yes, anna, alyssa lives in new york

we are working on anna's pillow (I am) and the cbs evening news is on in the other room. i didn't realize i was listening until anna said "mom, alyssa is going to be on the news." i realized the news caster had said something about "the new york people" as i answered her "alyssa is not going to be on the news." anna replied "but doesn't she live in new york? that makes her a new york people."

silly quiz

this photo refers to question #13 (thanks emily, it will always be on my wall).

1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn on page 18 and find a line:
"It's the perfect gift for those who love nuts in the shell." (western nut company brochure--don't ask why)

2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can:
nothing, but if i turn around i can hit my kids in the heads! wonderful!

3. What is the last thing you watched on TV?
elimiDATE...lame. i couln't find mad about you and i think elimiDATE has taken it's time slot. i am mad about that. the tv didn't get turned off. i didn't watch that on purpose. i never do.

4. Without looking, guess what time it is?
1:38 pm

5. Now look at the clock, what is the actual time?
1:46 pm (i am pretty good--but not as good as tiff)

6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
It sounds like "Disco Sweat" with Richard Simmons. the kids really like Richard.

7. When did you last step outside?
Just a bit ago

8. What were you doing?
getting my purse out of the trunk of my car to get the fabric from the purse to help anna make the pillow for her teacher.

9. Before you started this survey, what did you look at?
The Quilter's Cache--for info on how to make yo-yo's for anna's pillow. i don't think i will do them this time.

10. What are you wearing?
jean skirt, red shirt, white cami, & black flip-flops (because there is sand all over my floor otherwise i would not be wearing shoes).

11. Did you dream last night?
last night? not last night. but all the nights before for the last week, yes. interpretation please: a gal from church got up to bear her testimony and all she did was tell everyone how undependable i am and irresponsible. and that they should not listen to me or be my friend. i had to teach the next day (and i really did in real life) and i remember that i felt terribly inadequate and ashamed. it was a high stress dream.

12. When did you last laugh?
well, i chuckled at anna's graduation program at some of the kids and their singing and dancing. but i haven't had a good-hard-hurt-your-stomach laugh in a while. i need one.

13. What is on the wall of the room you are in?
calendar day-by-day page from Mr. Rogers. it says
"How essential it is to find safe ways of expressing how we feel about what is important to us."

peanuts calendar page:
Lucy: No one ever asks me what i think of something.
Charlie: Well, what do you think of something.
Lucy: Who knows?

a certificate that reads:
The Faculty and Board of Managers of
Burton Home Engineering
certify to all that
Liz Burton (in big bold fancy letters)
has been certified as Senior Home Manager.
it is signed and dated: 8/14/04 Shawn Burton
i have since moved up in ranks to President and CEO (self-appointed and no certificate)

and the above mentioned photo of the cartoon (my favorite)

14. Seen anything wierd lately?
my neighbors: spooky, spanky, the circus lady, and the he/she but like alyssa, they have become my norm

15. What is the last film you saw?
um, i think it was the davinci code bit i did catch a glimpse of "Disco Sweat"

16. If you became a multimillionaire overnight, what would you buy?
i wouldn't buy anything. i would donate it all to charity. okay i would probably pay my tithing
and buy everyone that i like cruise tickets for around the world (i would pay for their time off too. i wouldn't want anyone to have any excuses).

17. Tell me something about you that i don't know.
i really like to listen to talk radio--bob, rush, glenn, laura (sometimes she bugs), george, art, ian, steve, grocery guru (i really don't like him but i like the deals), drudge, etc

18.Do you like to dance?
what kind of question is that? LOVE to DANCE! it all began with the church dances. although, i never did get kicked out (except that i left because alyssa was my ride i'm sure) and i never had to take a breathalizer. and i never smacked anyone like mickey and get into a yelling fight over it although i stood behind her. i did wear shorts under skirts to do cool moves.

19. 5 people who must also do this in their blog.
um i don't think i know that many people who read my blog. if you do you could let me know and give me a boost of self-confidence (just don't tell me you read it and think it's lousy-thanks).

some of my favorite movies in no particular order

the sound of music
return to me
when harry met sally...
my fair lady
charade
clue
phenomenom
what about bob?
steel magnolias (for a good laugh & a good cry)
holiday inn
buffy the vampire slayer (not the tv show)
can't buy me love (McDreamie way-back when)
the private eyes
father of the bride

summer: cons and pros

cons:

• hot, hot, hot
• road construction EVERYWHERE
• hot (did i mention that?)
• sand from the sandbox in my house--EVERYWHERE
• weeds
• hot nights
• going to mesquite to visit in-laws where at midnight it is still 100 degrees and the wind blows and it feels like a giant hair dryer in your face
• road construction
• shawn tends to be stinkier on summer nights
• it's too hot to cook (really, it is)
• the swamper doesn't work well on rainy humid days
• running the dryer makes it all hotter
• kids are dirtier
• heat gives me headaches
• i am lazier (if that is possible)
• when it's hot, i am grumpier

pros:

• august 14th
• flowers
• yardwork (in the morning shade or evening shade)
• sun shines more (i don't really need my blue light in the summer)--longer days
• kids can play outside all day and not get bored
• plays, movies, concerts at the ampitheater or park
• camping
• laying on the hot cement and soaking in the sun after running in the sprinklers (a good memory from my childhood--i don't think people would like to see me running around in the sprinklers these days)
• fresh tomatoes from the garden eaten right off the vine--YUMMY
• bbq's
• summer thunderstorms
• tin-foil dinners
• flip-flops (in my day they were thongs--i don't do thongs of today(ouch))
• no school
• lazy days
• walking in the grass barefoot (it releases the poisons)

i have been making this list in my head the last couple of days. i am trying to fit optimism into my daily thought routine. i thought that focusing on my likes of the summer would help. it did. but i did have to make my list of dislikes. it's all therapy for me. i guess all in all summer ain't too bad. it also helps now that i am almost off the effexor. my core temperature is coming down. it almost feels good again. i am almost looking forward to the summer. we will see. i have one more week of effexor 37.5 mg. then will be the tell-all. i am a bit scared. i still get massive headaches randomly. and i randomly have shocks that feel like my phone on vibrate throughout my body--they don't hurt but they do startle me. and probably at least once a week i feel like i have the flu. hopefully it will all go away soon enough. it is worth trying.

anyway, happy summer!

observations from my night out with the girls

1. apparently mitshibishi(?) monteros are compact cars not suvs. at least the one parked in the "compact" parking stall thinks it is an extra small car.
2. sonic's "picnic" area is a smoking establishment (perhaps the only smoking establishment in utah).
3. some people's children will not be affected by their parent's choice to smoke around them. really lady, with all the troubles your child will face on his own in his lifetime, do you have to make it harder for him? especially now when we all know the damage smoking can do? PLEASE don't be stupid.
4. parents, especially mothers of young teen girls, help your child dress appropriately. it can be done. there are just some things most girls should not wear. love them. help them. they can even still be cool. and mothers of young things, start early. i think it's easier to start when they are little. i could be wrong, who knows.
5. i really love good sales.

good day at the dentist...mostly

we, the whole fam dam,

have survived the dentist

with only a few minor complications.

no pulpotomies

no root canals

just some decay

in everyone else's teeth.

me,

i have to see the endodontis

(not to be confused with the proctologist).

a former root canal and crown

have to be redone.

i am okay

as long as i have my prescription

for valium.

i love my new dentist.

confessions of a library patron

i used to love to go to the library. especially to check out movies. free movies. or so i thought. they would be free if i would just return them on time. i reallly want to go back to the library. i like to check out books as well. i haven't been to the library since last summer. i grew a fine. quickly. $150.00 fine. i apparently lost some movies and didn't care to realize it. well, one day i accidently found the movies. i returned them hoping to wipe the slate clean. only half of the slate got clean. apparently one still has to pay the late fees and "lost processing" fees. my fees total $71.45. all for the "free" movies and books checked-out at the library.

i am going to pay the fine. i incurred the fines so i need to pay them. however, you have to actually go to the library to pay the fines. and i am afraid of the librarians. of all librarians (my uncle is a librarian and i am definitely afraid of him in his capacity as a librarian and when i was little as an uncle--psychotherapy please). i am afraid of their hair, of their clothes, of their smells--really, i am. i am especially afraid of their comments. plus, they are so strict. nazi-librarians. like the soup nazi from sienfeld, librarians are like book nazis.

a story of a library-nazi (a true event in my life):

one of the rules is that your library card is yours only. no one else is allowed to use it. not even anyone in your own family can use it. nor can you use anyone else's card. well, one day i had left mine at home. we were as a family heading out of town on a road trip. well, shawn had reserved some books on cd. my card was at home and he didn't want to go in or something like that. anyway, i had shawn's card and went to pick up his items on hold under his name. well, the cute little librarian asked me if i had my own card after i handed her his. i replied that the card she was holding WAS my card. "oh," she said, "your name is shawn?" i said "yep!" "oh, it is a beautiful name. not too many girls with the name of shawn." i simply replied "that's right. but it is more common than you think." i have never yet returned to the west jordan library. i don't want her to recognize me, especially if i forgot and used my own card with my own name on it. and i am really not that great of a liar so i just don't know that i could pull that off again.

i really want to return to the library. i loved being a library patron. i just need to think and talk positive. and not let fear of librarians ruin my summer. i need books and movies for the kids and for me to make it through the summer and i don't want to spend a bundle. i know my track record with my fines but i could at least try to make it all free. in the end i know i probably end up paying a whole lot more for a whole lot of nothing. at least i did last year. perhaps this year will be different. maybe, just maybe, i have learned my lesson.

the new day is coming...hold on...

today is sunday
sunday is almost over
i need to go to bed
i didn't even want to
get out of bed
today
it's almost over
gone forever
never to be again
and
i am not sad about it
at all.
good night & sweet dreams...

some reasons i really shouldn't drive too often

• big old honkin' suvs and trucks that think they can and should park anywhere ...park in the back of the lot idiots.
• cars that think they have to go fast and they ride your butt and finally pass you. then, you end up in the lane next to them stuck at a red light. got real far didn't you, idiot.
• road cyclists who think they are a car--stay to the side idiots.
• big diesel trucks who go through the drive-thru at fast food restuarants...can't you hear yourselves you idiots...oh, that's right, you can't hear because of your stinkin' loud idiot trucks!
• important cars (bmw's, mercedes, volvos, saabs, jaguars, big ol' shiny new trucks, etc) who think they can make up their own spot because they are too important to park too far away...idiots.
• important cars who think they need to take up two spots (heaven forbid an idiot truck/suv) should park too close to them...idiots.

now i know some of you may already know that my husband has a somewhat big truck (he did it all on his own). i told him that when he parks he WILL park in the back of the lot and take up two spaces only if the back of the lot is empty. by the way, his truck is not a diesel. loud idiots.

potty time

you know your child is old enough to be potty trained when:

• he know when he has to go and you know when he has to go because he gets into his "pooping stance"
• he has a preferred brand of diapers
• when you buy him different brand of diapers, he learns all about them and then proceeds to show and tell his dad all of the "cool" features of the new diapers (extra stretchy at some areas, different tabs, etc)
• he can change himself by removing his old diaper (only when he is just wet and overflowing) and getting out a new diaper. then, he unfolds the diaper and stretches it out. he then pulls the tabs over to the front and does them up loosely. he then steps into the diaper (like underwear) and pulls them up. he adjusts the tabs to make sure the diaper is on good and tight. puts his pants back on and throws out the old diaper (what a good boy)
• he goes potty on the potty before the tubby and sometimes during routine diaper changes

okay, so i know it is time. i just don't care to push the issue. so everyone, leave me and mikey alone. we are happy with things just the way they are. diapers are a good thing.

we are the world, we are the children

you know, sometimes i wonder. i wonder why i try to make it through one day just to have to make it through another and another to get to the weekend. why the weekend? i suppose it may be because shawn is home. but really, what do i do. i heard a man on the radio say that he wishes that the day had 50 hours in it. he would be able to fill them all up. wow. i can barely fill up the 14-16 waking hours of my day. yes, i do have children. and i do play with them. but they don't always care to have me around. they play very well on their own. i don't cook. i don't clean. (i am trying to be better...i made my bed today). i don't exercise on purpose (kids can keep me going sometimes). i am not a busy person and really i don't care to be. so, what do i do? i find mindless projects to fulfill my time. but these mind-time-occupying projects don't really do anything to make the world a better place. it doesn't help feed the hungry. or clothe the naked. or house the poor. i don't even make any money to help support my family. these projects simply use up my time. does it make me a better person? maybe it helps me improve my talent. but that talent doesn't really help any one out. and really i am not making any moral choices here. i am simply occupying my mind to get me through another day. i made a very beautiful quilt 3 years ago when i was trying to avoid the demons in my mind. i love the quilt. it keeps me warm. it is soft. i use it...almost everyday. but really, all it did was keep me occupied so that for a few days i didn't think about the inevitable. this quilt didn't improve anyone's life or anything. it was just a project. a wast of time? i don't know. maybe to some people. and now i am starting another project. i thought i would try to make a watercolor quilt. the ones i have seen are simply beautiful. i have been buying small cuts of all kinds of fabric. washing it. pressing it. cutting it into 2" squares. i am excited. but is it just a waste of time? shawn says if it makes me happy then it isn't. maybe i can improve the world some other time. right now, i just need to get through one day at a time.

for mother's day

i wasn't going to write about mother's day for reasons i care not to discuss. so, here are the reasons i love being a mom:

• i can sleep late (well, i could when anna wasn't in school)
• i can make mac & cheese and the kids love my cooking
• i can buy toys for myself disguising them as toys for the kids
• i always feel wanted (whether i want to be wanted or not)
• i get to tell them what to do (not that they will always do it)
• they think i am pretty and tell me so
• they love my singing and sing with me
• the kids love to hug and snuggle and so do i
• the kids are soooo forgiving
• i get to see things from a different perspective
• they make me smile and laugh
• they are mine. i am their only mother. they belong to me and they love me.

now, there are many other reasons i love being a mom but right now they seem to have escaped me (see previous post). i am really trying to focus on the positive. our cute relief society president said a few weeks ago that we as women and especially as moms seem to always compare ourselves with other women. she made this great point of when we compare ourselves with others we compare our worst self with their best self. and when we do that we always come out on the losing end. i am going to be kinder to myself. i need it. and my family needs it.

forget-me-knots

i have been forgetting everything lately. important things. likely telling the mom of the little girl i babysit that she would be at someone else's house today. and i forgot that i had made appointments (two of them) and i didn't go leaving the appointees hanging. i forget other things too. names. names of people, places, movies, songs. things i should know. last night i could not remember the name of a movie. i made shawn get out of bed and look it up. the fugitive. really. i could remember that it was named after someone who was running from the law. but not the fugitive. it doesn't seem like something that important but it makes me feel so dumb. i know these things and i just can't remember.

anna and me

anna is definitely her mother's daughter. here are just some of our similarities:

• we sing in the car and we sing loud
• we dance around the house
• when shawn finally gets settled down to watch a show, we both seem to always ask for a drink or a treat and typically we whine (he is good too, he usually gets us what we "need")
• we are both pretty social creatures
• we always want to be involved in some kind of a project
• she looks just like me when i was her age
• she is terrified to get in trouble (not at home, but anywhere else--school)
• we are sensitive
• we don't like to pick up
• we are touchy, huggy people
• we are particular about food
• we yell at the tv thinking the people will hear us and do what we are telling them to do (run!...move!...he's coming!)--it is quite hilarious to watch anna watch a new show
• we sometimes organize but mostly we are just unorganized--scattered

i love you anna. i am so glad you are mine. happy birthday (i know, this is late...)

my girl

my boy

only because it's spring!

here are the darlings on easter morn. i wish it was closer because then you could see my fine handy work. i made anna's dress this year. i am quite impressed with myself. she looked so darling. and mikey, well, he is always just cute. i bought his clothes at target. not nearly as cute. but then i don't know that he would appreciate a homemade knitted vest (i don't know how to knit anyway). aren't they lovely?




so really i am not much of a picture taker but i am now learning. last year i thought i dug out all my tulip bulbs because i heard that is what you are suppose to do. well, i never replanted them. but what to my wondering eyes did appear this spring? i was really so happy. a few bulbs popped up and surprised me. spring would have been terribly dreadful with out them.

would someone maybe leave a comment to see if i fixed the problem? anyone? anyone? shawn?