Well, I told my parents.
I don't like girls, I like guys. Well, that was how I told my parents I was gay. My parents gave me freedom and were quite liberal with us during our growing up years. But I still couldn't anticipate what their reaction would be, as we are still like any other traditional Chinese family. I had read up online, plus asked many friends for their opinion, basically did all the research that I could do but one can never really be fully prepared to come out to one's parents can they?
One night I decided to take the plunge. I asked my parents to sit and told them I got something to tell them. It wasn't easy, and I tried not to fumbled. I got my message out. What does that means? They asked. It means I am gay. I guessed I had hoped for a highly positive response. (must be watching too much tv) But the truth was they couldn't take it, they were disappointed, sad, and thought of it as a problem, an issue, a phrase. I know where they were coming from, and tried to let them understand. Obviously what I struggled with for 10 years before accepting it myself, I can't accept them to accept it in 1 hour.
My mum took it harder than I expected. She teared and asked if it was her fault. I told her not to blame herself, but my confidence were fast crumbling that I could make this a positive experience.
In the end, we agreed that they need more time to think and understand. And I assured them that yes studies come first. And that I would print materials from online for them to read, experiences shared by other parents with gay kids. They said that I was still their son and they still love me and stuff. Of course, the disappointment and shock that they never though that this would happen to them still exists. But I am largely glad that this can still be considered a slightly positive outcome. Hopefully in the months to come, they will understand more and more about the son they always had.
One night I decided to take the plunge. I asked my parents to sit and told them I got something to tell them. It wasn't easy, and I tried not to fumbled. I got my message out. What does that means? They asked. It means I am gay. I guessed I had hoped for a highly positive response. (must be watching too much tv) But the truth was they couldn't take it, they were disappointed, sad, and thought of it as a problem, an issue, a phrase. I know where they were coming from, and tried to let them understand. Obviously what I struggled with for 10 years before accepting it myself, I can't accept them to accept it in 1 hour.
My mum took it harder than I expected. She teared and asked if it was her fault. I told her not to blame herself, but my confidence were fast crumbling that I could make this a positive experience.
In the end, we agreed that they need more time to think and understand. And I assured them that yes studies come first. And that I would print materials from online for them to read, experiences shared by other parents with gay kids. They said that I was still their son and they still love me and stuff. Of course, the disappointment and shock that they never though that this would happen to them still exists. But I am largely glad that this can still be considered a slightly positive outcome. Hopefully in the months to come, they will understand more and more about the son they always had.
posted by Tzy at
Saturday, August 18, 2012
1 Comments
