Lost In Beauty-

31 August 2010

~the beauty exposed~

16 August 2010

YOG was great

My heart crack.

That's all

~the beauty exposed~

14 August 2010

Seeing the morning sun which looks just like dear's smile, feeling on my right hand where she rest and holds.

Victory of one battle that can't be shared with one i love. The pain i once though i never had again surfaces like submarine from the dept of the ocean. Somehow the weather keep reflects my feeling, wonder if its my heart up there in the sky ? *Drip, drip, drip" Was the sounds i heard, mouth sing from the memory i hold on while tears starts to gather. A guy who fought tough deadly matches can't win a gentle girl who holds his heart. The strength and courage given was what only keep him standing with everything shatters and fall on him.

It was only day 2 ......

~the beauty exposed~

13 August 2010

The more i think, the more i want to find.
The more i find, the more i stays blank.
The more i blank, the more i feel sad.
The more i sad, the more i dunno what to do.

Coincidence i found out. Fate it turn out. Destiny i figure out.

Xiaomei fatfat maybe right, going too fast think brought her back to think of past. Shall not rush, leave it as it is. Let the river of life flow it course.

Now what later will be friendly which i do not know how it will be. The standard i'm in ...sigh... but promised someone to fight to end, be the very best. Having high morale is having half the battle won. Starting morale (month ago): |||||||||| Now morale (right now): |||||||||| Seriously didn't know how i can continue after being crippled and self-inflicted.

Shall today be my last day standing on this earth, will you remember me ?

~the beauty exposed~

12 August 2010

Thinking of you 365 days a year, 24 hours a day, 60 mins a hour, every single seconds was thinking about you. Like a moth naturally attracted to the special light, the sun. I was happy after times and times reject to sent dear home, she allows me. Had me jump from bed and straight to bath and out to meet her. Still care about friends i dun mind waiting other places. How i wish there is so much of this chance but she will be sad in class for the next one and half year. Seeing dear sleeping peacefully was joy in my heart, trying not to wake her up. Gently, whisper how i felt, guess she wouldn't know but i'm contented.

Spending moments beside her was like in heaven, tho i didn't talk much. Had prolly regret me being there instead of friends. Sent her right till the bus-stop as she wanted scare being seen and cause unwanted issue. Keep messaging her was wat on my mind even if i'm not hearing her voice. Things been so sweet till dear was in no mood to chat.

Starting to worry wat happened at home. She never replied and strange post appeared in fb. Then i guess pretty much in her mind right now. Thinking long, along to wat she likes, the dust finally settled down and know why. Hoping that it would not be wat she going to say but god played a joke on me i guess. pretty going to swear to kill god if he/she/it exist.

Know you want to have it slowly, having security and not having big changes. A promise that you had to kept for next one half year. A struggling mind to not have memories treated like a fake. Maybe thinking how to be around now. Be words on my heart, i be waiting for you. Be beside you through up and down till the day you choose a knight on horse that carry you forever. Making you as happy as a clam, you do not need to think it be unfair neither sorry cause you still worth it and i didn't regret which not in my dictionary. I shall kept it on my phone till one day to show you. Not unglam pictures but messages deep within my soul.

~the beauty exposed~

09 August 2010

Haha, skipped yog later to be with someone ...today was same as yesterday but just that what's with me was lesser. No file, one less clothes. Not that i feel hot ... actually is opposite. It's raining cats and dogs so thinking of wearing only one and bring my jacket along. I when out around afternoon, thinking dear sure never eat lunch and well kinda guess correct ...... her mom was sick so never cook and she plan on eating maggi mee. So unhealthy so i guess guess she will eat fried fish beehoon but guess wrong ... she wants mac. Buy from tampines reach there will cold liao so i decided to go hougang mall there buy. At least food not cold. Still thinking, i think i brought unhealthy food still but she happy jiu hao.

Halfway she call me buy 1 more for her sister. "not 3 more mei seen she got 3 sisters ?" but doesn't matter to me. Not mafan de. Just few more. Reach her house, wanting to act mac delivery one ... but she dun want, see me carry so much then come down help me. Her mom also looks bad with headach. Just too bad can't help her ..... panadol ? medicated oil ? aiyo .... Ate finish go into her bed room study. Today angie (think i spell correctly) got friends in study room so we take the bedroom lor. Somehow be with her felt so good. Gave her bearhug ! Think i too happy or wat until she can even feel my heartbeat =.="' Rest slowly find out la, not going to tell you :p I must stress that we did nothing inside also. Now and then, gave her kisses. Dear, study dun stress, smile =) Just wish time could stop still. The moment last forever in this every second. Dear you know what i mean.

National day celebration, dear house having pizza and taobao food ...... looks very good, not including eating with relatives(aunts/uncles) and friends(angie's) like bigbigbig family. For once i see dear ate proper meal. Then i also ate 3 slice of pizza. 1 mine, 1 her mom put one more for me and 1 more angie's friend can't eat then give me. Ok ~~~ but angie friend like not happy, think i say wrong something. Her face, attitude changed O.o .... hope angie dun mind. Later we go back into room to continue. *zoooom fast-forward*.

Both watch movie that continue from yesterday. More and more people joined in with cousin & emily. After that was fun taking photo with webcam, making cute, pretty, funny, stupid, crazy faces. Think dear's laptop was flooded. Transfer me soon :P i wana see also.

Tomorrow will be first day of 7th month so her mom want me go home earlier. Yes madam ^^, Deardear walk me to lift and goodnight kiss. Things was just too sweet, even sweeter then honey.

DearDear, no matter what, i will wait for you. If one day you see there is no stars in the sky means i used them to wish for you. Through thick and thin, i be there right beside you.

You asked me how long i will wait for you even if lots of etc came? I will tell you...

I will be your one and last guy to be with you. You be my angel that touched my heart, a light that dims the world, a dream that came to live, a promise to the end of the world till the sun dies, the sea goes dry. Know why i wrote more you then me ? Cause you are more then me in my life.

~the beauty exposed~

08 August 2010

Wear nice nice and go out. Carry my bag with lagtop in it, carry my file with worksheets, looking at sky, just a fine weather. This the first time i didn't want to be too suai bian. Taking bus 27 in the mid afternoon, was excited to be exact. Was hoping one day can go. "To where ?" must be running in thoughts ... A) school ? B)outside study with friends ? C)or maybe training seen 27 goes to hougang area. However, it's answer D, neither of the above.

Yup, today was going dear's house study and teach her AFD. Know, rather shy to be going up her house and knock on door. Later her mom or sister open door and ask who i am ... well her sister esther saw me few times on webcam but else only once. So dear come downstairs to pick me up. Saw tapioca then buy for dear .... know her dun eat much .... but crap missed stop .... alight early. So quickly walk fast ....... Stupid sun dunno try to keep food warm or trying to toast this bear. Finally reach liao then sms dear. She spoil the fun lor .... come down from stairs cannot cover her eye and guess me......

Enter her house, seeing her mom sitting on a chair .... playing fb game (ya ... think so ... she on some gift page). Her mom very nice le .... so we go study room study. Eiei ..... dun think so much ... her sisters also there, plus we are studying. Her sisters thinks i'm hot (jk ... ask wearing like this not hot ... but think used to it ba). Quite funny ...... Kid wear 1 shirt, teen wear 2 shirt for fashion, adult wear 3 for work. Studying AFD bit before she change to BEV. Just quite nice sometimes can hold her ...... shii ....... cannot say liao(plz la ... dun think so curve). Dunno just like to look at her no matter wat. Like moth attract to flame, just keep on looking and smiling(stupid me). Time fly so fast de lor ......evening liao ..... her mom invite me ate dinner at her house. Hmmm, yummy also ...... a bigbig bowl (adult portion).

Finish liao we continue bit ...... however soon all watch "Despicable Me". Seen only release soon so quality not very good. Watch until 40 min then stop cause going later liao. One thing shocked me is that *** **** ** after watching and think nearly her sisters saw it. Dear sent me down to bus-stop. Halfway call her go home. Not that i dun want her to be with me (truth is i want her be with me every second)...... just that she scare that pathway at night. So faster go home. Reach tamp i walk home cause lazy wait bus. Also nice time to see sky, sing song out loud and message dear. With that, she just like beside me.

Feel so blessed for you to be with me holding hands in each other warm embrace even in the coldest night.

~the beauty exposed~

05 August 2010

Today was a super happy day =), got to see dear tho i skipped sch today ... haha ... ya ... pretty bad student to skip school. Was waiting dear to have her hair rebond by hair design student as exam. Haha, she heard from her that she got a first timer making her hair ..... wonder how she looks like. It's only 2 hour or 3 hour max i already missing her not messaging me >.< Just hope to see her really really soon.

Rush out just to make it in time to meet them. Oh ya, sarah, dear's friend was also with her doing hair so ... O.o well doesn't matter anyway. We go eat yoshinoya at tampines mall. Haha, she decide long for eating but think bit bad seen she suppose can't eat, still she did =.="'

Ta bao bubbletea on the way home(wait, bubbletea is already ta bao one...haha). She say wana sit 72 cause lesser people. Been sitting 72 for dunno how long every week and well it become natural for me to know the way. Felt happy to see dear sleep. That cute peaceful sleeping face, just so beautiful. Haha, was thinking "bus drvier can drive slowly or not" ... haha ... evil me ... thinking same time i sould have brought my jacket .... least kept her warm bit ... haiz ...

Just few stop before inter, dear woke up liao. Guess she too tired from pass few days staying up late. dun say never hor...... then we wait 27 to go her house. Know how i got your floor you live correct =P cause you told me before ... haha ... guess you forgot about it. Got gift from her as well while walking her up.

Still texting her all the way till we both sleep. Seeing each other in dreams ba ^^ good night and sweet dreams

~the beauty exposed~

03 August 2010

It seem my death date shorten from 4 months to less then 2 week. Question marks above your heads right now correct ? Ya, probably for my spar mates, yup correct, Tournament. Frequency is much increased from once to 2 or 3, not including the main class on wednesday with friendly matches and IVP on-coming. Tip-top conditions in "FLY" cat? I still quite a big distance away so i always got scolding. Sigh... that the hope he put on us, the pressure i getting for whats my belt and what i need to do. Well enough of this ...... too argh but not the point of my post la !

The main one is coming up ...

Tatas ! Yup that's you patty dear. Come on i know you know thinking that you very ugly right ... but seriously you not la ...... so pretty and cute dun so fast fail yourself la ... ai yo. This few days has been very very happy until i forgot to blog ... haha ... online then webcam liao. She actually make me smiled when i stressed doing revision papers ... right hor kenneth got see me pekcei before ... anyway love to hear you say also ^^

Wanted to sent her home and eat dinner with her (or she will tend to skip de), dun say never hor, however due to where i am, i could hardly do it. But i sure will de. Plus a red big santa claus bag for you ...... lol just for a lollipop ! Nice right :) Ya la ...... she one of the very few people i be veryvery nice no matter wat. Why so nice to me ar ? Got something up your sleeves right (see knifes already pointing at me)...... where got ...... just that you all been the only few made me comfortable with only ...... the feeling knowing you be always sitting on my shoulder beside me, the priceless treasure in my heart. Not even my real family gave me those feelings. And patty want to be with you forever =P

Ok la ... dun say me unfair, show you mine as well

ok la ... more coming soon ^^

~the beauty exposed~