Tuesday, April 20, 2010
1 year
Wow i havent been here in like a year... i dont even know what to post... ive got a job since then working 5 days a week full time still no gf my best friends are doing alright though the one in hawaii is super stressed... guess thats what comes with becoming a doctor... the other is doin alright better than he used to be doing... yeah ill probably update whenever i have more time or a weekend free but as you can see this blog really doesnt go anywhere fast
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Best Friends
Man i am getting worse and worse at posting here (sorry nat.... if you still read this that is)
So the first time everyone left for college it hit me pretty hard... because it seemed i was the only one that stayed home... well some friends came back and some friends only seemed to come back... ive lost touch with who used to be my best friend, he has lost himself to drinking, smoking pot and playing the imfamous WOW.
Now i dont mind that he's doing this, but i dont hear from him that often, the first summer back (06) i saw him 4 times in a 3 month span, and the second summer back (07) i saw him once... and then i didnt hear from him untill my 21rst birthday last summer (July of 08) in those 3 years he was kicked outta school on acedemic probation for drinking to much not going to class and playing WOW to all hours, lost a loan and had his parents support him while he went to community college (down there of all places... i mean who goes to community college an hour away when theres one right in your town?)... instead of going home to free room and board and cheaper community college he resigns the lease and i never hear from him...
Now i know i got into a rant... and i could rant about it ALL day but thats not why im writing, im writing because my other best friend is leaving for school in hawaii and i dont think shes coming back either (hell if i could go to hawaii i probably wouldnt either) but shes different... the exact opposite actually, straight A's, in a sorority, and other numerous clubs, works a full time job and still trys her best to maintain a social life.
(by the way i could writ a novel on what i want to say to these 2... but ill summerize for the sake of this blog entry)
She says she want to go away to find herself... to finally let loose and be herself, she has a conflict to do that here for some reason, but i dont blame her. she needs to unwind and find herself shes been couped up way to long and pushed around long enough.
To one i say good luck, may the future bring you happiness and may you keep succeeding in everytihng you do, i hope your travels blossum you into the woman i have always seen in you since we first met, i will cherrish our time together... the good and the bad, we have worked hard to get where we are at... im not going to lie i am sad you are going, you'll no longer be just around the corner and i wont see you as often... but i am still only a message away.
And to the other i say... come home you are lost and need help... trust me... trust all of us from home who have seen you who expirenced your drunken retardedness... you try to speak philosophe and bring a great discussion to the table but you lack the common sense to see the error in your ways... your discussons are an endless circle of rambling in which you try to play the devils advocate but in reality you are just instigating fights to a subject you have no knowledge of in the first place, and therefore shouldnt be speaking of at all.
In the end i say goodbye to 2 friends both of which may never come back, they both were a huge impact on my life and i will never forget them... i guess i shouldn't really say goodbye... i hope our paths will one day cross again, so untill we meet again dear friends, i will turn the page, and end this chapter of our intertwining lives, and begin a new one... a fresh start with a new batch of stories that one day i will hopefully get to share with you...
Untill our next chapter.
So the first time everyone left for college it hit me pretty hard... because it seemed i was the only one that stayed home... well some friends came back and some friends only seemed to come back... ive lost touch with who used to be my best friend, he has lost himself to drinking, smoking pot and playing the imfamous WOW.
Now i dont mind that he's doing this, but i dont hear from him that often, the first summer back (06) i saw him 4 times in a 3 month span, and the second summer back (07) i saw him once... and then i didnt hear from him untill my 21rst birthday last summer (July of 08) in those 3 years he was kicked outta school on acedemic probation for drinking to much not going to class and playing WOW to all hours, lost a loan and had his parents support him while he went to community college (down there of all places... i mean who goes to community college an hour away when theres one right in your town?)... instead of going home to free room and board and cheaper community college he resigns the lease and i never hear from him...
Now i know i got into a rant... and i could rant about it ALL day but thats not why im writing, im writing because my other best friend is leaving for school in hawaii and i dont think shes coming back either (hell if i could go to hawaii i probably wouldnt either) but shes different... the exact opposite actually, straight A's, in a sorority, and other numerous clubs, works a full time job and still trys her best to maintain a social life.
(by the way i could writ a novel on what i want to say to these 2... but ill summerize for the sake of this blog entry)
She says she want to go away to find herself... to finally let loose and be herself, she has a conflict to do that here for some reason, but i dont blame her. she needs to unwind and find herself shes been couped up way to long and pushed around long enough.
To one i say good luck, may the future bring you happiness and may you keep succeeding in everytihng you do, i hope your travels blossum you into the woman i have always seen in you since we first met, i will cherrish our time together... the good and the bad, we have worked hard to get where we are at... im not going to lie i am sad you are going, you'll no longer be just around the corner and i wont see you as often... but i am still only a message away.
And to the other i say... come home you are lost and need help... trust me... trust all of us from home who have seen you who expirenced your drunken retardedness... you try to speak philosophe and bring a great discussion to the table but you lack the common sense to see the error in your ways... your discussons are an endless circle of rambling in which you try to play the devils advocate but in reality you are just instigating fights to a subject you have no knowledge of in the first place, and therefore shouldnt be speaking of at all.
In the end i say goodbye to 2 friends both of which may never come back, they both were a huge impact on my life and i will never forget them... i guess i shouldn't really say goodbye... i hope our paths will one day cross again, so untill we meet again dear friends, i will turn the page, and end this chapter of our intertwining lives, and begin a new one... a fresh start with a new batch of stories that one day i will hopefully get to share with you...
Untill our next chapter.
Monday, December 1, 2008
crazy times
thanksgiving break was crazy... tons went on, and i saw just about everyone i wanted to see. 2 fridays ago about half of the people i wanted to see came home friday saturday and sunday i didnt get more than 3 hours of sleep a night which really sucked in the long run.
Then monday i had class and tuesday i got a little break but when wednesday came it was hectic everyone was home and everyone wanted to party. needless to say i was out till 4 am again! but towards 3 am i started getting sick and my thanksgiving was less fun then i would have liked. to sum it up my sister started to argue pretty much 30 seconds after she got in the door and i being sick was not in any mood to put up with it. thank goodness i got that night off to sleep cause it was a killer on friday.
friday night pretty much everyone from the class of 04', 05', and anyone who was 21 from 06' was at The Last Chance Salloon (i will refer to it as the chance from now on) and it was packed! literally took 5 minutes to order a beer it was crazy, i saw and talked to alot of people i didnt think cared about what i was up to but apparently they do. anyways around 135 or 145ish they were telling people to leave but no one heard them say that so we all just stayed in at the chance... well like 5 minutes later i hear my friend ryan say that the police are outside, so i grab 4 or 5 people and head out and as i am heading out 3 police officers are going in. once i get outside literally a minute later there are people coming out coughing because of the tear gas that they decided to sprayto make everyone leave.
About this time is when things got very interesting our buddy kellan got arrested for smarting off to a cop and that caused my buddy steve beverly (who was biligerantly drunk) to try and start a fight with a cop well needless to say i held him back and pulled him down the street for about 20 minutes. luckily i did otherwise a cop with his night stick out would have beat steve senseless. after 20 loooong minutes of holding back and pulling 235 pounds down the street to his rides car he got in and left... there were people like dane lund who tried to get me to let go of steve and let him do what he wanted but i persisted on getting him to his car and not blugened with a night stick and thrown in a jail cell. by this time just about every cop in grayslake was in center street doing crowd control and i dipped out as quickly as possible and ran home in about 7 minutes flat i was outta breath and freezing but none the less home safe.
and then saturday was everyones last day and by this time im rediculously sick but i go out just because anyways but yeah now im sick as hell well time for a nap if i can fall asleep...
Then monday i had class and tuesday i got a little break but when wednesday came it was hectic everyone was home and everyone wanted to party. needless to say i was out till 4 am again! but towards 3 am i started getting sick and my thanksgiving was less fun then i would have liked. to sum it up my sister started to argue pretty much 30 seconds after she got in the door and i being sick was not in any mood to put up with it. thank goodness i got that night off to sleep cause it was a killer on friday.
friday night pretty much everyone from the class of 04', 05', and anyone who was 21 from 06' was at The Last Chance Salloon (i will refer to it as the chance from now on) and it was packed! literally took 5 minutes to order a beer it was crazy, i saw and talked to alot of people i didnt think cared about what i was up to but apparently they do. anyways around 135 or 145ish they were telling people to leave but no one heard them say that so we all just stayed in at the chance... well like 5 minutes later i hear my friend ryan say that the police are outside, so i grab 4 or 5 people and head out and as i am heading out 3 police officers are going in. once i get outside literally a minute later there are people coming out coughing because of the tear gas that they decided to sprayto make everyone leave.
About this time is when things got very interesting our buddy kellan got arrested for smarting off to a cop and that caused my buddy steve beverly (who was biligerantly drunk) to try and start a fight with a cop well needless to say i held him back and pulled him down the street for about 20 minutes. luckily i did otherwise a cop with his night stick out would have beat steve senseless. after 20 loooong minutes of holding back and pulling 235 pounds down the street to his rides car he got in and left... there were people like dane lund who tried to get me to let go of steve and let him do what he wanted but i persisted on getting him to his car and not blugened with a night stick and thrown in a jail cell. by this time just about every cop in grayslake was in center street doing crowd control and i dipped out as quickly as possible and ran home in about 7 minutes flat i was outta breath and freezing but none the less home safe.
and then saturday was everyones last day and by this time im rediculously sick but i go out just because anyways but yeah now im sick as hell well time for a nap if i can fall asleep...
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Time After Time
David Archuleta - Crush... good song makes you think... anyway the search for a woman continues... someone told me recently i should look for someone who compliments me which is kinda funny since there are so many sides to me how can i find someone to compliment them all, or even some of them?... dont get me wrong there are women out there right now could probably ask out but it always comes down to im to shy.
Why is that? you would think after so many years i would not be as shy as i am, maybe its the uncomfortableness of rejection, ive never like randomly going into things i guess, i always want to know all the variables... but even if i do there is still that part of me that needs to be dragged over the hill. Or maybe i am not the best at persuing maybe i need to be chased? it comes down to the search that one person... they say you'll just know... will i?... hmm might add more later cant keep my thoughts straight at the moment.
Why is that? you would think after so many years i would not be as shy as i am, maybe its the uncomfortableness of rejection, ive never like randomly going into things i guess, i always want to know all the variables... but even if i do there is still that part of me that needs to be dragged over the hill. Or maybe i am not the best at persuing maybe i need to be chased? it comes down to the search that one person... they say you'll just know... will i?... hmm might add more later cant keep my thoughts straight at the moment.
Friday, October 24, 2008
Life
So i know not many (if anyone) reads this hence why i post so rarely. But things have been better than they were.... co writer is still a douche though but i dont think he will ever grow out of that. anyways the art is a little better not my greatest stuff but ill manage... its hard to find girls who will model for you... most are insecure about their bodies, and thats ridiculous they dont even have to be nude they just need to stand there while i draw them... plus the ones i offer to pay ask for outrageous prices... 500 dollars for 2 hours that is appauling im an artist i dont have that much cash to lavishly throw around.
My love life is not going well... more like its been dead for a while now... it has been said time and ime again how women want a kind sensitve guy who will listen and yadda yadda... but yet they go for the bad boy the one that treats them like complete shit... i am a multi talented guy, i cook, im an artist, a musician, an athlete, i am a gentleman (something there are very few of these days), i love camping and the outdoors, and not to sound cocky but i am a really nice guy; sometimes overly nice which can be a bad thing sometimes cuz i usually end up getting walked all over... but hye what can you do right? having good nature and a kind heart will work out sooner or later right?
alright no real point in this post but i posted.
My love life is not going well... more like its been dead for a while now... it has been said time and ime again how women want a kind sensitve guy who will listen and yadda yadda... but yet they go for the bad boy the one that treats them like complete shit... i am a multi talented guy, i cook, im an artist, a musician, an athlete, i am a gentleman (something there are very few of these days), i love camping and the outdoors, and not to sound cocky but i am a really nice guy; sometimes overly nice which can be a bad thing sometimes cuz i usually end up getting walked all over... but hye what can you do right? having good nature and a kind heart will work out sooner or later right?
alright no real point in this post but i posted.
Saturday, July 26, 2008
Time
Time is a funny thing. when you have alot of it you never know what to do with yourself but when you never have enough you just feel overwhelmed and when you are over whelmed something seems to slip by that you missed untill you figure out what the hell just happened... i dont know this summer has me all out of wack one minute im writng my book the next minute the co writer is trying to change everything we progressed on... i dont think he gets it that we have finished this section of the book and need to go on developing the rest of the story... he has no progress in the writing which seems to reflect his life a bit... always wanting to go back and make it perfect or change something that does not need fixing. i constantly remind him of character development but he wont listen... its a bit agitating actually i can never get him to see his mistakes or how he need to write without getting drunk or write something that makes sense to everyone and not just himself... i could go on all day about him but i wont since he will soon see the error of his ways and how much his writing needs work. but back to the time i have so much of now... i have actually strayed from the book to work on art and short stories which the co-writer sees as almost blastphomus (long story short we fought and he got pissy deleting stuff left and right tried to extort me then called back drunk crying his apology into the phone before telling him we are not to work on the book for 4 months) but he never listens and is occuping his time with it though he should focus on something else so he doesnt get stuck in a rut... anyways my art is lacking its creative fuel, i cant seem to draw like i used... i have no one to help inspire me and my photos are lacking and so is my attempts at song writing/ composing... its all a jumbled headache... im out of supplies now summer is half gone and school will be here soon with a jumble of fun... maybe i just need to find a girlfriend.. im miss the sensations of caring for someone... i dunno but whatever the thinkg is ill try to figure it out and be on here more as the story of my life unfolds as time keeps ticking away.
Sunday, March 2, 2008
school and life
school is driving me up the wall... i dont think it has ever been this hard for me before.. everyone keeps telling me welcome to the "Real World" or "Thats college" but is it really?? college has been a breeze so far and i couldnt think of any other place ide wanna be untill now... i just need time to recoupe and there never seems like theres enough weekend to do it since it is always cut short my homework or something having to been done around the house. im usually not one to complain alot but with 2 tests and english poetry questions today (monday), 2 papers and a quiz wed, a map and poetry questions due friday im am pretty much burnt out and just want to sleep.. i have yet to work out for the last week and i feel drained my energy is low and my diet has been just som carrots and celery to tide me over in between studying and sleeping... i dont know who is reading this i dont even know how to really use this site, but i just needed to vent for a sec... maybe someone will read this and help me out....
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