend your knees
Time can break your heart, have you begging please
Begging please Beyond the door there's peace I'm sure
And I know there'll be no more tears in heaven
Would you know my name if I saw you in heaven?
Would it be the same if I saw you in heaven?
I must be strong and carry on
'Cause I know I don't belong here in heaven
'Cause I know I don't belong, here in heaven
Friday, June 29, 2007
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
take my pain away
I think if any band was to be associated with the movie half nelson, it would have to be "Jimmy eat world". either them or Bob Marley. haha. yeaa...
-------
The moon was so clean today. so. sharp. and clean. picturesque to the point of perfection. you should have seen it. sigh.
--------
It really must suck to not have any neighbours you know... Just people you can say hi to on the way home. people who you can go over to, just for coffee or a chat. or just ring up and go cycle with. damn i miss pasir ris heights. as eccentric as it was, it was home. i want to go back home. gaah. of course the people there made it what it was. dharvin. kyle. peter keith. sigh. no doubt about it. I wanna go home.
..
I wanna go skate.
I wanna go skate, right now. Now. and not go for my lit paper tomorrow. i wanna see how far i can travel. then sleep where ever i find myself. I wanna forget about exams. i wanna forget about getting a scholarship. i just wanna stay up late at night and feel alive, for a change.
..
maybe tonight, ill sleep with my window open. my curtains been drawn for a good 6 months. dont ask me why. it just has.
.
why do i feel compelled to sleep, when my body knows i dont feel it?
what am i trying to achieve, here?
ah, heck it.
im off.
-------
The moon was so clean today. so. sharp. and clean. picturesque to the point of perfection. you should have seen it. sigh.
--------
It really must suck to not have any neighbours you know... Just people you can say hi to on the way home. people who you can go over to, just for coffee or a chat. or just ring up and go cycle with. damn i miss pasir ris heights. as eccentric as it was, it was home. i want to go back home. gaah. of course the people there made it what it was. dharvin. kyle. peter keith. sigh. no doubt about it. I wanna go home.
..
I wanna go skate.
I wanna go skate, right now. Now. and not go for my lit paper tomorrow. i wanna see how far i can travel. then sleep where ever i find myself. I wanna forget about exams. i wanna forget about getting a scholarship. i just wanna stay up late at night and feel alive, for a change.
..
maybe tonight, ill sleep with my window open. my curtains been drawn for a good 6 months. dont ask me why. it just has.
.
why do i feel compelled to sleep, when my body knows i dont feel it?
what am i trying to achieve, here?
ah, heck it.
im off.
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
yummmmsss
It has come to my attention that Jef Buckley is not in rock and roll hall of fame. how troubling... hmmm...
"are you gonna study tomorrow"
"of course. i always study tomorrow!"
hmm. maybe that might be the root of my incoming common test woes. possibly? haha.
modern chemistry is a way cool song.
"i believe in medication!
i believe in therapy!"
--------------
A & B (or C & C?)
by rishik menon
when you first entered my sight,
i wasnt sure which thought struck me first.
the quelling of my insatiable appetite
or the timely ripening of your fragrant fruit.
neither seemed perverse nor unnatural.
either seemed unmistakably unavoidable.
as i undressed your course delicate
bosom and revealed your
brute awkwardness to the world of oxides,
i hesitated to indulge your countenance.
was that pale coat that discoloured your
heroic landscape of mountains and valleys
a result of the reality of mass manufacturing?
or has that wispy sheet followed you
from that southern mess
your ancestors called home?
your so-called heritage?
The answer is of no consequence to me.
I bathe you slowly in my porcelain ashram,
two quick gestures, out of impatience,
out of my appreciation of your fragility.
and then i proceed to enjoy every morsel of your moment
in your form, adulterated and soaking from my
seedy solution.
on occasion, i regale myself the risk
of taking you for a second swim
in my acerbic concoction.
and i enjoy every bit of adrenaline
i feel as I find myself anxious
for your safe return.
Daunting... yet Im confident,
that if you come back it will
be as twice as seductive,
without any consideration for your
consumption. for death was bound
to catch up with all of us sooner or later.
just yours was in the pipeline
much sooner than the rest of us.
i suppose, that my taking a personal pleasure
and interest in your affairs, didnt leave
for much else to hope for.
-------------
"are you gonna study tomorrow"
"of course. i always study tomorrow!"
hmm. maybe that might be the root of my incoming common test woes. possibly? haha.
modern chemistry is a way cool song.
"i believe in medication!
i believe in therapy!"
--------------
A & B (or C & C?)
by rishik menon
when you first entered my sight,
i wasnt sure which thought struck me first.
the quelling of my insatiable appetite
or the timely ripening of your fragrant fruit.
neither seemed perverse nor unnatural.
either seemed unmistakably unavoidable.
as i undressed your course delicate
bosom and revealed your
brute awkwardness to the world of oxides,
i hesitated to indulge your countenance.
was that pale coat that discoloured your
heroic landscape of mountains and valleys
a result of the reality of mass manufacturing?
or has that wispy sheet followed you
from that southern mess
your ancestors called home?
your so-called heritage?
The answer is of no consequence to me.
I bathe you slowly in my porcelain ashram,
two quick gestures, out of impatience,
out of my appreciation of your fragility.
and then i proceed to enjoy every morsel of your moment
in your form, adulterated and soaking from my
seedy solution.
on occasion, i regale myself the risk
of taking you for a second swim
in my acerbic concoction.
and i enjoy every bit of adrenaline
i feel as I find myself anxious
for your safe return.
Daunting... yet Im confident,
that if you come back it will
be as twice as seductive,
without any consideration for your
consumption. for death was bound
to catch up with all of us sooner or later.
just yours was in the pipeline
much sooner than the rest of us.
i suppose, that my taking a personal pleasure
and interest in your affairs, didnt leave
for much else to hope for.
-------------
we'll play a dream without a trace
breaking breaking breaking
bre akin g
o ut o f thisslow
and con tr i ved s h e l l.
s l o w ly and imresisting
cau se th a t s the la st t h i n g i
w a n t t o all ow. f o r ei ther to see th e
t r u th in si de, an d so i pul l
my self backt ogether andresi st.
resistthebr e aking o f
t h i s r e lu cta nt l i e. l i e that I,
re main un cer tain, is to th e be st of my
in te re st s. aye? nay? a nd as i re turn to t h i s l i n e o f thought, i c an t help b u t notice
i am breakingbreaking breaking apart.
so i resisteveryinch and hide.
bre akin g
o ut o f thisslow
and con tr i ved s h e l l.
s l o w ly and imresisting
cau se th a t s the la st t h i n g i
w a n t t o all ow. f o r ei ther to see th e
t r u th in si de, an d so i pul l
my self backt ogether andresi st.
resistthebr e aking o f
t h i s r e lu cta nt l i e. l i e that I,
re main un cer tain, is to th e be st of my
in te re st s. aye? nay? a nd as i re turn to t h i s l i n e o f thought, i c an t help b u t notice
i am breakingbreaking breaking apart.
so i resisteveryinch and hide.
Saturday, June 16, 2007
pong 3d curveball
song on my mind.
"no doubling back" jason mraz
"no seatbelt song" brand new
"modern chemistry" motion city soundtrack
shalala. so here is me, trying to write a fun poem. where people WONT come up to me and say "wow. that was beautiful. i loved it. bla bla bla. very confusing though. didnt understand half of what you were saying". pffft.
so in the spirit of Poe, i present...
--------------------------
Odious Efforts At Immitating Ulalume
by rishik V. Menon
on occasion there comes such a time
a time where does wander, my mind.
to a time that has past
yet the feeling does last
like a tingle, it runs down my spine.
but oh strange, is this feeling i feel
that im not even sure if its real
but from the back of my mind
i swear once was a time
when current flowed through like copper, annealed
not steel, no, but copper, annealed.
so forgive me, as I now profess
but it just wont come out of my chest
like a residual tickle
the thought makes me stickle
with amnesia, she wont let me rest.
so without further haste
here, i'll elucidate
how it was Magic, Electric to me!
though i doubt other readers agree!
how that sound of that song
thats not been played for so long
sends me dreaming of seeing the sea!
how magic, electric it was!
now ive lost all my structure of verse!
but when i read what i wrote
oh, and i know its no joke
what i felt was as real as my thirst.
its so strange when i look back to now
how its changed, how ive lost all my 'wow'.
like snow it had melted,
though i swore once I felt it
seems all milk will eventually sour.
i swear, in this time I cant feel.
neither happy nor sad, nor half-real.
but when i remenisce
its so easy to miss
that i wish back then id made time heel.
for it was- Magic. Electric. to ME!
though i doubt other readers agree!
from early august, no wonder,
up till past september,
id fly to the moon and feel free
yes how magic electric it was
this wont be the last nor the first
time that i shall declare
how I wish i was there
just to snap back here, just to see it burst
its Magic Electric, to me.
though i doubt other readers agree.
and i cant undertsand
how that pulse down my hand
was sent by a source which i really cant see.
so i wonder at times if you feel
the way i do, when it feels unreal
but theres no way i'll know
that times gone years ago
and in the back of my mind it stays sealed.
sealed up, is that magic i feel.
right next to the electric, so sealed.
"no doubling back" jason mraz
"no seatbelt song" brand new
"modern chemistry" motion city soundtrack
shalala. so here is me, trying to write a fun poem. where people WONT come up to me and say "wow. that was beautiful. i loved it. bla bla bla. very confusing though. didnt understand half of what you were saying". pffft.
so in the spirit of Poe, i present...
--------------------------
Odious Efforts At Immitating Ulalume
by rishik V. Menon
on occasion there comes such a time
a time where does wander, my mind.
to a time that has past
yet the feeling does last
like a tingle, it runs down my spine.
but oh strange, is this feeling i feel
that im not even sure if its real
but from the back of my mind
i swear once was a time
when current flowed through like copper, annealed
not steel, no, but copper, annealed.
so forgive me, as I now profess
but it just wont come out of my chest
like a residual tickle
the thought makes me stickle
with amnesia, she wont let me rest.
so without further haste
here, i'll elucidate
how it was Magic, Electric to me!
though i doubt other readers agree!
how that sound of that song
thats not been played for so long
sends me dreaming of seeing the sea!
how magic, electric it was!
now ive lost all my structure of verse!
but when i read what i wrote
oh, and i know its no joke
what i felt was as real as my thirst.
its so strange when i look back to now
how its changed, how ive lost all my 'wow'.
like snow it had melted,
though i swore once I felt it
seems all milk will eventually sour.
i swear, in this time I cant feel.
neither happy nor sad, nor half-real.
but when i remenisce
its so easy to miss
that i wish back then id made time heel.
for it was- Magic. Electric. to ME!
though i doubt other readers agree!
from early august, no wonder,
up till past september,
id fly to the moon and feel free
yes how magic electric it was
this wont be the last nor the first
time that i shall declare
how I wish i was there
just to snap back here, just to see it burst
its Magic Electric, to me.
though i doubt other readers agree.
and i cant undertsand
how that pulse down my hand
was sent by a source which i really cant see.
so i wonder at times if you feel
the way i do, when it feels unreal
but theres no way i'll know
that times gone years ago
and in the back of my mind it stays sealed.
sealed up, is that magic i feel.
right next to the electric, so sealed.
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
happy happy birthday
I know there was an accident here by saosin
closing time by matchbox 20
mmms... music to soothe the soul.
i realise i havent written a proper post in a long time. almost feels like ive forgotten how to.
well there can only be one real explanation.
YOU!! thats right amma! YOU! GET OUT OF MY BLOG!
so having said that i gracefully leave. maybe get a new url. maybe add a password. we'll see. but till then.
GRRRrrrr...
>= (
I know you arnt that great with computers. so ill just tell you. see those symbols up there?
> = (
yeah. those symbols thats an angry face. tilt your head to the left and it makes sense.
-------------------
but just before i leave.
Charlie and the chocolate factory rocks! haha. if we remember rishik's unreasonably extensive list of movie awards from last year. here comes the latest one.
Special award for the Vindication of Rishik's Sanity: Charlie and the Chocolate Factory!
whooo! well done johnny depp. good night to you all.
closing time by matchbox 20
mmms... music to soothe the soul.
i realise i havent written a proper post in a long time. almost feels like ive forgotten how to.
well there can only be one real explanation.
YOU!! thats right amma! YOU! GET OUT OF MY BLOG!
so having said that i gracefully leave. maybe get a new url. maybe add a password. we'll see. but till then.
GRRRrrrr...
>= (
I know you arnt that great with computers. so ill just tell you. see those symbols up there?
> = (
yeah. those symbols thats an angry face. tilt your head to the left and it makes sense.
-------------------
but just before i leave.
Charlie and the chocolate factory rocks! haha. if we remember rishik's unreasonably extensive list of movie awards from last year. here comes the latest one.
Special award for the Vindication of Rishik's Sanity: Charlie and the Chocolate Factory!
whooo! well done johnny depp. good night to you all.
Sunday, June 10, 2007
the party just got started
Any room any block
by Rishik V. Menon
it all starts here, dont stop
dont lose another drop
such a waste of time
twas designed to flop.
destiny awaits
but your acting in haste
but you mean it
when your sayin, damn
"why the heck not"
so we pack our days
and memories away
of the times when the
hand of the clock would sway.
to the rhythm of your number
which i hardly can remember
as i seal it
kiss and wish
that this is worth a shot
cause i wont know what i forgot
so have I..
finally arrived at the party
cause i cant really tell
when theres no colour no smell
and it sure feels awfully empty
such so, that i wanna come home
but i wont move until I know
for you I made belief
a star from sundried leaves
and maybe its light
would somehow blind your grief
though im perched here expiring,
certain my time is running
anyday
ill lend my shade
before i slowly fade
this change is more
than i bargained for
this balance due
its underscored
by a pain from having to stay as same
as picture portraits in family frames.
not that I was sure
or I saw it as a chore
but i never dared risking claustrophobia
so have I..
finally arrived at the party
cause i cant really tell
when its as empty as hell
and it sure feels awfully empty
such so, that i swear im alone
but i wont move until I know
-------------------
Room 4370 by Rishik V. Menon
i used to play games of make belief
i made you a star from sundried leaves
and maybe that star today
would shine from above, and show you the way
though im perched here expiring, and smiling
its hopeless to pretend that ill still be trying
any much longer to show you my shade
so i wish you the best
as i slowly fade
by Rishik V. Menon
it all starts here, dont stop
dont lose another drop
such a waste of time
twas designed to flop.
destiny awaits
but your acting in haste
but you mean it
when your sayin, damn
"why the heck not"
so we pack our days
and memories away
of the times when the
hand of the clock would sway.
to the rhythm of your number
which i hardly can remember
as i seal it
kiss and wish
that this is worth a shot
cause i wont know what i forgot
so have I..
finally arrived at the party
cause i cant really tell
when theres no colour no smell
and it sure feels awfully empty
such so, that i wanna come home
but i wont move until I know
for you I made belief
a star from sundried leaves
and maybe its light
would somehow blind your grief
though im perched here expiring,
certain my time is running
anyday
ill lend my shade
before i slowly fade
this change is more
than i bargained for
this balance due
its underscored
by a pain from having to stay as same
as picture portraits in family frames.
not that I was sure
or I saw it as a chore
but i never dared risking claustrophobia
so have I..
finally arrived at the party
cause i cant really tell
when its as empty as hell
and it sure feels awfully empty
such so, that i swear im alone
but i wont move until I know
-------------------
Room 4370 by Rishik V. Menon
i used to play games of make belief
i made you a star from sundried leaves
and maybe that star today
would shine from above, and show you the way
though im perched here expiring, and smiling
its hopeless to pretend that ill still be trying
any much longer to show you my shade
so i wish you the best
as i slowly fade
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