Late last night (or really, really early this morning), I had cause to think of a few things for which I am profoundly grateful.
-The power of the priesthood
-Promptings of the Spirit
-A car with gas, ready to go
-A loving Heavenly Father who blessed me with green lights, and no police officers
-Top-notch medical care at our disposal
-An amazing husband to stay home with our amazing son
-Kind medical professionals who help a frantic mother feel at ease
-A beautiful, happy little girl
Campbell has been sick with a cold, and for the past couple of days I could tell she was starting to get croupy. Nothing we haven't dealt with before. I knew the drill. If the coughing got too bad at night, just bundle her up and take her outside, or turn the shower on HOT and sit in the steam in the bathroom. I didn't like the sound of her breathing before she went to bed, and watched her chest to make sure she wasn't sucking for air. She looked okay, and I prayed I would know if/when I needed to worry. We all went to sleep.
Shortly after midnight, I heard Campbell wake up crying, and I waited for a minute to see if she needed me to go in and get her. She quickly started crying in a panicked manner, and I went in to see what was wrong. She was coughing and crying, and sounded HORRID! I looked into her little eyes, and she looked scared. I immediately felt, "She can't breathe. Take her in now." I told Brock that I thought she couldn't breathe, and handed him to her as he started the water in the shower. I threw some clothes on, and he put her in her car seat. I asked him to give her a blessing before we flew out the door.
I shortly debated whether to take her to Lakeview, or spend the few extra minutes to drive to Primary Children's. It was a short debate, since I have full confidence in the doctor's at PCMC, and little-to-no confidence in Lakeview (no offense for those of you who go there. Just bad experiences on my part.) We got there in great time, and were admitted. She was checked out by 3 nurses, and 3 doctors, none of whom liked the sound of her breathing. Thankfully, her oxygen saturation was still in the acceptable range, and that eased my mind. They had me hold cold mist in front of her little mouth for 2 hours, and gave her some steroids to open her airway. After being there for 2.5 hours, she sounded good enough to go home (even though she still had a noticeable stridor). They gave us a prescription to give her another dose of steroid tonight, and sent us on our way.
On the drive home, I finally was able to relax, and felt such a deep sense of gratitude to my Father in Heaven. I know croup is not really life-threatening, but when your child can't breathe, it seems pretty life-threatening at the time. I don't think I have ever been so terrified in my entire life. Just to see the look in her eyes, and know she felt scared about what was going on in her tiny body pushed some sort of mommy button in mine.
I know there are many people who lose children, and have to deal with things so much more serious than I ever have. I am so, so, so grateful that that has not been the case with me, or my kids. I hope and pray it never is.