The days and weeks leading up to his delivery I was so excited but so scared. I was so worried about Bode. Not in the way of will he like him. I was worried about his feelings. I felt so bad for Bode there were many times I would cry. The weekend before Gabe was born I made plans for every night. I kept putting stuff off. I didn't clean or pack or do laundry until the night before. Brett was very frustrated with me. He wanted to get everything done before and couldn't understand why i would make plans. It was my way of dealing. So the night before I was a mess cleaning packing doing laundry. I wanted Brett to give me a blessing. I cried a lot the night before. Another way I deal. Brett's blessing calmed me and made feel at peace. It answered my concerns without Brett even knowing my concerns. I was ready. I got about 2 hrs of restless sleep. Brett maybe 3 hrs of restless sleep. We arrived at the hospital and this time I didn't break down and cry. I was couldn't wait to be hooked up to monitors. I wanted to hear that heartbeat. Every Dr appt I was anxious to hear that heartbeat. Because you never know. We got hooked up and what a wonderful sound that little heartbeat is. We had 2 hrs to wait. About a half hr before i had a girl named Heather Telford come and take pictures. She was able to get all the pictures on this post. I felt a little embarrassed I'm not used to just sitting there and getting pictures taken. But I love them so much. I cry looking through them. Because all those feelings and emotions come right back to me. Like before the delivery I was feeling Gabe move around a ton. And getting to kiss Gabe while I was being sewn up and seeing the tear running down my cheek. That was pointed out to me by Heather. This time I walked into the operating room leaving Brett behind again. It makes me so anxious to leave him. I wished he could just come with me the whole time. But going into the operating room they prep me and give me a spinal block. I couldn't feel a thing. Of course anesthesia makes me throw up. So before you know it I.m dry heaving off to the side while the anesthesiologist holds the barf bag. but that ends and the Dr's come in and start operating but Brett wasn't in there yet and once again Brett is rushed in. So the Dr's start and Brett is holding my hand and what feels like forever we hear his cry. And then both Brett and I cry. I will say it over and over but hearing your baby cry for the first time is truly the best sound in the world. The Dr's were joking that he had red curly hair. But the nurses were saying in amazement how much hair he had. I do not have anything against red hair so i was excited. But Dr berry lifted him above the drape and I got to see my baby. My sweet chunky baby. He did have a full head of hair and the moment i saw him I thought he looked like bode. So much of Gabe reminded me of Bode. I was so excited he weighed 8.7lbs and he was 21 inches. Brett was able to hold him first and then he brought him over so I could see him and kiss him. Then Gabe and Brett go back to the recovery room. I cant wait to get back and hold my baby. Once I'm back in the recovery room Bode is there with my Mom and Brett's parents. I'm so happy and just cry when I see my Bode. I cant hold him but Brett brings him to me to give him a kiss. I just want to hold and squeeze both my babies. The nurses are washing and taking care of Gabe and the one nurse keeps playing with his hair. Finally I get to hold my Gabe and its everything and more that I've been waiting for. He smells so good I cant stop kissing him. Hes so soft I just keep touching his cheeks. My sweet sweet Gabe the Babe. I'm so thankful for my boys. I'm so thankful for all my visitors that wanted to come love on my Gabe. Sorry I was dry heaving the first day. Thank you all for the love and support you've given me.
