Once upon a time, There lived a twisted little girl. Her thick hair hung over her shoulders, her tired shoulders that have been carrying the weight of the world. Her eyes were circled with apathy. Though she was relatively small for her age, She was cursed with a heart that could overturn the highest mountains.

She had always forgotten to smile. All her life, All she knew was pain. Whether big problems, or small problems, A problem was a problem. She kept her feelings in a bottle. A glass bottle, That was so fragile. She had always wished someone would push her over, So that this bruised and battered bottle would shatter, And these haunted thoughts would fly away and leave her alone. Forever.

But No one knew this bottle existed. No one even cared.

Except one,

The one that stole the pieces of her heart.

He was strange. But he was magical in his own way. They would spend hours together, Talking about how the world was so twisted and evil. They would talk about their past, Their dreams for the future. And somehow, They'd involve each other in their future. But she knew no matter how far they'd planned to be together, they would never.. really.. be together. It was all just empty promises that filled her with false hope and temporary joy. But she knew exactly what she was getting into. She was creeping into this hole but she couldn't avoid it. She was dragged into the hole.

She would sit with him everyday and listen to him moan and complain about his significant other. About how he was always being mistreated, She knew if she had the chance, She would treat him way better than that whore. But She knew she would never have that chance. Though her heart was filled with jealousy and envy, She held it all in. She was grateful for being in his presence. She savoured every moment, She pretended like it didn't mean a thing to her. When really, It was killing her inside.

Days past, And the wretched glass bottle became heavier with thoughts and letters that would never be read. No one could ever know. This secret she'd been living with. The root of her pain.

And then he finally said it. The words she'd been waiting a lifetime to hear.
"I love you. "

And then he ended it with the last few words she'd wish she never had to bear.

".. Just not in that way. Never in that way."

Now She can't find the strength to carry this stupid glass bottle anymore. If only someone would shoot her down, So she could die and the bottle will shatter. Everyone will finally know.

Bam.

I really need to pee. But its ok, with my amazing bladder, I'm able to finish this post first :D

So today was the last day of finals. Fuck that, I'm gonna tell you bout the most random, realistic dream I had last night.

So it was like this, I was in school. And for some reason I was deaf. Dunno why,

So yeah. I kept talking to people and calling them out but no one heard or responded. And after calling for so long, I realised that they couldn't even see me. And THENNN..

This form 1 girl looked me in the eye. And obviously I became excited cause if she looked me in the eye, she obviously could see me. So I begged her to help me but she refused. and then i realised ALL the form 1s could see me. But they were.. scared. And while all of this was going on, I got my sense of hearing back :p

So apparently, There had been random deaths happening around. I was one of the MANY people who died. And yeah, I knew this cause I saw a flyer on some wall.

And then out of nowhere, Geral appeared AND SHE COULD SEE ME!

I don't remember what happened after that. But the reason she could see me was cause of this best friend bond. hahahah. awwww...

And then POOF and we appeared in this room, Just Geral, Rosh and I. I dunno where Rosh came from, She probably had the bf bond thing too :p

And I asked them how I died, And they said Vatsala was playing the drums in my house and the stick accidently pierced into me and I died from massive blood loss =/

And then we laughed about it. haha.

And then there was this concert that was dedicated to all the people who died randomly. Jonathan was singing 'My life would suck without you' with Kelly Clarkson on stage. And I remember him stealing the show :p

And yeah. At that moment, I felt reallly... happy but sad to leave.

(I swear to God, This dream made A LOT of sense while I was sleeping)

It got me thinking, Shit, How is death really like?

___________ Back To Reality ____________

Someone just walked out of my life. And I think my pee just evaporated cause I don't feel like peeing anymore =/

Today was just so. Unexpected.

So last night, I imagined myself just... wasting away today and sleeping in till the next morning. The exams have drained out every bit of my sanity. Like history, I studied my ass off. And everything I focused on, Didn't come out. and That disappointment just drives me crazy. even for add maths and other shit subjects. I've been focusing most on physics so I hope that works out.

That was out of topic.

Anyways, Today.

Geral came up to me in the morning, Telling me she's coming to my house and that we're playing badminton. How sweet of her to tell me ON THE DAY ITSELF.

Few minutes later, Vatsala comes up to me and tells me we're all playing futsal at 4. Coincidently the same time as badminton. And ya know, I love Geral to death so I didn't blow her off. But I really really reallaaayy wanted to play futsal.

So I thought ok, 4-5 I'd play badminton, And 5-6, Futsal. But badminton got so intensed that everyone just didnt wanna move. So we didn't get to play futsal :( and that kinda fucked up my mood a little. lol. But I'm ok.

ANYWAYS. came home, asilla and geral didn't wanna leave me alone. hahaha. Nah, they just went home late.. after they left, i just.. collapsed on my bed. And somehow, fell asleep while texting someone. And I got a random call from Nadia, telling me to save up for Sunway and I don't know what I said. But I felt so awake after that. And yeah. Here I am. Forced to blog, Yet again by Geral. Hi Geral.

I'm gonna go look for food now, Bye

Hello world. Or maybe just Geraldine. Since she's the only one who still bothers coming here. I think the last time I blogged was in.. July? I have matured drastically these past few months. Geral says I'm different. I think I am. I don't know how but I feel different. And It's a good change. I don't blog as often not because I have nothing to blog on but because it's kinda awkward. I'm typing this shit down, in hopes that someone will read it. It's like an imaginary friend. Kinda creepy if you think about it... But whatever. Awkwardddd....

Anyways,

Finals are going on right now. I'm not in panicked, I'm bored. This feels like a bloody drag. We're sitting for 10 subjects, 20 papers. its ridiculous. I'm so fucking tired! I slept the whole day today and just.. wasted away. Well fuck finals.

So relationships.

I've been... re-evaluating everything about my life. My family, Friends. I've come to realise that my family is actually.. Quite fucked up. Extremely selfish and just in over their heads. How I wish I could just walk out into a different world sometimes. But their lies and hypocrisy runs deep in my veins.

Friends, Well, they're the best things in my life right now. I used to feel invisible but now I just.. don't give a shit, I'm going with the flow. I'm not that hard to push over now I guess. If you don't give a shit, Neither do I. end of story. Life is good.

Boys. Pffft. They'll forever remain a mystery. Well they're not that hard to figure out. If they want something, then they want it bad. But most of them don't know what they want... But still want it bad. Makes sense? Hell no.

Like I said, I don't give a shit anymore. I'm not gonna wait by the phone for your pathetic excuse of a text message.

So it's the month of October,

I'm so bloody broke. Shannon's and Josh's on the 4th, Brother's bday on the 6th, Cousin's bday on the 10th, Aunt's bday on the 15th, Jasmeet's on the 18th, Haris's bday on the 20th, Mom's on the 21st, Roshinni's on the 22nd, Giuli's on the 28th, Ram's on the 29th AND IT GOES ON AND ON AND ON. ok, I didn't buy ANY OF THEM presents YET. just wait, I'll use my first pay check on them :)

That brings me to the topic about my NEW JOB. Not exactly my FIRST job since I was sort of a tutor last year. I got paid 30 bucks an hour for helping 5 year old geniuses with english. It was fun. Some kids were creepy, but kids are always creepy.

Anyways, I'm working in GSC, Mid Valley. I start on the 15th. To be honest, I'm quite embarrased to work there. EVERYONE GOES THERE. and I'm gonna be in this white shirt, behind a counter, with a constant fake but welcoming smile on my face saying "hello sir, what movie? how many tickets? thank you come again" WTFFFFF. I'd rather work in watsons where they pay more. but then I have to wear this purple nurse looking shit which is more wtf. and I guess a cinema will be fun to work in laa.. catch people making out on camera, Not that I find pleasure in it but yea :D doesn't happen everyday!

So yeah. I'm done here. Till next time.