sudden thought. "paranoid android" would make a nice soundtrack to a videogame involving killing monsters. like diablo. possibly the only videogame i ever properly played.
school tomorrow. unleashing the joys of itunes.
and of imagination of a future.
"and where do you go? you got no detsination, no map to guide you"
off to make some music. or try to. sighness...
Sunday, March 25, 2007
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
its ur life
Anonymous: To be nobody but yourself in a world which is striving night and day to make you everyone else, means to fight the hardest battle in which any human being can fight and never stop fighting. you for one, will not become anyone else. the world cannot change you and for that i respect you.
Thanks anonymous. beautiful quote. truly love it. sigh.
---
today was a stressful day.
with that horrible reality check by Mr hasim.
and that horribly early and disconcerting PSC scholarship talk.
as rannald so aptly said. double whammy...
---
but it is frightfully stressful. i need that scholarship. i NEED it. i need my 5 distinctions. gaaah.
Mr hasim was talking bout those few of us with TWO major commitments this year. "hmmm". i really did wonder who he was talking bout, in spite of his seemingly indicative stares. cause in my mind my list of impotant commitments passed the two mark pretty fast.
Midsummer's night dream
Mega house function
alpha house function
"muthal payanam" in kerala
HC Camp
KI IS
H3 lit IS
... feeling nostalgic.
cant stand this tension.
missing things. and people. and smells.
gonna sleep.
Thanks anonymous. beautiful quote. truly love it. sigh.
---
today was a stressful day.
with that horrible reality check by Mr hasim.
and that horribly early and disconcerting PSC scholarship talk.
as rannald so aptly said. double whammy...
---
but it is frightfully stressful. i need that scholarship. i NEED it. i need my 5 distinctions. gaaah.
Mr hasim was talking bout those few of us with TWO major commitments this year. "hmmm". i really did wonder who he was talking bout, in spite of his seemingly indicative stares. cause in my mind my list of impotant commitments passed the two mark pretty fast.
Midsummer's night dream
Mega house function
alpha house function
"muthal payanam" in kerala
HC Camp
KI IS
H3 lit IS
... feeling nostalgic.
cant stand this tension.
missing things. and people. and smells.
gonna sleep.
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
hostel life
"23" by Jimmy eat world
"studman" by electrico
"priceless" jealous sound
two random memories. of the LaSalle ipoh convention at the end of sec 3. and of post Os KL trip at the end of sec 4.
how nice is it to stay in a hostel. the joy of constant companionship of your friends. The warmth of fraternity and conversation. its like going to school, without the work.
how good must it feel.
Ive learnt alot in my life through camps, and overnighters. Alot of different from the different times. OBS, i learnt how to be a leader. LLTC, i leart of widening my paradigm. survival ubin camp, i learnt about apprciating the beauty of life. survival camp, i learnt strenght and confidence. Venture camp, i leant about the power of will and how the only person i needed to make proud, was myself. SLC camp i learnt about having fun.
....when i was in kindergarten, i used to think that the tastes, sweet, sour, salty bitter were all part of some sort of scale for much we liked food, sweet obviously being the highest. this was a problem when i was asked to identify the taste of a green apple, and green apple being my favourite fruit at that time, recieved the grading of "very very very sweet!". hmmms...
i better be off
"studman" by electrico
"priceless" jealous sound
two random memories. of the LaSalle ipoh convention at the end of sec 3. and of post Os KL trip at the end of sec 4.
how nice is it to stay in a hostel. the joy of constant companionship of your friends. The warmth of fraternity and conversation. its like going to school, without the work.
how good must it feel.
Ive learnt alot in my life through camps, and overnighters. Alot of different from the different times. OBS, i learnt how to be a leader. LLTC, i leart of widening my paradigm. survival ubin camp, i learnt about apprciating the beauty of life. survival camp, i learnt strenght and confidence. Venture camp, i leant about the power of will and how the only person i needed to make proud, was myself. SLC camp i learnt about having fun.
....when i was in kindergarten, i used to think that the tastes, sweet, sour, salty bitter were all part of some sort of scale for much we liked food, sweet obviously being the highest. this was a problem when i was asked to identify the taste of a green apple, and green apple being my favourite fruit at that time, recieved the grading of "very very very sweet!". hmmms...
i better be off
Saturday, March 17, 2007
yea yea yea
wanted to buy tim tams the other day. then i remembered my sis wont be at home to share it with. sigh. =(
300 rocked. beautiful cinematography and imagery.
so does miss nansi of course for recommending it,.
and for buying me Fountainhead! whooo! more books to read.
---
a year of thinking.
so far.
of what i wanna be.
i mean like teaching. journalims. yes. but what do i read? law? psychology?
and what then do i write..?
being yourself in a world trying to make you someone else. thats the greatest victory of all.
words of an ealier house captain.
its one thing to be true to who you are. but whether or not people appreciate you for it. Thats how you find your friends.
surprisingly i dont find as much joy in going out as i used to. maybe its to do with the fact i hate cycling to the MRt and back. and my bike just got punctured today. and i hate orchard road, quite abit. and i hate crowds. and noise.
hate admitting it, but the world of MSN is so much more peaceful. the social interaction minus the pain of other people.
----
still not done my KI essay.
LOOK! AWAY!!
---
"falling away" ben jelen
"this boy" james morrison
"when your around" motion city soundtrack
im surprised by the huge amount of control i have found in myself this year.
control. the first step closer to discipline.
its a slow process.
any faster and i wont appreciate it.
gnight.
300 rocked. beautiful cinematography and imagery.
so does miss nansi of course for recommending it,.
and for buying me Fountainhead! whooo! more books to read.
---
a year of thinking.
so far.
of what i wanna be.
i mean like teaching. journalims. yes. but what do i read? law? psychology?
and what then do i write..?
being yourself in a world trying to make you someone else. thats the greatest victory of all.
words of an ealier house captain.
its one thing to be true to who you are. but whether or not people appreciate you for it. Thats how you find your friends.
surprisingly i dont find as much joy in going out as i used to. maybe its to do with the fact i hate cycling to the MRt and back. and my bike just got punctured today. and i hate orchard road, quite abit. and i hate crowds. and noise.
hate admitting it, but the world of MSN is so much more peaceful. the social interaction minus the pain of other people.
----
still not done my KI essay.
LOOK! AWAY!!
---
"falling away" ben jelen
"this boy" james morrison
"when your around" motion city soundtrack
im surprised by the huge amount of control i have found in myself this year.
control. the first step closer to discipline.
its a slow process.
any faster and i wont appreciate it.
gnight.
Friday, March 16, 2007
FUVK LA
FUCK THIS SHIT ASS COMPUTER.
FUCK YOU FOR FUCKING TURNING OFF, FOR NO FUCKING REASON.
FUCK YOU. CAUSE NOW, MY FUCKING HARD WORK FOR THE PAST FUCKING FIVE HOURS IS GONE. FUCK YOU CAUSE MY POEM, WHICH WAS 1 MINUTE AWAY FROM BEING PUBLISHED, IS GONE. FUCK YOU.
SO HERE I GO AGAIN. TRYING TO RECREATE WHAT YOU FUCKING DESTROYED. MY CREATIVITY. BITCH.
--------
Biting At Neo-colonialism Gets Little Attention
by Rishik Menon
Foreign talent. And thats really how foreign their talent is
that you cant even recognise it when you see it,
throbbing around our city like a pulse
pumping through our water pipes, polyvinyl cholride,
plastic. cheap, disposable and most of the time transparent.
though when that shield of invisibility dissapears,
unsightly, offensive to the senses and begging to be hidden
behind old rusty zinc sheets and timeless stigma.
foreign. so foreign that we dont actually attach the word
talent to them, cause that word is too at home with us
to be associated with 'them'. Nope, instead we add another word,
equally foreign to us: labour. of course not meaning to discount
the efforts of our long forgotten working class.
but why still do you look on at spite at this new breed of men?
not as if they are replacing you. After all it was us who chose
not to lose face, so its not exactly our place to be replaced at all.
foreign. as in foreign diseases, like you learn in your neighbourhood CCs?
so is that why, we avoid them like the plague on the MRTs,
and instead choose to sit next to our patriotic part time NS men
who perfume the carridge with sweat that belittles whatever aroma
that slighted you away from that foreign fruit in the first place?
i mean like, hey, spending hours away practising jungle warfare,
to protect our urban city state (which was constructed by you know who)
sure seems like a productive effort. Man, Talk about nation building, huh?
Foreign. too foreign such that our local courtesy campaigns stop short of them.
Foreign enough, that belittling them and teaching your children to do so
is about as acceptable as thinking up nursery rhymes to mock animals in
our zoos or night safaris. Is that how foreign they are? so foreign that the humanity in their
faces fade away as they step into their cloudy world of concrete powder smoke? so foreign
that we are excused from our day to day show of humility, and mentally demolish whatever
dignity they had, in spite of the fact they helped construct the infrastructure and groundworks
for the same city we sparkle with pride for during national day parades?
and how ironic it is, that you have no idea how foreign you become,
when your eyes stare daggers at him for merely glancing you over.
as if he needed your glare to be turned off by your beautiful ingratitide.
oh, how little do you know, how foreign your face becomes when
it contorts from your disgusting digust at seeing them walk your
beautiful pruned and manicured garden city streets,
corrupting your view on your way back from work,
after travelling thousands of miles from their own home to make a home for us.
----
the first one was so much better. GAAH!
FUCK YOU FOR FUCKING TURNING OFF, FOR NO FUCKING REASON.
FUCK YOU. CAUSE NOW, MY FUCKING HARD WORK FOR THE PAST FUCKING FIVE HOURS IS GONE. FUCK YOU CAUSE MY POEM, WHICH WAS 1 MINUTE AWAY FROM BEING PUBLISHED, IS GONE. FUCK YOU.
SO HERE I GO AGAIN. TRYING TO RECREATE WHAT YOU FUCKING DESTROYED. MY CREATIVITY. BITCH.
--------
Biting At Neo-colonialism Gets Little Attention
by Rishik Menon
Foreign talent. And thats really how foreign their talent is
that you cant even recognise it when you see it,
throbbing around our city like a pulse
pumping through our water pipes, polyvinyl cholride,
plastic. cheap, disposable and most of the time transparent.
though when that shield of invisibility dissapears,
unsightly, offensive to the senses and begging to be hidden
behind old rusty zinc sheets and timeless stigma.
foreign. so foreign that we dont actually attach the word
talent to them, cause that word is too at home with us
to be associated with 'them'. Nope, instead we add another word,
equally foreign to us: labour. of course not meaning to discount
the efforts of our long forgotten working class.
but why still do you look on at spite at this new breed of men?
not as if they are replacing you. After all it was us who chose
not to lose face, so its not exactly our place to be replaced at all.
foreign. as in foreign diseases, like you learn in your neighbourhood CCs?
so is that why, we avoid them like the plague on the MRTs,
and instead choose to sit next to our patriotic part time NS men
who perfume the carridge with sweat that belittles whatever aroma
that slighted you away from that foreign fruit in the first place?
i mean like, hey, spending hours away practising jungle warfare,
to protect our urban city state (which was constructed by you know who)
sure seems like a productive effort. Man, Talk about nation building, huh?
Foreign. too foreign such that our local courtesy campaigns stop short of them.
Foreign enough, that belittling them and teaching your children to do so
is about as acceptable as thinking up nursery rhymes to mock animals in
our zoos or night safaris. Is that how foreign they are? so foreign that the humanity in their
faces fade away as they step into their cloudy world of concrete powder smoke? so foreign
that we are excused from our day to day show of humility, and mentally demolish whatever
dignity they had, in spite of the fact they helped construct the infrastructure and groundworks
for the same city we sparkle with pride for during national day parades?
and how ironic it is, that you have no idea how foreign you become,
when your eyes stare daggers at him for merely glancing you over.
as if he needed your glare to be turned off by your beautiful ingratitide.
oh, how little do you know, how foreign your face becomes when
it contorts from your disgusting digust at seeing them walk your
beautiful pruned and manicured garden city streets,
corrupting your view on your way back from work,
after travelling thousands of miles from their own home to make a home for us.
----
the first one was so much better. GAAH!
Thursday, March 15, 2007
i said i wasnt gonna lose my head
but then pop! *pop* goes my heart~.. haha
whata joke of a movie. ranks all the way up there in my all time favourite right next to "Mean Girls". haha.
if i get my KI essay done, ill be a satisfied boy.
---
clouds and sunsets
sigh.
im off.
Monday, March 12, 2007
wow wow wow
whata week ahead.
but amidst all the drama, ki, lit, history, and econs.
i ll find time
for my old friends.
dont want to be the one who got left behind.
dont want to be the one who left behind.
jamisonparker's rock paper scissors playing.
"but you got to swear, dont forget to remember me"
sigh. =(
think i better sleep now.
staying awake doesnt help.
how does it happen. this funny way time flies and crawls all at once. how.
but amidst all the drama, ki, lit, history, and econs.
i ll find time
for my old friends.
dont want to be the one who got left behind.
dont want to be the one who left behind.
jamisonparker's rock paper scissors playing.
"but you got to swear, dont forget to remember me"
sigh. =(
think i better sleep now.
staying awake doesnt help.
how does it happen. this funny way time flies and crawls all at once. how.
Sunday, March 04, 2007
when everyday is so packed with moments. and when every moment carries so much sentiment. it understandable that i get lost in time, and my great surprise that its only been a week ago it was still february. whoa...
its not about a change of speed. its about a change of route altogether. grrr... unfamiliar territory.
events happening. so many events. birthdays, visits, funerals, deaths, prayers, consultations, meetings, proposals, essays, results, coffee and cream.
last nigth on the way home, me and my mom were laughing our heads off, listening to the lyrics of the song "I shot the sheriff".
loving rainy sundays. turning up the music alone at home.
hating not doing what i set out to do.
Things arnt always funny when you look back on it. stupid tragic love songs.
its not about a change of speed. its about a change of route altogether. grrr... unfamiliar territory.
events happening. so many events. birthdays, visits, funerals, deaths, prayers, consultations, meetings, proposals, essays, results, coffee and cream.
last nigth on the way home, me and my mom were laughing our heads off, listening to the lyrics of the song "I shot the sheriff".
loving rainy sundays. turning up the music alone at home.
hating not doing what i set out to do.
Things arnt always funny when you look back on it. stupid tragic love songs.
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