So I have hinted around on here about the upcoming school year. I had to make some major decisions for my boys involving their school. And to say it stressed me out would be a serious understatement. It consumed me guys. For months and months. Agonizing over what was best. Let me give you the background. Our boundaries put us with Clinton Elementary. I loved it when we first moved in, Carson's first two years in the school were wonderful. I had heard quite a few stories from parents complaining about this or that and quickly realized that this school had a bit of a reputaion. I had no reason to think this, we were happy and fine but appearantly alot of people were not. A brand new charter school opened up right by Clinton the year Carson was supposed to start second. I kid you not, our entire neighborhood and ward pulled out of Clinton and tried to get into the charter. In fact a good chunk of the faculty at the Charter consisted of ladies in my very own ward. At the last minute I threw Carson's name in the lottery. However I could never get a good feeling about it. I had heard a lot of negative about charters and just didn't really think it was a good fit for our family. Another big reason I didn't want to was out of loyalty to a school that had always been good to my boy. I didn't want to jump on the bandwagon and do something just cause everyone else was. 2 days before Carson was supposed to start second grade the Charter School called. He got in. I declined. Couldn't get a good feeling. So I sent him off to Clinton. Clinton lost about 1/5 of its kids that year due to the new charter. I hate to say it but it was most of the good kids. The ones who come from families like ours. Good, strong families. And because of that Clinton had to let go of about 7 teachers. All the bright, new, young teachers. The ones most parents were hoping to get. It was the worst thing that could have happened to an already struggling school. The morale was just shot. A dark cloud seemed to hang over the school. And the worst part was they got rid of the only decent Kindergarten teacher. Not even kidding you guys, the two that were left were the worse of two evils. Horrible teachers. Horrible. I don't consider myself to be an overly dramatic parent, I know kids aren't gonna love every teacher they get but they're was no way in hell my Linc was going to either of those teachers. They have case after case of them being belittling and mentally abusive to the children. I honestly don't know how they are still teaching. So I knew Carson was safe for second, but I knew I had a big decision to make for the upcoming year. When Carson was in third and Linc in Kinder.
All year I struggled with what to do. The Charter seemed out of the question. Still couldn't get a good feeling, not to mention I had already declined it. So it left me two options. Get variances for both my boys. Or keep Carson at Clinton and get a variance for just Linc for just Kinder, and then bring him back to Clinton when he reaches first grade. My struggle was this...Carson 100% loved his school. I can honestly say he thrived there. I had fought each year to get him placed with the best teachers. He was smart. Above the curve. He is truly a teachers dream, just an all around good, good kid. I truly didn't worry about him. If it was just him, I probably would have just stayed. But my Lincoln. He's different. He has the most tender heart. And he is such a complex kid, a bad teacher or school could ruin him. And seperating them was never an option. And I hate to say this but the kids left at the school just weren't what I wanted for my boys. I would look around Carson's class and it looked like maybe 2 of them had had a shower that morning. I just didn't want my boys to be the one raising the bar, ya know. Just wanted a better environment for them. So I prayed and prayed and prayed and finally got the answer to move the two of them. There are 2 schools, relatively close to us. And both have wonderful reputations. So back in March I gathered the variance requests and put my boys names in for both schools. And then began the long wait.....they don't inform you until August whether or not you got in.
Finally 2 weeks before school was to start, we heard back from West Clinton. They both got in!! To say I was relieved doesn't even begun to describe it. We were ecstatic. And the best part is my sister got her two kids in as well. Even better, Linc and Elle got the same teacher, both AM.
But my anxiety was not yet over. I knew Linc had this. His cute new teacher seemed amazing, plus he had Elle. Plus its Kinder. All the kids go in not knowing each other and being a little nervous. I knew he would be fine. But this boy...my Cars. I was so nervous for him. He's a dang tough kid, and oh my heck is he likable. I knew in the end he would be just fine but I also know how hard it can be to be the "new kid". And sure enough those first couple of weeks were hard. For both of us. He tried his best to put on a brave face and be optimistic but I know my boy. He wasn't himself. He was quiet and withdrawn. He would get home and be his happy little self but every morning before school, I could barely get him to talk to me. He would give me this sad little fake smile, and say he was just tired. I had this huge pitt in my stomach, knowing it was more than that. Finally one morning about 8 days into the year, as I was walking him in. He clung tighter and tighter to my hand, I looked down and saw tears filling his eyes. I walked Linc to his class and decided right then and there me and my oldest needed a little breakfast date. So we left the school and drove to good ol' mcdonalds and had a little heart to heart. My sweet boy. He just cried and clung to me. And of course being the wimpy mom I am, I cried right along with him. He reassured me that no one was being mean. He loves his teacher. Likes all the kids. Everyone is really nice. He just felt so alone. He misses all his old friends. Didn't know what to do at recess. Just felt really lonely and nervous all the time. Now all you moms out there, you know what that feels like. Like someone just kicked me in the gutt. Pretty much breaks your heart. I did my best to say what needed to be said in the moment. I told him how much I loved him. How likeable he is, all the amazing qualities he has that instantly draws people in. I told him I believed with all my heart that he would make new friends. Told him that it just takes time. Shared experiences of my own life where I have felt the same way. Told him how proud I was that he was there trying every single day to do something so hard. By the time it came to pick up Linc, he was feeling ready to go back. He forced a smile on his little face, and said "ok, I can do it". And off he went, just a few hours later. And slowly but surely my boy is coming around. The light is back in his eyes. He comes home every day telling me about new friends and new experiences and has even claimed that he "just loves third grade". Guys, I can't tell ya how relieved I am. I had a dear friend remind me , that if the decision was right when you first prayed about it, its still right. Even when the pressure mounts, and things feel hard. Ride the course, have faith and see the beauty that is waiting to unfold. It was a life lesson for me and for him. Teaching him that he can do hard things, that he is strong and capable and can come in to his own. Teaching me to never doubt what I knew to be right. Have faith and trust in the answers to my prayers, even when it feels as if I am questioning them.
My Lincoln boy. Only one out of my three, that I can honestly say hasn't even skipped a beat. He loves school. Loves his class. Loves his little friends. Wakes up every day with a little pep in his step. Heck the kid even loves homework, begs to do it the minute he gets home!
Couple days into the new year, and Drake bug had his back to school night. Oh friends. My Drakey. I just had no idea what to expect. This is the kid that hasn't made it through nursery a day in his life. He cries so hard he hyperventilates. Honestly the only people I have ever left him with is my mom, my mother in law and Ashley. Thats it. So I was pretty worried about him.
Weirdly enough, he was super excited. All day long he waited to go meet "Miss Missie". He was so mad that we had to go to the grocery store, and then run to the mall, and then to pick up Cars and Linc. All he wanted to do was just go "see miss Missie".
Got in there and he was such a little goofball. First he wouldn't talk to anyone, scowled at the other kids. Finally said a few words to Miss Missie but it was in this loud, robot-like voice. And then we were outta there. And then he got home with his little treat bag and folder and he talked non stop to his brothers about how much fun he had. It was bizarre.
Just a cute pic I snapped of these two one morning. Kinda think its adorable watching them run side by side into their school. Grateful everyday they have each other.
Then came Drake's first day. Shocked the crap out of me. He was so excited all morning long. Linc is morning Kinder, so we pick him up, have a quick lunch and then go and take Drake for afternoon preschool. Drake had jumped in the bathtub and then carried his back pack around all morning waiting to go to school. I kept thinking he must just not understand that I am leaving him there, otherwise he surely wouldn't be so excited. Well we got there, they had playdough layed out for all the preschoolers. He saw that and that was it. Looked right at me, said "bye mom". And sat down and started playing. I stood there in shock and finally was like well I guess I'll leave. Picked him up and he was full of stories. By far the most talkative out of all of them. He happily told me every last detail of his day. The next day went down the exact same way. But then things took a turn. Not really sure why. But the past three times he has whined and even cried when I drop him off. Maybe I am being kinda mean, but I honestly don't have much patience for it. Cause preschool is nothing but happy. His teacher is amazing. She is so dang kind and sweet and loving. And basically he gets to go and sing songs, and eat treats, and color soooooo I am kinda like "suck it up drake". His teacher says he only fusses for the first 5 minutes and then he is happy as can be. And by the time I come back for him he is all smiles again. So I don't know. I hope he just figures it out in the next couple weeks. We shall see....
All in all this new school year has kinda rocked my world. For some many dang reasons. The stress of the new school. Lincoln entering Kinder. Not to mention my baby being in school now too. Its been a little emotional for me, sending my last little one out into the world for a short time. Feel like I have hit this parenting milestone, where all my kids are officially "big kids". Its been weird, and I'm not gonna lie I am still adjusting. Not to mention, between having three kids all on three very different school schedules. Basically feels like all I do is drive around picking up kids and dropping kids off. We are still very much trying to adjust, but I like to think we are all getting there.....
