Wednesday, August 29, 2007
i wish i could be emo. i wish i could cry. sometimes i feel i dont belong. sometimes i feel weak, but i juz cant do it in front of my mum. really not in front of her. its just that too many tears have fallen that i no longer have anymore. sometimes i wish i could FEEL instead of being hardened up inside so that i can hide my true feelings. yes, i do over react, but you just dont know how hard this thing is. one you will not experience. one you will not understand. one you will not cry yourself to sleep everyday.
this is really dead. but i dont care. i want to be able to feel and love again. my reflections. my thots. are they helping me or are they causing trouble??????
=(((((
today has been a sad day. ytd too. forgive me for not showing any sense of emotion. whatever. i havent done anything and its 10 pm already. horriiiid me.=(
my 3rd post for today. record breaking. anw. un-unhappy now. so ironic rite. well. kh cheered me up anw. lol. oh nvm. xD
oh i know that someone dislikes me. okay! my blog is full of HATES. i never learn to love. i think i should just shut up for the rest of my life. and stop disturbing people.
i dont really want to rmb what happened ytd night. its juz for kh and me to know and my parents and my aunt and God. some
onethree chided me. my dad, mum and kh. i really am trying.
crying too perhaps. this person didnt even seem to apologise after this person did that to me. the door thingy. =( or maybe i was too tired to care. i want to say things, but both my daddy and kh say that i wont understand how this person feels. i cant say its unfair. coz my life wasnt even fair in the first place. i feel tired. hated. dao-ed. disgusted. sicken-ed. tragic. the only reason why i still live here is because...i just feel bad and guilty. god gave me life, but i want to ruin it. its horrible. he will never forgive me. i really feel very tired, not physically, but spiritually. nobody ever wants to help me. they say i dont know how that person is feeling, but do they actually know what
I am feeling? being an only child is hard. i dont have anybody to cry to, anybody to trust in the truth. well,
somebody. which is me,my,i and myself. get it?
i feel lethargic. sometimes i feel that physical torture is better than mental torture. isnt it! xD laughs at
HERSELFabrotherismeanttobeconfidedinbutitseemsthatihavelosthim
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
urgh. i hate today. =( morning had geog. was goign thru that check ws 4 or sth liddat. slept again. but got alot wrong coz i was doing it while watching campus and continuing after that. but somebody.SOMEBODY!
kin hang disturbed me by calling and talking crap. yes. and therefore i only got like HALF THE MARKS? and i didnt bother to do some qns anw.
then was chem. lame again. had some presentation. i was a french mercury. -.- Je suis la francais mercury. whatever! i was a wall thermometer. then the ENDING! wahhaa. i anyhow bian de. coz nth to say. then i thot on the spot. ewwwww. im so EGO. =( nvm suits my character anw. xD
then recess. ate western food at a super fast rate again.
langarts. THE HORRIBLEST SUBJECT on earth. read for like 45 mins or so. juz when im STARTING TO LIKE MY BOOK this has to be the last reading session. -.- i almost SLEPT ON MY BOOK LAH. so tired. =( then miss foo did sth else which i forgot. D=
maths. spent 15 min on qn 6 of AP3. sickening. oh shit. WHAT ELSE DID WE DO?? oh. 15.1 yeah. =/
lunch. prac-ed the alpha song. was quite okay. quite offkey actually. then after that went to eat lunch wiht jo. and i STOOD OUTSIDE THE CLASS AND LET THE HEAVY RAIN PELT ME. =P was so cool and shuang lah. then wee le ting and shi yan and some others RAN THROUGH THE RAIN. i think i would have slipped and suffered a concussion. i think im getting a cold, but anw...
then CHINESE! WAHAHA. slackest ever. did some lame ws and 钟老师 was being lame as usual. haha.
class contact. did LAME SHITTY STUFF AGAIN!
then for the BIG BIG EVENT. the horrible teacher's day rehearsal.
i cant believe that we're juz liek a 1 minute commercial to allow the next item to get ready lah. the next item's a skit. then have alot of props. and you know what! the TIC (teachers in charge) were like screaming their head off at us. first they made us stand in front of the closed curtain. then coz we had no space, they shouted at us to go and open the curtain! like. WTF. they're totally contradicting themselves. sickening. anw. off to eat dinner so that i can go out later.
OH OH HORRIBLE HOMEWORK! =(
Monday, August 27, 2007
i cant believe i found my church friend's blog through xintong's friend claudia's blog. LOL. saw his name and *CLICKED*
hahas
im lame i know
=(
anw freddy's lame. he bought a necklace for fun without knowing who to give it to. -.- anw his blog's dead and KYME'S there to revive it. =D
-.- i officially hate you kin hang! not kah hang, btw, in case sally and gong yuan are curious. grabbed from his blog claimed to be dedicated to me:
Monday, August 27, 2007
Irritating Eva disturbs the peace that prevails in my life. She wacks screams and scramble like a 2 year old freakin homo child! OOPS
Okay, proper language. She is "adorable" and disgusting in a certain way but she has many forms like a chamelion who suits the enviroment by morphing into the colours of the environment. Smart, rather piggy though. In other words, a little slow. Sorry to say that Eva but its from my heart ^^
This is a blog for you, irony or not i dont care (:
oh he is sickening. but i still love him and totally agree with him. =P so ____. this is dedicated to you. =D
Friday, August 24, 2007
decided to do a homework list today. to remind me of all the horrible stuff that i havent done. =O
1)Finish up maths AP3
2)Chem WS 1
3)Geog WB Pg 151-160
4)Teacher's day cards =/
5)Art drawing. uh oh, forgot what to draw. =/
6)Memorise FPS stuff
7)Study for science quiz
oh shit. i havent done ANYTHING. =(
Thursday, August 23, 2007
i HATE it. stupid horrible person. why does she have to force me do this do that and eat this eat that when OBVIOUSLY im studying and/or BUSY. sickening leh. =( anw chem quiz is tmr so im off mugging. shall/shall not edit when i have time! xD
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
D= sad and depressed. i think i know who did that. =( the person who spammed me for the first time has spammed me again. but WHATEVER. im going to make sure he sees this. he's so unappreciative. i BOUGHT a SPIRITUAL BOOK for him using my OWN MONEY. AND THERE WAS ONLY ONE OF THAT BOOK IN ALL THE BRANCHES OF MOUNT ZION BOOKSTORE. SHITTO. I EVEN ORDERED IT. =( see im so nice but yet i am constantly bullied by him. haiz. know why i know its him? coz he's the ONLY person who is horrible enough to call me a STUPID GAL. D= and only he will insult my cello and piano. and call me a sicko. and puke in front of me. I HATE YOU! =( oh, its a strong word. but... and you know what. he was playing a fool of me the whole time. saying that i had an attitude problem. i think HE has an attitude problem.
anw. today was boring.started out with history. mr mackintosh juz taught from the powerpoint slides that i already printed out. waste of time. and somemore my words are illegible. whatever. he claimed that he was rushing but i see no difference in the normal pace. then was math. dumb dumb and boring. went thru AP2 and did 12.5 & 12.6. sickening. but at least AP2 was neat enough. a miracle happened and i decided to be neat. for once. i am NEVER neat in math worksheets. xD anyway. doing AP3 now. so boring. grah. and oh. i copied the answers for SM1 corr. from shi yan and mdm lee STARED AT ME. oh gosh. i hid it under my AP2. haha. she wasnt allowing us to write. =/
then was recess. i went to popular with jo and bought an apron and a rag coz i put my wet cloth with the apron and they both grew mouldy. EWW. disgusting. it smelt bad. =(
RMB THE RAG. im going to talk abt it later.
then it was lang arts and we did unseen prose. too boring to post abt.
then was CHINESE. irritating chinese. we just did an yi lun wen ytd and today we have to do a comprehension. with chang wen suo duan. like wth! so i anyhow do lor. too bored to do it anw.
after lunch was home econs. had this sensory thing. was lame. and i hate milk. and diluted orange juice. the chocolate chips were okay i guess. i still like famous amos's best. xD i like their cookie lolli! =D
last period was class contact. cant believe i have to do cards for teachers. like as if they will read! anw. we cleaned up the class during contact time. i used my NEWLY BOUGHT RAG! *cross-reference!*
oh gosh, history! D= and then after that i wiped the cupboard and the teacher's table. haha. see i so guai. =D i am so utterly not pampered. xD and oh. i juz cracked three eggs. =D. a very nice job indeed. haha. then my dad was like. o.0 you know how to crack egg arh!
LOL of course i know. lalala_________ still angry with ____. =(
Sunday, August 19, 2007
whats wrong with my attitude? can anyone juz tell me? everything was just going fine, until...
___ said that i needed an attitude change and that ___ would be angry with me until i changed it. but how am i supposed to know whats wrong with me if you wont even tell me! sometimes its just so difficult. i try to find people to share some warmth and love with, just because something is wrong inside my family. i shant tell and for those who already know, juz understand. im not complaining; someone else is already doing so. everytime i smile, i know its just fake laughter. its not genuine happiness. happiness lies elsewhere. but i must remain happy, for it is God who created me and wants me to be happy. but i cant. really. i dwell on how that person thinks of me.
____'s angry with me. i spent a week trying to ponder about what ___ said, starting from teh day when ___ smsed me. do i act childish? do i act cute? i really wish to know. maybe as i said in my PSL interview, sometimes i juz ponder too much what others say to me. ive asked around;nobody else says that i need an attitude change. nevermind, enough emo-ing for the day. D=
i really want a violin. to LEARN IT. i love it when people play the violin. its so cool. nah, i dont like the guitar like others do. i love the violin. and i love ryan's violin too. =D ryan's damn pro. he's sec 1 and he's DIP. gosh. =( doubt he will even come across my blog anw. and i juz realized that hong yin's quite nice. =/
although he isnt cute at all. if he were to be pronounced as cute, i think i will drop dead right away. anw. you knwo what. my dad says that i can compare prices of VIOLINS in singapore and if i ever do go to hk this dec hols i can see the prices there and maybe i can BUY A VIOLIN. OH GOSH. I LOVE YOU DADDY. DA DIDI DUM! =D yay. im happy once again. =D.
shant think abt that horrible person who made me unhappy.___'s going to play the flute for fellowship next sunday. shall puke at the sight of ___. sigh.
Friday, August 17, 2007
okay. so i decided to say what happened ytd. i didnt have time to post ytd coz i was too busy playing with my...
self. lol. no lah. i was too busy talking to my aunt coz she was leaving the next day last night which means that she has already left singapore in the morning. =D lalala. i like confusing people. XD its the works of CLEOPATREVA!!!!!! cleopatra+eva. lol. sounds lame. nvm then. xD and oh. i wanted to say that ytd, during xiaozu, my
horribleSL, LEE JIA YING, draw-er of the melange de musique HMP concert on 12 Aug 2007. =D which was nice. =D half. =/ if you get what i mean, which i think you don't! xD wahaha. i like laming away and dragging the conversation far far away from what i was goign to say. and so, my SL arranged the seating arrangement adn guess what! im in the FRONT SEAT. coz im the youngest. anw, then mr lee mentioned sth abt river valley and dunman. their seating arrangement is like that. the seat that im given is supposed to be for the laziest person who does not practice in teh section. POOF! irritating and insensitive. hmph. then my snrs started looking at me. ESPECIALLY TRICIA. D= i do practise okay, and i bet that i practice more than jiamin and xiong yue and gong yuan. who are the other sec ones in my section who play the cello. in fact, i just practised anw. seems like the front seat 首席isnt that horrifying though. =D anw, special thanks to ZIMIN for helping me persuade jiaying to change my seat and put me far behind which didnt succeed but thanks for the effort anw. xD
and oh, today shi yan said she wanted to learn ballet after watching the 90th anni. musical. lol. then huihan said she wanted to too. LOL. then i realized that HUIHAN and I have the same wiishes to learn the same things. the VIOLIN and BALLET. lol. actually i don really want to learn ballet. i want to learn DANCE. =D
anw. i gtg now. i have done NOTHING that benefits my life. so long then, farewell.
i am nothing. for somebody out there in the world is angry with me. and therefore i see no point in refining myself for this person is the person whom i trusted and loved most. =(
Friday, August 10, 2007
Thursday, August 9, 2007
kinda being lame again. here.
You should learn Russian
You should learn Russian. You like to be able to speak to people wherever you travel if even just a little bit. You are smart enough to learn this language and have the patience to follow through with it.
|
|
Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com
|
You are Cleopatra
Beautiful and Charming. You are able to persuade anyone to do anything you would like, because of your hotness and charisma. You are an expert in gaining power over anyone you choose.
Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com |
LOLOLOL cleopatra AGAIN .=D
gosh gosh. only my 35th post. =( and im damn screwed for ALL my homework. shant be so slack!!!!!!! gosh gosh. i GOTTA finsh all my homework tmr. NO COMP. gosh. everytime i on my laptop i start surfing the net and stuffs and doing all sorts of things i shouldnt be doing. D=[ argh. i hate myself. anw. i found this quiz.
yeah. kinda weird. i entered 'eva' and it came out as "tastes like fried chicken" and then i entered a few more names and it said that they taste like fried chicken too. =/=/. this is utter randomness. whatever. sleeping. byebye
lalala____not going to edit my home econs post. coz i dun feel that irritatedness anymore. hahaha. anw. had cross country ytd. nth much. after that went kfc with josephine. and bought famous amos cookies. josephine kept saying she's a cheapskate person. she isnt =D then i went home. and SLEPT. oh gosh. havent been so tired. yeah. i woke up at night, did my LA and slept again. GOSH GOSH GOSH. =( im so horrible. anw. off to do my homework so that i can go out for the rest of the hols. =D
Tuesday, August 7, 2007
HOME ECONS OFFICIALLY SUCKS
the thread juz DIED on me. for the THOUSANDTH time. =( lol. ignore this post first. im going to edit it later but not now. =D
Monday, August 6, 2007
answers to the 5/8/07 riddle : your days are numbered.
Answer:
A Heart Beat
The heart's rhythm is controlled by the sinoatrial node (the heart's pacemaker), which sends out electrical charges through the heart that cause it to contract. The heartbeat can be seen on an EKG, felt as a pulse by the fingertips, & heard with a stethoscope.
and oh
today was a sucky day. morning started out fine. but there was chem test. was quite okay actually. think they're quite lenient already. but i got one qn wrong. i thot brass was made up of iron and zinc, but it was made up of COPPER and zinc. =( boohoo. but its only 1 mark. i COULDNT draw the atoms and molecules in the last qn.=( didnt know how to. so in the end i juz anyhow draw lor. i miss sabbats. =( anw. today i was rendered late for assembly coz for some reason we were supposed to be in the audi by 12.55pm. what the hell lor. i had lunch prac and our snrs refused to let us off early. the councillor said that our monitress should have told us to be there by 12.55.. WTF! STUPID WANG QING DIDNT EVEN SAY ANYTHING HAVING TO DO WITH ASSEMBLY. if i get a bad record, im going to SUE! grah. and ________ had a pissed look. =/ am horribly saddened. =((( so good day. bye bye.
Sunday, August 5, 2007
okay. this post is again dedicated to my beloved gor. <3 since he asked me what Po stands for in the periodic table last night, i shall test him. okay. here goes.
YOUR DAYS ARE NUMBEREDUbiquitous rhythm,
Paced by a charge,
On and on it goes
Until day is done.
Testimony of life
To be seen, felt, and heard,
Only a cold man
Slumbers without one.
there. =D
the answers will be posted tmr. now i shall go mug for my chem =D
Saturday, August 4, 2007
yay! my 30th post. which i shall dedicate to my beloved gor gor. =D
pigso...
jia qiang
jia qiang
jia qiang
jia qiang
jia qiang
jia qiang
jia qiang
jia qiang
jia qiang
jia qiang
jia qiang
jia qiang
jia qiang
jia qiang
jia qiang
jia qiang
jia qiang
jia qiang
jia qiang
jia qiang
jia qiang
jia qiang
jia qiang
jia qiang
jia qiang
jia qiang
jia qiang
jia qiang
jia qiang
jia qiang
yay! 30 of his big big names. =D
to mark this wonderful anniversary. =DDDDDDDDDDDD
<333333333333333333333333333333333
lalala.
lalala.
quiz that i stole from xintong who stole them from ziwei! XD
3 things in your wallet/purse:
1. money
2. plasters
3. that 'penzai' that i cut out and that ziwei drew faces on to make creatures
Name 3 things you do when you're really stressed:
1. cry myself to sleep
2. stone
3. scream at my mother =O
Name 3 favorite fruits:
1. no particular ones
2. i hate veggies, not fruits
Three names you go by:
1. eva? [pronounced 'eeee-vah']
2. 'air-vah'
3. 文文 [restricted to family =D]
Three things you are wearing right now:
1. shirt
2. skirt
3. contacts
Who is in the house with you?
mum [dad went out to buy waffles for her =/]
Who was the last person to IM you?
1. er, i forgot, it was last night
2. i think it was jason. =D
Who are you thinking about right now?
1. jia qiang =D
2. jason, since i mentioned him in the last qn
Who did you last talk to on the phone?
my dad
Whose birthday is next?
michelle's! =D
Who were you with last night?
my parents
Where is your phone?
im holding it
Where do you sleep?
on my bed, duh. where else do u want me to sleep?!
Where did you get the shirt you're wearing?
i bought it from BUM Equip
Where is the last place you took a ride to?
AMK Hub
What kind of cell phone do you have?
Nokia
What are you excited about?
1. church tmr. GOSH! I JUST REALIZED I HAVENT FINISHED SOMETHING THAT MY SUNDAY SCHOOL TEACHER WANTS US TO! UH OH...
What is the closest item near you that is blue?
the task bar of my laptop?
if that isnt an item, then my pilot G2 pen bah
Whats your favorite shoe brand?
nike and puma =D
What song do you currently hear?
nothing. the house's exceptionally quiet. coz im supposed to be studying for science.
When did you meet your best friend?
just now =D
When did you last go to the mall?
just now?
When did you last burn a candle?
is this question random or is there some hidden agenda?
CREDITS TO XIN TONG AND ZI WEI
Friday, August 3, 2007
i like sabbats. both food chem and squash. erm. and for squash. dont THINK abt boys. okay? good. im embarrassed enough today already. it is SO SO DAMN DAMN stupid. D= okay. so here goes. i was
walkingwe normally run and have been running for the past 4 days to hci. and on the way...
i was WALKING very NORMALLY when... pauline suddenly talked abt MUSHROOMS GROWING ON THE GRASS. near the sidewalk. and she asked me to see. so naturally, i went to see it. but i was damn damn careless
im not usually that careless...or am i? and i think i stepped somewhere off the sidewalk onto the ROAD FOR THE CARS. and therefore, i fell! i had a big big cut. D= and pauline and alicia, jaslyn and hui han were like SCREAMING. they yelled to shi yan and le ting who were walking ahead of us. and they both ran back to look at me. and they screamed too. and AS USUAL, they said that i was despo and i was doing that to attract attention. D= so horrible.
no lah, they're not that bad =D they asked me if i was okay or not =D yayness and i forgot who said that i should have fainted and hc guys would come running and perform mouth to mouth resuscitation. hmph. i wont accept it. i would probably die at the smell of them. =/ rmb, i can still breathe. =/
and so, i shouted that i wasnt hurt. haha. then all of us were making up a story to explain how we were late. we werent. the coach wasnt even there yet. =/ the story went something like...
i fell down. and there was blood. and le ting fainted at the sight of the blood. so we had to call an ambulance...(i forgot the middle part, those present at the injury scene, pls call my number and inform me =D)...and alicia was overly ambitious and tried to carry all of us, but she dropped all of us. haha!
so we played squash after that, and i won 5 games out of 6. =O. so sad. i lost the last game. to jaslyn. i was tired, i guess. TWO GAMES. i won le ting 9-8, and i won alicia 9-8 too. so damn close lah. so scary. oh yeah. and there was once i tried to receive le ting's ball and my knee slid on the floor lor. so painful. so after that le ting and alicia accompanied me to the toilet to wash up. stupid hwa chong. so big also so little ladies toilet. dammit. i like their diet coke vending machine. =O
and yeah. i got the best marker award. =D lalala. i feel high. =D yay.
kyme loves everybody, including ppl who dislike her, because HE first loved kyme. =D
P.S. my dad says my wound looks like a 50cent coin. but when i look at it in the full length mirrow i think it looks more like a heart! but pus is oozing out still. EWW. anw. im going to post somemore later. coz i really really really need to make up for the time i lost during sabbats. i practically slept right after i reached home and took out my contacts.i slept till dinner. after dinner, i slept again. such a curly wriggly pig. ehh. wrong. curly wriggly is for earthworms. D= nope. a tall lightweight pig?? do they exist?????? =D
btw, my mum's over protective. =/
