My Early Christmas Present :D

As usual, i would dread the sound of the incoming message informing me of my results. This time however, i did not hear it. Either it was too soft or i was dead asleep. When i finally mustered the courage to read it (well, not that i expected myself to do badly; its just that i was afraid of my high expectations). I scanned through and wait a min, did i see something out of the ordinary or were my eyes playing tricks on me? Indeed, it was a pleasant surprise. The first A- in my uni life, and it came from my favourite module forensic science. It was definitely worth that much bid points, the late night lectures at utown and inconvenient trip back home. It was really surprising cause i didn't do quite well for the first CA and this module was competitive as well. Really, i was ecstatic. I have never felt this way in year 1. Well, i hope that this is only the beginning and everything will continue to be smooth-sailing :D

Life is such a joke...

When I thought everything was over, and happiness was finally here, the bomb dropped on me...

My sister walked into the room with a weird expression on her face, and dropped the earth-shaking news to me. Dad had just been retrenched from his job. At that moment, my face turned red hot and tears came streaming down like nobody's business. Our sole bread winner is now gone. Images flashed through my mind, all those difficult times where we didn't even have enough to eat. No allowances for school, having to give up all my savings to help pay for bills etc. I know this is what we would have to face sooner or later. Why? Why is it always us? Do you know how hard is it for us, when i can't even find the time to work and help lessen his burden? No one knows about this. Even if they knew, what can they do? Not one of our relatives helped us through the last time, except for one. This time, i am prepared for the worst, having to give up my meagre savings again. I want to help him so much but i can't. That's why i used to admire my friends who went to the workforce instead of continuing their studies. At least they can help... All i can do is to pray and hope he can find another job soon, before our savings (no, they are not even savings cause we don't even have) depletes.

Bomb no. 2 dropped on me this morning via a sms. She was the closest friend i ever had in secondary school. The moment i heard the news, i was in a frenzy, rushing to wash up and zoomed straight to her house. Again, tears came rolling down, i don't know what else to do other than consoling her, saying its okay, don't cry. It is easy for say but i know the hurt is there for a dead person won't be coming back. I imagine her to be me - I'll probably be wailing like crazy. This happened during my poly days when my mum was rushed to A&E for breathing difficulties and angina. I cried for days, the house was so quiet, no one to breathe me down my neck, do my things for me.. I thought what if she never came back. what if...

At the age of 21, my major milestone turns out to be this way... Why? I've had enough of obstacles throughout my teenage years. What else now? My turn next? (cause i know i'll probably need a ultrasound soon due that damn problem)

お誕生日おめでとうございます

Finally crossed a major milestone in my life - 21 years altogether.

21 years of tears, fun, joy and laughter.
So grateful to have my family and friends with me to celebrate it.
Was actually kinda last minute decision to plan one, but there were no regrets for I know these memories will last to the day I die.
Special thanks to NIGHTMARE @ SOW 2010, the first bunch to friends I made in my uni life, full of spontaneity and craziness (I can't wait for our Langkawi trip in Dec).
Also to my 2 best friends since secondary school - Amie and Zaty. Time flies and here we are, 8 years of friendship, and many more years to go.
A pity my poly mates and former colleagues didn't make it; was a bit disappointed but... nevermind (:


With everything settled, it's back to studies - 4 consecutive CAs + 2 reports not done.
Mug and mug all the way to finals and it's sem 2.
Seriously, time flies... and it will soon be year 3 of my uni life...

Happily Ever After (:

Attended my first friend's wedding on saturday (2nd Oct). Although it was a simple one, i felt the LOVE everywhere. So nice to have someone there for you all the time, promising to love and care for you til the day you part with each other, with the wedding ring being the link between 2 person.

The 幸福 Couple with 7 yrs worth of memories

I forgot how old I was at that time, but I remember telling myself I wanted to get married by the age of 25. Well, I'm reaching 21 in 2 weeks time and my 桃花 has yet to arrive. HAHA. My friends were saying we're lonely hearts, and the LOVE atmosphere that day made us all feel like getting married. Don't even have time to finish studying, where on earth do i have time to get a fish? Studies are a priority now, especially if i wanna get into honours; which reminds me that I'll have a lonely year ahead with most of my friends gone for their SEP. Well, money makes the world goes round doesn't it?

Back to Studies :D

Finally, its back to studies. I've cleared all the camps and returned 3X darker than i was before, thanks to the double sun-tanning trips to sentosa for war games during SOW and the extra one during RAG DAY recently.

Many memories were made, and this reminded me of SOW 2010 when I first entered NUS, with no friends. 1 year down the road, I'm proud to say I've made many friends from SOW 2010, SOW 2011, lectures, laboratories etc. And they will accompany me down the long road of university study :D

On a side note, I went for my 1st forensic science lecture on friday and it was really an eye-opener. Well, some of the photographs were too much for me and I have them in the back of my mind even till now. This serves as a reminder to me not to take life for granted. Seeing all the different ways and methods those offenders can think of and commit, it really leads me to think: how can they withstand the goreness and cruelty to want to dismember their victims? If they can have such high tolerance to carry out such thing, why can't they use it to admit that they did indeed carry out those gruesome acts? Well, they may get punished but the scar is already there... Now, even when crossing the road, I exercise greater care than before cause I really don't wanna end up like them... Not that its my fault or anything, just that those pictures jolted me up...

The Dilemma of Module Planning

round 0 started yesterday and i'm still undecided on which experimental module to take. Had wanted to take 5 modules this sem but i guess i would have to stick with 4 cause i already have 2 heavy core modules on hand and i might have another one if i do get forensic science (which i really hope i do with my abundant g account points)... Read through the reviews on the various modules to help me make my decision and i even had to draw lots to decide. Seriously, module planning kills. Anyway, below are the short summary of each modules i have/want to take/undecided etc.

LSM2101 - Metabolism and Regulation (Allocated Core Module):

dealing with the biosynthesis and catabolism of carbohydrates, proteins, lipids and nucleic acids; emphasis on integration and regulation of metabolic pathways in different tissues and organs.

(well, this is like LSM1101 - biochemistry module which i didnt do too well, but at least better than LSM1102. will definitely need to pull up my socks)

LSM2102 - Molecular Biology (Allocated Core Module):

dealing with the structure, organisation and function of gene and genomes in prokaryotes and eukaryotes including transcription, post-transcriptional modifications etc.

(this is sooooo MCB stuff which i did badly once again. i just realised i always get the heavy content modules in sem 1 which will pull my CAP down)

GEK1542 - Forensic Science (To Bid For):

intro to lab set-up of Centre for Forensic Science, handling of DNA profiling, death investigation, toxicology and identification of illegal drugs etc.

(this module is so awesome!!!! have always wanted this module but its soooooo expensive. lowest bid pt for last year was 878. i have1027 pts so hopefully that is enough!)

LSM2201A - Experimental Biochemistry (Undecided):

dealing with protein purification and characterisation. includes chromatographic methods and lab practices.

(well, its biochemistry and i didnt do too well. but part of me wants this module)

LSM2203 - Experimental Microbiology (Undecided):

dealing with microbial diversity, biological aspects of microbes, methods and approaches in study of microbiology.

(its just streaking of plates and carrying out of stains i guess... I have totally left out experimental MCB cause i'm not gonna do that man. And with the drawing of lots thingy, i happen to pick this out of 2 tries straight. is that what heaven's telling me to take?)

Anyways, i ought to have a back-up plan in case i don't get forensic science right? I need to have 4 modules max. I dont want to fluster like last sem when my pts wasn't enough ): I still have till monday to decide which expt module to take so... maybe i'll stick with the result of the lots being drawed haha.

It's Time For CORS Again

Yes, i have 3 more days to SOW Prep Camp and i'm using these remaining days to do my module planning. As usual, module planning sucks. I need to scroll through the entire faculty list to look for potential modules to take, having to consider the faculty, general education, breadth and s'pore studies requirements as well as the cut-off MCs for level 1000 modules. Seriously, apart from science, I have no interest in other subjects. But the university requires us to take some subjects which are unrelated to science at all... I always have to crack my brains to try to find something that is UN-SCIENCED. And i swear i don't do well for those, like my business module last semester.

Anyway, after much consideration and discussion with my mum and my RP senior, I have decided to lighten my workload by only taking 4 modules per semester instead of the usual 5. I think i will be able to cope better this way. At least i have some handicap in having exemptions for 5 modules or 1 semester worth of modules. Thus, instead of graduating in 2 and a half yrs (w/o honours), I would take 3 yrs. At least it is better to take lesser modules and score then to take the normal load and fail to score right?

Back to module planning, I can foresee my terrible timetable when school reopens next month. Most of my core modules end at 8pm. Forensic Science is even worse, ending at an unearthly timing of 10pm. Regardless of the sucky timing, i am gonna to dump all my G points to secure this module. Imagine. Forensic Science!!!!! Where in the world can you learn such a module? I'm still considering whether to continue Japanese 2. My skills are so rusty and i think i have forgotten almost 3/4 of the kanji, katakana and hiragana already... And i'm having a headache on whether i should take ecology and environment or bioinformatics; biochemistry or microbiology. Oh god oh god. Really, module planning is killing me ):

Goodbye Year 1, Hello Year 2

Well, results were released early in the morning as usual, thanks to the messaging system that NUS had. And yes again, I had difficulties sleeping the night before, with different thoughts rummaging through my mind.. No matter how much i dreaded for the day to arrive, it still arrived and i had to face that particular sms. i wouldn't say i did well, cause i knew definitely, there was no way i was gonna reach my target CAP of 3.5 in one semester. But i was quite surprised though, not that i had gotten any A, not that i did well in my Singapore Studies cause that was expected too since it was a business module and business is not my cup of tea. Instead, my CAP improved quite a lot i would say.

I still remember even during my years in RP, even if i had straight As for consecutive semesters, it was difficult to drastically increase my GPA. The most i could do was increase it by 0.2 points. And that was from a GPA of 3.6 in year 1 to a GPA of 3.8 in year 3. I don't know if it's the NUS way of counting merits (which i doubt so cause they seemed the same) or what but my CAP jumped from 2.6 in semester 1 (which is so damn bad due to chemistry) to 3.0 in semester 2, which totaled up to an increase in 0.4 points in just 1 semester. Well, it is still far more from my target, but at least it is a console to me for at last i can see a digit 3 in the front. Maybe the general physiology module helped me? Or it was because i took less than the normal load this time? Well, there may be a few reasons but i'm glad. It gives me the drive and motivation to want to do better. Even if i still cannot make it, at least i had the chance to read a degree, like what the faci said.

On a side note:

dear faci, although i don't know who you are, thank you for writing the short yet strong msg. It really drives me to work harder to achieve my goals. And indeed, even if i can't make it into honours, I still have a degree from NUS. I will do my best and not fail to disappoint anyone, including myself (:

with <3,

STACY

Dreams vs. Reality

After 20 years on Earth, dreams were both fulfilled and shattered. Dreams of achieving a GPA of 3.8, dreams of entering NUS, dreams of doing science being fulfilled; dreams of entering Monash to do medicine, dreams of entering NUS to do medicine, dreams of being a doctor being shattered. Another one of my dreams may be shattered soon.

Indeed, entering NUS was a difficult choice. Being prestigious, everything here would definitely be 10 times more demanding than all my other neighbourhood schools and what people claimed to be a "lousy" polytechnic that I have attended. Yes, maybe i wouldn't even have the chance to step foot in NUS if i entered the other polytechnics. I knew that if i decided to come here, I would have to give my utmost effort. However, i feel like Jack in the Titanic movie, sinking deeper and deeper into the waters. I still remembered being super depressed after seeing my semester 1 results. Even though i managed to scrap through my chemistry, it left a mark in my CAP, pulling it down like how the Titanic sank. My dreams of doing honours are slipping further and further away from me. I felt so ashamed of myself. Being the worst out of all my friends. Indeed, they should be better than me for they came from a junior college background. But deep inside... I still... At least i am not the only one who feels this way. At least i can talk to my RP senior about it because we are in the same exact position. At least I have my diploma to fall back on. At least...

I don't dare to think about my upcoming results at the end of the month... Will there be a difference? Would someone save me like how Rose got rescued? Or would I continue to sink deeper into the ocean just like Jack, never to resurface again? It remains a question to be answered...

Really, sometimes you just have to be content with what you are given. Even if the end isn't sweet, I would just have to accept it. Cause what can i do apart from that? Ultimately, dreams are dreams, not reality...

Its Already 2011?

こんばんわ。わたしはステイシーです。シンガポールからしました。シンガポールこくりつだいがくのがくせいです。いちねんせいです。だいがくはとてもきれいです。そして、食べ物はとてもおいしいです。でも、宿題はとてもむずかしいです。とてもたいへんですね。。。

I miss learning Japanese... Was unable to continue this semester. Thus, in order not to forget what I have learnt, I have tried writing a self-introductory essay here. HAHA.

Anyway, my new semester is coming to an end all too soon. It seemed like it just started. And in a few months time, I would be a yr 2 undergrad. Time really passes by so fast. And then I will be 21. What do I hope to achieve this year? I think the number 1 concern would definitely be my sucky grades. Did a calculation and predicted my CAP for this semester, and I got a shock of my life. In order to at least be accepted for honours, I would have to get at least an A- for ALL MY MODULES. Which is totally impossible, or even insane! Nevertheless, I would still have to mug like crazy and hope for the best. Especially this semester since most of my finals are either MCQs, essay-based or open-booked, which means that it is even harder to score.

Anyways, I might not be able to blog as frequent as I used to cause I have tonnes and tonnes of projects to settle. Arghh. Chiong and chiong and chiong. 2 4000+ report to be submitted by week 11 and I haven't even start. I just don't know how to when they are not in my field of study. Especially infocomm. Really regretted taking the IT module. Arghh. Stats next semester. Even worse. I think I'm gonna just die.

Never mind, I shall just focus on my finals and then holidays! Exciting holidays are coming! Gonna be a senior to the freshies. Come freshies! Join SOW 2011! I bet you will have fun! Omg. I can't believe I volunteered myself to enter a 3 camps, especially when I used to really dread camps and would give any excuses just to avoid it! HAHA. Okay enough of crapping. I need to hit the books man ):