It has been a little crazy over this way for a few months and I am getting behind on my blogging! First things first, I have to blog about Carson's experience in London. This will be a two part post one getting my perspective and happenings at home and the other with his experiences in London! He's going to help me out with this one whether he likes it or not ;) My portion may be long. Sorry, I don't know how to tell short stories plus I want to get as much as I can of the experience down so I don't forget. I have the worst memory!
This all happened super fast. The first or second week of April, one of the Presidents of the company Carson works for contacted him about possibly sending him out to London to work and help train. He would be out there for just over two months. Carson of course asked if the kids and I could go out with him. They agreed as long as they could make it work and immediately started looking into sending us all out there. We were supposed to leave at the end of April! Only just a couple weeks to get things figured out! I kind of freaked out for a moment but then thought this would be a great experience for us. After looking into it, they told Carson it just wouldn't be financially practical to bring the whole family out especially in the short time frame. We'd have to get expedited passports for the boys and Carson's was up for renewal too not to mention finding a place big enough to accommodate us all for only two months was sort of a challenge. So they asked if he was still interested to go without us. They would pay to either allow me to travel there once and visit during the two months or for him to come home and visit. We thought about it and discussed it and prayed about it. We both just felt like this would be a great opportunity for him regardless if we were coming or not. Of course we were bummed the rest of us couldn't go but how can you turn down London!? We knew it would be hard not only for Carson to be away from us for that long but for me to be home alone with two young kids. I don't think we really understood just how hard it would be...for both of us! And I think we discredited the fact that two months actually is quite a long time!
We seriously had like two weeks to prepare. Not enough time for it all to soak in! The day before he left Carson was able to work a half day and we were able to spend some time as a family. We went to the zoo and then my mother in law watched the kids while just Carson and I went to dinner. It was such a nice day.
So the next day, off he went. It didn't hit until the kids and I were driving back home from dropping him off at the airport. Then I lost it and cried.
That first week was SO hard! I am used to Carson leaving on business trips for 4-5 days at a time so I thought the first week would be cake. I was wrong! It might have been the hardest. I think it was knowing that he wasn't going to be back at the end of the week like he normally is that made that first week so extremely difficult. It didn't help that Carson was now 7 hours ahead of us. I think this was hardest for him, especially on the weekends. He would be well into his day before we even woke up. Luckily we were able to Facetime every day. Crazy the technology we have these days! It would be SO much harder if we weren't able to talk "face-to-face". James was a little stinker and refused to talk to Carson for the first few weeks. This was really hard on Carson who was missing the family.
James really had a hard time with it all. Poor boy didn't understand what was going on and I think didn't know how to express his emotions. He wouldn't talk to Carson, as I mentioned and started being really aggressive and jealous toward Stockton. I gotta tell you, this whole experience was definitely a test on me as a mother and on my patience. It was rough. I realized James needed some one-on-one time with momma so my sister in law was so sweet to offer to watch Stockton while I took James out on a mommy and James date. Just the two of us. Honestly I hadn't done that since Stockton was born and I really should have. I think it is so important to do so especially when you bring a second child into the family. Now I was feeling it's importance more than ever. We went to Airborne in Draper and then got some ice cream. We both had a blast! It was much needed!
before our date. Isn't he handsome?
I also realized that James responds well to positive reinforcement so I decided to put together a "warm fuzzy" jar where if I notice a good behavior from James (ie eating his dinner, picking up his toys, helping mommy, and our biggest struggle- being nice to Stockton) he would get one fuzzy to put in his jar. If he filled it up, he could pick a toy from a number of inexpensive toys I bought and put up on the fridge for him to see. It worked so well! And continues to work still! There has been a significant change in his attitude and behavior. He is so much better with Stockton!
his first toy he earned!
While Carson was gone, we got our grass in! I know, you're thinking "Why in the world would she take that on while her husband is gone?" We had already scheduled our sod delivery and we were either going to move it up or push it back until Carson was back but we just weren't quite ready for it before then and didn't want to be putting in a yard in the dead heat of Summer, so we left it. We knew we had lots of family and friends/neighbors that would be more than willing to help. And they did! I can't even thank everyone enough! Carson hated not being able to be there to help.
BEFORE
AFTER
Amazing what a little curb appeal can do!
May had a lot going on. Of course there's Mother's Day but it is also my birthday. Day before Mother's Day this year actually! I'm not a huge birthday celebrator so I didn't think it would bother me too much that Carson wasn't here to celebrate my birthday with me but for some reason it was REALLY hard. It didn't quite hit me until that night. I cried haha. Mother's Day the next day was hard too. My sweet family and friends took care of me though those two days.
We went to Addie's play!
My beautiful flowers from Carson
This is my best attempt for a Mother's Day pre-church pic. By the way, church was awful that day- my kids were horrible so we had to leave early (happy Mother's Day to me!)
My sweet friend across the street gave me this yummy edible arrangement for Mother's Day since she knew Carson was gone. And here's the kicker, her hubby was ALSO gone at the time (and still is) and she has been without him for months! Talk about selfless. She made me cry!...I cried a lot during this experience ok!
I also had some other goodies brought to me from friends and family, all of which I appreciate so so much! I definitely felt the love.
Things we did to survive the month of May
My sister was so nice to let us crash their FHE one Monday evening at Thanksgiving Point. It was COLD! James absolutely adores my sister's boys and they are so good with him.
Went to Lisa's graduation!
I painted
Got to check out the new Curiosity Museum at Thanksgiving Point
My parents stopped by one night. James loved having Papa read to him.
lots of play dates with friends
I even got a couple girls play dates in without kids!
The first week Carson left, I thought it would be fun for James if we made a countdown chain....yikes! As I kept hooking more and more links together I got more and more discouraged haha. It ended up being sort of depressing rather than fun after it was all finished and I stretched it out and saw how long it was.
One day I got a brilliant idea. Carson had shown me pictures of the flat he was staying in and had dropped a pin so I could see it on a map so I thought it would be a great idea to send him a secret package. He knows I'm not techy whatsoever so I figured he wouldn't realize I got the address off of the pin. The only problem was that I didn't have the postal code and I had no way of slyly asking him for it so I used some detective work. I thought I was so sneaky. I went online to England's postal service website and you can just type in an address and it'll give you the postal code. Excellent! I typed in his address and not only got the postal code but up pops 8 different addresses for the one I put in, they each had a different apartment letter though. Dang! I didn't know his apartment letter and again, didn't want to blow my secret by asking for it so I almost gave up on the idea or thought about just sending it without an apt letter hoping it would find him. Then I decided to go through some of the pics he had sent me to see if by any small chance I could find something that would help me. Low and behold I noticed on one of them a small 'H' in the window of the front door. Yes! I was so happy I squealed and did a little happy dance. James immediately laughed at me and asked what I was doing. He was probably thinking my mom is so weird. haha
Our package contained some goodies from home, including popcorn :) a drawing from James and I, and a letter.
Luckily for us, Carson ended up not having to stay the whole 2+ months. He was there a total of 5 weeks. Longest 5 weeks of my life though. He'd probably agree. We were so excited to pick him up from the airport.
So many people stepped in and helped me while Carson was gone either with my kids or inviting us over for dinner or dropping dinner off. My mother in law came over a couple of times just to watch the kids so that Carson and I could talk uninterrupted. My sister also did this one day as well. Carson's brother and his wife came and hung out and had dinner with us and he mowed my lawn. I don't mean to sound cheesy but Heavenly Father used his earthly angels to help me in a desperate time of need.
While Carson was gone, I learned a lot about myself- individually, as a mother, and as a wife. This experience has definitely helped me become a better person. I am more grateful for my family and for my friends. I became closer to my Father in Heaven. I had to rely on Him every day. It forced me to realize I can't do everything on my own, that I need to let people help me. It helped me appreciate all that Carson does for me and for our family. You know the saying, distance makes the heart grow fonder, well it's true.
