Faded,
Away like the color in a blue sky
At the end of the day
Night falls, and the search begins
For something, something better than this
Scream or a cry the truth or a lie
I'm not sure they will save us this time
I don't wanna be around
When it all comes down to watch something beautiful die
You said the only way is to run away
You're sick of me so you just can't
Stick around to hear me pleadin, I'm pleadin
Does it show, I'm pathetic I know
I just cant stand here watch you go
I'm runnin after you, I'm runnin after you
Helpless cus my hands are tied
Eyelids pinned back so they're opened wide
In a theater, all alone
In the front row, to watch something beautiful die
Scream or a cry the truth or a lie
I'm not sure they will save us this time
I don't wanna be around
When it all comes down to watch something beautiful die
You say the only way is to run away
Sick of me so you just cant stick around
To hear me pleadin, I'm pleadin
Does it show, I'm pathetic I know
Just can't stand here watch you go
I'm runnin after you, I'm runnin after you
What happened to
The things that we used to do
You said its all the same
And that you needed a change
You left without good-bye
And now I'm wonderin why
I don't think I wanna know
All the things he does better
How the past just doesn't matter
You left me once, this time will be the last time
You say the only way is to run away
Sick of me so you just cant stick aournd
To hear me pleadin, I'm pleadin
Does it show, I'm pathetic I know
Just can't stand here watch you go
I'm runnin after you, I'm runnin after you
Look for the feeling that we lost
Where'd you have it last
Maybe if we retrace our steps
But we can't find the path
That led us here to where we stand
Face to face to watch this bitter end
Now something beautiful is dead
Tuesday, February 21
Sophie is pregnant. We are almost 100% sure of it. But we cannot keep the babies. She will have to be sterilized, and the babies will be removed before they are born. I think about this, And I cry.
I cry for Sophie, who will have to undergo the pain and truama of losing her flesh and blood, who will wonder why her tummy hurts but is so flat and stiched up, who will never know why her babies were not born. I cry, because they will never open their button black eyes and see the world, will never breathe the air that we now breathe, never smell the wonderful aroma of vegetables and hay, never taste the sweetness of carrots and grapes and bananas, who will never feel the warmth of their mother, never hear the sounds of nature, never feel the ground beneath their little feet. I cry, because they will never know what it feels like to be cared for, to be soothed with kind words and gentle gestures, to be praised with treats and presented with presents, to be held and hugged tight on a cold day.
They will never know how it feels to be loved.
I'm sorry little Sophie. I'm so sorry.
And the time you said that this is forever..
Saturday, February 18
Dawnie introduced this to me. It's so cute. Go do!
EIGHTEEN EIGHTEEN EIGHTEEN EIGHTEEN! My gosh, CONGRATS FELI!! EIGHTEEN! EIGHTEEN! EIGHTEEN! Wow, think I might be more excited than she is.
We had a wonderful FCC. But then again,
FCCs are always wonderful. Ful of wonder people. HAHA! Anyway, met them at Far East Subway after class. Then we walked to Wheelock to get Jenny's phone fixed and to Borders! But I couldn't find what I was looking for(sounds like some song). After walking around a bit aimlessly, we decided to head down to Suntec, stopping by Popular along the way. Finally found what I was looking for(sounds like the same song but different verse?)! Suntec shop-walking around. Feli "dropped" stuff in Topshop and Jenny and I found it and "picked it up". (inside joke) Hope you like your stuff Feli!
Gelare! Eye candy wasn't working though so :( But we sat down anyway and I played a bit of GTA with Jenny laughing everytime I crashed. -_-" After Gelare we went to Marche for dinner! It was my third time in Marche. Freaking expensive.. But gooooooooooood. Rosti, Coke, Craps! (hahaha kiat!) Then sit and talk and talk. More shop-walking! Carefour! Stupid CokeLight bottle couldn't be opened so we asked gay-like cashier to help. Waah he was so strong, just one twist. Rofl! Then we sent birthday girl off and sat at Starbucks to chat. Kiat, Lena, Sze. Hmm, I'd say it was a pretty productive talk. We should have more of this kinda thing. Cheerio all!
Sze, Lena, Feli, Jan, Kiat, Ray. (x
And the time you said that this is forever..
Tuesday, February 14
Puppy's home! We used the excuse that dad and I missed her and that the fosterer had inadequate space for her (which is true). And we're naming the gray Sophie/Sofie. It's short for 'So fierce'. But she's quite sweet actually.
Completed my DAE online shibang. Now all I have to do is mail in stuff and do some writeup shit for NYP.
Skipped school yesterday and today. Went with Felidala yesterday to TP and NP. 'Fore that we caught "Casanova". Ohmygolly what a funnily sweet show. You laugh almost as much as you go "awwww". Another great movie to buy. (x Tp was friggin crowded but the lady at the Biotech booth said I should just give it a shot. Np was kinda disappointing for me 'sides the fact that we met Jo there and had yummy sandwiches. AmyOng was also there with (i think his name is)Sam. Then, took a bus which Jo said was supposed to stop right outside Toa Payoh MRT but instead we alighted in some ulu pandan place where we couldn't get a cab to Suntec. =/ So we hopped on the first bus that said "Toa Payoh" but alighted at Potong Pasir MRT. HA! We were still bent on heading down to Suntec but no cabs! A suayday indeed. Eventually we ended up meeting Auntie and Uncle at Compass. Hahaha..
Couldn't wake up today. By the time I got up it was 9 and it was too late for me to head to school. Stupid if-you-come-after-first-meeting-then-you'll-be-marked-absent rule that the Science teacher came up with. It's supposed to be PARTIAL attendence. -Rolls eyes-
I need a Coke. With Ice.
And the time you said that this is forever..
Sunday, February 12
Creme left. She'll be put up in my mum's friend's house. She's still being fostered. -Sigh- I miss that little puppy.
We've got a new bunny. Female, gray and white fur. Looks like Woody. Hahaha.. Haven't named her yet. We're still deciding.
Poly hopping tomorrow! And hopefully a movie before that.
Oats, Barley, Latte, Creme.
And the time you said that this is forever..
Wednesday, February 8
I love Jo, I still do. This's such a sad song.. But meaningful.
Jo O'Meara - What Hurts The Most
I can take the rain On the roof of this empty house That don't bother me I can take a few tears now and then And just let 'em out
I'm not afraid to cry Every once in a while Even though Going on, with you gone Still upsets me, There are days Every now and again I pretend I'm OK But that's not what gets me
What hurts the most Was being so close And having so much to say And watching you walk away And never knowing What could've been And not seeing that loving you Is what I was trying to do
It's hard to deal With the pain of losing you Everywhere I go, but I'm doin' it It's harder for a sad smile When I see our old friends and I'm alone
Still harder Gettin' up, gettin' dressed Dealin' with this regret But I know if I could do it over I would trade, give away All the words that I say In my heart that I left unspoken
What hurts the most Was being so close And having so much to say And watching you walk away And never knowing What could've been And not seeing that loving you Is what I was trying to do
It's what I was trying to do Oh, oh oh, oh
What hurts the most Was being so close And having so much to say And watching you walk away And never knowing What could've been And not seeing that loving you Is what I was trying to do
What hurts the most, whenever you walk away, Yeah, Oh, oh, oh, oh-oh-oh
And the time you said that this is forever..
Thursday, February 2
"Tobacco gets you whacko" "Low fat not no fat"
Two of the campagin slogans that we now have. Ha! Anyway take another look at my January 28th post. Cause JENNY wanted me to edit it. Come to school Podge!