Smarkass Reviews: SummerSlam 2009

It's been a long time since I posted anything here. No good reason for that other than laziness, I suppose. I've been tempted to write about some music, movies, DVDs, books, and so on... but haven't. Shit. Ah well. I'm back and, hopefully, this is something that will continue on beyond this one review of a two-year old WWE PPV that I watched for another purpose completely. However, I have been doing a lot of writing lately for 411mania, including new weekly reviews of Curb Your Enthusiasm season eight. The season premiered this past Sunday, so I've only had one review up. Still, check out my twitter feed for links to future reviews and other writings I do around the internet.

Anyway...

SummerSlam 2009. I got this on DVD for five bucks at Wal-Mart. I haven't seen any cheap PPVs on DVD there since I got this back in the winter, which sucks. Sure, when I have no money, they have many $5 DVDs; when I have money, they dry up. Bullshit. I hadn't actually seen this show before. It came after the local bar where I used to watch WWE PPVs stopped showing them and I realised that going to the movie theatre to watch them was too expensive to do on a regular basis (now, it's not so much a cost thing as a conflict with my work schedule -- though, I will be seeing Money in the Bank on Sunday, because I arranged for the person who works after me on Sunday nights to come in an hour early -- something I've done once before and would like to only do rarely if possible). So, this was all new to me.

Match #1: WWE Intercontinental Championship Match - Rey Mysterio (C) vs. Dolph Ziggler
A strong opening match that reminds me of how motivated Rey was in 2009. Hot off his feud with Chris Jericho and before his 411 'free TV match of the year' with John Morrison, he feuded with Dolph Ziggler over the IC belt and, surprisingly, didn't drop it at all. Here, Mysterio did some pretty cool things that he doesn't bust out all of the time and Ziggler was very responsive, lending himself to some inventive counters. Honestly, this is one of the best Ziggler matches I've seen (before or since). He looked in command and wasn't doing his usual routine as much. It's like, in the wake of the Jericho/Mysterio stuff, it wasn't possible to do the same ol' thing with Rey Rey. This has me curious to see their previous match at Night of Champions.
Winner and STILL WWE Intercontinental Champion: Rey Mysterio [***1/2]

Match #2: Jack Swagger vs. MVP
Remember this feud? It did absolutely nothing for either man and never delivered the sort of match you would expect from the two. This didn't get the necessary time, so it was like watching a highlight video of the full match.
Winner: MVP [**]

Match #3: WWE Unified Tag Team Championship Match - JeriShow (C) vs. Cryme Tyme
The pre-match promo by Jericho was arrogant heel at its best. I remember being so disappointed when Big Show was selected to replace Edge, but, in retrospect, it worked out quite well. Just standing in the ring, these two looked like a team that couldn't be beaten. Technical wrestling at its best and a motherfucking giant! The only thing I remember about the feud with Cryme Tyme was JTG beating Jericho on Smackdown in the run-up to SummerSlam. I didn't like that only because of the way it happened -- I think JTG got in a quick pin after Jericho went for a cover under the ropes and I didn't think that fit with Jericho's character who is far too ring savvy to do something that stupid. Otherwise, I didn't mind JTG getting the win. Jim Ross(!) mention how the Road Warriors won their first WWE Tag Titles at SummerSlam was a nice bit of info that fed into Cryme Tyme never winning any belts. The match itself was decent. Typical Cryme Tyme pattern: JTG gets beat down until making the hot tag to Shad, but they added in a bit with Shad getting beat down only to make the hot tag that changed things up enough. The combination of the Walls of Jericho and the Knockout Punch was a good finish.
Winners and STILL WWE Unified Tag Team Champions: JeriShow [**1/2]

Match #4: Kane vs. the Great Khali
You don't always notice how good Kane is in the ring, but stick him next to the Great Khali and you suddenly can't help but notice how agile and skilled he is. His style doesn't lend itself to impressing fans often, unfortunately. However, he carried this piece of shit of a match. It wasn't good, but it could have been a lot of worse. All of the good parts were because of Kane with Khali looking sluggish and awkward at even the simplest of moves. I must admit, though, that I always enjoy the 'big man tries to Chokeslam another big man only to be goozled by his opponent in return' exchange.
Winner: Kane [1/2*]

Match #5: Degeneration X vs. Legacy
I completely forgot that this was the beginning of the final DX reunion. I have a big soft spot for DX and rather enjoy goofy Shawn and Trips. A lot of people hated their previous reunion along with this one, but I found both entertaining. It's hard not to like two guys who are obviously just having fun goofing around with one another. This match had a really good story: DX hadn't teamed for a long time and Michaels had been out of the ring since WrestleMania, so they couldn't keep up with Ted DiBiase and Cody Rhodes who had been teaming for two years at that point. Most of the match was DX not getting on the same page, while Rhodes and DiBiase used the most basic of tag team tactics to destroy the veterans. It's surprising how dominant Legacy looked here, countering almost every effort at a comeback Michaels and Triple H could come up with until Trips managed to take out DiBiase on the outside, breaking the rhythm of the duo. There was one spot where Rhodes and DiBiase tag each other in and out every five seconds, just stomping on Trips (or Shawn... I forget) in the corner, making the tag, stomping, tag, stomping, tag, etc. Once the two weren't able to make frequent tags and take advantage of double-teams, things fell apart a little and, eventually, Michaels won the match with Sweet Chin Music that came as a last resort. DX needed to win in their first match back together, but it wasn't a victory that made Legacy look bad. If anything, Legacy came out of this looking great. That wouldn't last, but, right here, it was hard not to look at those two as the best tag team in the WWE.
Winners: Degeneration X [***3/4]

Match #6: ECW Championship Match - Christian (C) vs. William Regal
This wasn't a match with Christian immediately hitting the Killswitch and winning before Regal could take his robe off. Disappointing given how good a match between these two could have been. Why not drop Kane/Khali and give the people something halfway decent?
Winner and STILL ECW Champion: Christian [N/R]

Match #7: WWE Championship Match - Randy Orton (C) vs. John Cena
Watching this match, I couldn't help but admire Randy Orton's skill and concentration. People didn't like him a lot around this period, but are loving him now. How else would he get so good in the ring besides this long period of slow, methodical in-ring movement? I can't imagine how much extra effort it took to always be so slow, so expressive. When he finally turned face, he sped up considerably and you can see him mastering this style in matches like this. The match itself was good until the string of false finishes and restarts that were just plain fucking goofy. I am glad that Orton won in the end, because that's the way it needed to go down: Orton does everything he can to cheat his way to victory only to have it taken away and he still wins (albeit through a different type of cheating). The final five minutes or so of this match killed it, though. Absolutely killed it.
Winner and STILL WWE Champion: Randy Orton [**1/4]

Match #8: TLC Match for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship - Jeff Hardy (C) vs. CM Punk
Ah, the beginning of the Straight Edge Saviour character... is there a better foil for CM Punk when he's playing up his Straight Edge lifestyle than Jeff Hardy? The drugged out fuck up who is more loved than Punk? With Hardy on his way out, the ending to this match was easy to see, but the two men still brought it. Their early work on the outside was rather good with some smart counters and cool moves. The dive off the ladder was insane (though, I could have done without them trying to take Hardy out on a stretcher just so he could get off and prove how 'extreme' he is). The Superplex onto the ladder looked far more painful for CM Punk with Hardy placed to land dead centre, while Punk hit the edge. The finish was good with Punk using kicks to get the advantage on the top of the ladder. The lights flickering as a cue to Punk to make sure Hardy was in position for the Undertaker switch was interesting -- and Punk played that perfectly. A strong ending to the show.
Winner and NEW WWE World Heavyweight Champion: CM Punk [****]

Overall thoughts: A lot of quality in this show. Take away the Kane/Khali and Christan/Regal matches and everything was, at the very least, okay. Three matches were very good, even approaching great, and the rest had their moments. Not a classic show, but one well worth checking out if you have the chance.

Rating: 8.0 (out of 10)

Smarkass Reviews: WWE The Bash 2009

One of the two more recent WWE PPVs that I got at Wal-Mart for five dollars each, the Bash also has the distinction of being the first PPV I didn't see at the time after a long string of seeing all of them. I think I'd seen every PPV since missing Armageddon in 2007. My former roommate, Adam, and I (and others) would go to a local bar that showed the PPVs, a tradition I continued after Adam left town. That was until certain circumstances prevented the bar from showing PPVs anymore. The last one Michelle and I saw there was Backlash '09 and, then, we saw Extreme Rules '09 at a local movie theatre. But, for the cost, it didn't seem worth it except for specific PPVs that looked like they would be worth it. So, that meant missing the Bash that year and, now, I've finally seen it. Was it worth the wait?

Match #1: Championship Scramble for the ECW Title - Tommy Dreamer (C) vs. Christian vs. Jack Swagger vs. Finlay vs. Mark Henry
I actually like the Championship Scramble match concept: you start with two guys and, then, every five minutes, another wrestler enters the match until the fifth one comes in. After that, a five-minute countdown starts until the end of the match. At the end of the match, whoever scored the last pinfall or submission is the champion. Technically, after you've scored a pinfall or submission, you're considered the current champion (but it's not an official reign). It's a cool idea and leads to some interesting moments like the WWE Championship Scramble match where The Brian Kendrick was the champ for a few minutes. But, it's also a bit of an oddball concept, so I can see why they haven't used it since this match. Christian and Jack Swagger started things off, and that was good. It's weird to see how far Swagger's come since this point in time. Less than a year later, he'd be the World Heavyweight Champion and is definitely better in the ring now. But, a lot of that talent was already there. When Finlay entered, he came running to the ring and I lamented the lack of his old entrance theme that began with his voice proclaiming "My name is Finlay and I love to fight!" It would have been much more appropriate. The action in this match was good. Swagger got two pinfalls, Henry one, and Dreamer the last one. Dreamer leaving with the belt was so surprising that even he looked shocked that it happened. As far as an opening match goes, this was a smart choice. Granted, the crowd felt a little different. The silence during the Swagger/Christian part of the match was noticeable.
Winner and STILL ECW Champion: Tommy Dreamer [***]

Match #2: Intercontinental Championship vs. Mask Match - Chris Jericho (C) vs. Rey Mysterio
I always lamented never seeing this match, the third one in their trilogy of bouts in 2009 and, according to everyone, the best of the three. And they were right. What impressed me most about their second match, at Extreme Rules, was how it built on their first. Spots and moves weren't repeated with success, they were countered. Both men looked like professionals at the top of their game, able to learn from what happened before, and adapt on the spot. The fact that certain guys are able to do the same spots in the same order with success much of the time is something that I've never liked about wrestling. I'm sorry, but if you don't know the Attitude Adjustment is coming after the Five-Knuckle Shuffle, where have you been? COUNTER THAT MOTHERFUCKER, IDIOT! I know that the routine is integral to some, but I'd always prefer to see a match where it looks like both men have actually watched a wrestling match before. This match was one of those where it wasn't just move-countermove, it was move-countermove-countermove. It was one of the smartest in-ring work I've ever seen. Even the seemingly gimmicky finish of Rey Rey having a second mask on didn't come off that way -- it was another counter since Jericho won their last match by unmasking Mysterio and completely throwing him off his game. My favourite spot, though, was Jericho faking that the 619 landed near the end so he could lull Mysterio into doing a jump off the ropes and catch him, putting him into the Walls of Jericho. Definitely the high point of this PPV and, from what happens later, I know why they put it on second, but, really, they expected people to follow this match? After the Undertaker/Michaels at WrestleMania, it was the second-best WWE match of the year, easily.
Winner and NEW Intercontinental Champion: Rey Mysterio [****3/4]

Match #3: No Disqualification Match - Dolph Ziggler vs. The Great Khali
Remember when Dolph Ziggler first showed up and did that "Hi, I'm Dolph Ziggler" gimmick? And now he's the #1 contender for the World Heavyweight Championship. Did anyone see that coming then? This was the culmination of Ziggler's feud with Khali where Ziggler continued to outsmart the giant and walk away with victories (or, at least, leave the giant beaten and bruised). This match was shit. For the record, I'm pretty sure that being seven feet tall doesn't make punching a ringpost hurt any less. This was really the beginning of a Kane/Khali feud with Ziggler winning after Kane came down and beat the shit out of Khali with a chair. Whatever.
Winner: Dolph Ziggler [*]

Match #4: Unified Tag Team Championship Match - The Colons (C) vs. Priceless vs. Edge & Chris Jericho
This match became a triple threat match with Edge and Jericho added because of a story involving Smackdown General Manager Teddy Long being put on probation for not being innovative enough for Mr. McMahon's tastes. So, he threw in Edge and Jericho, which just pissed off the other four guys. So, the story of this match became the Colons and Priceless trying to have their match without ever allowing Edge and Jericho to enter (since tag matches with more than two teams still only have two men in the ring, leaving the extra teams on the apron, possibly never able to legally win the match). The couple of times where they managed to get in, they'd make the mistake of getting too close to one of the other corners and immediately tagged out. In the end, they managed to win after the match became a bit of a clusterfuck. Sadly, the Edge and Jericho team didn't last long once Edge suffered a torn Achilles heel. Still, a decent match with a cool story.
Winners and NEW Unified Tag Team Champions: Edge and Chris Jericho [**]

Match #5: Women's Championship Match - Melina (C) vs. Michelle McCool
We fast-forwarded through this.
Winner and NEW Women's Champion: Michelle McCool [N/A]

Match #6: World Heavyweight Championship Match - CM Punk (C) vs. Jeff Hardy
The beginning of Punk's heel turn after cashing in Money in the Bank on Hardy. This match wasn't as good as you'd expect given the two guys involved. Some nice spots, but not conhesive really. Neither guy seemed on the same page entirely. Maybe it was both men trying to wrestle as faces. Sometimes that dynamic doesn't work -- and Punk hadn't turned heel yet. I loved the false finish where Hardy thought he'd won, but the ref noticed Punk's leg was under the ropes after he'd counted the pin. It worked with the feud: Punk was technically in the right when he cashed in his Money in the Bank contract and, technically, Hardy didn't win here. Of course, I did enjoy the idea of Hardy, seemingly a face with lots of tenacity, being portrayed as a whiner for this entire storyline. The actual finish where Hardy went nuts on Punk, injuring his eye, so Punk kicked the ref was... meh. It was meant to be Punk couldn't see, so he didn't know who he was kicking -- but we see the small smile he gets as he walks away. The only thing is that the excuse that Punk couldn't see who he was kicking was just lame. It wasn't staged well. But, this is the beginnings of Punk turning heel, which was awesome. Also, the end of Hardy in the WWE.
Winner but NOT new World Heavyweight Champion: Jeff Hardy [**3/4]

Match #7: John Cena vs. the Miz
Like Ziggler and Swagger, the Miz has come a long way since this PPV. He's also become a lot more polished. What I noticed most from the recap video package was how calmer he is on the mic. The personality is the same, but he's slowed it down a little and is much more at ease. He's not trying so hard (or, more accurately, it doesn't look like he's trying so hard). This match was a squash. The Miz barely got in any offence and Cena just beat the shit out of him. Ah well.
Winner: John Cena [*1/2]

Match #8: Three Stages of Hell Match for the WWE Championship - Randy Orton (C) vs. Triple H
And we end things with an odd match. This is a two-out-of-three falls match where the first fall is a regular match, the second is a Falls Count Anywhere match, and the third is a Stretcher match. Now, I've only ever seen one Stretcher match that I'd want to see again and that was the one from Extreme Rules 2008 between Batista and Shawn Michaels -- and that's because of Chris Jericho's involvement, which was done in a way that only worked with a Stretcher match. Here, the Stretcher match doesn't follow any progression. A good progression for this sort of match: No DQ fall, Falls Count Anywhere fall, and, then, Last Man Standing to finish it off. See how that works? Here, it's disjointed. But, that was this storyline all over. It built to Orton winning the belt at WrestleMania... except Triple H retained and Orton won it at Backlash the following month. They just couldn't get things right here. I did like the way the first two falls ended: the first one had Triple H get disqualified when he attacked Orton with a chair, viciously beating him and, then, hitting a Pedigree on the floor to win the second fall. It was a good strategy, especially since Orton seemed so dead that rolling him past the line on a stretcher wouldn't be too difficult. From there, it was your standard hardcore match with a stretcher. Nothing too special. Rhodes and DiBiase helped Orton retain the belt. This would lead to Triple H finding Shawn Michaels to reunite DX since Trips couldn't handle the numbers game of fighting all of Legacy. A mediocre finish to a mediocre PPV.
Winner and STILL WWE Champion: Randy Orton [**1/2]

Overall Show Rating: 5.0 (out of 10)

Smarkass Reviews: WWE New Year's Revolution 2007

We watched this on New Year's Eve. It seemed fitting. While out that day at Wal-Mart, I came across a few more five dollar WWE pay-per-view DVDs and how am I to resist such a deal? The other two are from 2009 surprisingly. Quicker and quicker to the discount bin? I'll take it. I was curious to see New Year's Revolution because I have The New and Improved DX DVD set, which showed us pretty much every moment of the 2006 reunion of Degeneration X... concluding with the Survivor Series from that year. Except, DX didn't break up there, they continued as a unit for another month or so, right up through New Year's Revolution where Triple H tore his quad, ending the duo's reunion. I can understand wanting to end the DVD on the high note of the Suvivor Series where DX, the Hardys, and CM Punk won their match without a single elimination. It's a much better ending than 'and then it all stopped because Triple H tore his quad doing a spinebuster.' That doesn't mean I don't want to see it, though. So, Michelle and I killed two and a half hours on New Year's Eve watching this.

Match #1: Steel Cage Match for the Intercontinental Championship -- Jeff Hardy (C) vs. Johnny Nitro
A great choice to open the show. The story going into this is that Nitro (now John Morrison for those who don't know) had been IC champ twice in the past, both reigns ended by Jeff Hardy. So, Nitro wants the belt, Hardy has it, and we get a steel cage match. Michelle said that this is the best steel cage match she's seen, but she hasn't seen a lot. It wasn't bad, it was energetic and had some cool spots. It also had some laboured parts where the match should have ended if you thought about it for more than few seconds. Oddly, none of the usual 'Jeff Hardy could win but decides to jump off the top of the cage instead' moments. Nitro was more mat-based than he is now and I couldn't help but wonder how much better this match would be now. Not a fair judgement, I know, but it's what I was thinking. Some of the parts I liked were Melina using her belt to whip Hardy's hands when he tried to climb the cage and a spot where Hardy tried to pull Nitro down, but Nitro hooked his feet in at the top of the cage and Hardy just fell hard to the mat. The finish was the best part of the match with Nitro trying to escape over the top and use his foot to keep the door shut after Melina failed until Hardy kicked it open and crotched Nitro in the process. It was different.
Winner and STILL Intercontinental Champion: Jeff Hardy [***]

Match #2: Tag-Team Turmoil -- The Highlanders vs. the World's Greatest Tag Team / The World's Greatest Tag Team vs. "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan & Super Crazy / The World's Greatest Tag Team vs. Lance Cade & Trevor Murdoch / Lance Cade & Trevor Murdoch vs. Cryme Tyme
This is a gauntlet-style match where two teams begin and every time a team is defeated, another comes out until there are no more, and the final winning team would get a future title shot. This whole thing was fine and was billed as a 'bonus' match (aka added to the card to fill time the night of the show). It felt a little long in spots. The initial match between the Highlanders (remember them?) and the World's Greatest Tag Team (Shelton Benjamin and Charlie Haas) just kind of kept going. It made the Highlanders look stronger than they should have, but sold the idea of the WGTT being weaker as things went on since... come on, son, look at them and then look at the other teams here. There's a reason they had that name. Only Cade and Murdoch seemed to be in their league. The stuff with the WGTT followed a pattern: first match it was both, second match it was Haas, third match it was Benjamin. They also won the first two matches by cheating the same way, so losing when that didn't work/was countered made sense. It coming down to Cade & Murdoch and Cryme Tyme had me thinking Cade and Murdoch would win, but no. It was your typical Cryme Tyme match that they never outgrew or changed up aside from the result: JTG gets beat down, Shad makes hot tag and clears house. I would have rather saw the World's Greatest Tag Team go through everyone until Cade & Murdoch, and had that finish things. But, whatever. Nothing was too bad and I won't complain about seeing Benjamin, Haas, Cade, and Murdoch in the same ring... even if it's only for a part of a larger match.
Winners: Cryme Tyme [**]

Match #3: Ric Flair vs. Kenny Dykstra
When the Spirit Squad broke up, Kenny was the guy they decided to push and that made sense to a degree. He was athletic and could do some big jumps off the top rope. Why not him? This match was part of trying to get him over by having him feud with Ric Flair. Flair had done the same for a few other guys before this, so, again, why not? It didn't work and this match shows why. They had Dykstra try to gain heat by imitating Flair. He came out in a robe, he did the strut, he tried to use the Figure Four... except Dykstra had no charisma. Or, to be less nasty, he didn't have the 'Slick Ric' charisma. That wasn't him. It just looked kind of sad. To put things in perspective: AJ Styles was better at doing Ric Flair than Dykstra is. He wasn't suited to the role and the match suffered as a result. If they let Dykstra be himself a bit more, the storytelling could have been better. When he got to do his thing, the match was at its best. Seeing him jump to the top rope effortlessly is pretty cool. The finish where he nailed Flair with a ball shot was a play on Flair's own use of the move and just sort of ended the match out of nowhere. That would be a recurring theme.
Winner: Kenny Dykstra [*3/4]

Match #4: Women's Championship Match -- Mickie James (C) vs. Victoria
Prior to this, Victoria had been taking out Divas and checking their names off a list she was carrying. Before the match, she tried to get Melina to help her by promising her the first title shot if she made sure Victoria walked away champion. Weird to see this match given that this feud just happened again at TNA. Is TNA four years behind the times? Oh ho ho. This was a pretty decent women's match. James was more energetic here than I can remember seeing anytime recently. Not as polished, but more energetic. Melina did try to help, but, then, all of the face Divas came down and beat her up, siding with James. Mickie won and it was fine.
Winner and STILL Women's Champion: Mickie James [*1/2]

Match #5: World Tag Team Championship Match -- Rated RKO (C) vs. Degeneration X
Ah, the match I was waiting for. This one became a brutal, bloody mess by the end, and it's a really big shame that Trips got hurt, because I would have loved to see this followed up on immediately. The match was your standard tag match with a few bits of blood until it took a nasty turn. First, Trips tore his quad doing a spinebuster... and continued the match. It took a slightly downturn after the injury because no one knew what to do. Some people give guys props for continuing on when hurt like this. I tend to take the longview approach that continuing to work when injured is just stupid. End the match in a timely fashion and don't risk making things worse. I will give Triple H credit in that he noticeably did things to avoid doing further damage to his leg like basically twisting while doing the Pedigree so he landed on his other side. But, this match just sort of devolved by the end with Shawn Michaels taking out the ref and Edge and Orton both horribly bloodied. Orton especially. He was COVERED and openly spurting blood from his head. Nasty blade job. The whole thing ended with Triple H pedigreeing Edge on the announce desk, while Michaels delivered an elbow drop off the top rope onto the Spanish announce desk where Orton was. There was no bell, but it was clear that DX took the DQ. An odd match that is both impressive and a little hard to watch when you look at it in the larger context of its time.
Winners and STILL World Tag Team Champions (vis disqualification): Rated RKO [***]

Match #6: Chris Masters vs. Carlito
A little nothing feud and nothing match. Masters is better now, but Carlito didn't seem to care too much. He did do the two-rope springboard that always looks awesome, but otherwise? This was just a filler between the two big matches on the card. It suffered from a surprising out of nowhere win that just stopped the match and didn't feel organic in any way.
Winner: Chris Masters [*1/2]

Match #7: WWE Championship Match -- John Cena (C) vs. Umaga
Going into this, Umaga was basically unstoppable and had never been pinned or made to submit (not sure if he was undefeated entirely -- he may have suffered DQ losses). This match was John Cena getting the shit kicked out of him for 15 minutes with every attempt at offence either failing or doing almost nothing. Umaga would get knocked down and before Cena was up after hitting the move, Umaga was on his feet and charging. During the match, Jim Ross made a comparison between Umaga and Yokozuna that made my eyes roll, because Umaga was so quick and agile. I still hate that he was saddled with this gimmick -- if he had a more 'normal' character, he could have been a consistent main eventer. He had power and speed. I don't know... he was always a guy who really impressed me in the ring for his ability to do almost anything and do it well. You don't see many big guys with his speed and agility and it seemed wasted on a one-note monster sort of character. This match was pretty good. It was a long squash match in many ways with Cena barely holding on and, eventually, picking up the win by a quick roll-up that happened to work. He didn't so much win as get lucky that he survived. Apparently, their rematch at the Royal Rumble was even better. Since I knew that match happened, I expected Umaga to lose via disqualification here. The squeaker of a win was a better choice, because Cena got to walk away with some pride... but that empty kind where everyone (including him) knows that he didn't earn the win really. He got lucky.
Winner and STILL WWE Champion: John Cena [**3/4]

This PPV shows off why the brand extension isn't taken too seriously by the WWE anymore. You think cards now are empty and mostly filler? Take a look at this one! It's nice to see midcarders get to work PPVs, but this was a two, maybe three, match show. The other matches were good for the most part, but, aside from the opener, the DX/Rated RKO, and WWE Championship matches, does anyone care? And no one in those other matches made us care here. A middling, mediocre show. But, hey, at five bucks, I'm not complaining.

Show Rating: 5.0 (out of 10)

Smarkass Reviews: WWE Royal Rumble 2009

I've been to two WWE live shows. The first was an ECW/Smackdown tapping on May 6, 2008 (ECW aired that night, Smackdown aired on May 9) in London, Ontario, and that was really fun. The second was the 2009 Royal Rumble in Detroit after Michelle got us tickets as my Christmas/birthday present. I was very excited since the Royal Rumble is my favourite PPV of the year. I love the Royal Rumble match and how it kicks off the stories leading to WrestleMania. Seeing it live was insane. Since I'd been to the show, this was also the first PPV I bought on DVD, so I could have a permanent reminder of that night. The night itself was fun, but cold. Cold and Michelle had hurt her ankle, so she couldn't walk too quickly. But, it was great. So, let's take a quick walk down memory lane...

Match #1: ECW Championship Match -- Jack Swagger (C) vs. Matt Hardy
How far we've come in a year-and-a-half. Pretty much everyone involved in this match is on Smackdown now, including Tony Chimel (ring announcer) and Matt Striker & Todd Grisham (commentators). They talk up Swagger's potential and, yeah, I'd say he lived up to some of that. The ECW title was huge, physically. I loved that belt -- the final, silver version they had. This match was fine. Nothing special really. You could see the beginnings of Swagger's ability, while Hardy did a good job in making Swagger look decent. Odd moment when Hardy goes for a moonsault and it was one of the worst moonsaults I've ever seen. Nearly botched entirely. This was the sort of match I hate: a guy wins the belt just before the PPV, so he's going to retain automatically. More about giving Swagger a chance to do some PPV work than anything else.
Winner and STILL ECW Champion: Jack Swagger [**1/2]

Match #2: WWE Women's Championship Match -- Beth Phoenix (C) vs. Melina
Wow, a Divas match that didn't constantly make me cringe. This was a good effort by both women and has one of the few memorable Divas spots: Beth Phoenix bending Melina's leg back and using it to beat Melina in the head. For some reason, the ref broke that up and I can't figure out why except that if it continued much longer, Melina would have lost right there and then. Melina won and looked pretty good doing it in the upset. Fun fact: for Halloween in 2008, Michelle and I dressed up as Beth Phoenix and Santino Marella.
Winner and NEW WWE Women's Champion: Melina [**]

Match #3: WWE World Heavyweight Championship Match -- John Cena (C) vs. JBL
The story here was JBL employing Shawn Michaels after Michaels lost all of his savings in the economic crash of 2008. Prior to the match, JBL promises Michaels all of the money JBL would have paid him over the course of his employment, a release from JBL's employment, and a Royal Rumble spot if Michaels makes sure JBL wins the belt off Cena. After JBL leaves, Michaels turns and there's the Undertaker to say "Sometimes, it's Hell trying to get into Heaven." Nice tease for their WrestleMania match. This match was enjoyable. Cena started strong, but JBL's brutality and the odd distraction from Michaels shifted things JBL's way for a lot of the match. The big moment came when JBL accidentally nailed the ref with a big boot and Michaels entered the ring, delivering a superkick to JBL and THEN! hit one on Cena, too. He put JBL's body on Cena and went to the back to get a ref. But, he took too long and Cena kicked out, hit the FU, and retained the belt. A solid, entertaining match that set up the match at No Way Out between Michaels and JBL.
Winner and STILL WWE World Heavyweight Champion: John Cena [***]

Match #4: No Disqualification Match for the WWE Championship -- Jeff Hardy (C) vs. Edge
Hardy had won the title (his first world championship) the previous month in a triple threat match against Triple H and Edge. Prior to this match, Vickie Guerrero (then-Smackdown General Manager and 'wife' of Edge) came out and made it a no DQ match. This match was a fun one to see live, because I'm a fan of Edge, but not a Jeff Hardy fan really, so I cheered Edge and booed Hardy. This little kid, maybe eight or nine sitting in front of us noticed and it blew his mind. He looked at me and couldn't fathom how someone could cheer for Edge, while also booing Jeff Hardy. For the rest of the match, we would cheer/boo for our respective people while giving looks to one another. Yes, I started a feud against a little kid at a wrestling event (in good fun, I must add). This match was really strong, I thought. Hardy was motivated and both men worked their asses off. There was a spot that tells you everything you need to know about the Jeff Hardy character: he jumps off a ladder through the announce table on Chavo Guerrero, who was at ringside. Yeah, he risked an injury and getting beat down to take out someone other than his opponent. Hardy in a nutshell. This was also the match that finished the big story of someone trying to take Hardy out permanently. It was apparently supposed to be Christian's return to the WWE, but that's what everyone assumed, so the WWE swerved and went with... Matt Hardy. Yet another example of McMahon choosing 'surprising' over 'good.' It didn't make much sense when Matt nailed Jeff with a chair and it didn't work as a feud, but it would have made sense with Christian. I wonder how it would have played out with Christian instead. Nonetheless, a better match than I remember. Hardy looked especially impressive. It puts his recent work at TNA into perspective a bit.
Winner and NEW WWE Champion: Edge [***3/4]

Match #5: Royal Rumble Match
I'll do this one bullet point style.

* The match began with Rey Mysterio and John Morrison. Watching it tonight, I ranted about Mysterio being a chickenshit pussy coward. Michelle disagreed. What? He is! He attacks people without notice and runs away. He spends most of the Royal Rumble on the ground, clinging to the ropes. He always relies on being the 'underdog' to act as a reason to not stand up and fight with honour. He acts like a heel most of the time. It's funny how people love him.

* Before the first entry, Mysterio was on the ground, clinging to the bottom rope.

* Number of people in the match no longer with the WWE: five (Carlito, Mike Knox, The Brian Kendrick, Shelton Benjamin, and "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan) plus Rob Van Dam, but his appearance was a 'one night only' thing, so that doesn't count. Still, a year-and-a-half later and 20% of the people in this match aren't with the WWE anymore.

* I assume that Cryme Tyme were given the spot being held for Shawn Michaels in case JBL won the belt, because they needed to flip a coin to see who would enter the Rumble. JTG cheated and used a double-sided coin. Thus began Shad seeing that it needed to be his tyme.

* Kozlov enters the match and immediately eliminates the Great Khali. It's funny to see old Kozlov stuff where he was booked as a threat. Now? He teams up with Santino.

* Pre-"Dashing" Cody Rhodes is not nearly as awesome as "Dashing" Cody Rhodes, but his confrontation with Goldust was fantastic. Goldust makes both Rhodes and Ted DiBiase look like bitches until Randy Orton walks over, hits the RKO, and instructs Cody on how to toss his big brother over the top rope, while DiBiase gets his ass kicked behind them. The Legacy storytelling was great.

* Kane enters, kicks tons of ass until it's just him and the Undertaker standing. They look at one another and resume kicking everyone else's ass.

* Cody Rhodes skins the cat, like, 39 times in this match.

* The Big Show enters at #30 and has a staredown with the Undertaker until Kane comes out of nowhere to punch Big Show in the face.

* Santino is in! out already...

* Man, I miss The Brian Kendrick. I like his character (when he appears) on TNA now, but the funny dancing and singing along to his own entrance music? AWESOME. I've made Michelle laugh many times by doing Kendrick's little dance with his arms out at his sides.

* JR and the King could barely keep up at a few times because, like, half of the 30 guys were in the ring at one time.

* The final six: Big Show, Undertaker, Triple H, and all three members of Legacy. The four 'groups' were in a corner.

* The Big Show is the definition of a sore loser as he eliminates the Undertaker after he was just eliminated. Baby.

* Rhodes and DiBiase act as cannon fodder, so Orton can eliminate Trips for the win and, then, he fails to find his mark to set off the fireworks and conclude the show.

* All in all, a very entertaining match. The right guy won and I loved the use of the Legacy faction. One of the few times it actually accomplished anything.

Winner: Randy Orton [****]

Show Rating: 8.0 (out of 10)

Smarkass Reviews: WWE Judgment Day 2006

Another $5 WWE pay-per-view on DVD from Wal-Mart. Since the last one I got was Judgment Day 2007, I thought I'd go with Judgment Day 2006 just for fun. Why not go back a year and see what the PPV was like then? Well, this one is from when the brand extension in the WWE resulted in brand-specific PPVs. Judgment Day was a Smackdown-only PPV. I kind of regret that I missed this period in the WWE since it sounds like fun and a way to keep PPVs interesting since you wouldn't get burned out on the same guys every three or four weeks. It's also a good way to give more midcard talent a chance to shine. There are a few matches here that I don't think would make it onto a WWE PPV right now (some for good reason), but it's nice to see them giving certain guys a spot on the PPV. I'm not sure they have the depth of talent to pull it off now -- but it would be interesting if they gave it a try again. Anyway, let's get onto Judgment Day 2006.

Match #1: WWE Tag Team Championship Match -- MNM (C) vs. Brian Kendrick & Paul London
The story going into this match was that London and Kendrick had beaten MNM five times already, just not for the belts. This was a great match to kick things off with Kendrick and London going at top speed whenever on offence, but Mercury and Nitro played the classic tag team heels perfectly. They worked the ref, cheated as much as possible, and even got Melina into the act a few times. There was some good back and forth in spots along with double-teaming by MNM that ultimately backfired. What annoyed me about this match was how much young, raw talent there was here and, now, only one of these guys is still with the WWE (well, I guess Mercury has signed with them again, but hasn't been seen officially, so...). This match kicked off a yearlong reign as tag champs by London and Kendrick, too. Really, just some really good tag team wrestling. I also liked the stuff after the match where Melina and Nitro turned on Mercury. It made sense given the story and gave the PPV a sense of importance beyond just the title change.
Winners and NEW WWE Tag Team Champions: Brian Kendrick & Paul London [***1/2]

Match #2: Chris Benoit vs. Finlay
Later in the PPV is the finals of the King of the Ring tournament and these two met in the first round where Finlay won by cheating. So, it's a bit of a grudge match between two of the stiffest workers in the business. This was just a class in fantastic mat-based wrestling mixed with hard-hitting, smashmouth action. The match began with the two locked up, trying to overpower the other, even rolling outside the ring (still locked up) until it broke. Then, it was a series of holds before it got into just brutal action. Both men just beat the other down, Finlay trying to cheat a few times to no avail -- until Finlay made the mistake of taunting Benoit a bit too much. Benoit won via the Crossface, but both men looked fantastic. I turned to Michelle and said that, in a better world, this would have been the main event. Instead, it was just the best match of the night. At this point in the show, I was really impressed with what I was seeing. That wouldn't last entirely.
Winner: Chris Benoit [****]

Match #3: Jillian Hall vs. Melina
After the break-up of MNM, Melina went into this match distracted. It was a fine enough Divas match. Leagues ahead of the shit we usually see now, but nothing too special either. Jillian won despite Melina grabbing the rope (the ref didn't see). After the match, there was a run-in between Melina and Kristal that was... well, lame. This was a nice breather match after the first two, both of which were great and were also decent lengths.
Winner: Jillian Hall [*1/2]

Match #4: WWE Cruiserweight Championship Match -- Gregory Helmes (C) vs. Super Crazy
I didn't know what to expect of this match since I haven't seen a lot of either man. Bits and pieces here and there, never at a PPV. Helms is the heel champ, while Super Crazy the face that jumps around a lot. The story of this match is somewhat similar to the current one involving Douglas Williams as X-Division Champion in TNA where Williams wrestles a mat-based style against the high-flyers. Now, Helms does high-flying stuff, too, but stuck to the ground mostly here, because he's the heel. Honestly, this didn't impress me really. Neither man ever really got things going. It just puttered along in 2nd gear, never rising above a certain level. Helms won via cheating and I didn't care. The first match that felt like a let down of the show.
Winner and STILL WWE Cruiserweight Champion: Gregory Helms [*3/4]

Interlude
Between the matches here, there was a great backstage segment where Smackdown General Manager Teddy Long (hey, he's still got that job despite being demoted/fired in story at least once) had a run-in with Johnny Nitro and Melina that resulted in both being fired. Good stuff and built on the two matches involving them well. This PPV had a solid little MNM story running through it for the first half.

Match #5: Kurt Angle vs. Mark Henry
I wasn't expecting a lot from this. Kurt Angle is one of the best in the business and Mark Henry is a great big man, but that doesn't mean it would be a great match necessarily. The story here was simple: Mark Henry keeps jumping on Kurt Angle while Angle is laid out on tables, and Angle would like Kenry to stop. The storytelling here was really strong where Henry tried to wrestle his usual 'big man squash little man' match, while Angle outsmarted him, countering any power moves until making a mistake of his own. I love it when a wrestler of a certain skill level wrestles at that level with intelligence in the ring. Angle does so here. Eventually, the match resulted in Henry winning via countout, but, after the match, Angle got revenge by laying him out, sticking the ankle lock on, and, then, hitting him with the Angle Slam on the announce table. While Angle lost the match technically, he came away on top. Not an amazing match, but great storytelling. Better than I expected.
Winner: Mark Henry [***]

Match #6: King of the Ring Finals -- Booker T vs. Bobby Lashley
The pre-match segment here with Booker T was gold. The more I see of Booker T, the more I realise how underrated he is when considering the best wrestlers of the past 20 years. That he was the only guy to really see any lasting success from the WCW guys after the WWE bought that company speaks volumes. Sharmell running through the list of kings Booker will be better than was great, especially when she said Martin Luther King and Booker responded with "What?!?" before being won over. This match was also better than I expected. Lashley was limited in the ring to some pretty basic power moves, nothing flashy -- but Booker T brought the flash. Lots of agility and overacting to make things look better. I wasn't a big fan of the finish with Finlay coming down, but since Lashley beat him to earn a spot in the finals and Finlay later became a member of King Booker's royal court, it works. A bonus on the DVD is the coronation of Booker on the next Smackdown, which is worth it for William Regal doing the ceremony and ending things by repeating "Long live King Booker" over and over again.
Winner and the 2006 King of the Ring: Booker T King Booker [**1/2]

Match #7: The Undertaker vs. The Great Khali
This was just after Khali first entered the WWE (he's been there for over four years? shit...) and took out the Undertaker immediately. The sole goal was to make Khali seem like a big threat, which happens. 'Taker puts him over big time, while doing his best to carry the match despite Khali knowing all of three moves. It doesn't really work, but it sells Khali as a threat for the way he just destroys the Undertaker at the end.
Winner: The Great Khali [*]

Match #8: WWE World Heavyweight Championship Match -- Rey Mysterio (C) vs. JBL
Hmm, with Rey Rey becoming a two-time world champ this past Sunday, this match suddenly gains new meaning as we get to see what sort of champion he was the first time around. Well, in the weeks leading up to this match, he lost to Mark Henry, the Great Khali, and Kane. Just crushed by all of them. The entire match is JBL kicking the shit out of Mysterio, just beating him down again and again with brutal, punishing moves. Tossing him from one side of the ring to the other like a rag doll. Taunting him with allusions to Eddie Guerrero. Basically, JBL makes Rey Mysterio his bitch in this match and Rey wins anyway. Rey is the underdog even when champion, which doesn't work at all. I hope they do things better this time around, because this was a good match until the finish where we learn two things: 1) Rey Mysterio can take a superhuman amount of punishment; 2) JBL can be beaten with, like, three moves.
Winner and STILL WWE World Heavyweight Champion: Rey Mysterio [**1/2]

Overall, this was better than I thought it would be -- and better than the Judgment Day that would follow it. Only a few matches were letdowns, while the show began quite strong. Granted, the matches that bested my expectations weren't fantastic, I wasn't disappointed with this show at all.

Show Rating: 7.0 (out of 10)

Smarkass Reviews: WWE Judgment Day 2007

I bought this yesterday at Wal-Mart for five bucks. They had a bunch more like Judgment Day 2006, Cyber-Sunday 2006, and that awful December to Dismember ECW-only PPV. This one looked like the best of the bunch judging from the match list. Last month, when I was in Wal-Mart, they had the same DVDs, but I picked up The Spectacular Legacy of the AWA two-disc set for five bucks. That had a fantastic documentary feature on the AWA. Michelle loves the DVD sets with documentaries and I'm definitely with her there. We haven't watched many of the matches, though, after a couple were disappointing by not being the full matches. Anyway, moving on to the business at hand: Judgment Day 2007.

A short history of myself and wrestling: I grew up watching it because my dad watched it. He gave up on it before I did. I gave up on sometime near the end of high school/beginning of university, somewhere in the 2000-2002 range. I would occasionally stop on it if I came across it, so I have a vague awareness of certain things, but, for the most part, didn't watch it. In September 2007, I moved in with a fellow grad student and friend, Adam. Adam was a big wrestling fan and he quickly got me back into it and I've been a loyal watcher ever since. I watch WWE pretty steadily same with TNA and a little bit of indy stuff. Judgment Day 2007 took place on May 20, 2007, a good five months before I got back into wrestling. So, this is all new to me. I know pretty much everyone involved and am aware of some of the feuds, but not everything. Immediately, I'm amused that, out of the 20 wrestlers involved on the card, 12 of them are no longer with the WWE, though two of them (Carlito and Batista) are very recent departures.

One good thing about WWE pay-per-views is that they usually pad them out a bit with video packages that explain feuds -- something that makes randomly dipping into DVDs from the past pretty easy. I had a basic understanding of a lot of the feuds with these matches, but it definitely helped Michelle have some idea of who some people were or what the story going into the match was.

Match #1: Ric Flair vs. Carlito
The story here is that Flair saw something in Carlito and being the legend that he is, decided to take Carlito under his wing and make him into a superstar. Carlito refused and Flair responded by calling him unmotivated and arrogant... so, basically, this match and story was a summation of Carlito's entire time in the WWE: a talented performer that could (and should) have done so much more, but was held back by a lack of motivation and a sense that he was better than others. The match was an odd choice for an opening bout. Usually, you want something that will get the crowd hot and this didn't do it for the most part. Sure, people cheered Flair, but that's what people do. By this point, Flair was coasting on his status -- making this feud even funnier. His offence in this match consisted of chops to the chest and... well, he won with a Figure Four. Carlito, meanwhile, stuck to working Flair's left arm for some reason. Carlito is normally quicker and more acrobatic, and this style definitely didn't suit him. He displayed some nice passion, but was pretty boring otherwise. The closest we got to his regular style was a dropkick outside the ring to Flair's arm while it was resting against the ring post. Carlito seemed to be wrestling a Ric Flair match instead of his own match and considering he needed to look good here, it was a little baffling. It wouldn't have been so bad as a five-minute match, but it just went on and on and on and on...
Winner: Ric Flair [*1/2]

Match #2: 3-on-1 Handicap Match for the ECW World Championship -- Mr. McMahon (C), Shane McMahon & Umaga vs. Bobby Lashley
At Backlash (the previous PPV), Vince McMahon won the ECW title from Bobby Lashley in this very match: 3-on-1 handicap match. Now, the rematch with Vince bringing along his son and Umaga for insurance. The crowd was solidly behind Lashley and the match was mercifully short with Lashley dominating, taking out Shane and Umaga in short order, and getting the pin on Shane for the win. After the match, he yelled at Vince to come back to the ring and, just as Vince was going to enter, Umaga attacked Lashley, knocking him out with the Samoan Spike. McMahon got on the mic and said that Lashley may have won the match, but not the title since he didn't pin Vince. The match was energetic and quick, very nicely planned out, but this was an angle, not a match. Pretty sure the video package for it was longer than the match.
Winner, but NOT new ECW Champion: Bobby Lashley [1/2*]

Match #3: CM Punk vs. Elijah Burke
Since I didn't watch ECW when I got back into wrestling (as it was on Fridays nights at midnight here at the time), I pretty much missed Elijah Burke in the WWE despite him being around for a few months when I was watching. I dig him in TNA as "The Pope" D'Angelo Dinero and, judging from this match, he's definitely a better fit in TNA with that character. He and Punk put on a pretty good match. This probably should have kicked things off since it was definitely more energetic and exciting than the Flair/Carlito match. The story here is that Elijah Burke was the leader of a faction called the New Breed that was feuding with the ECW Originals (as ECW was its own company in the '90s and these stars were part of the company then), and Burke wanted CM Punk in his faction. Punk joined, but quickly betrayed the New Breed, wanting to destroy them from the inside. Since then, he'd worked his way through them until this match. Solid story and the match was based around Punk's injured ribs, which were taped up. Punk was clearly a guy who was going places, while Burke didn't seem entirely comfortable yet. Lots of good back-and-forth with some solid false finishes. At this point, it was easily the best match of the night. CM Punk picked up the win and looked very good in the process. Who doesn't love the Go To Sleep?
Winner: CM Punk [***]

Match #4: Shawn Michaels vs. Randy Orton
Earlier in the show, we got briefed on the backstory of this match: Michaels suffered a concussion at the hands of the Great Khali, which was only made worse by Orton punting him in the skull. During this recap (which was during a backstage interview), Orton attacked Michaels and slammed him face first into a metal beam. Michaels was later told by a doctor that he wasn't fit to compete. So, Orton came out and demanded that he be announced as the winner of the match by forfeit. Just as it was happening, Michaels's music hit and he comes stumbling out. No one could do injured/tired/out of it like Shawn Michaels. He was the master. He looked drunk, which seems the right way to play up concussed and barely conscious. He barely got in the ring and the match began. Orton just beat on him until Michaels got off a move or two, even climbing the ropes for his trademark elbow drop, which he hit. All that was left was Sweet Chin Music, but when it came time for it, he just fell down. The ref stopped the match and, after, when the ref was helping Michaels up, Orton nailed him with the RKO just for fun. Michaels was taken out on a stretcher with his wife crying by his side. Not much of a match, but entertaining nonetheless because of Michaels selling the injury so well. Also, nice to see the old Randy Orton entrance with his old music and the pose.
Winner: Randy Orton [*]

Match #5: World Tag Team Championship Match -- The Hardys (C) vs. Trevor Murdoch & Lance Cade
I don't have much to say about this. The Hardys did their usual routine and this match was a little too long. Nothing special and showed why Cade and Murdoch never really went anywhere. Though, I will say that Cade looked in great shape. He had potential, definitely.
Winners and STILL World Tag Team Champions: The Hardys [**]

Match #6: World Heavyweight Championship Match -- Edge (C) vs. Batista
This match happened because of two injuries. First, the winner of Money in the Bank at WrestleMania that year, Mr. Kennedy, was injured, so they had him drop the briefcase containing a contract for a title shot to Edge. Then, the World Heavyweight Champion the Undertaker got injured, so they had Edge cash in the Money in the Bank briefcase and take the belt after a cage match with Batista. Batista, having lost the belt to the Undertaker at WrestleMania insisted it was his and Edge stole it. This match was surprisingly weak. I was expecting more from the two, but it was just under five minutes of pretty tame action with an abrupt finish. Was Batista also injured in real life at the time? If so... yikes.
Winner and STILL World Heavyweight Champion: Edge [*1/2]

Match #7: 2-Out-of-3 Falls Match for the United States Championship -- Chris Benoit (C) vs. MVP
Okay, a match featuring Chris Benoit. My position on Benoit is that I view his wrestling and the actions of his final days alive as two separate things. I can appreciate his in-ring work while hating what he did to his wife, son, and himself. Some people can't and I respect that, but that's not my position. This match is especially a little difficult with that regard coming only a couple of months before that horrific weekend. But, at the same time, this shows why Benoit was so well respected in the ring by so many. This was definitely the best match of the night with Benoit making sure MVP looked incredibly strong in his victory. The first fall would have been a pretty solid match alone with the two matching one another well. The story here was that MVP had slowly gotten better and better against Benoit with this being his chance to prove himself completely and win the US belt. Lots of good counters and equal shows of strength. After their various confrontations, both men knew one another well, and it was hard to say who would get the upper hand, especially when Benoit locked in the Crippler Crossface. But, MVP eventually nailed the Playmaker for the first fall victory. The second fall was just MVP dominating. No matter what Benoit did to counter or try to mount a comeback, MVP countered himself and beat Benoit down again. MVP even applied a genuinely painful-looking submission hold that was a variation on a single-legged boston crab, but with the leg pulled by both legs over the back of MVP neck, so he could apply more pressure. Benoit sold it well. By the time MVP actually scored the pin, he looked like he could be going after a world belt. Benoit knew what his job was here and that was putting over a younger guy. Not many better ways than dropping two straight falls to him in a 2-Out-of-3 Falls match since usually those use all three falls. I've never seen MVP look this dominant and fantastic since.
Winner and NEW United States Champion: MVP [****]

Match #8: WWE Champsionship Match -- John Cena (C) vs. The Great Khali
One of the WWE's attempts to recreate Hulk Hogan/Andre the Giant with John Cena and a big man. Khali looked unstoppable, Cena was unafraid, and Cena eventually won in a pretty typical match for its type. Not a bad match at all, and Khali hasn't done much better work that I've seen. But still, not a fantastic bout, and the STFU finisher would have worked better if Khali's foot didn't keep hitting the rope. It also makes the later story where Cena couldn't get the STFU on the Big Show look even dumber than it was.
Winner and STILL WWE Champion: John Cena [**]

Overall, not the best PPV I've ever seen. Only two matches really rose above a mediocre level, which isn't a good sign. Then again, the Michaels/Orton one was entertaining. Especially disappointing were the world belt matches.

Show Rating: 5.0 (out of 10)