Old friends

我喜欢我的老朋友们，因为再怎么样跟他们在一起我舒服的

可以有哪句就说哪句

可以用心来对待

或许我对他们还蛮冷血的

但是，我是真的很珍惜我的老朋友们

kampung, teng mao, bb, kolok, min min, ninja pot.

不管多久以后再见

还是可以说很多话，玩在一起。

或许是我的问题， 我找不到可以让我这样的朋友了
所以，很庆幸我有一班老朋友

^^

I am happy for all of you! ^^

long week

this week feels super long...

and i got a smack on my head as everything is hard...
and i forgot my maths...lol

back to form 4 and 5...

sure needs more grace.

2nd day of school

purposely use school instead of campus... Reality is harsh, that hits me a lot when I am here...
I was well protected when I am back in M'sia. haha, everything was so fine there and easy.

Here, you are all alone and you can only depend on yourself most of the time.
Friends? They can't do much too...

I'm not emo anymore, because being emo is useless... yes it is expensive, yes i felt burdened..
but, i am here... and it will be a little too late to change now...

what i can do is to fulfill my responsibility and just do what i have to do.
Solutions will come as time goes by....and I always have the Lord as long as I am willing to turn back.

I'm fine and I will continue to be fine.

I'm fine here

Today is the 6th day I'm here. I'm fine overall, just had a little emotion disturbance on the 1st night...
after reading blogs and cards...plus unpacking those stuff i used in Miri...
aish... plus i was super tired. XD
So it's understandable....

Now i'm adapting quite well, didn't went to the Lord's day meeting but met the saints at night.
Was glad that there are saints here.
Although there are still strangers to me, but there is Lord in everyone of them.

I'll be fine here, so everyone of you reading. Please be fine for my sake too. ^^

21st feb

Good bye everyone. Its not a big deal leaving, I know. But I don't know, this is the 1st time me feeling like this when leaving...

In these 4 years outside of Miri, never once I felt like crying...

but i cried this time, not sure of the reason..maybe there is a lot..
maybe i am scared of flying so far alone since my dad was there when i 1st went to kl...

maybe kl wasn't that far...maybe because this is the 1st time going overseas for so long and alone..

maybe there is too many gatherings this time... with ppl that made me hesitant to leave...

Thanks for all the gifts and cards. They made me cry....
Thanks for coming to the airport, it almost made me cry. hahaha

luckily i didn't though, luckily i didnt. ^^

Wish you all a blessed year.

friday

left 9 days...

not much time left.

feeling bad..should not be so greedy

should not say so much after all this time.

about leaving

There are things that make me want to leave as soon as possible, but at the same time

there is a person that make me feel like staying longer...

if I can, I would leave everything behind...

if I can, I may not come back at all.

if I can, I want to be without family.

Sounds selfish.. but this is what I want at the moment.

I'll be free but poor. lol

2011/2/9

12 days left before I am leaving Miri.

Went to dentist for some checkup today. My teeth was fine so the doc just did scaling and polishing for me. She is much better than the one in SS15, at least it didn't hurt and bleed that much this time.

Before going in, I saw ppl that I don't want to see. I was surprised when i saw them, well only a glance actually...never look directly at the faces..

just treat them as invisible...

But my heart was beating faster and if I have had a car, I will go out and just go home. Fight or flight response....if I can, most probably is flight...

Of course because I can't...then... just pretend they are invisible.

Sigh

blog

I've lost the feeling to blog, lol...

not sure how to blog and what to write anymore..

might pick the feeling back if i write more?

But can't think of anything to write.

Today went for bible reading and its fun.

The fun part is because i get to bully a baby, kids are nice to play with when they are still small.

Cute little Yang Yi.. lol

and she is super light...

Will miss Miri i suppose...

will miss my room and the environment. Will miss studying in Taylor's? maybe

Will miss the ppl here.

Especially a pig. XD

^^

CNY of 2011

Will be away from Miri this cny...not because of studies but because of travelling.

This should be the 1st time.

Hmm, anyway, happy CNY guys. Enjoy your holidays and time with family and friends, it really is precious.

^^

finally

Finally back in Miri

But will be away again after 5 days...lol

Seoul trip was nice, except it was cold.

Will definitely enjoy it more if it isn't that cold.

Its still a nice experience no matter what.

You'll be in my heart - Phil Collins

Come stop your crying

It will be all right

Just take my hand Hold it tight

I will protect you

from all around you

I will be here

Don't you cry

For one so small,

you seem so strong

My arms will hold you,

keep you safe and warm

This bond between us

Can't be broken

I will be here

Don't you cry

'Cause you'll be in my heart

Yes, you'll be in my heart

From this day on

Now and forever more

You'll be in my heart

No matter what they say

You'll be here in my heart, always

Why can't they understand

the way we feel

They just don't trust

what they can't explain

I know we're different but,

deep inside us

We're not that different at all

And you'll be in my heart
Yes, you'll be in my heart
From this day on
Now and forever more

Don't listen to them
'Cause what do they know
We need each other,
to have, to hold
They'll see in time
I know

When destiny calls you
You must be strong
I may not be with you
But you've got to hold on
They'll see in time
I know
We'll show them together

Cause you'll be in my heart
Believe me, you'll be in my heart
I'll be there , From this day on,
Now and forever

Oh, you'll be in my heart, you'll be here in my heart
No matter what they say, I'll be with you
You'll be here in my heart, I'll be there always
Always

I'll be with you

I'll be there for you always, always and always

Just look over your shoulder

Just look over your shoulder

Just look over your shoulder

I'll be there, always

Sorry

Sorry if anything I said and do upsets you.

I am sorry, I shouldn't have been so heated up and talk so loud.

Sorry for my bad temper, sorry for my impatience.

Sorry if I made you feel stressed in this kind of time, when you are already under pressure.

I am very sorry for can't do anything to help you, didn't lower your pressure but then increased it.

I am sorry.

20-23th Dec 2010

Went to sg with MN and Rebecca. Was not bad and comfortable, but sorry to Rebecca as she was like a sandwich meat stuck between 2 bread.

kolian de Rebecca.

Went to a apartment of the saint named Sis Debby and found a piano that someone wont play no matter what. Sigh

Then had dinner with her family which includes Bro Gan. Praise the Lord for the dinner provided.

After the dinner they start talking about how and what should we do when getting to US... a very long conversation indeed. After that we went to Sis Tracy's apartment since she provides us a place to sleep.

Anyway, went to Universal Studio the 2nd day and the size is well nice, small and can be done within a day if you want to play all the rides.

But i wasn't in the mood since there is only 3 of us and one saying she wont go on any from the start. sigh~

So I decided to walk along too..leaving Rebecca taking the mummy ride alone... sorry again.

I walk and took pics along the way. Then someone said 'Don't mind me, I can walk alone.'

So i left, and walk around alone too. The 1st place i reached is Far far away~

The music was just right when i walked in, felt like i was in far far away too. Then i saw someone wearing ogre ears and think that would be cute. But of course i didn't get any ogre ear...That's just not alice. hahaha

Didn't walk too far away and decided to walk back, and saw MN and Rebecca walking together so swoop in to the shop before I walk out again. When meet up with them later, Rebecca told me they want to take a ride. Which certainly surprised me since I don't have any thought to take any ride anymore.

So went on a long around 45 minutes queue and sat on the ride. Its not scary like I thought it would be... it's fun. Coming down regretting telling someone that I was scared ( with a little intention to comfort her), and i became the funny material of the day. aish

Then 4D movie of Shrek with water spitting and a wire under your leg... Its fun. XD

Went around for souvenirs and taking pics...but still not much pic was taken.

Rebecca went back the 3rd day. Leaving us shopping around...well not shopping, window shopping.

Nothing was cheap and a lot of stuff that can't be afforded. Guchi, Chanel, LV, Hermes you name it and you got it in Orchard. I sat in all their sofas....went in the shop just for their sofas...lol

owh, and a lot of Longchamp along the road...

I guess that's about it.

Happy new year. ^^

3-20 Dec 2010 (^^)

It was shocking er... I mean surprising to see a pig in the training although I knew she is there and she always give me a feeling of distance whenever we met after a while.

Then the small things and small argument about something very minor will come about every once in a while... hahaha...childish

so 18 days full of argument and funny stuffs. Have you seen a person that cried for memorizing the footnotes and not able to present it? Well I did.

But didn't cry after seeing her results when I expect that she would. Interesting.... so shouldn't have expectations again.

Thanks for refilling my water most of the time. =)

Sorry for the childish acts. =(

3-20 Dec 2010

Went to JB for perfecting training. It was very lenient to what I have heard from other sisters. I suppose its because it's the shortest training ever.

I didn't have the slightest regret joining the training although that cause me to just ignore the supplement exam that i should be taking. But it's my choice for not taking so it doesn't really count as a sacrifice or something. It only meant that I didn't do my best to at least passed my physio... lol

What I've gained most from the training is that I've learn't to let go. If I don't, then the Lord will have to and life without the Lord is pity beyond imagination. So i let go of my past... even so, i still have lessons to learn about letting go. Especially letting go 'self'... scarily strong self, I suppose a lot of us think of that too.. It will only be Lord's mercy if I can really let go of my 'self'.. May the Lord have abundant mercy to everyone of us.

6.15 wake up, 7 contact the Lord, 8.10 breakfast.. 3 words- Training is good. XD

Going out to preach the gospel with companions is not as hard as I think, as long as there is companions and the Lord of course. There will be 'I am busy' fish, 'I am Buddhist' fish but they still listen when you talk. Sometimes 'I am Christian' fish won't listen when you expect that they will. lol

So no self preference, no expectation and no presumption is applicable here.

O Lord Jesus, I love You.