Time flies by!

Here we are several years after my last post.  It's fun to look back and see where we were then and where we are now.  We just celebrated Mother's Day on 5/10/15 and I have to say that this was the first yer that I have not had a complete and total melt down or decided to shut down all emotions.  It was actually an incredible day.  Having the experience of leading the Primary kids during Sacrament meeting as they sang to the women of our ward was a great experience, and then during our Singing time, I was able to express my testimony to our sweet primary kids about the atonement of Jesus Christ, His resurrection and that He made it possible for me to see my children again some day.  I really enjoyed being able to feel such an amazing and sweet spirit as I taught them the song Gethsemane and helped them to understand that Jesus' atonement is not just a "story."  It really did happen and He did it for each of us and all of us.  Even the last time I posted on here, I don't think I would have been able to appreciate the joy of knowing that.  I've had to give myself time to heal, and grow, and learn again.  Believing in something and knowing it through traveling the trail, are very different things, and even though I've always believed that Jesus loves me and that He died for me, I didn't know it as surely as I do now.  I needed these experiences and years to help me recognize the absolute truth of it.
I love my children, and I miss them very much, but I am so thankful for the opportunity I have been given to deepen my understanding of the Atonement, and the very real sacrifice that Jesus made for me.  I am truly a very blessed woman, and I am grateful to know it!

Spring time

Here we are in the beautiful month of April. We are gearing up for some pretty big spring time home improvements. We are redoing the fence, sprucing up the back yard, getting the front flower garden in shape and planting the veggies in the backyard garden. Brett is eagerly anticipating the possiblity of buying a new motorcycle this summer, and the puppies are helping me get my swimsuit body ready. So far, things in the Burton home are going great! Hope to see you all soon. All our love to you!

Thoughts

I have been thinking about my babies again. Not that I ever really stop, it's just that sometimes I think about them a lot during the day, and other times its a little less in your face. But I think that there is something big coming. They keep being front and center in my thoughts. Like they are trying to get my attention. Last night I dreamt about Taylor. he was a big boy. And so beautiful. He had the cutest little face. I miss that face. And sometimes in my dreams, I see a fuzzy little kid out of the corner of my eye. I really can't wait to meet him. To finally see my other little boy. I want that so much.

Tomorrow is the three year anniversary of Taylor's death. It seems crazy to think that three years has passed and the world is still spinning and life is still going on. And yet it is. Brett and I are living our lives, playing with our puppies and working at our jobs. We laugh and joke and enjoy our life together. Even though that piece of the puzzle is missing right now, we know where it is. The picture will never be complete here, no matter what, but we haven't lost it. Taylor is still our son and is still our baby. We love him and miss him, but we have realized that life does not stop just because some one cannot be with us, and that is the way it should be. We are grateful for his life, we are happy he is ours' and we are still living our lives even though he is apart from us. Because Temple covenants allow us to have him forever.

FALL

I love this time of year because the scenery is beautiful. I Don't love this time of year because it starts getting cold. But, I guess all the fun winter holidays make up for the bad weather. Brett and I are doign well. I go next week for our 17 week check up and then the ultrasound the week after hopefully. Love to all. Brett and Jenni

Update on Brett and Jenni

well, the majority of you know that we got a puppy. he's weimaraner/lab mix and he's cute, but a monster! His name is Dozer and he's completely black. He's growing like a weed! And he likes to eat weeds. We will likely never have to weedeat around our yard ever again thanks to this puppy.
We are also continuing to work on our house and improve things there. work is going well for both of us and we are very thankful that there is work for us. We know many people are struggling, and we are thankful that we have the opportunity to work.
Well, really that's us right now. Hope everyone else is doing great!

one year

We are coming up on the one year anniversary of Taylor's death and I am just not sure what to do. We want to do something to remember him, but I don't want to have a re funeral or anything. Just remember the beautiful baby he is. I've been thinking a lot about him and the fun this we were doing last year at this time. He was about to get out of his harness, his hip had finally finished forming. He had just discovered how fun toys were and he was beginning to interact more with us. He still loved to sleep all day and snuggle with mommy and daddy whenever he could. I really miss him. But I am glad to know that he is healthy and happy. That's where the confusion is for me. I'm happy for him, but I want him with me. I want everyone to get to meet him and know the special little boy he is. I feel sad that others can't do that now. He is a beautiful person.