Thinking out loud at midnight

Its difficult to sleep tonight, I dont know why, maybe because there are many things in my head, and my heart is a mess, filled with tons of different feelings.

Sometimes we would like to be in other place, living another life; yes, we know thats silly and childish, but we cant help it. When life sucks , when we feel we are not strong enough, those feelings, that desire of amother life and place comes to our minds, like a protection, like a way to escape for the reality that we are living inside us.

I am so grateful for everything I have, for the people around me, I probably dont have the right to complain, because there are so many people really suffering out there, people alone, people without the essencial things to live, and I am such a priviliged person, with a house to live, food to eat, people who love me.

Its just that sometimes I am tired of fighting, tired of not finding what I need, what my heart asks for, tired of trying to be a good person, when some people around me seems to be happier than me doing things that are not right, tired of trying to give the best of me, to only recive answers that I dont understand and I honestly think I dont deserve either.

I guees we need to go on, remembering the good things, focusing on all those blessings that we do really have and trying to be the best we can, with our weakness and our strengths, because tomorrow the sun will shine again, and maybe life will be easier and happier.

Thats importan to me

I put a song the other day here in my blog that I really liked when I found it,and as I said then, although country is not my favourite style (I am a rock girl :)), I looked for other songs of these guys, becuase I like the girls voice.

And I found this song



and I listened to it four times in a row that moment, and I have listened to it more after that.

I listened to it because I really liked it, but also cause it made think in what is important to me regarding the things that the song says.

Everyone who knows me a little bit, knows that I have never had a great desire to get married, I havent had good luck with guys (actually, I haven had bad luck either,my experience with boyfriends is so short), but thats not the reason for the lack of desire, I guess its mainly because I am very independent (and sometimes selfish too), and also because I have always had (and still has)a very good male friends, with whom I talk about everything, we trust each other, and have a lot of fun together, and I like that kind of friendships a lot, so, somehow, I fear that, if we cross the "friendship/love line" and something goes wrong, we will never have what we had before; that have never happened to me, and maybe its silly and childish,but I guess I cant help to think that it will happen.

Not having a boyfriend hasnt been a problem most of the time, because I am so lucky to have a caring family and great friends, but lately I am thinking more about it, and listening to this song the other day, when it says: "always having you to hug,being beside you when we grow up", makes me wonder if I will have that someday.

Finding someone is not easy, specially these days, and I know I am quite a complicated person who is not sure if would be able to share a life with someone, after all these years being alone, so I guess I have to asumme it, and to know that I will always have the love, the hugs, and great moments of happiness with my friends and my family, and thats a huge blessing for me, I am so grateful for that.

Probably, I will reread this tomorrow, and think how silly I am for talking about a cheesy love country song, but tonight I needed to write about it, sorry for bothering you with my silly things.

Have a great day, and enjoy every minute you sahre with the people you love.

New York City

I have never been in NY, I hope someday I will be able to go there, because its one of those cities that I have always wanted to know (the list is huge, if I were rich, I think I would be tavelling a lot, knowing new places, learning about other cultures and poits of view...).

Lately, I think a lot about NY, not just like a place to go, but more like a symbol, I really dont know how to explain it , but I guess what I mean is that NY seems like a great place, where everything is posible, full of opportunities, a good place to start again, to rewrite our story from the begining.

I know I have written about this before, probably because its a subject that is always in my mind, but this last year it has been even more present in my thoughts: I feel like my life is not moving at all, everyone around me has things happening in their lives, and my life is boring and nothing important really happens.

I know I cant complain, because I have evrything I need : a caring family, great friends, a job, but sometimes I wonder if, after all these years, I have really done somthing worthy, if I have realy grown up, at least a little bit.

Sometimes I think in leaving everything behind, and trying to go somewhere else, just to see if maybe my life has to be in another place, doing something different, but I am not sure if thats what I really want to do, or its just a way to escape from everyday fight here, or maybe the real thing is that I am not brave enough to take the risks of a new begining.

Anyway, I am just thinking out loud after a hard day, and I learned long time ago that I dont have to take myself very seriously. As one of my best friends says: life can be wonderful, we just need to enjoy it.

Thanks to anyone that still reads this blog, I promise I will try to write a better post next time.

Talking about NY, I really like this song, so I share it with you.

Play the song

I dont like country very much, but I found this song today, looking for other things, and I liked it, it makes me dance a little bit .

I specially like the lyrics:sometimes we want to find the pefect moment, the perfect situation, the perfect timing, and we complain , because we dont have luck, or we dont achieve what we want, but, many times the solution its easy, we jut need to play the song.

I am working on it, and I keep thinking that this year will be my year, we´ll see.



Hope you all are fine, missing you as always, and thinking that I need to go see you someday soon.

Everything is posible

This is not the kind of music that I usually like, but a friend of mine showed me this song the other day, and I really liked it: it makes me happy, I wanna dance when I hear it, and, most of all, the lyrics of the song are so optimistic and help to think that we can do great things when we put everything on it.

I specially like a part of the song that says:"If you think that you boat is not moving, you need to use your hand and make it moves", and other part that says:"If your life seems always the same, something has to change"

This song also makes me think in a quote that I heard long time ago, and I really like it because it helps me to never forget that we do have the power to make good things, to be happy, to overcome difficult times, and, most of all, to make this world a better place for everyone. The quote says:

"If you think you are too small to make an impact, try going to sleep with a mosquito in your room"

P.S I will trnaslate de whole song one of these days, when I have more free time.

Coming back to normal (I hope...)

Today this video helps me a lot.

I havent written very much lately cause I was not in my best moment, but I am better everyday, trying to go on, and I hope I´ll write here more often.

Hope you all guys are fine and happy, miss you and love as always!

Secret Prayer from The Lower Lights on Vimeo.

Commitment

"The irony of commitment is that it's deeply liberating--in work, in play, in love. The act frees you from the tyranny of your internal critic, from the fear that likes to dress itself up and parade around as rational hesitation. To commit is to remove your head as the barrier to your life."

Wondering if I will be able to overcome the doubts and fears, to let commitment wins...working on it!!.

I like this song, specially the lyrics, because its important to remeber who we are, to put our hearts in the right place, and thats an important part of commitment.