So much has happened, and I just don't seem to find the time/desire to write it down. I decided that I probably ought to at least post something about the BIG events in my life. My Bailey Ann turned 8 in April and was baptized on May 14. It was a wonderful day for her, and it was so good to see her happy and smiling. She is such a good girl, I love her to pieces and am so proud of her. She is an amazing girl.
I got a phone call from her school telling me that she fell off the monkey bars and they thought her arm was broken. I was mortified. I work SO far away and I couldn't just be there for her. My mom picked her up from school and they waited for me to get to her house. I took her to the instacare, and sure enough, she broke both bones just above the wrist.... She had to wait a week, then on June 1, she got a hard cast on. She opted for the water proof cast so she could still go swimming.
The other Big news is that I was finally able to buy a house! I am in a wonderful neighborhood and an amazing house. I have put new carpet and hardwood floors in. I am now working on the walls. I have a crew there skimming the walls so they will be nice and smooth instead of textured. That was not a planned thing, but the walls were ruined after I took off the chair rail to paint, so I didn't really have a choice! They look great though! I'm not looking forward to all the painting.......
That's really all I have for now.
So, there we were, sitting at the dinner table and watching Don't Forget the Lyrics. The final song was Don't Stop Believin' by Journey. The girl who was competing was singing along and then the lyrics stop and she has no clue what they are. Boston yells out, "hiding somewhere in the night"! I looked at her and started laughing then looked back at the tv, and sure enough, those were the lyrics. I looked at her again, and asked her how she knew that. Her response? She put her little hands up to her head and said, "I have visions. I just close my eyes and I can see it." What the...!?!
"Mommy, I wish we had a dad that lived with us."
From the mouth of my seven year old....it wasn't MY dad, but A dad. Every day is a new disappointment for them. I wish I could take it all away from them. I'm trying.
Why is it that children have the power to break your heart....? My sweet little Bailey said something to me that completely ripped me apart. The girls came home this morning from being at their dad's for the weekend, she kind of got quiet and was visibly upset, this is what she said, "I wish I could go back in time." When I asked her why, her response was, "I want to back to when you and dad were together."
I wish, so much, that I could give both of my girls the family life they want. I hope that one day they understand that I didn't want this for myself or for them, but as it turns out, all three of us are better off without him. Someday.....
It has been far too long since my last. Life keeps moving and I am just trying to keep up with it all. Bailey will be seven in two weeks and she has been counting down for the last four months. She keeps losing teeth, and currently has five holes in her mouth....I'm hoping the new ones come in soon! Boston is five and far too smart for her own good (they both are) and she is fearless...she has four different scars on her face to prove it! I've been dating someone for almost two months now, nothing serious, but FUN. I find myself a little bit lost when it comes to dating, I have to say, dating is much harder the older you get.
Although my divorce was final only 21 mos. ago, I have been alone for almost 4 years....it really is taking it's toll on me. I love my girls with all of my heart and wouldn't trade them for anything, that said, being a single mom is a challenge. I want to be a better mom, I want to be able to go with Bailey on her field trips, go to all of their school programs, I want to be there when they are hurt, sad, excited, when they win, when they lose....I want to be there for them always. We don't always get what we want from life, but I try to do as many of those things as possible. More than anything I want Bailey and Boston to know that there isn't anything I wouldn't do for them. I love you babies with all my heart!
