So much has happened in the last 3 years since I last blogged. 

Gotten my own place, changed my last name,.. This is the life I wanted. It made me happy. I am happy don't get me wrong. Very happy indeed.

But somehow... some happiness is not forever. The curse that I'm born with, is here to ruin everything again. I thought once I left, the curse cannot be back to haunt me. I'm wrong.

Time and again it will never go away. It will always haunt me.

If I lose my family, I've no one else to blame. It's all because of the curse.

All because of the curse!

The happy family is outside. I'm not anywhere near. So happy. They're so so happy without me.

In the end, pain is still the best resolve.

This is the day where I'll change my name to be someone else's surname.

Having mixed feelings. But hopefully this "new" life will be smooth sailing n problem free. (:

1/7/2013 is the second saddest day of my life. ):

How can I convince you

What you see is real
Who am I to blame you
For doubting what you feel

I was always reachin'
You were just a girl I knew
I took for granted
The friend I had in you

I was living for a dream
Loving for a moment
Taking on the world
That was just my style
Now I look into your eyes
I can see forever
The search is over
You were with me all the while

Can we last forever
Will we fall apart
At times it's so confusing
The questions of the heart

You followed me through changes
And patiently you'd wait
'Till I came to my senses through
Some miracle of fate

I was living for a dream
Loving for a moment
Taking on the world
That was just my style
Now I look into your eyes

I can see forever
The search is over
You were with me all the while

Now the miles stretch out behind me
Loves that I have lost
Broken hearts lie, victims of the game
Then good luck, it finally struck
Like lighting from the blue
Every highway's leading me back to you

Now at last I hold you
Now all is said and done
The search has come full circle
Our destinies are one

So if you ever loved me
Show me that you give a damn
You'll know for certain
The man I really am

I was living for a dream
Loving for a moment
Taking on the world
That was just my style
Then I touched your hand
I could hear you whisper
The search is over
Love was right before my eyes

Survivor - Search is over



sometimes love really comes to you in the least expected way. open your heart and mind, keep your options open!!

you will never know the returns.

Same bed, but it feels just a little bit bigger now

Our song on the radio, but it don't sound the same
When our friends talk about you all that it does is just tear me down
Cause my heart breaks a little when I hear your name
And it all just sound like uh, uh, uh

Hmmm too young, too dumb to realize
That I should have bought you flowers and held your hand
Should have gave you all my hours when I had the chance
Take you to every party cause all you wanted to do was dance
Now my baby is dancing, but she's dancing with another man.

My pride, my ego, my needs and my selfish ways
Caused a good strong woman like you to walk out my life
Now I never, never get to clean up the mess I made
And it haunts me every time I close my eyes
It all just sounds like uh, uh, uh, uh

Too young, too dumb to realize
That I should have bought you flowers and held your hand
Should have gave all my hours when I had the chance
Take you to every party cause all you wanted to do was dance
Now my baby is dancing, but she's dancing with another man.

Although it hurts I'll be the first to say that I was wrong
Oh, I know I'm probably much too late
To try and apologize for my mistakes
But I just want you to know
I hope he buys you flowers, I hope he holds your hand
Give you all his hours when he has the chance

Take you to every party cause I remember how much you loved to dance
Do all the things I should have done when I was your man
Do all the things I should have done when I was your man



just so so hooked to this song right now!

I hate that it's not normal. What's so great about what's across.