checklist for spain

1. turns out tankinis are hard to find. so anytime i saw a potentially good one, i ordered it. now i could fill a whole suitcase with all the piled up tankinis at my house. hope we’re planning on a lot of swimming!

2. learned spanish. err…. started to learn spanish. err…. brushed up on “hola” and “los banos.”

3. google mapped where we’re staying. this is what it looks like:

see, maybe we won’t even use spanish because maybe we’ll never even see another person in this introvert’s paradise!

4. painted my toenails. this is a big deal. i never paint my toes. i even took the time to go test out colors last week. which included painting two and a half of my fingernails different colors. and then since this project took way longer than i ever spend on my nails, i got bored and never made the time to take the fingernail polish off, so i’ve been walking around with two and a half different painted nails for a week. but don’t worry – i finally took it off last night…

5. …using finger nail polish remover, which i also discovered works to remove cracker jack box tattoos!

6. decided on some movies to watch on the plane. one of the movies we chose was “into the wild,” which we ended up watching on saturday… and sunday… instead. it was a long movie and between the boy falling asleep during movies and me getting antsy during movies, it took us that long to finish it. which was really too bad because we rented it off itunes, which means you get it for only 24 hours. we reached our 24 hour mark when we had 20 minutes left – right when things were getting good (aka – we wanted to see how he dies. spoiler alert – he dies) so, we had to rent it again and wait for it to download again just so we could see the last 20 minutes. was it worth it? probably not. it was a depressing ending. but, at the very end they finally showed a picture of the real alex supertramp, which actually looked pretty much just like the actor. so good job on that, producers.

7. packed. and i’m so proud to declare that i met the boy’s challenge and fit all of my stuff into a carryon!! boo ya!

8. said goodbye to meghan and milo. and the apartment. and put all my valuables in a fireproof safe. just in case meghan burns it down while i’m gone. you just never know

adios!

my grand discovery

i recently had a grand epiphany. everybody would agree that an awesome benefit at any job is to have your own designated parking spot that nobody else can use but you, right? similarly, i would bet that everybody secretly wishes the same benefit could be applied to bathroom stalls. how cool would it be to have your own designated bathroom stall at work that nobody else used but you??

i figured out a way. right when you get into work (before anybody else uses the restrooms), go in and throw a clean piece of toilet paper into one of the toilets. it's that simple. afterall, it's common knowledge that going into a stall that hasn't been flushed is a huge public restroom no-no. so, if you create the illusion that the toilet hasn't been flushed after use, people won't use it and THAT STALL BECOMES YOUR VERY OWN!! then, everytime you use it, (flush first) drop a clean piece of toilet paper in there before leaving.

feel free to bring in a small plant, maybe a nice scented candle... you know, make it more personalized and homey. your experience at work will improve tenfold. money back guarantee.

i stole this from another blog. thanks b.

from the mouth of babes

i don’t know why i was reminiscing about this today, but do you remember some of the things you used to think as a kid? and how long did you think those things before somebody caught you on it?

for example, i used to think that high school was just a giant gym filled with cones and faux street signs where students would drive cars around all day with their teachers. just one huge drivers’ ed. it was a sad day when i figured out it was much more boring than that and pep rallies in the gym just never cut it. except that one time when my friend ditched a pep rally and went to mcdonalds instead and won the million dollar monopoly game because she got park place. it’s impossible to get park place. not when you ditch pep rallies though. let this be a lesson to you.

dustin (being the mad scientist he is) used to think that cars didn’t actually move. he figured that since the world moves, the cars must just move along with the world. i’m not quite sure how he figured cars passed in opposite directions...i was always smarter than dustin…

i thought up until college…yes college… that the phrase “take it with a grain of salt” was actually “take it with a great assault.” it’s that violent streak in me i guess

meghan was convinced that once she got married, she’d move into our parent’s room. like a passing of batons, circle of life sort of thing. when our parents asked where they would go, she said “you can live in my room.” talking about moving up

my friend (well, maybe not entirely a friend. more like somebody i heard on the radio) grew up thinking that clowns were their own race of people. like chinese, indian, american, clown. that would mean being afraid of clowns is morally wrong and considered prejudice. how sad would that be?

meghan’s friend (i’m hesitant to write this knowing said friend reads this…but how could I not? it’s my favorite story ever) used to think that the “f-word” was FAgina. fuh-gine-a. like the girly part. only with a fa. brilliant