Hello all (if anyone is even reading this :p),

It's been almost five years since my last update and oh how things have changed. I have plenty of unpublished drafts and the most recent one was in mid 2018 when I was still working on my Bachelor's honours thesis and job hunting, and it was mainly talking about how disillusioned I have become with the media industry (which was the main industry I was job searching in at that point in time).

2018 Ziyue definitely wouldn't have imagined what life has become for 2023 Ziyue and I do wish I had put in more effort into blogging regularly because it would have been amazing to have a record of my adventures in the past few years, but maybe it's never too late and I can pick up this habit again and try to summarise/fill in as much as I can! I considered a few ways to do this and initially I thought maybe I could do this chronologically but that's just gonna be crazy, so I've settled on some categories/themes to organise this as best as I could.

On studies

Well since my last (published and unpublished) post was related to my studies in NUS, I thought it might be best to start off with an update related to my studies. Even though I was struggling with my honours thesis back in 2018, I thankfully did do a good job and it remains one of my proudest academic works till date - not just because of the result but also because I genuinely think my study generated pretty interesting insights (HAHA). Also it allowed me to graduate from NUS with a pretty great result as well so no complaints from me! 

After graduating from NUS, I entered the workforce like everyone else (more on this later), and I returned to school to do a Master's at KCL three years later in 2021 :) I've always considered doing further studies even back in NUS, but I was undecided with regard to which specific major/concentration I want to go into. Hence I eventually decided to start working first not only to start earning some money but also so that it would ideally help to guide my decisions (which it really did!)

The decision to go back to studying was a bit of a leap of faith, considering that I had a proper stable job at a relatively good company with really amazing colleagues. And it would also mean trying to start a new life in a foreign country. But since this was something that I've always wanted to do (both pursuing further studies as well as living overseas), I decided that it was now or never and that even if I hated this decision, it is an experience that I will never forget and I can safely say I have no regrets. And no regrets indeed! I am typing away on my laptop in my rented room in London right now, and I am so thankful for 2020 Ziyue for taking that leap of faith because life has been pretty amazing :) 

On work

As mentioned, in my last unpublished post I was starting to feel disillusioned with the media industry and I just couldn't connect with many of the roles that were out there for comms graduates, and I was in my 'quarter' life crisis phase where I started doubting whatever was the point of what I studied and really thinking about what I want to do in the long term. And I came to the conclusion that I probably do not want to work in the media or even PR industry (which was one of my possible options) in the long term. I was semi confident that I would do a good job in it, but deep down I knew that it's not something I am super passionate about and I wasn't sure if my interest would be able to sustain that long, considering that I can already feel the dread creeping up when reading the job descriptions of the roles. Not that any of these roles were bad though! It was just that it's not something that I can see myself doing for a long(ish) time, so it's more of the fact that it's not a good fit rather than it being bad. 

I do acknowledge my privilege though, because I was lucky enough to be in a position where I didn't have to immediately find a job after graduating or had loans/bills to pay off. I had the luxury of being able to ponder about what I wanted to do and explore my options. Hence, after a not-very-successful and also not-very-enthusiastic job search in the media/comms industry, I decided to try out something different and also try out something in a smaller scale (i.e. internship instead of a full-time job) so I don't have to commit to it. Also, I thought it made sense for me to at least be doing something instead of sitting around at home applying for full-time jobs. I would say this is the turning point of my career because this decision has led me to work in Chope as a product marketing intern! 

My four months in Chope were actually awesome, I had sooo much fun and met so many awesome and amazing friends/mentors that I still keep in contact with till today. Naturally we're not as close as we used to be but I definitely still look back at those times and these people with fondness. And special shout-out to my supervisor! (Side note: I've been so incredibly lucky because all my supervisors since my very first internship at TripZilla has been so amazing... more on that later!) 

I honestly look up to her a lot and I learnt so, so much from her/in that role. :') I'm thankful that she treated me as an equal and she really did guide me, which in my opinion played a huge role in how I managed to land my subsequent role at SIA. 

My time at SIA was honestly one of the best times of my life. I still remembered how I felt rather under-qualified when I first applied for the role and even when I went for the interview I wasn't sure how it would be, but I am 200% thankful I did get the job and joined one of the best, if not THE best, department in SIA. I spent 2.5 years there and I can safely say I enjoyed every single moment of it, even when things were not always easy. It was my first time working in a more 'established' company as opposed to a start-up-ish company and it made me appreciate what I liked about start-ups, but it also made me appreciate the exposure and opportunities that big companies provide. 

Due to the nature of the job, the working hours were not necessarily the best, but the scope was exciting and incredibly fulfilling (at least it was to me!) and I had awesome colleagues that I still miss dearly! It's always a great time with them and I am so glad that we remained friends till date. Well people come and go sometimes but I am glad to say that those that I have worked closely with are still very much present in my life, and some have evolved beyond work friends to really close friends and I hope this will continue to be the case in the future. Also, I genuinely love my bosses and have learnt soooo much from them! Thankful that they have always been so understanding and supportive, and have given me endless opportunities :') They really made it so difficult to walk away (to pursue my Master's).

SIA was my first real introduction into the product realm and it was where I discovered that this is really something that I would like to explore in the long term. And I was also further motivated by my Master's to pursue something related to data. So after a pretty rigorous job searching of two to three months, I landed a role at my current place which has allowed me to marry product and data to (hopefully) contribute something valuable to the company :) I am still very very new... well technically it has been 2.5 months since I joined but I still feel like suuuuuch a newbie! Hopefully I'll be able to contribute a lot more soon! 

On travels

I thought I'd include a mini section here on travels as well since I'm such a big fan of travelling and would love to have some sort of record of my travel experiences. Although I'd say most of them can now be found on my Instagram stories too HAHA. But yes, since 2018 I've had the great fortune to travel to plenty of places (even with COVID-19 prevalent for 2ish out of these 5 years!). I did graduation trips to UK (with mama and sis), US (with B2 and Weq), and Taiwan (with JM, Jas, JE) all in 2018. In 2019, I did another two trips to Japan (Kyoto/Osaka, Tokyo) with mama, Bali with Kim (and we even did a sunrise hike up Mt Batur! One of the most memorable experiences I've ever had. I really like Bali I would love to return sometime), Istanbul with Nata (my first ever work trip and SQ biz class experience! Also one of the most memorable experiences I've ever had). Probably also did a few trips to JB (including an overnight JB trip with some of my colleagues) but I shall not include those since there'll be too many to remember HAHA. 

Then COVID hit so obviously no travelling was possible but all's good, I'm thankful that all my loved ones and I are safe and healthy. It was truly ~unprecedented~ times, especially since all of us initially thought it was just something that would end in a couple of months. 

Fast forward to September 2021, I took my first post-covid flight to London for my Master's! It was a bit of a struggle trying to travel in the midst of the ever-changing travel restrictions, but I'm thankful that I never faced much of a problem with that. I did a trip to Scotland (my second time after 2018, it's still as beautiful as ever) with a couple of my accoms/school mates. In December the same year, I visited Spain for almost a month with my mama! Spain is definitely one of the best places I've ever visited - such lovely weather, AMAZING food, affordable prices, friendly people. Would highly recommend!!!

In 2022, I did a couple of solo trips! Haven't done any in a while so it was initially slighting daunting but both of my solo trips were awesome and I would definitely highly recommend anyone ever just needs some space to yourself / personal reflection time. I visited Croatia (super lovely and beautiful!) and Romania (super misunderstood place but people there are so helpful and it's pretty safe!). I chose places that were relatively off the beaten track just because I wanted to explore something a little different (also so I could 'save' some of the more typical places for travelling with friends) and also because the bulk of trips were intended for resting, cafe-hopping and doing nothing but walking around the streets so I didn't wanna go to places that are too expensive! There's still many many more places on my list, such as Bulgaria and Bosnia & Herzegovina, and I definitely need to visit these places while I'm still in London! Hopefully once the weather gets better (can't wait for spring to come), I can start jetting off and do some short weekend getaways (the reality of a working adult... you gotta save those annual leave days man). 

I was on quite a roll in 2022 because the weather got better and also I had a pretty long 'break' between the end of my course and my dissertation submission. Well the 'break' was meant for focusing on dissertation but clearly I did not do much of that :p I visited Italy with a couple of accoms/school mates too and I really really enjoyed it too! Looooove the food there, I would totally recommend going (but maybe not during peak tourist period). I also got to visit France, in fact twice! The first time was with my #singlets group, since New Zealand 2020 couldn't happen we decided to make Southern France 2022 happen and we did a road trip along the Southern coast of France :) Super fun too! Also had great food and lovely, friendly people! I'm also very glad that whatever French skills I've retained since 2018 seemed to have served us pretty well, I hope my French teachers are proud of me. 

I also did a hiking/camping trip along the coast of Brittany with Dina, my ex-supervisor from my TripZilla internship days! It's crazy to think how much time has passed since then and how our lives have turned out (her marrying her French husband and me somehow ending up in London). It's also quite amazing that we have remained close(ish)/in contact throughout the years. Tbh we haven't been in much contact so it was a huge leap of faith (for both of us) to decide to do this together since it could be extremely awkward, but since she offered I thought it was too good/special an opportunity to pass up because how often do people offer to bring you around hiking/camping?! Plus I've always wanted to try it but am quite reluctant to do it without someone more experienced bringing me around. But I had SUCH a wonderful trip, it was truly a trip of a lifetime. Other than the amazing sights and activities that I got to experience, it was absolutely lovely catching up with Dina after so many years! It's been so long since we last met and also previously we were actually supervisor-intern so we never really got to talk muuuch outside of work, but surprisingly there was almost no awkwardness right from the beginning and we clicked so well! We spoke so much about life, relationships and just random things in general but we were very aligned in almost everything so it was basically a lovely non-stop HTHT/sharing session for 4 days. We confided in each other that we were both kinda worried before embarking on this trip because we committed ourselves to spending 24/7 (including sleeping in a small tent side by side) with someone that we haven't spoken to for six years and things could definitely turn out to be horrible HAHA. But I am so glad it went well and she has offered to bring me around for another trip once she moves into her new house so fingers crossed we will make it happen again!!! 

Well that's it for 2022. We are now in 2023 and I am looking forward to many more exciting trips! Tentatively I'm already looking at a possible US trip in mid-2023 and I'll definitely try to arrange for more trips in the Europe region because I gotta make the most of my time here! 

On relationships

Over the last couple of years I've had the great honour and luck to have met some really amazing friends!!! My friends from Chope, SIA, KCL and other random places/moments. But I'd say that out of these 'new' friends, I am definitely most thankful for Nata and Amanda from my SIA days. We've become so, so close over the last couple of years and I'm so grateful to have these sweet and caring friends who are always supportive of me. They also visited me in London in 2022 and we had such a great time. :') There are also other SIA friends that I remain close(ish) to today, such as my SAA team mates! Can't wait to see all of them in March this year when I'm back for WZ's wedding. 

I'm also very glad that I've remained close with my dear 'old' friends like B1, #singlets, and of course the rest of burdens. We don't talk to each other very frequently but there's never any awkwardness, we just go around doing our own thing and regroup to update each other once in a while and feel happy for one another! Some friends just feel like home and I'd say these people definitely are home. Also super thankful that some of them have made the time to visit me (or are visiting me soon) in Europe.

And of course, Kim! We've been friends since JC, that's a good 10 years ago. Amazingly we have managed to keep in relatively regular contact even though we went to different unis after JC and also did exchange in different places (me in Sweden and her in Australia). We've also not been in constant contact but every once in a while when we do catch up, it's as if time never passed and we're still the same nerds who sat in first row in class HAHAHA. It's always, always a good time with her and I love how supportive we are of each other! I'm so proud of us that we both made it to London and are now sharing a flat together!!! I never had any doubts that we would be great flatmates, and indeed we are! It's just so fun to come home to someone you know everyday and get to share what happened in our lives and hear a debrief of juicy gossip/hot tea from each other HAHA. And we get to explore cute cafes together in London hehe. Hopefully once the weather gets better, we'd get to explore more of London and even other places in Europe too! 

I'm probably still missing out on a bunch of people but I'm grateful that some of my friends on Instagram have been actively reaching out to me to check in on me and just to comment on my experiences. I also find it very sweet when old friends/colleagues specifically ask to meet up/hang out when they visit London because they are taking time off their precious travelling time to see me and I'm always happy to welcome them! 

In 2022, I also entered into a relationship with K. We've been colleagues and then friends for quite some time before this and looking back I do think that this strong friendship foundation has been very helpful in this relationship. It's my first 'real' relationship so I think there's a lot of things for me to learn/figure out but I am glad that things turned out the way it did. I feel awkward elaborating too much here but all I can say is that everything feels right and I've never been happier! :) 

On the road ahead

This is a tough one because who really knows what lies ahead right? But at least for the foreseeable future, I intend to continue working in London for the next two years and exploring as much of Europe as possible. I still intend to go back to Singapore eventually and of course in the meantime I would still make trips back to Singapore. As for everything else, well I'll see where/what life brings me! Here's to a great 2023 ahead and hopefully I'll get to update this space more often. Cheers!

Never thought I'd be able to see her live in Singapore when I subscribed to her 5 years ago omg I think I replayed her cover of 'Just A Dream' with Sam Tsui like 100,000 times just on my own. 😂 She has come so far since then but she'll always be the puffy-haired zeldaxlove64 to me 

“You get a strange feeling when you’re about to leave a place. Like you’ll not only miss the people you love but you’ll miss the person you are now at this time and this place, because you’ll never be this way ever again.”

— Azar Nafisi

Hello guys this week has been a rather busy week because I've a 2500-word essay due soon so I'm still working on it now HAHA (why do I always procrastinate sobs).

But anyway I still took the time off for some school events la like the NUS Arts Festival Opening act hehe it's a collaboration between NUS Chinese Dance and the Beijing Dance Academy and omg it's actually the first legit dance concert I've been to?! I was actually really impressed omg the dance skills are great and the lighting costume music everything was so good!!!

Found myself wishing I could dance LOL how do people dance so beautifully when I can't even walk without tripping over my own feet :(

Another thing I went to was this BRIDGE networking thing for all outgoing exchange students, students currently on exchange in NUS as well as those who came back from exchange. Pretty cool event because they have a small icebreaking session and then they grouped us into our specific regions and we got to mingle around and eat free food HAHA.

Didn't meet anyone from Sweden but I met people who are going to Sweden too!!! So much yay because idk anyone going to Sweden previously omg. Even if we don't become good friends or trip buddies I think it's still good to at least know someone in the same country ya like what if idk how to activate my sim card or whatever LOL. So t'was a good experience!

Although it's been soooo long since I last bothered with socialising hahaha I used up all my energy in camps and stuff and I only kinda xiao socialise at the start of every sem to make friends in lectures/tutorials? So this socialising event right smack in the middle of the sem was making me panic a little bit LOL but it's okay all turned out well!!!

I always regret signing up for these events right before it like 'omg why do I do this to myself I can't talk to other people sobs' but after the event I'm always like 'omg yes luckily I came! I had so much fun'. Time and time again I get reminded that talking to other people can really be super fulfilling :-)

In fact the first person I talked to during the event was an exchange student from Milan, Italy. She's from Law btw which honestly stunned me for 3 seconds because you don't really meet anyone from Law in the main campus LOL I was like 'uh.... wait what OH LAW' after she told me what she's studying hahahaha.

Okay anyway it was a really short but great convo for me because it reminded me of what I have here in Singapore. I think as someone who has lived here my entire life, sometimes I do take things for granted and look at things negatively. Of course I still appreciate the many great things that Singapore has, but it's also really easy to just fall into this whole routine of complaining LOL especially when I read Facebook comments hahaha it's like all the negative vibes omg.

But the Italian girl made me reflect on my perspective because she told me she's having such a great time here and she doesn't wanna go back. She said she really loves the weather (LOL which is something I complain about all the time) and she also feels so safe in Singapore because it's not that way in Italy.

I think safety is really something that I've taken for granted because I used to (and sometimes still do) return home at like 12/1am and I've never felt threatened. Although I do feel unsafe sometimes like I feel the need to be on alert and I walk super quickly but I'm sure I already have it a lot better here than elsewhere. Plus I'm always leaving my stuff on the tables omg.

I feel that in light of all the terrorist attacks, safety has become something that really needs to be taken into account of, and when it comes to safety really no where else is better than Singapore. Sweden is relatively safe but the migrant crisis has affected it too so I'm not sure how the situation is now :(

But yeah, in the midst of doing my exchange research and I can already feel myself missing Singapore. There will always be good and bad, but at the end of the day I think absence does really make the heart grow fonder.

What I do not accept, however, is that it is all right for people to make comments ranging from "a bit sexist but generally harmless" to openly sexually aggressive. That it is something that "just happens". Is the casual objectification of women so commonplace that we should all just suck it up, roll over and accept defeat? I hope not. Objectification, whatever its form, is not something anyone should have to "just deal with".