07 agosto 2012

Chemical & Plastic Planet

I'm in Philadelphia spending a bit of time with my brother. Amidst enjoying some fine local music, some amazing local food, helping with some home projects, and being back in a city with good public transportation, I've been watching a few documentaries my brother found enlightening. Thus far the list has included "Bag It," "Chemerical," and "Plastic Planet." It's been more than a bit disturbing and mind-opening.

After a myriad of facebook posts, a friend wrote "I'm not necessarily the observant type, but I get the feeling that you dislike plastic." Thus, I've decided to blog some of my finding instead of bombarding the facebook world.

Here are the links to the films & such:

Chemerical

Bag It

Plastic Planet

Here are some links to products that don't leach the toxins plastic does (i.e. are not plastic) and don't contain other strange chemicals that are carcinogenic and such. I need to look more into some natural cosmetic options and make some household cleaners. See Chemerical the film for more info:

Cotton Produce Bags
Cotton Gauze Produce Bags
Organic Cotton Produce Bags
Cotton Produce Bags
Cotton Produce Bags
Cotton-Hemp Produce Bags
Re-Use It Array of Produce Bags
Amazon's List of "Cotton Produce Bags"

Cotton "Sandwich Bags"
Cotton "Sandwich Bags"
Cotton Sandwich Bags & Other Eco-Friendly Products

Metal Lunch Box/ Food Storage
To-Go Metal Lunch Packs
Metal Tiffin Lunch Boxes
BPA Free Food Storage
Amazon's Array of Stainless Steel Food Storage

BPA Free Glass Water Bottles
BPA Free Glass Water Bottles
BPA Free Glass Water Bottles

Ceramic Cookware
Amazon's Enameled Cast Iron Cookware

Here are some helpful websites with a myriad of info:

My Plastic Free Life

THe Chemerical Cookbook - Tons of Cheap, Toxic-Free Home Cleaning Recipes

My Story... Your Story... Our Stories...


Hebrew











For most of the summer I have spent hours memorizing vocabulary, translating sentences, and learning the various paradigms for verbs, adjectives, and nouns, all of that in Hebrew. While some of that has been tiring and grualing at times, it has been WONDERFUL.

I've been struck by God's faithfulness, by his nearness, and his goodness, as we've translated snippets from Genesis, the Psalms, and other parts of the Old Testament, or Tannakh. There has been something wonderful about learning and reading the same language that Jesus, Moses, and the Prophets read and spoke and wrote. There have been various concepts and words whose matices I've gleaned some insight. And I'm excited to learn all the more.

That being said, just as when I studied Greek, it has been affirmed in studying Hebrew that the English and Spanish Bibles we use are accurate and well-translated. Yet I still see the benefits of being able to study the Bible in its original texts and to use the various resources that studying the original languages opens.

List: Films

In an effort to clean up and update my blog, I'm updating a few lists. The Movie list is first, most of which were seen over a year ago.

Somewhat "Recent" List of Movies

My Name Is Khan (Dir: Karan Johar - 2010, India)
Fire (Dir: Deepa Mehta - 1996, India)
Amerrika (Dir: Cherien Dabis - 2009, India)
Exit Through The Gift Shop
127 Hours
The Fighter
Black Swan
Biutiful
The King's Speech
También La Lluvia (Even the Rain) - Iciar Bollain, 2011 - ESP, FR
Winter's Bone
The Kids Are Alright
Io Sono L’amore (I Am Love) - Luca Guadagnino, 2009 - IT
Love & Other Drugs
Step Up 3
the new Harry Potter
The Way
Donnie Darko
Narnia - The Dawn Treader
Blood Diamond
El Secreto de Sus Ojos
Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World
The Book of Eli
The Social Network
Slumdog Millionaire
Up In The Air
Little Miss Sunshine
La Vida Secreta De Las Palabras (The Secret Life of Words)
Babel
Munich
Green Zone
The Back Up Plan
Inception
Alice In Wonderland
American Beauty
Timer
The Reader
Man Push Cart
Life During Wartime
Food, Inc.
Kick-Ass
Somersault
Dear John

Selling God?


I came across this documentary film on Netflix at my brother's house. It may come at no surprise, but I'm not a huge fan. There are some benefits to having watched the film, but overall it made me fairly angry and frustrated.

Yes, it made some pretty low shots at Christianity and Evangelism. Obviously those who made the film think that evangelical Christianity, and likely religion as a whole, is absurd, or is merely a personal choice. Yet it bothered me because it made it seem as a mockery. It didn't ask the question of: What if it's all true?

Yes there are differing thoughts and problems with people claiming to be Christians. Yes there have been bigots and horrid people who claimed to know God's thoughts and did horrid things in his name. That is horid. That saddens me and as a church we need to acknowledge those things. Yet these people didn't actually do what the Bible taught. Yet Harvest Ministries, which the film highlighted from time to time, is a godly and great ministry that is not perfect, yet does practice what it preaches.

Imdb states: "Selling God is a whimsical look at the Contemporary Evangelical Movement. It offers a satirical perspective on the many absurdities that arise when religion and popular culture collide and features interviews with Dr. Noam Chomsky as well as many other scholars and religious leaders."

My problem with the film is that it seems a grave misrepresentation of Christianity, greatly undermining and ignoring WHAT it teaches.

It is true that in recent times much of the hype in Western, Evangelical "Christianity" has been political, revolved around the dates of the end times (including specific dates), enforcing morality, consumerism, and lots of things that are not actually the center of the Gospel. This is why it makes me frustrated. It makes me frustrated because the Gospel and Christianity are NOT all these things. It is not about all we are against. It is not just about saving souls.

It is about God restoring all things. It is much bigger that what it shows here. There are many scholars who would gravely disagree with the "scholars" in the film. I'm not quite sure where they got those in the film, but they don't represent evangelical Christianity. Instead they merely speak to the emotional, shady, televangelist christianity about which I too am skeptical. If the Bible taught the cooky, man-made hoax the film laid out as christianity, who would believe? Yet it doesn't. And I believe that God does in fact exist and is actually active.

Below are a few quotes I found disturbing and several thoughts of my own. I may try to return and write a bit more. This is just an initial response to the film. Feel free to leave comments of your own.

"Questions like, 'Why do bad things happen to good people?' is side-stepped by faith. you must have enought faith and everything will be alright... people have been convinced to believe without any proof..."

Yet... the Bible contains the book of Job (along with other large passages) which very much acknowledges the BAD things and EVIL in the world and that, yes, even happens to good people. How does faith side-step the question, if the very Bible contains a major book addressing it and that doesn't say 'don't worry, just believe.... or it must just be your fault.' In fact, the latter comment is what the friends of Job said to him and then were judged by God as foolish. It actually sounds more like Hinduism or Buddhism's response to that question.

Unlike the film said, I DO NOT think that God was happy by Hurricane Katriena nor does he hate the gays, nor the poor. HORRID. And horrid that people are so quick to judge. The book of Romans actually says that. It says that those who judge are just as in need as those who commit the sins that the judgers judge. They are equal. And both need a Savior. One is not righteous enough to save him or her-self.

Heaven - "Imported from Zoriastrianism into Judaism... The common view of heaven is strange... it's filled with all the things that people hate..." "There won't be any gays, anyone who's pro-choice, anyone who's ever lied... it will be a boring place of homosexual, republican men... Won't heaven be pretty close to most people's idea of hell?..."

My question is that why didn't they look at what the Bible might say about heaven. None of the above is actually on the Bible.

Women - The film alluded to women being oppressed by Christianity and yet Jesus was VERY affirming of women, as were the Old Testament laws,...

Hell - "For some, hell will be..."

Again, what does the Bible actually teach?

Prayer - "Prayer is like a 24-7... it's like God has nothing better than to hear people's flatteries... it's important to thank God but not the people doing most of the work... it seems like God is a cross between a butler and a sugar daddy..."

Faith - Is not blind faith. Is not believing in something without any proof. Is not ludicrus. Every word of the Bible is inspired by God.

Bible - We DO have a complete copy of the Bible. It hasn't been changed, it hasn't ben arbitrarily picked and chosen. We do have accurate copies of the texts. By far, it is one of the most accurate ancient texts we have today.

Skepticism of all "Secular" News Sources - "destroying the garden of eden by science," and the remarks of Jerry Faldwell, "don't take science, it'll destroy your faith..."

I wish the film would have looked at what the Bible actually teaches and what everyday Christians who are not those making the most noise and the most extreme strawmen. I don't think athiests, agnostics, and those of other religions are ignorant, evil, nor non-sensical. Nor do I think it is an accurate analysis of me. I do walk by faith, but also use my head. I believe God, but want to know as much as I can about the Bible and my faith.

I may not be a fan of Jerry Faldwell & Pat Robertson nor half the people in the film, but I am an evangelical Christian. If you did a real survey of American Christianity, you might find something very different than what you see in Selling God. Again, I do think that it raises some of the same questions friends and cousins of mine have raised.

"God is not arbitrary... MLK said, 'Any religion that is concerned about souls but is not concerned about the slums... is a dry religion... Religion is personal, but never private...'" YES! I agree!

"religion may be helpful, even if it is irrational..."
In my opinion, it is important as to whether or not it is true. It is not helpful, if it is merely just a fluffy pipedream.

The final commercial for Pat Robertson's diet shake should lead anyone to question half of what the film had actually being what the Bible teaches.

15 abril 2012

re-entry thought #14 - window screens

Window screens...

I know perfectly well why American windows have them, but I don't particularly like them. Detest is a strong word, but that is the word I want to use. Yes, I like no bugs inside. But I would rather endure the bugs of Missouri to have an uninhibited breeze of fresh air and an uninhibited view of nature. I prefer the brilliant colors of reality, not covered over with a layer of gray to keep out the buggies.

Screens make the outdoor view blurry and somehow make me feel trapped inside. I know that I'm using quite a bit of hyperbole, which apparently I do often, but it's the way I feel. I wish we could go to euro-no-screen-windows and shuddered windows. That's my longing for my adopted home.

I do love that the library has a window with no screen, which I tend to sit by and on occasion open. Not the most profound of posts... just some random rambling and homesickness.

29 marzo 2012

broken pots revisited

































































Tonight I was reminded of the light that shines forth from brokenness. We're not meant to be perfect now. Our brokenness is reality and good. Our put-togetherness is sometimes the precise thing which needs to be broken. I write these words and yet am highly aware that I only know a tiny bit of what they mean. O Lord, break me and make me, mold me as you see fit. Take the broken cisterns and the things I so easily cling to in place of you and restore my need and dependence on you alone.

emotions...

The good of this day filled with strong and not so comfortable emotions, is that I actually can identify what I feel and part of why without prejudging nor suppressing them. That is good. Now it's just a matter of processing through it, so that I can hear truth and experience growth and healing. Oh, emotions.

jealousy...

I guess it goes way back... both in me and in the world. Jealousy. No, not something I'm proud of... but, yes, it's the third major emotion I've felt today.

It's my dad's bday and my sister and her beau are in town. I've felt major insecurity and thus a bit on edge. I've felt trapped. And I feel jealousy mixed with insecurity. Even though I am in my thirties, I still want my dad to love me. And I still am afraid that he (and everyone else for that matter) likes my little sister better than me. It seems completely idiotic. But it is the way I feel. It is the predominant emotion right now. And somehow these crazy emotions are getting in the way of being as productive as normal. Yet, it is good to get to some of the root, so that hopefully I can figure out what idols are there and then see that God really is sufficient to meet the need I seek to meet elsewhere. And to believe again that Christ died and rose again for exactly this reason, for me and for us.

I am extremely grateful that the Gospel is true. I am extremely grateful that I can rest in knowing that I belong to Jesus. He has paid my way and given me his righteousness in exchange. So, if I'm a mess, I can run to him. I don't have to try to pretend it's really not that bad. Because it actually is way worse than I thought... and is way worse than I even know...

So my little chain of confessions is not to say "i'm a mess and will never change" but rather to say "Jesus, oh how I need you. Make me more like you. Rescue me. And thank you for loving me... knowing full well that this is just the surface of the wretchedness in me."

re-entry thought #14 - ahhh!!!

I guess it's normal, BUT I'm realizing that I'm not a huge fan of reverse culture shock. But then who would be. What I dislike is that every new thing I do, seems that much stranger... I suppose that can be true when you go to a new culture, you just don't expect it to be true of the place you were born.

Most recent strange place was the movie theater. I'd been to one movie this summer. But for some reason, I guess since it was only the second and the last was in August, it felt very strange. Popcorn was crazy expensive, the way you went about doing things was different. I don't know what was so weird. But it did feel weird. That and the fact that I didn't really know anyone well who I went to see this film with. I was thankful for the one person I did kind of know... Why am I like this all of a sudden? So insecure. That seems odd, unnormal, uncharacteristically me,... or that is what I thought...
Missing the sweets of Easter in Spain - Rosquillas... Torrijas...

feeling trapped...


Analyzing my emotions right now... I have a huge knot in my stomach, my body is tight, i feel anxious, and a bit fearful of being trapped.

So, what exactly do I fear? I fear being put down, being made feel like crap,... I don't understand. Why do I fear being trapped? I fear not being able to do what I want. I do fear feeling invisible and manipulated, yet without a voice, or only a voice that is defensive and reactionary... Really? This is how I feel? That is crazy.

I think the trapped part comes from feeling that I can't say anything. I just have to go with the flow and not have an opinion. If I do, I'll be told that I am self-centered, difficult, complicated, and that everyone else wants to do whatever it is. I will feel like an outsider, out of place, clumsy, un-cool,... and trapped, unable to be me, unable to talk about what I enjoy, unable to give my opinion,... for fear of stepping on someone else's toes, for fear of being hurt, for fear of being misconstrued. Yuck. No wonder I wanted to go far away... No wonder I was getting anxious... Yuck. There's definitely a bunch here to process...

why am i so anxious?

I don't generally think of myself as an anxious person. Most of the time I am not easily freaked out. Yet recently I've been delving into my reactions and relationships with my family and have noticed how anxious I can get. I get anxious when I expect someone to criticize me or find fault with me, particularly when I don't actually think I did anything wrong. I don't feel that way about just anyone, but only about those people whose opinion and approval I want and dare I say feel that I "need." So, in other words, family and those who I most want to approve me.

So, that's easy enough to identify. But then my seemingly irrational reactions, are the crazy part. When I am anxious, I am more on edge and more quick to strike back. When I am anxious, I am more defensive and more easily hurt, ironically. This mixture is disaster ready to happen.

And maybe I'm the only one who responds this way. I doubt it. Yet this is hopefully a place I will continue to grow, heal, and react better... I hope.

26 febrero 2012

Salmo 63

¡Dios mío, tú eres mi Dios!
Con ansias te busco,
pues tengo sed de ti;
mi ser entero te desea
cual tierra árida, sin agua, sin vida.
¡Quiero verte en tu santuario
y contemplar tu poder y tu gloria,
pues tu amor vale más que la vida!
Con mis labios te alabaré;
toda mi vida te bendeciré
y a ti levantaré mis manos en oración.

a simple prayer

Lord, high and holy, meek and lowly,

Thou has brought me to the valley of vision,
where I live in the depths but see thee in the heights;
hemmed in by mountains of sin I behold thy glory.

Let me learn by paradox
that the way down is the way up,
that to be low is to be high,
that the broken heart is the healed heart,
that the contrite spirit is the rejoicing spirit,
that the repenting soul is the victorious soul,
that to have nothing is to possess all,
that to bear the cross is to wear the crown,
that to give is to receive,
that the valley is the place of vision.

frustrated!!!!

Missing home...

15 febrero 2012

book lists - fall 2011

Here are some of the books I've read this past semester... i.e. Fall 2011 (there are some missing from the list, but there are all the ones that just came to mind)

The Help
Christian Spirituality - ed. Donald Alexander
The Healing Path - Dan Allander
Anatomy of the Soul
Perfecting Ourselves to Death - Richard Winter
Creation Regained
Strategic Pastoral Counseling - David G. Benner
The Pastor's Guide to Psychological Disorders and Treatments - Johnson & Johnson
The Call - Os Guinness
Transforming Grace - Jerry Bridges
Children of the Living God - Sinclair Ferguson
God Needs No Passport - Peggy Levitt
The Qur'an
A New Testament Greek Primer - Baugh
The Epic of Eden - Sandra Richter
The Spring Wind - Gladis DePree
Things Fall Apart
Words of Life - Timothy Ward
Creation Regained - Albert Wolters
He Gave Us Stories - Richard Pratt
Far As The Curse Is Found - Michael Williams
Proper Confidence - Lesslie Newbigin
Bible - Isaiah
Heart of Evangelism - Jerram Barrs
Learning Evangelism from Jesus - Jerram Barrs
Jesus + Nothing = Everythingre

walls...




































Over the past few weeks I've been thinking a lot about walls, specifically walls I put up out of self-protection, walls around my heart.

I tend to pride myself on being open and fairly transparent. YET I am coming to realize that at the sight of anyone being unsafe or uninterested I put up walls and leave them up until the subject is broached or they re-prove themselves to be safe and wanting to hear about my life. I'm not talking about strangers here, I'm talking about friends. I test the ground to see if it will hold and if there is any doubt, up come the walls. There are exceptions to the rule. Exceptions generally include people who need me, who thus can't really hurt me.

This may sound like pure craziness, but it is one of my broken cisterns I run to... self-protection. Unfortunately I have become quite resourceful and efficient in protecting myself from harm. I like not being sensitive nor getting hurt (and some of the walls are wise). YET it also prevents me from fully embracing life and friends.

Today a friend and I talked through a bit of our walls and some the broken places in our story, when we began to build the walls and when we do so. It was refreshing and freeing. She is a good friend who I value and care about, but with whom my walls have gone up. Ironically I think we've both done the same. I actually care what she thinks, so there is more risk. Yet somehow just talking and sharing our wounds and fears and sharing some real things going on has brought the wall back down, at least for now. It feels nice. And yet ironically it makes me long for deeper relationship. It makes me desire a husband and ultimately the intimacy that we won't experience fully until things are put to right. It also makes me miss my Spain and my dear friends who are so far away. Yet I would much rather feel life than have my senses numbed.

14 febrero 2012

book review - heart of evangelism

The Heart of Evangelism masterfully weaves together a balance of Scripture, life experience, and practical instruction. Barrs spurs personal life reflection, gently counters misconceptions within the church about evangelism, and sets forth a philosophy of evangelism. Honestly, it is the most complete and balanced book on evangelism I’ve ever read. Not only did it enrich my biblical framework for evangelism, but the Lord also used it to stop me again and again to reflect and examine my own life and heart. I wish I had read this book long ago.

There is much I could write in the way of application, yet a few points were particularly poignant to me. The other day I walked out of class infuriated about what I thought to be a misrepresentation of facts about Christianity in Europe, a place I love dearly. I was indignant both with the ignorance and the lack of action on the part of the church. As I began to journal and pour out my heart to the Lord, I found myself both questioning God’s judgment and also acting as if God wasn’t doing enough, in Barrs’ words, that he was “reluctant” in bringing people, specifically my parents, siblings, and Spanish friends, to faith. I found myself sitting in the first couple sessions of “Apologetics & Outreach” both with a broken heart for my family and friends and frustration toward the church for not acting and doing as I think it should. There was righteous anger and some valid concerns, but I was also acting out of self-idolatry. I was fearful that God wouldn’t do what I thought was right in the world and in the lives of those around me. It is thinking that my ways are better than God’s. It is forgetting who He is and how He has acted in history and in my own life.

In The Heart of Evangelism Barrs gently reminded me: “we become discouraged easily… But God is big enough to cope with the whole world, for He is infinite in His knowledge, His power, and His love… He can handle the big picture…” (47-48) He also corrected me by stating, “The impression we sometimes give with such questions is that we care more about people than God does, that we would do anything to make sure lost people are saved, whereas God is too laid-back about the whole problem of the destiny of unbelievers. It is as if we think we are eager to save people, but God is reluctant. But is it true that God is the one who is reluctant to reach people with the good news of Christ’s salvation?” (83). Through Jerram’s portraits of individuals in the Bible coming to faith, I was reminded again, “that God’s arm is not so short as to save,” and the profound implications of Christ’s incarnation, life, death, and resurrection. I was also reminded of my own shortcomings in caring for others. God is neither reluctant nor impotent. Christ is seated in heaven and actively present in the world and lives of today.

There is much more I could write about the way the Lord has used this book to cut to the heart of the matter in my life. Barrs articulated in 278 pages many of the things I’ve learned from ministering overseas in a very post-modern culture. Yet he did so in a way that was gentle, challenging, highly accessible, and practical. Again, it is a book I will pass on again and again.

08 febrero 2012

broken pots

































































Tonight I was reminded of the light that shines forth from brokenness. We're not meant to be perfect now. Our brokenness is reality and good. Our put-togetherness is sometimes the precise thing which needs to be broken. I write these words and yet am highly aware that I only know a tiny bit of what they mean. O Lord, break me and make me, mold me as you see fit. Take the broken cisterns and the things I so easily cling to in place of you and restore my need and dependence on you alone.

re-entry thought #13

I haven't been blogging much and I haven't had too many cultural moments as of late. But this past weekend as I went to get the ingredients for a goat-cheese cheesecake, I was hit by the fact that I am not in Europe. Cheese. Good goat cheese and creme fraiche. Expensive and virtually, or literally, impossible to find. At least in the suburbs... Extremely frustrating when there are at least 100 pseudo-fake-gross-processed cheeses and NO creme fraiche and goat cheese that is just okay, but twice or triple the price I would have paid in Spain.

Yes, I know... it's gourmet food here. But there it's just food, normal people, normal, everyday food. I am venting and complaining, but I miss it.

All in all the cheesecake turned out fine and was worth the extra money I spent on cheese, but I'll have to remember to drive into the city the next time I want some "fancy" euro-cheeses. Missing my adopted home... but still thankful for my time here.

honesty confessions...

tonight as i sat with a friend and talked about some of the deeper heart issues of life like loneliness, longing, emotions, walls we put up, grace, the gospel,... I was reminded how much i need the body of Christ and a tiny bit of what that means. I was also reminded at how good I am at hiding sometimes... and the walls i so easily build around me out of self protection. yuck. thank you, friend.

24 enero 2012

"I have a confession to make: I'm addicted to the gospel. It burns inside of me. And it seems to get hotter every day. I can't stop thinking about it, talking about it, writing about it, reading about it, wrestling with it, reveling in it, standing on it, and thanking God for it. For better or for worse, my focus has become myopic. My passion has become singular... I'm beginning to realize that the gospel is way more radical, offensive, liberating, shocking, and counterintuitive than any of us realize... Like Aslan in C.S. Lewis's Chronicles of Narnia, the gospel is good but not safe." Tullian Tchividjian, Jesus + Nothing = Everything