Lost In Beauty-

27 July 2010

Today i could wake up late cause there is no S&W. What's S&W ? Do you know PE ? Ya just a better way of calling it, Sports & Wellness. However i woke up after 3 nightmares in a row. Now that i recap, i can't remember much expect that the fact one's about my dad, one about tkd and one about her. People say dreaming was because of unrest mind at work. I could say definitely true and i hate it. Dajavu will happen ever seen that time i was small about going mushroom farm till recently vision of a guy sitting opposite bench while i chatting with my friend. It way creep!

The moment i got to school on this rainy day, ms chan had already start nagging ... "aw crap". Yup, i only go school just for that 2 hour but i did had a plan with friends to study and that's what i hoping for only. We had a bite before going library study. Thinking they will not notice the bottle of F&N grape under my jacket, i walk to the table. Our school was like going downward instead of stories. One of the teacher was sharp enough to caught me while i walking down the staircase. Well, can't help but put it back into my bag. After few hour, it just starting to make me frustrated. The amount that can't be balanced. Actually more of funny how i study. Put on my earpiece, take out left side and answer questions. Put it back on just to take out right side and answer another question. By the end of 5pm, i think i did nothing meaningful. I still stucked.

Feeling rather bad, i wanted to go ranning. Ha, how stupid of me thinking of ranning with my right instep still throbbing with sharp pain often. Stress, pain, think i would rather choose pain. At least you know how to get rid of it without thinking what will happen after that. Met Lucas and Ruifang change my plan of going home to put my stuff. So we even chat and joke around abit with her teacher before going to hougang.

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At bus was just sleeping time for everyone. Taking 72, it took quite sometime and enough to get rid of tiredness. Didn't know what kind of tiredness but i bet sure have somewhere somehow. *Woke up by a slight tap* "Ya? Reached ?", i asked lucas. Looking around the bus and outside, the environment just different. People around was like standing up and the error beeping sound coming from underdeck was just loud and continuous. "What happened?". "Not sure le". A school boy sitting opposite asked me what happened as well. Guess he's like us, been sleeping all the way. Think we should just get down bus. After that then found out from bus diver that something wrong with the bus cause it is *dancing* O.O Ya dancing is what he said. It just 4-5 stops from hougang cc, instead of walking, we waited for another one to came by just because quite lazy to walk. The traffic was rather too smooth to be truth. Normally just got jams.

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Four of us when for the usual ranning route. I would feel that i'm not up to standard. I was wearing my heavy school ranning shoes from new balance, making my legs getting tired faster. When i reach the second bus-stop, the tired sensation wash over my body. Somewhat, i keep my pace and the 101 advice of mine, "Never stop ranning even it kills you". Definitely, stopping would kill you more due to the energy you need to spend to get back on and distance you lose compare to slow ranning. Well, didn't hit into the 12 minute record by ...... 5 seconds ! Dammit ! Lucas and yiting all dropped but ruifang improved greatly.

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Just then sir wei kang came. I just didn't know he already reach CC. Normally we would expect him to come not that early. Well here goes the training. It was very much first time learning unarmed combat. Interesting stuff i would say. Throughout i was thinking "Oh~ This was easy! Wow!"

Still the few of us had to work hard. Sacrifices was made to make us grow. A effort that not definitely bare equivalent result but still put hopes in us. Modding us from a slab of clay into a beauty art. The passion of flame inside supports the making of it. I really wish we will last till the end, getting to the goal together despite people's un-supportive comments.

~the beauty exposed~

26 July 2010

Feeling cold, i hug my blooster but it still very cold. Morning rain usually very cold and shiok, somehow just not enough warm to keep me asleep. That's what's bad for those who didn't like air-con, well i didn't have a air-con before to start off with. My room ? Was just a shared room with my sister younger by one year, one side full of my dad work stuff which fill up 1/3 of room space and a full build-in shelf desk. Seen small, i been wishing living in a better family, a better place. Ha ...... there goes the negative side of me again.

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Climb out of bed, thinking i should better hurry up cause i already late to meet rest. Well only few person i wish i be meeting only but guess that not impossible as they already know other for like 2 years or more plus the relationship, just not possible. Till now, i do not know where i stands. IF one day i have mind reading skill, it would be much easier for my heart and mind. I would know what they thinking and do something. Being (dunno what that called, dunno any of their thoughts), is torturing me. Always cutting my emotion and feeling into half.

Going Taxation class was like holding a knife slashing at my wrist. Just can't stand her lecturing(good way)/nagging(bad way) non-stop once she got bit of break in between questions. And what worst is just starting ...... lecturing was for next 2 hours. Dam it ......

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The pro me that live by name, sleeping beauty, just slept through the whole thing =.="' if this was known by my parents, i be real dead ...... seriously dead. Let not talk about this ... what great coming was lunch. Eating in blessing (in chinese) very much disagree. Disagree more when you eating "yucky" food instead of "yummy". The lemon chicken rice really suks la. Just some weird taste, wish i had just go buy Japanese food when there is no wantan mee.

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Brought ice-cream from muffin shop in our school. We had become lab rats to test the new mocha. Well not bad ...... slowly go up to class. Somehow ms chan had her menopause =.="'. We not even late and come out scolding us, threatening us to throw away ice-cream and go inside or she lock the door. End up same lecturing and doing a survey. I gave a very un-bias survey, the very truth for her but what's the use. Just gonna another ms dion. Now you know why student tend to "pong" school/class. Teachers had been student before but just didn't understand what we thinking. Cause they not student anymore. Finally class just ended with lots of ADA papers *happy happy* Got things to do. Somehow vincent made ms heng unhappy, not sure why but well enough for a not angry teacher or get bit pissed but still on her control.

Somethings just can't get out of my heart. I'm just another one who help her in studies, one she forgets when times goes. Had someone noticed ? By writing day of story doesn't make me tear. What make me tear always the last paragraph. The words that came from place that deeper then the dept of the sea, further then plane could reach.

~the beauty exposed~

25 July 2010

The sound of roaring engine wakes me up that the very first light hit the earth. "Dam it ! Can't they do it quieter or upgrade abit ...", I though. See the light beneath the door would only means my dad just prepare to eat his breadfast before going out. It's around 7+ and i already up. Sian, on com sit down there bit before really going to wash up.

When downstairs to buy food, somehow, weekend neighborhood was much different from weekday. More people with objectives to buy everything before everyone else, picking the freshest item around. Walking in sea of them absorbing the slow-pace of the scene in front of me, i'm in no hurry to get it done fast. I still had the whole empty day in front of me. Thinking of that, good that lucas got something to do (grading at dunno where).

Somehow my swell on instep is getting smaller till i can walk freely (just not to press it). Wondering how i go CCK this tuesday with it ...... sighs.

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Going night was no different then afternoon. One thing great is that i slept my whole afternoon away. Ha, amusing huh ... 1 person slept min. 1/3 of their live but me, looks like more then half or even 2/3. Think i just sleep early.

*Feeling : Sometime i just want to talk to you but happy with your present. Knowing that you care for me is the greatest warm i need.

~the beauty exposed~

24 July 2010

Wake up in the morning with calls from my mom. I was guessing it was roughly 6 ...... yes am on a Saturday morning. Till now i need to decide, to message my friend az if i can go for YOG. YOG still like 2-3 more weeks away and this will be the last training session. *Looking at my feet* Think i'll be fine to walk. My swell is much smaller compare to yesterday's, a deep reddish brown skin tone that rise like a mountain. Thanks to rui fang and sir weikang's advice. *Haha* Was what i thought when it reminds me "old one didn't go, new one dun come".

It's always been my right leg that is injured. Maybe i just left legged, who knows ...... such things always change due to trainings. Got to snatch the bathroom before my dad (he always pick the very wrong time to bath and do business). Got early actually already late from the meeting time at interchange. Ride the long butt pain 72 to NYP. Az never give me chance and keep walking so fast ...... felt like whacking him so he will walk same speed with me.

The training was briefing the systems, procedures and the bests *also known as lamest by some idiots* dance step of the YOG song. But hey, how can you say that. If you guys was so talented, go write a song and chronograph dance steps that everyone can do in just 1 or 2 tries. Going back was the same painful as going, just that more happier cause GOING BACK. Who didn't want go back but i had to buy things for BBQ in evening.

Just skip everything, my evening was free just cause i didn't want to just watch movie and eat dinner. It was rather bored, might as well be good boy and stay home. Also good for my leg seen it is injured. Spaghetti was what i had for dinner not pointing out that i been a lab rat to test how it taste with dry chicken bits. Ruin the tomato taste. *yuck*

~the beauty exposed~

23 July 2010

Rise and shine, the morning sunlight lit up the whole sky. The day just the same before, nothing much change. When was the last day i blogged ? Ya, that's right, exactly 1 month ago. It's been long, actually not that long compare to few years of this dammed life. "Wake up seeing everything is ok, the first time i felt my life is so great", the lyric of a song. Somehow just opposite of what i feeling. Though something good after finishing taxation CA2 and presentation, wasn't. So sian till i skipped 4 hours of class starting from 8am.

Somehow know that mrs chan will nag the hell out of us. Seem like almost every teacher i met was grouped into the crap teacher mode category. Only thing spurt me on to go is ADA class which at least got challenging questions to do without restriction. Felt so free like soaring is air making stuns.

What i waiting now ? Think maybe TKD later. Feeling like no mood do anything after my blogging. Well think i have to get prep for someone's birthday and another CA ... sigh.

"Nothing around you is great when you feel life is sian" - By me

~the beauty exposed~