Egg-citing December

Yes. It has been an exciting december, ever since my disastrous exams were over and stuffs.

Had plenty of outings with different groups of friends, attending of weddings and more.

Words can't tell much but pictures does so i will let them do the talking :D

K-Box with cliques after soooooo long :D

Cousin's Wedding <3

OG's Timbre + Slumber Partayyy (:

Another note aside, results were released today vis push SMS. and oh god. i didnt dare to read my msg, which i eventually did. To qoute what my friend said : " i dont know whether to cry or laugh." and "not sure if its really worth calling for a celebration." Very true indeed. It fits totally. The crying part with the lousiest C.A.P that i have seen in my studying history, and the laughing part with chemistry which i had prepared to retake next sem. Well i guess its no use crying over spilled milk for everything is over. Time to embrace the incoming semester and i sincerely hope i will not encounter such disastrous grades ever again. And talking of next sem, only one word: HAIZ. Am i doing a life science major or a computing major? Seriously. Guess i will see myself talking computer language for the whole of sem 2. Well then, prepare for the challenge stacy.

p.s. although its only a teeny weeny short trip to cameron for a wedding, i cant wait to leave here for some fresh air. and thanks joan for helping me with my module bidding part :D

A Sore Biochemistry Story

The story is about a mRNA, who felt lonely. So he pulled over a ribosome to translate himself a protein for company.

He said to the protein: Hi, I'm your template.

"Hi, I'm RNase." The protein replied.

There was silence for a very short while, and the mRNA continued: Never mind, I won't live for long anyway. Why not we spend some time together?

"Ok." The protein said.

Then they stood side by side for a while. Suddenly the protein said: Actually I'm not RNase yet.

mRNA: Er.

Protein: I'm now just a polypeptide.

mRNA smiled.

Protein: But I'll become real RNase very soon.

mRNA: It's ok. Eventually I'll die anyway.

Protein stayed close to mRNA. She slowly began to twist, fold and make up herself. She looked more and more like a real RNase. Meanwhile, the mRNA started to degrade.

Protein: I think I'd better leave, maybe you can live longer without me.

mRNA: Don't, don't leave. I have something to tell you.

mRNA: You know, I used to have a template as well, his name is DNA.

Protein: Where is he now?

mRNA: He has been sleeping for very long time. His promoter was switched off.

Protein: Who did that? Will he ever wake up again?

mRNA: It was me.

And then he smiled: But he will wake up. As long as I'm gone, he'll wake up.

mRNA continued: I remembered the time I was just transcribed, the DNA said to me, hi, I'm your template. I said, hi, I'm mRNA. Then he smiled and said, nice to meet you. Then he slowly fell asleep.

Protein didn't say anything.

"I missed him a lot." mRNA's voice started to fade, "I'm vanishing. If he wake up, and happen to meet you, would you say hi to him one more time for me?"

And then the mRNA was degraded.

============================================

DNA slowly woke up and saw a little protein standing by, looking at him carefully.

Protein: Hi, I am RNase.

DNA: Hi, I am DNA.

Protein: Hi.

Protein: This second Hi, is from mRNA.

DNA remembered, last time before he fell asleep, he just transcribed a mRNA, but he only said a hi before he fell asleep.

DNA: Where is the mRNA now?

Protein replied without an answer: mRNA said he missed you so much.

DNA smiled: I miss him as well.

Protein: He has already degraded.

…

Protein: But sometimes I would rather be like him.

DNA: Why?

Protein looked at DNA for seconds: Because you miss him as well.

Protein felt wet suddenly, he cried.....and the he hydrolyzed.

===========================================================

DNA finally transcribed another mRNA.

DNA: Hi. I am your template.

mRNA: Hi. I am mRNA.

DNA looked at him, softly said: You look like him, actually exactly the same.

mRNA: Who?

DNA: Oh, another mRNA I transcribed last time.

He paused and said: You two look just the same.....why......why am I still missing him so much?.....

DNA closed his eyes again...........

===========================================================

If we can only encounter each other rather than stay with each other, maybe it's better to just be an intron?

Reference:http://hi.baidu.com/salome_cfiwolf/blog/item/14b219bc062a300618d81fc2.html

15 More Days to THE DAY

Yes, I am terribly afraid of THE DAY.

So afraid that i get nightmares at times.

Out of 5 modules, I have failed 2 terribly.

This is like almost half of my modules.

I have never failed so terribly before.

I sometimes feel like crying upon seeing my scores.

What can i do to pull up my scores?

I have been doing chem exercises, hoping to pull up my scores.

I hope it works.

I need strength and courage to pull through this.

为了将来，我得拼下去。

诗云，加油！你行的！

The Big TWO ZERO

20 years of age. it has been 20 years since i arrived on earth. i am really thankful i have such great friends who never fail to forget me, or even my birthday. Especially amie and zaty, my bestest of the bestest friends. i have known them for almost 6 years and i remembered we used to quarrel to the extent of not speaking to each other for days or even weeks. Apart from the quarrels, they were the best. Never fail to cheer up my day. And once again, congratulations on being the first 2 person to wish me happy birthday, at the stroke of midnight. Although we only meet up once in a blue moon, which is super long, i appreciate the friendship and bonds we share. Through boundless boundaries, being different races and all. thank you for the wonderful secondary school days.

And not forgetting to thank my cliques (E5a6Bians), mich and tard. janice and kylie. Being in aussie, you guys still remembered. i am grateful for that. you guys brighten up my poly life :D not forgetting tard's heart-to-heart talks. Tard pls hang on. it will be over soon okay?

And of course my census colleagues, devi, anna, vong, zizah, danny, hong soon, yong ming (aka long lost pri sch friend), patricia and many many more. Although we were only colleagues for 3 months, you guys never fail to brighten and liven the boring working life at stats department :D

And again, my wonderful NUS friends, su shan, joan, kelvin, sheena, sheryl, jaclyn and seniors and OG mates and so on. thank you so much. we shall continue to strive on and jiayou for the finals next month.

And Xavier, Geeta, Frederick (SGS). thank you (:

And most of all, thank you daddy and mommy for bringing me up to where i am now. without you guys, i would never be here, to have the chance to continue my studies at NUS, especially daddy, for sacrificing, scrimping and saving just to allow me to continue my studies although its tough on you, being the solebread winner.

And today, the 2nd day of my 20 years, my tears fell. Partly because i know there are people who love and care for me, regardless of who i am. And partly because i read my sis blog. I have always regretted not being there at the last day of wake. If it wasnt for my practical, i would have skipped my lectures to just be there, in person. I didnt get to pay my last respect. AT ALL. Which i should have. Everyone was there, except me. the only niece who wasnt there. i am terribly sorry. i know you wouldnt mind. but i do. i really do. And now i wont be able to ever see you again. I pray and i hope in your next life, you would lead a healthy life, and a long life. For now, please bless your wife for i know she is hurt the most.

七七四十九天了，你终于可以回家了。。。

二伯，回家了。。。

Everything's CRAP.

CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP.

I feel like jumping down, or bang my head against the wall.

How can i ever survive this semester?

Most of my mid-term results are released back, and the moment i scroll down to my matric no, CRAP.

Heartbeat's fast, shivers down my spine etc.

Haven felt like this for a longg longg while.

I have tried my best didnt I?

No. i didnt. that was not good enough.

Imagine that fking pathetic score being my final examination score.

I would just drown myself.

Should i be contented just because my score isnt the lowest?

Isnt the lowest does not mean good enough for anything.

I didnt even reach the average score. Damn it.

sometimes, another side of me want to just give up and leave.

Personality Test (Overall quite true)

Your view on yourself:

Other people find you very interesting, but you are really hiding your true self. Your friends love you because you are a good listener. They'll probably still love you if you learn to be yourself with them.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.

The seriousness of your love:

You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.

Your views on education

Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:

You have plenty of dream jobs but have little chance of doing any of them if you don't focus on something in particular. You need to choose something and go for it to be happy and achieve success.

How do you view success:

You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:

You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.

Who is your true self:

You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

5 days to mid-terms

I feel like i am gonna breakdown any time. I know i am too pessimistic and worry too much, but i cant help it, especially when i compare myself to the rest. Maybe its the way i was brought up, or the environment that i have been in. Hearing people beside me saying "Woah, its J1/J2 work!" during lectures can be super demoralizing. Yeah, to you guys, it can seem to be so easy. But for me, a person not belonging to anywhere, not even a top polytechnic, it sends shivers down my spine. I want to be like the rest. But i simply cant. After yesterday's chatting session, I realise its either i am wayy too stressed or they are too relaxed. In one way or another, i have to admit that i am a perfectionist. I cant stand failure. What may seem good for you may not necessarily be the same to me. Damn. I think i have bottled up my feelings for too long. Maybe i should just... What if... A cry should suffice, de-stress. High expectations... what should i do? I know my dear friends in monash are feeling the same way... I wished i could fly over right now to give them a hug, to comfort them as well as myself, cause we are in the same boat. No way to go now, either do or die. By hook or by crook, i have to endure. If i can survive this semester, i will be able to survive the rest. If my mid-terms crash, i would ... go out to the world and work? Uncertainties...

1 MONTH INTO UNIVERSITY LIFE...

seriously, i have never felt so tired before. imagine having to do 3 lab reports a week, tonnes of tutorials, tonnes of tests and whatnots. this was the reason why i didnt want to enter a junior college. i have had a taste of what is it like to be in a junior college. but alas, i cant escape the fact that university life is like that too. every single day after lessons, i have to return home, eat dinner, start my tutorials/lab reports and then revise what has been taught earlier in the day. no time for anything else. to cut short, i have simply no life. my daily routine = wake up, go for lessons, return home, do tutorials and whatnots, mug, sleep. AND THIS INCLUDES MY WEEKENDS. how boring can it be. to be exact, life in RP was simply slacky. I used to worry during PP and FYP. but seriously, that is chicken feet compared to this. I am afraid i cant hang on. I am standing on a soon to be worn out rope, trying to hold on for my dear life. i always tell myself to perserve and you will reap what you sow. but to be honest, i dont even know if i can wait till then.

STACY, THIS IS THE LAST HURDLE TO OVERCOME. ONCE YOU HAVE OVERCOME, EVERYTHING WILL BE A BREEZE. ITS JUST 4 YEARS. IT WILL PASS IN A BLINK. HANG ON. DONT GIVE UP. EVERYTHING WILL BE ALRIGHT. YOUR FRIENDS WILL BE THERE TO SUPPORT YOU. JIAYOU!

NUS Science Orientation Week Part II

As usual, SOW has been fabulous, except for the fear factor part which i was totally freaked out that i pulled out of the segment. Loads of photos, both glam and unglam were taken by my seniors. I am so glad i took part in SOW!

Photo galore below :D

DAY 1

WET & DIRTY GAMES

AMAZING RACE

SENTOSA

FRESHMEN INAUGURATION 2010

RAG & FLAG DAY CUM YOG 2010

NUS Science Orientation Week Part I

Yes, I am finally back from camp! These few days was absolute fun, joy and laughters. Although I was the only poly student from my entire OG group, or maybe even OG house, I was glad that i was able to fit in. Many friends made and many bonds forged. Loads of photos taken by the seniors too. The only stressed time was during the CORS bidding session. Seriously, there were many advices given by different seniors, some of them conflicting with each other. I had to filter out and seriously think through which path i wanted to take and the consequences. Like the econs module. Out of all the faculties and modules, computing, design and the others are definitely out cause i have seriously no interest in all those. The only choice being econs. But being a poly student means a disadvantage cause i have no econs background. My RP senior warned me about it but i went ahead with it. I believe i will be able to do well as long as i make a constant effort to study. Same for Jap.

So here are the module that have been pre-allocated and the modules i plan to take:

Pre-allocated
1. LSM1101 Biochemistry of biomolecules
2. LSM1102 Molecular Genetics
3. CM1401 Chemistry for Life Sciences

To bid for
1. EC1301 Principles of Economics
2. LAJ1201 Japanese 1

WOOHOO! Photos up soon!

Upcoming events:
1. Freshmen Inauguration
2. CORS bidding part II
3. Flag Day
4. Science Orientation Week Part II
5. Rag Day
6. Registering for tutorials

AND FINALLY, LESSONS OFFICIALLY STARTS...

It's time for the audiences to leave

Friends have once again flown back to Melbourne to continue their war, whereas i will be starting my war 2 weeks from now.

Don't know if i can make it but i am gonna try anyway, to at least get a degree.

STACY! YOU CAN DO IT. ONLY 4 YEARS! JIAYOU :D

Fun, Joy & Laughter

The whole month of july has so far been a busy one, with gatherings ranging from my poly friends to my colleagues.

Friends touched down on the 2nd, went movie-ing with them, watched the eclipse which mich would drool over her jacob whenever he appears; 5km cancer run at pasir ris park; makan session at chinatown with loads and loads of singaporean food cause they missed eating them; mo

re makaning at rochor road tauhuey stall and MORE makaning at chomp chomp; and lastly singing session at civics center. After all these foodies, omg. I will have to eat lesser. Haha.

Apart from that, went sentosa with DOS colleagues, with the hot and humid weather we played captain's ball and frisbee, building sand castles, chatting under the hot sun and finally lunching at vivo's ramen ten.

The upcoming ones? OMG. There's a LOT.

1) QET on 15th

2) Friends flying back to aussie on 16th

3) SOW camp briefing in the morning, aunt's house in the afternoon on 17th

4) BBQ with DOS colleagues on 23rd

5) Registration at NUS on 26th

6) SOW camp from 28th to 6th aug (sch starts on 2nd aug)

i just realised most of them are to do with sch stuffs.

.... and more to come.

Anyways, again to my beloved friends, bon vovage, see you guys in december and dont forget our 2015 pact :D

Last Day At DOS

The day that i have waited for so long had finally arrived, but not in a way i expected it to. All because of my super high fever, its peak being 39.8 degrees. I thought the 2 days mc would suffice but alas it didnt. Instead it got so worse until i sat in the toilet floor, strength-less to even sit upright. This was the first time i got so sick, till the extent of having to visit the doc twice, with no use at all. I was so sick of swallowing so many pills, till the extent i had difficulty swallowing any other thing too. Whatever i ate came out less than an hr later, i felt so dehydrated but i could not drink. my lips teared and i was on the verge of dying. After 5 long days of torture, my mum couldnt bear to see me in this wrecked state, she brought me to the dangkee downstairs. True enough, the funeral i saw on my last of work aggravated my condition.

Anyways, all i wanna say is that i am thankful for my friends and family for their care and concern, especially my mum for wasting no time is caring for my every single needs when i was bedridden. The next paragraph is dedicated to my beloved DOS colleagues; sorry i wasnt able to prepare anything due to my state of condition that day.

SINYEE:

cant believe we have known each other for almost 4 months! if it was not for anna, being enthusiastic in making friends with you, devi and azizah, we wouldnt have talked to each other. Seriously i will miss the times where we would squeeze ard the small table during lunch time, listening to brother kueh and pat crapping and joking, joining in their laughters etc. I will always rmb the time my heels broke on the way to work and i had to walked barefooted to work, when you came to my rescue by lending me your running shoes! Haha thats so embarassing man!

anyways, thanks for bringing joyy into my working life and i will definitely miss you. last but not least, all the best for your future and meet up soon!

ANNA:

thank you for your gift! Seriously, i enjoyed the times where we would make the paper planes out of zakir's paper and throw them ard the ktv gang's side or to brother kueh's side, not forgetting the Mr Smiley and and pringles frisbee cover. That was definitely so much fun! Without all these little things to make my day, i wouldnt have survive till tday!

so, i wanna thank every single one of you for being in my life and you have left a green footprint in my life! all the best for you life and see you ard in school!

BRO KUEH aka SOON KUEH:

i wanna thank you for all your teachings, regardless of whether they are good or the crappy ones! without them, i believe out sasquatch gang will be so bored! I also enjoyed seeing you crapping your way thru during briefing with the clown and even with the FA! Stay that way okay!

last but not least, all the best for your studies and last long with your gal!

PAT:

although we haven been close to each other for long, it was really nice talking to you and sometimes riding on the same bus to work and home. You could always make "nicholas" speak up no matter how! haha. Since mixing ard with you, i noticed that he seemed to open up a bit more during our lunchtime and join in our conversation. Good job! haha.

anyways, happy working with him and i wish you all the best for you future! cheers :D

YM:

hello primary sch friend! i seriously didnt noticed that you were in the same cluster with me until syuhaida told me! haha i didint realised i was so recognizable huh? after all these years! If i didnt rmb wrongly, u are still so quiet! tsk tsk. must open up more okay! dont worry, pat will help you to speak up more! she ah lian mah! haha jkjk.

anyways, i wish you all the best in your future endeavours and see you ard!

5km = DIE

I still cannot believe i signed up for the 5km run. Seriously the furthest that i had tried was only 3.6km. Omg. Since that fateful day of clicking the confirm button, I promised to run everyday so as to build up my stamina. I hope it will work or else i can just go and die on that day. First day was at the park. Stupid me forgot to count how many rounds i ran in total. So i dont know if i reached the target 5km. But i am certain i did not. Sat and sun i didnt run cause it was sarah's birthday + papa's day. Sinful. The curry debal, sambal prawns, and pepper lunch which made me smell like food. Today - second day, skipped the park and opted for a trail from my hse all the way to sgs and back again. Half-failure cause on the way back, i thinked i stressed myself too much until my lunch came out. Dont know how far the entire route was but i hope it is near 5km. Tomorrow will be back to the park and vice versa, all the way till 4th july. To be serious, i am in doubt if i can actually finish the run.

That aside, one thing to be happy - 4 more days! To my last day of work at DOS. I cant wait for that cause after that, i would be able to "enjoy" my last 1 month of hols before actual lessons start. My july is packed with gatherings and outings and exams and medical checkups. And my money is already half gone - half to my parents, half of half i received have been spent on making my new spectacles, shopping and more shopping. Time to save for rainy days, stacy!

Where has all my pharmacology and toxicology knowledge gone?

Omg. Why didnt i realised it?

Whats the pharm and tox module for?

No wonder my gastric kept getting worse.

It all began with the morning which i drank a cup of yogurt drink...

Halfway at work, the pain came.

Felt nauseous but nothing came out.

Took medication at night, felt better.

Then the whole cycle repeats again...

Finally i couldnt take it and visited the doctor (1 day pay and med fees gone),

The main culprit - THE YOGURT DRINK.

Now, the remaining bottle of yogurt will have to stay in the refrigerator till...

Anyways, i have finally tendered.

25th june is MY LAST DAY, after which i would be busy with my QET and stuffs in preparation for uni...

STACY! JIA YOU :D

The Truth Hurts, Really...

Would you rather hear the truth and get hurt?
Or would you rather not know the truth and then get on with life as per normal?
Seriously, you are a kind person who smiles at everyone and treats everyone so good.
But, do they deserve it?
No. Not at all.
You dont know the real reason why we dont like the clique.
You dont know what they said about you.
You dont know how they imitate your laughters.
YOU DONT KNOW AT ALL.
And when we ignore them on our way home, you being the only one to say goodbye to them, you ask us why are we like that.
I wish to tell you the truth.
THE UGLY TRUTH.
But, can you take it?
I'm afraid not.
One point that polar said is definitely not wrong.
I have been to poly, whereas you were in a jc.
I have seen the world, the true colours of society.
You have not, cause you have had your comfort zone.
You might not be that filthy rich, but being a single child proves it all.
Me? You cant imagine the pain i have gone through.
Having to scrimp and save till the extent of having bread for meals.
People think i overspent. Really?
I just dont wanna go ard telling people my family has no money for meals.
Thats life.
You havent experience it; and yet you feel we are nasty to them.
BECAUSE YOU HAVENT SEEN THEIR TRUE COLOURS.

fine.
leave for all i care.
you dont have to be forced to stay because of me.
i can survive on my own.
its just a month more.
i'm a loner anyway.

Graduation 2010 ♥

Finally, it was time to leave the beautiful memories behind...

This aside, yesterday was a super duper BAD DAY for me. Early in the morning, i banged my toe against the bedside. Without knowing that it was blue-black and swollen, i squeezed them into my new wedges. On the way to work, due to the pain in my toes and the unbalanced pathway, i tripped on my wedges and fell hard on my knee, giving rise to a bloodied knee. No tissues available so i had to walk with my bloodied knee all the way to office. Thank god i have such a great bunch of colleagues who all went the extra mile to get antiseptic cream and plasters from the other department, crowded around me to see if i was okay. Then after late night dinner/supper with colleagues at suntec, i reached home and AGAIN i banged the already injured toe against the bedside, making it worse. Now, my knee keeps having pus oozing out from the wound. How bad is it? Let the below pics illustrate.

My disgusted knee.

And my big fat soon-to-be deformed last toe.

鬼压床 = Sleep Paralysis

Have you ever had this situation whereby you are already awake, but unable to move yourself? As if 鬼压床? Several minutes passed and you are still stuck, feeling extremely difficult to breathe, as if you are gonna suffocate to death? Finally, i found the answer to the above questions, thanks to my colleague.

So, why can the above situation happen?

Apparently, when someone falls asleep, they will go through different stages of sleep, one of them being the Rapid Eye Movement (REM). During REM, the release of certain neurotransmitters (norepinephrine, serotonin, histamine) is completely shut down. Thus, since the motor neurons are not stimulated, the skeletal muscles become paralysed/extremely relaxed (REM atonia). This is one of the body's defense mechanism because dreaming takes place during REM. When this happens, the person may act out the movements in the dream (e.g. sleepwalk). However, this REM antonia prevents the person from acting out the dangerous movements enacted in the dream.

The main point is...

Sometimes when we take a nap in the afternoon or are suffering from sleep deprivation, sleep paralysis occurs. So, for example, this person has taken an afternoon nap and has just fallen asleep at night. As usual, he will go through the various stages of sleep including REM. Since the sleep pattern has already been disturbed, when he "awakes", the brain has already awaken from REM, however the body paralysis still persist. And since this paralysis can persist from several seconds to several minutes, by this time, the person would have felt panicky for he is unable to move, as if 鬼压床. Moreover, since during REM, our heart rate and breathing rate are irregular, thus having a feeling that its extremely difficult to breathe.

So now i know that it isnt 鬼压床, but sleep paralysis :D

哭过就好了

哭过就好了。thats what i told myself. seriously, i am tired of all these. yes, i am tired of all the fake faces and laughters i portray myself to be. i may seem happy on the surface, there is actually something going on deep inside of me. whats the use of telling people whats the problem? its as if they are able to offer me any help. i dont want all those "oh, i am so sorry to hear about this." or "if you need any help dont hesitate to look for me." kind of thing. do you really think you can help? you are not me. you wont know how it feels when faced with such a situation. i wished i had someone to lean on. anyone will do. but no. i am all alone facing it by myself. just a friendly hug will do.

p.s i miss you snowy. if you were here now, you would laze around in my bed and i would just cuddle you and fall asleep; and everything would be okay...

A DECISION THAT MUST NOT BE REGRETTED

2 offer letters received and i have to make my decision on which one to accept. i have to weigh my pros and cons for each option and choose the best option that would benefit me (i guess).

for NUS:
can be said to be an education institution of high standard, places are limited and often very hard to get into. venue wise, quite far - near NUH. here comes the important points. i got an offer (which is my honor cause like what i have said, it is super hard to get accepted). it will benefit me cause it is a good school (thats what i think). on the other hand, since it is a good school people who get accpeted are definitely those super bright/clever kind. thus, me, yeah ME, will i be able to catch up to their paces? i am afraid my results will slip like hell and i would not be able to graduate with honors. to me, without honors, the degree is a useless thing.

okay next option.

for NTU:
standard of school not as high/good as NUS. thus its definitely easier to get accepted.venue wise, its super far (okay maybe almost the same as NUS - pioneer mrt there). on the other hand, from what i heard from the NTU talk previously, its a direct honors program which meansthat i will be guaranteed a honor degree. BUT, the science prospect here isnt as good as compared to NUS. the science programs here are so pathetic - only 1 science program, biological sciences. however, i might be able to produce good results here rather than in NUS cause basically i am used to neighbourhood school/lousy schools as what people always say/condemn. therefore in these low standards school my results are normally above average. so, if i enter NUS, a so called high class school, my above average results might seem to be average/below average kind of thing.

so, what should i do? this decision that i make may affect my future path/life. already, because my financial difficulties, i had to give up my dream of being a doctor. i dont want the same kind of situation happening to me again.

so, the main question is: SHOULD I ACCEPT THE CHALLENGE OR GO WITH THE FLOW?

THE SUPERMODEL FEEL

Graduation robe settled.
Invitation cards settled.
Heels settled.
Photoshoot settled.

What's left is my SALARY which is taking forever to be processed, more footwear cause my shoes always get soaked when it rains, more clothes including one for the graduation ceremony and a wallet cause mine is gonna burst out soon.

Anyways, photoshoot tday was quite fun. The only thing that was a little of a surprise was that I was required to write an essay abt myself which might get publicized (I don't know when and where) for I wasn't prepared for it. Mind blocked and I had to think hard before the words could flow through. Hope I did a great job and hope the photos come out nicee! Shall see when I obtain the soft copy :D

MY BELOVED BROWN PACKAGE

Yes! I have finally received the brown freshmen package from NUS.
Conditionally, I have been offered a place in Life Sciences.
But I will need to post my full results before I am guaranteed a place.
I think it will not be a problem at all cause my final gpa is way better than my 5 sem results.
One more plus point is that my financial aid for NUS has been approved!
So my dad will have lesser burden in trying to pay for my school fees.

On the other hand, my family has officially gone into a financial crisis.
What I mean by this is that we do not even have the means to have proper meals.
No allowances at all.
Plus I haven gotten my pay yet.
Plus my dad and sis also haven gotten their pay yet.
So from tmr onwards, I am gonna have to have bread for meals until my pay comes in.
Which I dont even know when.
Great huh.
Say hello to healthy bread meals till then.

Practically, not only me who almost had a collision. One of my friend too. Realized it after i read her post. Seriously, such thing can really scare people out of their lives.

As usual, i would always miss the first bus cause i come out of the house too late. Then i will have to wait like 10-15mins for the next bus. So the next bus came and it was super crowded due to the morning crowd of working ppl and students. Basically, I was kinda stuck at the back doorway. Everything was usual until suddenly, I dont know wth came cutting into the path of the bus cause i couldnt see in front of me due to the fully packed bus, the bus caption suddenly honked so loud and brake the bus soooo hard and sudden such that all those standing, including me was thrown forward toward front side of the bus. The impact was so hard resulting in chaos: people losing hold of balance, people stepping on another person's shoes/heels, people falling and stuffs. Me plus my high heels plus my heavy bag with all the workstuffs and such just lose my balance and was being pushed forward so hard that i lost my balance. However, it was fortunate that a lady standing next to me quickly held on tightly to me to prevent me from falling.

Seriously, can road commuters give way to a public bus. Hundreds of lives are at stake here. Even if you are in a rush, you dont need to cut into the path so suddenly right? Just leave the damn house earlier luh! This was one of the reason why my dad quitted as a bus driver. Within 1 month of work, he had a collision 2 times cause ppl didnt want to give way.

HAIZ. NOWADAYS HUH...

Had been working for almost half a month for ministry of trade and industry. overall experienceat work was fair enough; for the workload had been super minimal till the extent i fell asleep while working. Until yesterday, the workload started to increase as more and more respondents call in after receiving the notification letter.

However, one bad point about customer srevice is always bout the complaints. And yes, i was so unlucky to receive one the other day. She was practically howling over the phone, reprimanding my department for sending her the notification letter. Saying if it was lottery she wouldnt mine. Instead out of all the people in Singapore, she received it. Serioulsy typical Singaporean. Eh hello? Even if you dont wanna do, you dont have to scream over the phone right? I am working for the govt and of course i have got to do my job. Just bear with what i am gonna ask and just give me the damn responses and thats it. Dont need to waste each other's time by you screaming at me over the phone and me have to have the utmost patience to try and explain the entire situation and calm you down. Even so, you still didnt give in. Fuck.

After this damn call ended, my colleagues were like saying "woah! you were sooo patient over the phone!" To tell you the truth, i was super patient that day. Ask my previous colleagues where i worked at, they will tell you i dont have such good patience. Even my supervisor said my the ime i leave this job after my contract ends, i will be a pro in handling customers. Working in Macs previousy did help i guess for i had experienced such bad behaviour before, just not as bad as that damn woman.

Enough about work. Finally after about 1 week after my uncle was in to NUH for stroke/brain haemorrhage, i had the chance to visit him on sa after work. Knew my parents were going to visit him and so i asked them to wait for me. Rush after work for NUH is super far. But within 5 mins of reaching the ward, we were "chased home". He was still weak for he had to be tube-fed. Moreover, he still couldnt speak and move freely. Probably he knew we stayed far, thats why he didnt want us to waste our time to visit him. My aunt looked more cheerful for he had been in ICu for a couple of days and finally, he could be moved into the normal ward.

Life is so fragile; I still remember during the first day of CNY, he brought our family for dinner at Jurong Safra. That point of time as compared to that day i saw him, his appearance took a drastic turn. Seriously, looking at the state of him that day, my tear wanted to flow out. Had to control it from flowing.

Dear uncle, please get well soon. Take your time to recuperate. There will still be physiotherapy after your health improves. Dont rush to want to move your limbs. You will get there. Think of your family and your graddaughter who is only a few months old. Jiayou :D

MY DAY SUCKS LIKE HELL!

EARLY IN THE MORNING WHILE ON THE WAY TO WORK, HEELS BROKE.

NO TIME TO GO HOME SO HAD TO WAIT FOR LUNCH BREAK TO GRAB ANOTHER PAIR.

THE DAMN BUS WAS SO SLOW TIL I HAD TO RUN ALL THE WAY TO MY OFFICE CAUSE I WAS ALREADY LATE.

THUS, MY LUNCH WAS TOTALLY FORGONE.

ON THE WAY HOME, THE DAMN RAIN CAME AND MY HSE HAD NO SHELTER.

CALLED MUM TO BRING UMBRELLA BUT SHE COULDNT.

HAD TO WALK THE ALL WAY HOME DRENCHED AND SOAKED.

MY ENTIRE FAMILY'S IN THE HOSP.

I THINK MY UNCLE'S CONDITION HAD WORSEN.

THEY DIDNT TELL ME ANYTHING.

I DIDNT EVEN HAD THE CHANCE TO GO VISIT HIM DUE TO MY WORK.

IS HE GONNA BE ALRIGHT?

PLEASE GOD, BLESS HIM, LET HIM AWAKE FROM SLEEP.

STOP THE BRAIN HAEMORRHAGE.

GOD DAMN IT.

F.

I officially started my first day of work cum training.

Sat in the meeting room from 0845 all the way to 1600 listening to the trainers talking about the various theories and SOPs that we need to know.

Was half-dozing when the trainers went on and on blabbling.

Finally, practical training tomorrow and start of operations.

On the other hand, damn leo. password expired and i cant enter leo. didnt allow me to create new password then how the hell am i gonna enter leo to check my results? damn damn damn.

There was this scene:

My heart was torn into pieces. I suddenly regretted not spending more time with him. My father. I had no reason why and how it happened. The news just came, throwing the entire family into chaos. My father, the sole breadwinner was gone. Just like that. He was here yesterday and suddenly, we lost him. I cried heavily. So heavily that I forgot how much pain I was in. I just couldn’t believe it. Why was it him? Why?
And then, I saw the ceiling. Unsure of whether what happened was of reality, I thought hard. Reality came back. It was just a dream. Although it was not the real thing, it stroked me hard. I shouldn’t be taking everything for granted. This person may be here today, but anything can happen the next moment. And when it really does, there’s no point regretting. I think if I dreamt this in aussie, I would probably feel homesick.

Anyways, hospital laboratory tours had ended today. TTSH was totally TLA. Like a factory. But I think I would prefer working in KK. It was a pity I didn’t had the chance to go to the histopathology side today ):

And yesssssss! I officially start work on the 8th of march. Until I enter uni (hopefully). Hope it will be a memorable experience.

So jiayou jiayou jiayou :D

Friends have flown to monash.
Dearest saretta, kylie and adele, get adapted to life in aussie; and come back with flying colours on your exam scripts k?
See you guys 9 months from now and love you guys many many :D

LAST day of ut
LAST day of school
LAST day in RP
LAST day of poly life

Am I ready to move on?

Application to NUS/NTU done. I had always wanted to enter NUS. But now, I am unsure of my decision. I am afraid I will regret my decision. I always do. Shall put this aside till the postings are out. No point dwelling upon it anyway.

Meanwhile, my choices are just plain dumb/weird, whatever you can call it. Seriously there is so little science course which I can fill up my 5 choices. So, I just practically dumped any other choices, hoping I wouldn’t be so unlucky to land upon those choices. Here go my choices.

NUS:
1) Science (Life Sciences)
2) Pharmacy (NUS)
3) Nursing (NUS)
4) Science (Chemistry)
5) Business Administration

NTU:
1) Biological Sciences
2) Biomedical Sciences and Chinese Medicine
3) Psychology
4) Accountancy
5) Business

Good luck on my posting results then ):

On the other hand, the laboratory tour to KK hospital was fantastic. Especially the histopathology department. I actually had the chance to see a real placenta. A twin placenta in fact. The medical technologist was like explaining the different parts of the placenta and such. But the smell of the formalin and alcohol could be a little overwhelming at times. I also went to departments like the microbiology, molecular microbiology, biochemistry and haematology departments and had the chance to experiment and view many different specimens. Quite excited about the remaining 2 hospital laboratory tours on the 22nd and 23rd of feb :D

Application to NUS/NTU starts today. After going for the NTU talks on Saturday, I’m unsure of my decisions. Maybe it’s because of NUS not giving us any talks about the various courses and opportunities available to us. For NTU, 4 years straight for a bachelors with honours degree regardless of academic achievements. For NUS, if I’m not wrong, 3 years for a bachelors degree. If results are outstanding then you can continue the 4th year to get an honours. How how how how how? Have a total of 5 choices but can I just fill in 1? Seriously, there’s like nothing for me to apply. Have an urge to apply today but haven gotten my transcript when I requested from OSC yet.

And yes, I am sick and tired of med tech module such that regardless of my multiple Cs I get from class; I decided to skip this last lesson. Deliberating whether to skip Thursday’s lesson. Friday’s lesson is a confirm skip cause I am going to KK hospital for the lab tour. Hopefully I can have a temp job at one of the hospitals which I will be kept busy visiting and touring throughout the whole of February.

Suddenly, I am thinking whether to continue in the field of science. Should I list down Science (Education) as one of the choices?

NUS or NTU?

Suddenly I realised that I have so many "last" in 2010.

Last day of work tmr.
Last 6 days to end of year 3 lessons.
Last 11 days to end of year 3 uts and poly life.
Last 15 days before my friends fly off to monash.

And its back to new beginnings for everyone...

My Quote For The Day:

Life's like this.
You can never be content with what you have.
But due to certain circumstances, even if you are not content, you have to be.

I sort of got things a little sorted out after a long chat with tard over msn.
We poured our so-called sorrows to one another and it just felt great letting my steam out.
Although it was just a random chat, heartfelt words were exchanged with each other and these made my heart feel warm.
Didn’t realised I have such a great friend to drown my sorrows in.
Feel sad thou cause you are leaving in less than 1 month's time.
Unsure if I am able to send you off that day but rest assured we will continue to keep in touch and last but not least, bon voyage (too early to say I think?)

Anyways, went for the dbms graduate networking session with mich and ili after lessons.
Met fg and ben.
Heard from fg about the usual stuffs again.
Seriously, there is no point in appealing.
It’s not gonna change anything.
I have tried appealing last semester with a longggg essay and it didn’t work at all.
Just take it as a lesson learnt for now you knew how I felt when I was in your shoes.

This aside, fg told me to get testimonial for application to uni.
The only person I could think of was ML.
She left the deepest impression in me and i really enjoyed her lessons.
Hope she will be able to help me with the testimonial.

Just some random stuffs again.
If i really get accepted into NTU, that is IF, i think i should accept?
Rather study there than having no uni to go to?
God, pls NUS give me some tint of hope will you?
I am just 0.05 points away from your doors.
That aside, if i do get the ICA temp job, i can just quit my tutoring job. its damn tiring

OK. Enough said for the day.
Good night and sweet dreams (I wish)

Everyone has their future route planned out for them. Some are pursuing their degrees in monash, some in local uni, some going out to work, some entering NS. What about me? My road in front seems so dark and blurred... I used to have ambitions throughout my growing years. Different ones though...

My ambitions:
1. Teacher (during my primary school days). However, my views changed after I saw how students treat their teachers
2. Veterinarian (during secondary school days). However, my hope dashed the moment I lost the chance to study veterinary technology in TP
3. Doctor (poly life). Again, my hope dashed the moment I dropped out of IPBMS due to financial difficulties

Now, 1 month plus to graduation, I am faced with similar difficulties. Unsure of which route to take; some route closed for me...

Routes for me:
1. Going to monash to get my bachaloer degree and then become a doctor (Yep, dashed. Read the above)
2. Going to local uni (NUS to study science/medicine --> possible? Maybe not) (NTU? Not preferred choice)
3. Private uni (money money money)
4. Going out to work (as med tech? Unsure)

Great. One more month to ponder about. Or else I can just go and die.