tankfully thankful...

Guess what?! I bet you don't know. If you knew, you won't be guessing!

First, I'm gonna change my blogskin... Had it all designed and feedback's pretty positive. J'adore le design! :) Nonetheless, I'm still...still trying to figure out the HTML for it and the past few days have been busy, which I don't know why either! :)

Second, please pray for me!! Gonna go embassy tmr to do the visa application. YES, I should be sleeping! and YES, it's freaking late to even apply like now? when I'm leaving in erm, 3 weeks' time. Can't put into words how I'm feeling- a good mix of excitement, apprehension, expectation.

Third, the CHRISTmas production by RADI-8 was AWESOME!!! I really could feel that God was smiling from above :) Man, I'm sure He was pleased with Radi-8's birthday present to Him! :P Right, Jesus?!?! :p

During worship today, somehow there seemed to be this revelation which touched my heart deeply: When Adam and Eve sinner, the glory and beauty were stolen. And the world was thrown into death by sin. Yet, God knew better and heaven was expecting the glory of a Messiah. Could you imagine, a hope that was tested and tried for thousands of years and when it was materialised by the birth of an infant baby, how the angels sang?!?!?!?! They had all been looking forward to God's redemptive plan for mankind!!!! They rejoice in the wisdom, love and power of God! WOW! :)

That was the first coming of Jesus...

Then I felt there was more than that... it seemed like, HEY, we're like in the same expectancy, waiting for the return of that glory. Today, the world seems so messy, hopeless and meaningless. Yet, in every believer we have been birthed a hope for a future that is glorious with our dear Jesus.. ;) That hope, is the same hope as it was before Jesus was born!

I'm really glad...that during worship, I learn so much about God :) feeling so close to Him...though there are some issues I'm still struggling, and often fall to condemnation, feeling that I really don't love God enough, I really never regret deciding to know and follow Jesus.

I will never forget this gift that God has given me - dear dear JESUS, as my birthday gift last year. (anyway surprisingly, even before I prayed the sinners' prayer I started to blog about God already ahha! )

Before I ramble on and suffer from a lack of sleep and rest, I bid my goodbyes!

Expect God for the impossible!!

caught Jane Xie> day-dreaming at 12/26/2006 12:46:00 AM

life's a dream with its sunrises and sunsets

finally!

finally i'm free to do all the things I've longed to do!!
or rather, finally i'm free to just stop doing. =)

then again, a thousand and one things i wanna pick up.
loads of stuff to check out about usa...
i'm excited!!

about life (:
and i think that's the way it should be.

*jumps*

caught Jane Xie> day-dreaming at 11/25/2006 10:14:00 PM

life's a dream with its sunrises and sunsets

whole load of information

*faints*
how can one not be intimidated with the load of information we have to gulp down before the exams?! but guess what. halfway through my revision, I just laughed and it felt like there was some sort of peace that washed over me.

Can't help but to think of ecclesiastes. at the end of it all, perhaps studying is also chasing after the wind! I mean, eventually, God has promised to take care of me and all. So why study?

STOP.

Before you think I support the notion of sit-back-relax-and-see-God-work, no I don't! I still believe God honours hardwork and that we all are to be good and faithful stewards to the gifts He blesses us with. For one, the gift of education.

So smack your ass if you waste your parents' money on your education!

Nonetheless, I'm quite excited. I believe God reminded me about the many miracles He provided. For one, my piano exam. For two, my 103 105 papers last semester. For three, the various little ones. I have no idea how I could have done it.

But glory to You Lord!

And You alone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

heartfelt thanks to U my bestie for giving me this joy :)

*thankful**

caught Jane Xie> day-dreaming at 11/14/2006 07:52:00 PM

life's a dream with its sunrises and sunsets

another miracle from God

merit (marks: 127) for piano exam!!!! =)
so happy
cos i know God did it for me once again!!!! (:
my aural and sight reading hardly make it one!!
but God made it!!

and going hongkong for cousin's wedding on wed night =)
gosh, but there's so much work.
sOb.
all the busy days trying to settle INSTEP application. goodness.

caught Jane Xie> day-dreaming at 10/14/2006 07:51:00 PM

life's a dream with its sunrises and sunsets

gosh

i just watched on Youtube the video footage of london bombings
felt so sad. =(
u know there were people screaming
and in the next second, they were almost all silent

gosh

caught Jane Xie> day-dreaming at 10/13/2006 01:28:00 PM

life's a dream with its sunrises and sunsets

it's You, You who have won my heart...

sometimes the world seems so alluring - status, admiration and all
but having had myself stepped into the trap of worldly things (thank God His Spirit drew me back and disciplined me) i have only this to say:
to stay within the boundaries of God is the most secure place you can be.

the world can tell you to try both sides of the world - the good and the bad, then you decide for yourself. but that's a trap.
how can you be sure that you are able, by then, to humble yourself and walk in God's ways again? Pride is so delusive... and it hardens one's heart.

still wanna really thank God for drawing me back... His presence is really so sweet... and so peaceful. it's really where you just know and know that everything's so secure in Him... it's really different when you're in His arms....as compared to when you're out venturing in the world.. grown to realise how important it is to not lose focus on Jesus!!!!

Sis Kris told me Pastor Paul prayed over me silently then i was wondering why he wouldnt verbalise. but as i thought about it, i guess in the end, God knows, so it doesnt really matter. Sis Kris says she's excited for me..now i'm getting excited too! how God is going to use me for His kingdom!!!!

Just really learning to discipline myself to walk always in His ways and not sidetrack lah!!!! REally thank God for like renewing my mind also. As much as i wanna be a broadcast journalist, i know God has placed a call on my life, and i really wanna preserve that in my heart and not let that grow cold... =)

evangelism's been confirmed... and ive actually been praying that God will open my eyes to see heavenly things and ears opened to hear angels singing and all the beautiful sounds of heaven... and that was what was prayed over me yday... tat God will open my ears to the sounds of heaven and be able to translate them to my generation. ALL glory to GOD!! and GOD alone!!

i mean like wow...and ive really experienced the truth in what the psalmist say, that to dwell in the house of the LORD is better than a thousand days elsewhere.IT'S REALLY REAL lor.
-grins-

gonna attend Sis. Seaward's seminar tomorrow =) I so miss her. i miss her no-nonsense!!! :) so im gonna spend my friday at a seminar and im gonna love it loads (: jumps! :)

just quite happy lah. where once, the world looked so big and my ambition is to pursue it but now im so happy, im found in Jesus....and everything else, He holds in His hands... :) contentment in godliness is great gain :)

Bless everyone in the name of Jesus =)

goodnight! (:

LOVE,JANE..

caught Jane Xie> day-dreaming at 9/28/2006 09:12:00 PM

life's a dream with its sunrises and sunsets

two daughters made happy in a day

two daughters made happy in one day.
may it come to pass ... keep my faith...
work it with Your mighty power...

i wish the day will come that i knew i heard it right.
show it to me, that it all along was Your battle.

that all along, it was and will be Your miracle...
let Your favor and face shine on me, dear God.

caught Jane Xie> day-dreaming at 9/04/2006 07:34:00 PM

life's a dream with its sunrises and sunsets

touched...

yday was reading corrinnemay's blog. @ corrinnemay.blogspot.com
very touched by it......
and realised how i've really failed to be a so-called marketplace christian....

but u know..
i know i need God's help to be one...
and yup i dunoo what to say next.

was thinking about why Jesus accepted mary's extravagant pouring of the perfume on His feet...
and it dawned upon me..

because that was the best she could offer.

use my hands. please.

caught Jane Xie> day-dreaming at 8/07/2006 12:33:00 AM

life's a dream with its sunrises and sunsets

thank God for friends, really.

im filled with unspeakable joy, so much i am shivering.
but okay, the shivers is probably triggered by something else.
somehow, this year is filled with so many "first times" and im so nervous.
i know i have to cast all cares to the Lord, and i think i do. but how come im still shivering?
somehow it's not the same feeling of fear...but i can't explain either.
i have never played keyboard for worship before and im scheduled to play for crusade...it's so...
nerve-wrecking.

i just wana tell all my buds i love yall. i really do. im finally meeting my aunty gang tmr. fang, mich, yy and myself. im still shivering as i type, and im amused...gosh...Lord stop this trembling...........PLEASE!

i dunoo how to say but i am really filled with gratitude to God for all my friends... friends who have been through thick and thin with me, and just to name a few, OLD PALS like michelle, new pals like weiyi, enting, marilvyn (im VERY SURE i got it right this time!!)... and so many more. mentioned them cos i just chatted with them...

michelle...im so glad ure growing in God...and we're gonna make a difference wherever we are for God's glory k...we've got to move beyond our past and look to JESUS and trust in His power that's working within us!! and i can really see God moulding u and me to be more like Him. okay, i can't see myself, but more like i see you and you see me. and im so glad... even knowing that u actually went to study the various audience of the epistles cheered my heart that day... im so happy...above all, i'm really so glad to know and realise that God is indeed raising up HIS people, HIS treasured possession to shake the world... im just so...speechless about everything..

weiyi..im encouraged lor.....u're like the initiator of so many things!!!! =) im excited about our praise sessions k!!! and silly you, so naughty dun wanna tell me WHO exactly. bleah. =) but i shall not dampen my own surprise. so PLEASE, SURPRISE ME OKAY! if not i will ... crush raw eggs on u :p im glad God granted us a bridge called friendship =)

marilvyn. =) i know God has revived your heart towards HIS own! and in turn, HE has used you to revive my little heart too. :) keep the passion for GOD flowing in and through you. dont give up on the vision HE has placed in your heart because HE can make it come to pass because HE is a GOD of miracles!! even when school covers us with work, let's remind one another that only the work done for the honour and glory of GOD will pass through the tests of fire, lasting for eternity. may GOD continue to place a burden for lost souls in u. =)

enting. MY DEAREST ROOMIE. sorry when we were in thailand im always thinking about sleeping (other than praying HAHAHA) so we dont really have time to chat and stuff. but ure really a person of sweet personality, very truthful...i wanna know u more as my good friend! ;)

so many so many more. im so excited...

I LOVE YOU JESUS =)
grant me the strength and obedient heart to follow you purely. and YOU alone. =)

caught Jane Xie> day-dreaming at 7/31/2006 12:17:00 AM

life's a dream with its sunrises and sunsets

on coffffeeeeeeeee.

nonsense. feeling so i-miss-everyone mood now.
cant wait to go back to school for friends. new phase, new challenges, new wows.

just so blessed by crusade FOC. new friendships!

and finally finished the take home exam. time for good rest and preparation for school to start. =)

hope can get the modules i wan okay! may God grant me His favour hahaha =D

okAy. so many things to thank God for. =))

talking to shuI nOw. so happy. miss her so much heeee. friendship since p5 okaY! until now we're still stuck together HEEHEE.

you know shui, if u ever read this. i suddenly just so wanna tell u...go for ur dreams k...... =) i still believe u can do it ...

waitin for the coffee to wear ouT...

thank God for all the friendships...

heeee.

caught Jane Xie> day-dreaming at 7/29/2006 01:47:00 AM

life's a dream with its sunrises and sunsets

my thoughts on world cup finals

let's get it straight,
i started off cheering for the italians but in the end, i decided to change to the french camp.
because i just can't agree with the way the italians played.
too much rolling on the floor and the feigning of injuries.

and the turning point came when i saw how zidane so graciously asked for medic help when his shoulder was injured, not kicking up a big fuss. wah, i suddenly saw how gentlemanly he was! no longer an old man!

but hai, somehow along the way he lost his cool and he headbutted an italian on court and was shamefully sent off with a red card. i think bro. raju's right, we all have a sleeping lion in us... and i just felt so sad for zidane....=( i know many will say that HEY HE HEADBUTTED HOW GENTLEMANLY IS THAT...

then all the criticism can so easily come in... then how about all the victories he has led france to?! i just felt so strongly it's such a pity he ended his career like tt.. no wonder pastor always reminds us, start well & finish well...

at some point of time, i felt that fame comes and goes....nothing in the world lasts..
you may have contributed a heap to the country, but if you ended on a bad note, people forget your gOod.. okay, at least they tend to.....

i just hope the french media will give thanks for a talent like zidane and encourage him...

may zidane find the comfort he needs in the right source, Jesus, the God of all comfort, who won't look on him for his mistakes but turn it into a victory for him =) , looking on him with love =)

i just felt so sad for zidane...can't imagine all the thoughts that's in his head... and i oso dun wana imagine...to unimaginable...just hope he can find the right comfort..... (= i actually really hope to see him one day testifying for God HAHAA! okay, don't ridicule ah... if u believe u just pray okay?! don't laugh at my weird imaginations!!

at the end of the day, only the things done for Christ in love will last...

am so challenged by ps. susan's qn last last time,

what in your life will last for eternity as it passes through the test of fire?


anwyay nadal is good.

caught Jane Xie> day-dreaming at 7/10/2006 01:30:00 PM

life's a dream with its sunrises and sunsets

He came through for me

GOD'S faithfulness. =) i just felt i needed to blog this, to whomever needs it, whenever that may be. GOD'S WITH YOU!

I thank God for His amazing blessings and ways He's come through for me
decided to study methods of bible study @ ATCEM. needed Ps. Seaward's signature, HE provided yeay!

needed $125. He provided, yeay, through my aunty who's not saved yet. not much of a struggle though things could have been so. but praise God.

and Pastor Susan is going to bless me for my textbook! YEAY!

After each season of trials, comes the shining of a beautiful rainbow.
I really hope He'll continue to open my eyes to see of His goodness.
A pure heart that seeks His face and not His hands.
i've been truly and greatly blessed, make me a blessing Lord =)
and even when im not seemingly blessed, give me lips to praise you and say, blessed be Your name. never can i accomplish that in my carnal nature, but i know when i do, it's not me, but it's You working in me. In my weakness, open my eyes to see Your grace.

anyway, tell you all a funny dream =)
i dreamt of a little boy called Matthew...................................6:33
i think in the dream i was playing with this little boy
then i was asking the older brother what's the little boy's name
so the older boy said, "why dont you ask him yourself" (yeah, that's how dumb i can be sometimes! :P)
so i asked. and the little boy drew...... "matthew" on the table
den i said oh nice name
and he continue to write........"6:33"

BEAUTIFUL NAME!

"But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. " - Matthew 6:33.

Tremendous goodness. i really hope that even the day if i lose all my possessions, i will still be filled with His joy and continue to bless His name.
so unthinkable. but in a real sense, it could happen to me. and when that happens, will i get angry with God?

i hope i will not. if i do, i'd know that my hope and trust was not in Him. never easy. that's why JESUS sent His Holy Spirit =)

i'm blessed. so are you. and if u have yet to know who JESUS is and what He has in store for you, you ought to!!!!!!!!!!!!! He's the BEST friend ive ever met. Highly recommended. He's someone who has fallen in love with you so deep He can't fall out of love with you. If you're wondering who ever loves you, JESUS does =)

may we love Him with our hearts, not our minds. =)

caught Jane Xie> day-dreaming at 6/23/2006 11:55:00 PM

life's a dream with its sunrises and sunsets

God of all comfort =)

woke up feeling tiREd, weaRy, went for a jog and settled for 8 rounds. but still had good fun =)
came bacK just dwelling in His presence..
all things were going on fine

until

she called.
grumbled about me going to church.
the other time i flipped totally, yelling back.
and thank God He convicted me that isn't the way how His children should behave.

this time i knew i had to resolve by my will to flee from any possible arguments
and the cost was to put up with provocative speech from my aunt.
it hurts, but i must remember that God's grace is always sufficient.
and nothing happens without Him who allows.

furthermore, it's not a battle against flesh. it's against principalities and powers.
sometimes i very much want to give up praying for people whose hearts are so hard against God
but God just brought me to my senses

the truth is He still loves them.

and that broke me. how great and deep is His amazing love.
it hurts when i hear my aunt hurl insensitive words about what i believe
but God brings to remembrance,
even HE who is the object of the insults is not retaliating
why should i?

i serve a God who's so gracious and so loving i can't believe it
and i know that truth sets me free somewhere in my spirit

thanks to God who comforted me with various readings from Christianitytoday.com .
read about how 3 ladies were persecuted in Indonesia yet continue to stand strong in the faith, continuing in God's work. "It's hard in here, but i know im pleasing God by doing His work (ministering even in prison and because of that, a few Muslim ladies have converted. Praise God!)"

then read another article about how much God is still in control.
and i'd better know He is.

i live because You live.

don't give up praying. prayers work wonders... =) and you can be sure God hears them, when you pray out of a cleansed and sincere heart.

may God grant all of us His grace, peace and faith to see us through the coming days, even if the external circumstances seem overwhelming and get worse, may He continue to work in all of us mightily , that we can stand firm in the faith, till the day we see HIS glorious, beautiful face.

that's hope. =)

i love You, Jesus =) *hugs*

caught Jane Xie> day-dreaming at 6/17/2006 12:10:00 PM

life's a dream with its sunrises and sunsets

thankful. thankful. thankful.

i am so thankful to GOD for everything. each step that He's guided since the birth of the idea of going to Gen12 trip up till NOW, the even of departure.

have no idea what to expect
but i know GOD is so faithful, and so good...

even when i was fearful last night because of a certain happening i nv expected would happen. i heard something i never heard before and it freaked me out. but i know GOD allowed it to come to pass for a reason. that i will trust in Him and Him alone. that i will seek my strength from JESUS, and JESUS alone.

and i thank GOD so much that there are always sisters and brothers around who will support u...thank u sister kris and amanda and family for interceding. thank u for ur obedience to the burden GOD has placed in ur heart.... =)

thankew pastor ruth for coming to commissioning. very very sweet of u.even though prayer meeting starts at 6AM tmr morning and after a tiring day.

im so thankful.

may You Lord prepare me to be a blessing to many others. love You.

caught Jane Xie> day-dreaming at 5/22/2006 11:08:00 PM

life's a dream with its sunrises and sunsets

im in awe of You, Lord

finally it's been a long time since i blogged...
but tonight is such a beautiful time learning more about the Bible
and it just sparks off a yearning more of GOD.....
of His Word... of wow, so many hidden treasures in His Word...
and i so so want to attend the 2 week bible school...to have a foretaste of what it is....

the beauty of Old Testament, the richness of grace in New Testament
the sparkling snippets of how future is like in Revelations
i used to see it as a scary thing
but somehow i thank God because i know He has redeemed me
and i so hope that my friends will be brought to repentence through God's goodness...

i can only conclude, and this itself is an understatement for i can never really conclude anything,
nonetheless, how much treasures there are in the Bible...
so much you won't believe it
if only we'd take the initiative and allow GOD to draw ourselves nearer to Him
to read the Bible and interact with it
each single word, even each Capital Letter...each punctuation...
i mean wow...

im so in awe.............................
and this is beyond any strong reasoning for the reliability of the New Testament or the Bible itself
because this awe brings me to realise.. it's just so impossible for mere mortal men to conjure up an amazing piece of literature...
but it doesnt just stop there being a literature..
it is a book that will transform your life.

a collection of history, recordings of the past, lessons to live the present, guidance to each next step, and a glimpse into the future... it's everything...
how much more can we ask of GOD when He's already given us His word...
His love... His everything...

i thank so much that God sent brother raju to share with us so much about the bible
so many things were made real
so many new discoveries...i just felt that GOD has blessed me richly with so much amazing things about Him...........

i just feel so blessed...and as i look back
i didn't pay anything for it.

it's undeserving...but im so in awe
so in awe i could dream of JESUS i never want to wake up.

and been thinking so much about this qn Ps. Susan challenged us with
"Can we change our destiny?"
im still thinking. and im so hoping GOD will reveal Himself more to me...
the last time i thought deeply was about if we can lose our salvation......
now, can we change our destiny?

and i just realise so much so much.......
what's my destiny??!!
if i know that the end of the road will be that i will see my Savior, my beautiful Savior,
what is the world's strife about?
will i be able to look into His eyes knowing ive done my best for Him
FOR HIM. not for myself.

it's such a beautiful truth, yet so hard to live it out.

im so filled in awe.....i can't describe it...
and i really think that's how God's love is,
and most possibly so much more immense than what im feeling now

im fearfully and wonderfully made
but i wonder why fearfully? i can understand wonderfully
but why fearfully?
why should the GOD of heavens and earth fear as He makes us?
haven't He all the control????
and i sit by, wondering in my small little ways,
if it's because as we're made, GOD had really bore Himself vulnerable to the chance that we will not choose Him...

He'll be making someone so He can love, yet risking not to be loved back.
so in Him there's a fear... not a fear born out of His inability for He is always able and can never fail, but a fear that's born out of love... love for mankind...

and i felt so weak.....i felt so loved.....and i guess that's how GOD wants us to feel
HE died so we could draw close to Him... yet why so many times we fall into the pit of trying to act like we can handle it, even when we're in front of Him... im so thankful He's let me see the weakness in myself...the front i try to put before Him..

yet so much so much i can find in His grace...He's someone who had all the power in the world...
but He chose to give us a choice...and to think of things,
as of now, i actually do think we can change our destiny.. yes im so very much still in thoughts..

im so blessed im lost for words... yet at the same time so afraid...so challenged that i really have to walk closely with GOD...because i've learnt at a newer, fresher level, the importance of walking in truth in our lives, for deception is scary.

deception is powerful because you never know when u're deceived when u're already deceived. yet it comes so subtly.......

but i must know that GOD's grace is always sufficient for me.

i love You ... dun ever wanna lose You

caught Jane Xie> day-dreaming at 5/05/2006 11:55:00 PM

life's a dream with its sunrises and sunsets