Summing up 2009

I've been very slack in posting anything up. I've even missed the traditional Christmas post! Then again, this year seems to have been one of broken traditions, change & exploration. I recently wrote an email to a friend, which I think sums up my year pretty nicely:

"This year can only be described as a 'Year of Self-Discovery' for me. God has brought me into a wonderful church family where I've thoroughly enjoyed my bible study group & being heaps involved in running evangelistic events & serving in various ministries. We had a women's dumpling making evangelistic afternoon where we made about 500 dumplings - it was insane & so yummy! The church is a church plant that just started this year & already God has been gracious enough to see both our Mandarin & English congregations double over the year. We've seen people come to know God & be baptised as well - lots to praise God about! What I've discovered as I served in many ways is how wonderful it is to be using the gift of singleness at this point in my life. Because it's a family church, I've found that being one of the few single women in church means that I've got more time on my hands to serve than a lot of the other women have. The good working hours of my job has also enabled me to do this as well. God has placed in my heart a desire to see the women of my church grow in love for Christ & one another. Pastor Pete Ko & Bec will be mentoring me in starting a women's ministry at church next year.

I've also been part of a movement called RICE Regenerate this year, which has been a lot of fun & sooo very awesome. It's been amazing seeing the way that God is using the things we do to make Himself known & to spur Christians to live for Him in a very real & proactive way. I'll still be involved in this next year.

Big things happening in my life at the moment - parents have finally migrated to Sydney after about 20 years of living in Singapore. I'm still adjusting to having them around & sometimes feel a little suffocated having less freedom etc. My sister will be moving into the new house with them, while I'll continue to live out of home & find a new housemate. Hope I can be trusting that God will provide for me in the right time. I've also made the decision to go into SMBC to study the Grad Dip in Divinity part-time while I still continue to work full-time. Work has kindly agreed to let me take a day off a fortnight for me to catch up on readings & for my other ministry related stuff. It looks to be a busy year ahead!"

I've grown heaps this year in my dependence on God & really enjoyed being in relationship with Him, especially the last half of this year. I've grown more comfortable with the person God has made me to be & have learnt to trust Him more & be joyful. I can also say that I've fufilled my new year's resolution this year - to not let my past haunt me, but to let go & find joy in the things which matter. The events which happened the past few years caused me to lose my ground & threw me off balance. I've managed to find my footing again this year & I've never been more content with my identity in Christ.

It's rare that I look back on the year without regret & look forward to the year ahead. I'm honestly very excited about what God has in store for me in 2010. If 2009 is anything to go by, I know that trusting God is not taking a leap in the dark. Having my heart hidden in God will bring me more joy & fulfilment than all the world has to offer.

Happy new year, everyone!

Treasuring Jesus

God did so much more at RICE Regenerate Rally than what I was expecting. And that's saying a lot because I was expecting great things. From Malcolm's personal testimony & Al Stewart's talk, to the response rooms, the Holy Spirit certainly worked mightily that night.

My mind is still reeling & God is still tugging at my heartstrings the day after. I woke up today still overwhelmed & craving some quality time with God. Though I had a fun but late night (got home at 2.30am), I still managed to get to church & had lunch with my church family.

Driving home, I had a sudden urge to take a detour into Bicentennial Park & found a perfect spot where I could lay my rug under a tree.

And all I wanted to do was to lie in silence & solitude, listening & being sensitive to what God was saying to me. I listened to music which touched my soul & read Romans 8, which reminded me about the life I have in Jesus.

Commitment, not just invoIvement - I love eggs for breakfast & don't really enjoy bacon. But when it comes to the Christian walk, give me bacon any day. I'd rather be a pig than a chicken.

Taking a Chance

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Fast Forward

Where do I start with this post, except to say that I've been the busiest that I've been all year. Work has been crazy & a little stressful. I've also been involved a lot with church, bible study & RICE.

I helped organise & run a women's evangelistic event at our church as part of the 'Jesus All About Life' campaign. Being involved in this & with RICE Regenerate this year has made me realise that I have the gift of administration/organisation. Perhaps not to the same degree as others, but I'm hoping to improve on it. More than that, I'm realising the truth in what Paul the apostle says in 1 Cor 7:32-35 - being single has allowed me to give a lot of my time & energy to serving God's people.

It has also unlocked a few new questions for me...

There was a lot of cleaning up to do after the women's event. Though a few people stayed around to help out, I found myself being the last one to leave, just because the other women had either a husband or a family to go home to. The same thing happened after our church's Mid-Autumn Festival dinner - I was one of the few women around afterwards even though I probably lived the farthest away.

Don't get me wrong - I do all of it willingly & joyfully knowing that I can. However, I was so exhausted after the 2 events that it took me a while to recover (hence the previous post). The thing I miss about being with someone is that when you've had a long day or when you've accomplished something you're proud of, you have someone waiting for you to share the burden or the joy & just to give you a little bit of encouragement. I need to keep reminding myself that my reward is in heaven & that the praises of men are not important.

I've also been wondering: do men get turned off by women who are more independent or more active than they are? I personally don't think I could date someone who is more passive or less passionate than I am about ministry & life.

Overall, I'm very happy & content with life at the moment, particularly because I've been able to focus a lot on my Christian walk. This state is usually hard to to keep up for too long, either because I burn out or it's just the natural highs & lows that come with singleness. But there's certainly a lot I can be giving thanks for.