Leaning into Joy

     A typical [school] day for our house goes something like this, Mike is up at 4:30, lately I've been trying to squeeze in a few extra minutes and sleep until a little before 5 while he's getting ready and then we study our scriptures for an hour. The house is quiet, the kids most days are still soundly sleeping. No interruptions, just time to study and talk and start out the day with the most important thing. Mike leaves just after 6 to teach seminary.

   [I personally think Mike is incredible with the youth. He loves them so much, he loves the scriptures so much and he loves teaching so it's the ideal calling for him really. It certainly is time consuming and tests him daily. Some mornings he'll call right after seminary saying, I don't think they care, I don't think anyone listens, someone else would probably be better for them. I give the best advice I can and laugh after he gets off the phone because it's like motherhood. I love that he gets a little glimpse of motherhood each morning!] 

     Today, after Mike left I started making eggs for the kids. Kade was super concerned about his state testing and part of the advice from NED was to eat a good breakfast so we couldn't let him down. Kids get up about 6:20, we eat breakfast, pack lunches, do hair, brush teeth, load backpacks and are out the door for the bus by 6:50. It's a very rare day that the little boys are still asleep past bus time. I count an extra blessing on the days that happens which just so happened to be today! I run downstairs for a quick workout and ride the bike for about 20 minutes and read a book while I ride. I don't read very often, I love to read but feel like there's never time for it. There's a book I've been wanting to read lately so I decided I'd make it work somehow. It's a win win cause it encourages me to actually ride the bike and babies are still asleep (today) so I don't feel like I'm neglecting anyone! 

     Back to the kitchen for round 2 with the little boys. They eat while I clean the kitchen, unload dishes, sweep for the 1st of about 5 times in a day. Today I'm on my A game and the house was basically cleaned up and ready by 8:30. (Yes, I'm aware that baskets of toys will get dumped out everywhere and I'll clean up again several times but I'm weird like that and like to start with a clean house.) I get a few more chores done, laundry started and taxes filed! We invite Wes to the water park with us and we're out of the house heading for the water park for their 11am opening. 

     I write about this typical day because I felt SO much joy all day and then it got me thinking...

   There have been so many of those moments where life just feels so so sweet. There's been nothing too extraordinary, just the basics but some days I just love the basics! I'm a Mom. That's kinda how life goes. Some days I feel like a million bucks other days I feel like the cleaning lady. In either situation, it's all apart of being a Mom and I feel so blessed to be able to stay home with my children. When I take a few hours out of the day to take the kids to the water park I battle the thoughts of, I should be cleaning house, I should be grocery shopping or paying bills but actually, no, my children are my work also. "They are not a distraction from other work, they are the most important work!"
     Some days life feels too "perfect" and I'm just sure that something bad is about to happen. Generally the bad thing that I think will happen has something to do with someones health because that seems like the most likely possibility. It's totally irrational but sometimes those thoughts just come creeping in. They sound something like this for me: Life is too good. You're too happy. It's not supposed to be this easy. This is just prep for something bad that is coming. You're getting a glimpse of heaven on earth because it won't always be this way. On and on.
    A few months back I read the book "The Power of Vulnerability" by Brene Brown and man did I love it! I loved it for so many reasons but she described what she called "leaning into joy." I won't do it justice but I remember one of my favorites parts like this, she set up this scene: A family just spent Christmas Eve with extended family. Dinner, gift exchange, laughing, just the most fantastic evening. The family gets into the car to drive home, they're singing Christmas Carols together and the Mom turns around to look at her family and is SO happy, they had such a fun time together, it's Christmas Eve, everyone is happy, this moment is perfect...Then she asks, What happens next? If you're like me, the answer without a doubt was 'car wreck'. But WHY??? Anytime things seem so good, why do we have to ruin it with a bad thought? This is SO me. I wouldn't say I live in fear, I don't describe myself as a pessimist but sometimes life seems so good that there's got to be something bad coming, right?
Wrong. She talks about "leaning into the joy," letting the good things happen. Don't ruin it with a bad thought. So this is where I am. I'm working on leaning in.
   There are SO many moments in my life where I feel overwhelmed with the sweetest feelings, I feel incredibly happy, extremely blessed,  I feel like life is perfect and it is easy and I couldn't possible love my children any more and I'm still madly in love with my husband. I feel so blessed to be a Mom, a Mom who gets to stay home and witness all the firsts and the funny learning moments and take my kids to the park or to get a happy meal if I feel like it. All these moments I feel overwhelmed with joy and sometimes I even fight back tears of extreme happiness. I'm incredibly blessed. It's everyday life but it feels so good! And guess what? That's part of the plan. Our Heavenly Father has a plan for each and every one of us and it's not called the plan of happiness for no reason. It's ok to be happy all the time. It's ok to feel extreme amounts of joy on a daily basis, and it doesn't have to mean something bad is coming. "The plan" was designed for happiness. We've been given a road map, the scriptures, we have commandments and Prophets. We weren't put on this earth to figure it out on our own. I truly believe that as we follow the guidance and counsel we've been given, we will feel happy.
   Now that's not to say that there are no bad days, hard things, tears, trials and days I want to "clock out" 15 minutes after the kids get off the bus because the fighting hasn't stopped. Bad things, sad things and hard things happen but not because I felt too happy last week that I need a trial to even out the score. The Lord has a perfect plan that I trust in completely. Everything happens for a reason and I truly believe that I need all my life experiences to learn and grow from. He's completely aware of me and what I need and so because of that, I'm going to LEAN IN!
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Just a few of the moments that I look back on and feel like my heart may burst. That's probably the reason I take SO many pictures of the random, everyday things. I don't want to forget the way any of it made me feel.

 This snow day was complete perfection! A day we were all "stuck" in together and we didn't have to worry about getting to chores or things we "should" be doing.

Baking the snow day away. Our kitchen is always busy! 

        This dreamer who posed herself for dance pictures

               Donut run because they asked and I love saying yes!

                 Mike training his bird dog

                       3rd Grade Field trip

                                 Easter Sunday April 2017

Little Miss Sunshine

From the moment she was born we just knew she was Little Miss Sunshine. She brings happiness and the biggest smile to every situation. She's a peacemaker. She's kind. Her heart might be pure gold. She's a dreamer. She dreams of ballet. She dreams of singing. She NEVER stops making noise wether it be singing or humming. She knows when you're feeling sad, sick or just plain having a bad day and when that happens there is always, ALWAYS and offer to do a dance. "Can I do a dance for you?" is probably the most common phrase from her. Dancing makes her happy so it should make YOU happy. She still gives out hugs and kisses at random. Bree is just plain happy. We love this girl to pieces. She never had the terrible two's or any age for that matter. She's easy. I'm sure teenage years I'll be singing a different song.

Bree says more funny things than any of our children. She truly is a blonde, and not just hair color. That makes Mike & I laugh but also ask ourselves, should we be worried? Every boy seems to love the blonde! HaHa

Bree came home from school February 1st SO excited and said to me, Mom, tomorrow is Otter's Day! It took me a moment to run through what the heck she might be talking about and then it dawned on me- OH! No Bree. It's Groundhogs Day! I laughed SO hard. Every Holiday is a big thing for this little girl so she wanted to go all out and make a craft for the big day. Even I got excited about Groundhog's day just listening to her. Later that evening, Bree looked like she had a spark of genius hit her and she said, "OH I KNOW! Let's make a cookie dough filled cookie!!!" I couldn't handle myself and I laughed until tears were streaming down my face. I don't know what got into me but her excitement level was through the roof. It was like she put her entire heart and soul into this idea and it was funny and adorable to me. Mike kept giving me the look like, you mean Mother, stop laughing. But I couldn't. After I assured her that you will never put dough into the oven and take it out when it won't be a baked cookie she thought of a plan. "You can make a hole in the bottom of the cookie and stuff it with dough." True. You could do that. Maybe you're onto something Bree. 

Valentine's day was another holiday she could't wait for. She worked on her Valentine's for a long time before the big day. We put final touches on the night before. She made sure each card matched exactly what she'd want to say to that person. She took every saying to heart. What if they actually call me!? She even wrote I Love You on a little boys card. I should be worried but she's not boy crazy yet so I was ok with it. I thought it was adorable. What a lucky little boy to get that message from a little cutie! She wore her new Valentine shirt that Grandma sent. She knew everyone in her class was going to LOVE it and want to touch it. We did our best at heart hair and we sent her off to school SO excited. I can't even say how much I love her. She's so refreshing. She's fun and loves life. She's the girl you'll always want around because not only is she kind, she's fun and happy and positive and always looking to make others happy. She doesn't care what people think about her. She dresses how she wants and doesn't care about matching. I love that about her. She truly marches to the beat of her own little happy drum. 

I'm Baaack!

      This is it. This is me starting over on the whole blog thing. For Christmas Mike printed my blog and I loved it SO much. I loved reading over some of the most random things and reliving so many of those Florida moments. Since we left Florida I've been terrible at documenting anything on the blog. In Florida, most everyone I loved was across the country so I loved keeping them updated. After moving closer to family I didn't feel the need to document like I had before because it seemed like they knew everything that was going on. It wasn't like I quit cold turkey and missed life's moments altogether. I have a journal for me, one for Mike & I together and one for each of the kids. I'm a documenter. I want to remember every moment. I love it. I was trying to record so many things in so many different ways that I wasn't doing a great job at any of them. I've decided to relight the fire here mostly for the thoughts and words I want my children to be able to read one day. I hope that each of them can take something different from each experience and learn from it. Learn from my mistakes, our mistakes, the things we think we have figured out and the things we certainly don't. I'm going to lay it all out there. I'll give them what they may not think is fun to hear but may appreciate one day. They love reading the things I've written about them as babies. They think their baby years are so funny. Honestly, I had forgotten about many of those deviant baby moments. Here's to all those moments. Baby moments, growing moments, dumb moments, happy moments and fun moments.  Here it is, so I don't forget a thing. Words for my babies. Blog, take two.

Newport Beach, CA. November 23 2016                                   SLC Temple December 30th, 2016

             

Kansas City Marathon

                       October 2014
 Can I just say that I'm already itching to get back out running again! The debate in my mind is wether I'm going to run the Marathon Relay again or just do the half. I think running is most fun with a partner and I've already been turned down for the Marathon. I'm sure I can get a partner or two with the other options.
     October 18th, 2014, I ran in the Kansas City Marathon Team Relay. The story of how it all came to pass...
     It was a year prior & I had seen signs downtown on the Plaza about the Marathon. It had been the past weekend but totally caught my eye because it was held on a Saturday and that's not very common. I immediately went home & looked up the date for the 2014 run and sure enough, it was going to be Saturday! General Conference had been a few weeks prior and I was now re-reading conference talks. I read, "The Strength to Endure" By Richard J. Maynes. I'm always up for a good challenge and I like to set goals, so naturally, while reading this talk the idea hits me! I'm going to train for a marathon. Then, by the end of the talk I get an even better idea! At this point, I'm so excited that I think I may have jumped up & down & clapped. A lot. I tell Mike & I literally think he thought I was crazy, but, he smiled and laughed and wasn't a dream killer. He told me to do it. That evening I had appointments set up to go visiting teaching and I couldn't contain my excitement! I know the ladies are going to think I've gone mad but I seriously doubt they'll turn me down. What's there to lose? While visiting teaching, I share the message (from The Strength to Endure) and then- Boom. I say something like, So, I'd like to issue you a challenge. I want to train for the KC Marathon but thought it would be fun if we could all do it together. Will you run the KC Marathon with me? I've looked it up and they have a relay so we can all split up the 26.2 miles. The challenge is that, for as much time as your spend physically training, I want you to spend that same amount of time spiritually training as well.  I know this isn't going to be easy for any of us but I know we can do it and it will be so much fun to have this goal and achieve it together. Together it is a very attainable goal. And then, the blank stare. Katie Smith chuckled & I think was waiting for me to say, just kidding! After her, I'm not a runner & me reassuring her that I'm not either & not letting up, she became excited and jumped right on board. I told them all that I didn't care about the time, I only have a goal to finish. I don't even care if you walk the whole thing. Vivian Kirk was shocked and nervous but game. You could have up to 5 team members and at this point I had 3. Lauren Millward was next. She took the most convincing and actually Cyndi Eshenroder, my companion said she would do it while we were talking to Lauren and that made 4 so Lauren may have felt a little pressured now that everyone had said yes and I'm now staring at her. But, done & done. I set up "Team Endure" for the KC Marathon that night. In theory, there was plenty of time to prepare.
     Long story short, I trained "really well" until we left for the Andersen Family Reunion in July. I did terrible on vacation. I worked out 1 day, maybe 2. Woops. Deep down I wasn't too worried because there were still nearly 3 months left. After returning from vacation I felt so sick. The kids had been sick the last few days of vacation so I figured it was now my turn. Theirs was quick. Mine was not. I kept feeling worse & worse. Then I got to the point where I felt like I must have an ovarian cyst or two. I totally felt like I was pregnant. Exhausted, sick, weird cravings for toast & Cheez-its late at night, and many other pregnancy things. It honestly hadn't registered to me for even a split second that I may have actually been pregnant. So I call & set up an appointment to see my OB about my really annoying ovarian cysts. And then. A story for another time!
    I obviously came away from that appointment with a HUGE surprise and my first thought was that I had to get running because October would be here before I knew it. And I told Mike, I'm not telling anyone until 20 weeks. August was brutal. I don't think I ran 1 day. September, I forced myself up & out of the house as often as I could. I didn't get feeling better until I was 20 weeks (which was the week of the run). I ran & worked out very sporadically September.  The last week of September, I knew it was crunch time so I really picked it up. And by really picked it up, I mean, I was only running about 4 miles 3-4 days. It was hard to get out but during a run I always felt great. My hips & feet hurt a little extra, but that may have been my long overdue, need for a new pair of running shoes. A couple weeks before the run I got in one of my "long runs." Yeah, only 7 miles. It was all I could hack. And mid run, I may or may not have had to stop at a few trees. Mike about died when I told him. Hey, a pregnant ladys gotta do what a pregnant ladys gotta do, right? At this point, I was starting to feel a little better pregnancy wise. The week before the run I got a sinus infection & felt terrible all over again. I couldn't breathe equals I couldn't sleep equals I was straight up miserable. I tried everything. For a few nights, I even slept sitting up. I slept better than I had been sleeping until my hips and back would start hurting. Oh, the drama.  I sound like a big ol' baby!  OH, I just got a flashback of a comment Bree said one morning on our run. "Mom, are you okay, cause that noise you're making sounds like a dog!" I literally was panting so hard. The glorious KC heat & humidity on top of the fact that I couldn't breath. This day in particular I was running lots of hills and the kids felt like they must have weighed 100 pounds. Ha. It was a bad combination. Mike kept telling me I needed to trade someone & run the shortest distance. He's always super encouraging but must have seen how lame my runs were. He's my biggest supporter and #1 fan, and because he's actually saying something not encouraging, I'm getting nervous. For real. I'm getting nervous because my training had been a joke. I was always so embarrassed when the other girls would ask how the running was going! I start psyching myself out. If Mike thinks I can't do it, then I probably can't do it. (Not that he thinks I can't do it but that it would be smarter to choose something a bit easier). But, I am not going to switch the week of the run! (I need to work on the pride).

     The week of the run...Tuesday, I had an appointment with my OB and I told her how miserable I was but that I was mostly concerned because the run was Saturday. She wrote me a prescription for an antibiotic & told me I'd be feeling like a million bucks come Saturday. Friday was packet pick up. That evening we all got together for some "carbo loading" and race prep. I had matching shirts made that said "Team Endure" with our last name on the back. I added, "slow but running for two" to mine and it doubled as my, I'm pregnant announcement. We arranged how Saturday would play out. Wished each other luck & prayed we'd get some decent sleep that night.
    Saturday morning we met up at 5:30 then headed downtown.
    Side note. Two of our original team members aren't running. Katie moved away to Washington D.C. and started a rockin' new job with the senate budget committee. She planned on coming back but by the time October rolled around she was pretty overwhelmed with the new job & getting back was going to be tough. Charlene Benbrook took her place. Cyndi had worked her little fanny off and started training in January. When it was freezing outside with snow on the ground, she was walking 2 miles and I was not even thinking about it. She lost 20 pounds and had slowly been improving her time. Seriously, she is a rock star and I think the world of her and her dedication. We found out you had to keep a 12 minute mile pace and Cyndi was concerned that because of her time we'd get kicked off the course and not get to finish at all. She found a replacement (Katherine Thompson) but continued to be our right hand man.
     Cyndi drove. We dropped Kat off at the starting line then drove up to my starting point. The race started at 7am at the Crown Center. Kat was running 2.4 miles. The temperature was probably in the high 40's so it was chilly but supposed to reach the 60's. I knew I'd get hot as soon as I started running & wished I'd left me stuff behind. The sun had just come up during Kat's run. I was at the top of the hill next to Liberty Memorial, and thousands of people were running by. I'm not sure how we actually found Kat be we did & I took off.  I started out a bit chilly, but not too bad. To say I love downtowns is an understatement but I especially love downtown KC. Here I was, running downtown KC. Surrounded by a bunch of strangers that I could strike up a conversation with & never have to see again. I know it sounds strange but I'm strange. I love meeting new people who I feel like are my instant friends. We laugh & joke together, almost immediately have inside jokes (because in these situations we almost always have at least one thing in common). And then just like that, you never see that person again. It reminds me that the world is still a fabulous place full of really good people. I know that doesn't really describe it, but I like that sorta thing.

 As I ran there were lots of people who commented on my shirt, would congratulate me, yell- Go Momma! It felt fun. There were lots of signs like, Run, Ebola is coming. Worst Parade ever. Go, complete stranger. If Billy Butler can steal second, you can run 26.2. Tap here for extra power. Many about the Royals (It was World Series time and we were actually in them). I touched every "get power" sign, slapped every hand that was extended (I'm a germ-a-phob. but that kinda stuff gets me). I love getting lost in the race. Reading signs, reading people's shirts, listening to other people's conversations, chatting with strangers and taking in beautiful Kansas City. My thoughts are completely random but it's so relaxing. I remember seeing a guy who wanted to pull out of his driveway as we were running past. Seriously guy. You clearly missed the memo. You may as well get out and take the bus, you're not going anywhere for the next few hours! By mile 3ish I remember thinking how great I felt! Deb was right, I felt like a million bucks! This was probably the best I had felt in 20 weeks and that made me so happy that it was like a huge energy boost. I'm feeling good! I'm now nearing the Plaza. Oh, I love the Plaza! The hanging baskets of flowers are beautiful. The fountains are our thing and they're beautiful. The sun is blasting my eyes out. There were a few live bands playing which I thought was so KC and so cool. I ran past the Nelson Atkins art museum and the "birdies" on the lawn. I'm nearing Troost, the cutoff for the half marathon. They go left & we go right. Another band is playing and I turn to head up the hill. It seriously felt like everyone was gone now. The large group I was enjoying all turned left and now I was alone. I hate being alone. A runner came up from behind as I was taking a brief walk. Trying to recover from the first brutal hill. And little did I know, it felt like the rest of the course was all uphill after this point. We started chatting and just like that, I had met my new running partner. We talked like we were longtime friends. At this point it feels much more needed because the crowd thins out, no more power posters and very few runners. It helps pass the time. I don't know what mile I'm at. I sorta like to forget things like this, I think it makes things go by so much faster! Take pregnancy for example. That's why I don't announce until as far down the road as possible. You block it out and keep moving on. The next time you check your "mileage" you shock yourself at how far along you are! My feet are starting to feel it at this point. I should have gotten those new shoes. That's really the only thing I had a problem with the entire run. We snake back through the Plaza along side the river and then into the beautiful historical homes district. It's all up hill from here. By now I had given up hope that I'd see Mike & the kids. The roads were way too blocked off from the beginning and I knew it would be hard to get to the runners, especially now in this uphill climbing neighborhood. I knew Mike would be so bummed. I could just imagine him trying to find a way in and being frustrated cause he wanted to be there to cheer me on. He had left the house with all 3 kids at 6:30 so he could be at my starting line. I guess we should have anticipated all the road closures but we didn't. Just the thoughts of him loading up the stroller with 3 kids & franticly trying to figure out how to find me, was cheerleading enough. Ah, he melts my heart. And after all those thoughts, there I was on my last mile. See, my trick works. Holy smokes, I'm feeling so good! Aside from being totally done with this ongoing hill I feel so fabulous that I feel a little sad that I'd be finishing soon. With just a few blocks left, I tell me friend I'm giving it all I've got and I sprint it out. I seriously am in a little bit of shock that I just ran my 9.2ish miles as fast as I did and feeling as good as I did. Such a great feeling. Not that I was fast or anything but from where I had been, I did better than I ever had. My team was freaking out. I told them I was slow. I told them to count on a good 2 hours but likely 2 and a half. I surprised everyone, including myself and made it in under 2 hours. Apparently they had a hard time finding their way after a bathroom break and had literally just pulled up. Charlene was still taking some of her layers off & trying to tie her shoes. Charlene is off. She's third leg and running 3.2 miles. I Turned to find my running partner as she was running by. I cheer her on and just like that, I'd never see her again. I call Mike to tell him I just finished and he was bugged. Pretty much everything that I imagined was happening, actually happened. He was so bummed but said he'd meet us at the finish line. Vivian was 4th leg and ran 5.6 miles. Lauren was our last leg and ran 3.6 miles. We met up with Lauren about 3 blocks from the finish line and we all finished together. It was so much fun! We were all pretty untrained but accomplished this goal together. And together it really felt "easy". It was easy to see this entire experience from a spiritual standpoint. Seriously, such a great experience. The crowds, the adrenaline, the after run KC style BBQ. The challenging moments we had to go through to get to this point were so worth every struggle. The sense of accomplishment after these races are over leave you feeling on top of the world; at least for the next few hours. I'd do it again in a heartbeat.      

   

Bless his heart

      We headed for Garden City Friday morning, August 29th. Mike woke up at 4:30 which was the time he had been waking up for work anyway so I hadn't thought much about it. The chest pain was back. It had actually started a week earlier but he was hoping it was nothing so he didn't say much. Ok, actually it had started a month earlier when he started his rotation at Hospital Hill. Mike hates that place so much that it stresses him out. Brushing it off as stress he didn't say anything to me until a week ago. I told him he had to see his Cardiologist but because he was booked for a long time Mike brushed it off. (I won't mention that he has his cardiologists cell phone # and could call anytime and get right in, cause that would mean having to admit something is actually happening) So, we left for Garden City. We took the "long" way hoping to stay close to "big" cities/hospitals. I should have clued in. Mike gets nervous when we get far away from home, our Dr, our Hospital and he's not feeling well. Rightfully so.
     We arrived safely. Enjoyed the afternoon together and then dinner after Jake and Chanel arrived. I really love getting together with family. It makes for such a happy day!
     Mike and I had been up a while so we headed for bed. Mike couldn't sleep. That never happens. After lots of ups and downs and a priesthood blessing, by 3am, Mike had had enough and we went into the ER. They admitted him and that was that. Saturday we were supposed to be enjoying a day at the Lake with everyone but plans changed a little. The cardiologist wanted to take him back and do an angiogram right away but we said we wanted to go home to get it done. OK, great, they didn't have a problem with that. They said, "we'll transfer you."  And by transfer they meant ambulance or airplane. Not happening. Anywhere from $30,000-$50,000 didn't sound so happy. We fought it. After lots of chats with our Cardiologist and cardiologist to cardiologist we convinced them we could do it. They kept Mike in the hospital another night to monitor him. The plan was to discharged him first thing in the morning and then we drive straight to our hospital and be admitted. Sure it was risky. Yes I would have hated myself forever had something happened on the drive. I'd be happy paying 100 million dollars to have my husband around for a little longer. It's just kinda hard to think 100% that way when you've got no money. Life is funny, isn't it?  We felt good about driving.

 


     Sunday morning we all (minus Mike) went to church. Ryan is leaving to serve a mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints and Sunday was his "farewell." This was the entire reason we came into town. Mike text me about 15 minutes into the meeting and told me he could go. I rushed so fast out of there and picked up my honey! After I loaded up the precious cargo we headed for church. To our surprise, we made it back in time. It was fun to walk in mid meeting, Ryan was sitting on the stand and saw Mike walk in. Tears just streamed down his face. I don't think anyone expected Mike to be there. Jake, Lane, Ryan, Tayler and Mike all stood to sing "Called to Serve." It brought tears to my eyes. I love my brothers, I love Mike, I love how they all fit so nicely together and bring so much strength and love to a room. Melt my little heart.
     Ryan gave the most beautiful talk about trusting in the Lord. It was what exactly what we needed to hear at the right time. He's putting his life on hold for two years to serve the Lord. He's trusting that even though serving a mission can/will be hard it will be worth it. Jesus Christ paid the ultimate price and was willing to give it all up for us. Two years is nothing to give back. Everyone in our family is going through our own trials but we all have to put our trust in the Lord in our own way and it was just the most tender mercy to have my little brother say those words so eloquently. Mom was kind of a mess if you can imagine. Ryan is getting ready to leave, Dad had an accident the week before and broke a big bone in his face, Mike spent the weekend in the hospital, I've been having my own health issues and all of it coming together at the same time had her laughing and crying at once.
     After the meeting was over, we were saying our goodbye's and I decided getting a blessing was a good idea. I was given a blessing of healing. Having my Dad, four brothers and Mike who faithfully hold the Priesthood all join in giving me a blessing was powerful. I feel so confident that everything is going to be just fine. I feel like I have enough trust in the Lord to know that everything will turn out exactly how it needs to. It always does. I've never been let down before. I feel so much peace about everything going on. With that, Mom & Dad kept the kids, we loaded up and we were off.

     The drive was great. Mike felt great. We made great time (of course we did, I was driving.) We arrived in KC and checked into Truman Medical Center Hospital Hill.... Safe....Mike felt so much better just knowing we were back home with the care we love and trust.

He's chained down & we can't stop laughing about it

My bed=3 chairs they scrounged up

What I need to survive

                     

his face when I'm winning!

 

His man purse & dress are my favorite. He's looking at the "healing art." Lets hope it works

 

SO bored. He's breathing funny to change his oxygen pattern & spell his name on the screen.  

     So here I am now, Tuesday morning, Mike just got taken back for surgery and I feel great. I can't even begin to express how many miracles and tender mercies I've seen in my life and specifically when it comes to Mike and his sweet heart. There is no doubt in my mind that my Heavenly Father knows me. He knows exactly what I need, what I can handle, what will teach me. Mike's cardiologist, Dr. Paramdeep Baweja is such an instrument in the hands of the Lord. I love him so much! I really feel like this is the exact reason we ended up here in Kansas City. We have found the most amazing group of specialists. If Dr. Baweja can't do it, he knows someone who can, he makes the arrangements and bends over backwards. When he gave Mike his personal number he said, you're not my patient, you're my friend. You are young, you have a young family and you need to be around for them. That's my goal. Did I mention how much I love him? Lots.  
     I don't really get nervous when he's back in surgery. My stomach however does drop each time the door opens and I think the Doctor is coming to tell me how it went. That is the hardest part to hear. Sometimes it doesn't turn out like we think it should which is scary and hard to hear but looking back on each outcome, it was better than what we thought should happen. It turned out to be the very best. Did we know that, No. Did the Lord know that, yes. Last year after surgery as the Doctor & his fellow came out to get me, he said we needed to talk and then proceeded to take me back to a small room. He sat me down in a chair and was quiet for a long moment. Can you imagine what was going through my mind and how far my heart fell? That isn't what they normally do, I'll tell you that much.       I trust the Lord. I trust Dr. Baweja. I learn SO much every time we go through another round of surgeries. I wouldn't trade it for anything. When people ask how I'm surviving the trials, mostly I have to stop and ask myself, what trials are they talking about? It honestly doesn't feel like a trial. That scripture that talks about your burdens being light, and He will take them from your backs so you can't feel them. That's exactly how I feel. When I'm going through it it doesn't feel like a trial. Sure, I can look back and say wow, that was a hard time, but at the time the Lord blesses me with so much strength and peace it feels like nothing. As I studied the scriptures this morning I read a scripture in Psalms 147:3. I take that literally. "He healeth the broken heart, and bindeth up their wounds." He absolutely without a doubt does heal broken hearts. He has bound many many of Mike's wounds. There is nothing He can't do. Proverbs 3:5, Trust in the Lord with all your heart. I just can't even express the joy I feel when I read the scriptures and think about the power of the Lord. There are and has been so so many things science and Doctors couldn't explain about Mike's heart but it has always worked out. Miracles absolutely happen. Ahhh....can I shout it any louder!? God is so so good. Life is good.
     I just got a call from Kade's teacher saying he came to school a little sad and then told her a story about his Dad. I had to laugh a little.  Brooke is home babysitting the kids and last night they were having the best time! They didn't want to go to bed. Kade started crying when I put him to bed and I thought he might say something about missing Dad. Not a chance. He was like, why Does Bree get to stay up and play? She always gets to have all the fun. Back up to the end of their drive (Monday late afternoon), he called me and told me he was sick. He had thrown up that morning. Funny that I hadn't heard about it until now. I started catching on that he knew cousins were coming and he wanted to stay home from school and play. He also said to me when going to bed, do you know we have a counselor at school. You can go talk to her when you're not feeling like yourself. I'm like, OH, are you not feeling like yourself? Haha, you little smarty. You are pulling out all the stops. Sorry buddy, you're going to school. Now I guess we'll see if he stays in school for the entire day. Funny Kade.
   
     He's finished! Dr. Baweja just came out and sat by me in the waiting room. (See, that's what I'm used to). He was happy and things went great! They placed 1 stent in the RCA. A little branch going up has a stent and a branch leading to the right is what was totally occluded and stented last year. The LAD looked fantastic. Well, sort of fantastic. It's still about 70% occluded but it hasn't changed since last time. All is well! Happy Day, God is good!  Bless Mike's little heart. (:
     Recovery is hilarious. He's currently talking about what he's going to invent. He's wondering what kills more, Aids or Diabetes. He admitted that sometimes when he's really hungry he sneaks down to the cafeteria & eats some of those little cracker packages that go with the soup. He had me explain everything to him about the procedure. I know I'll be explaining it all again tonight when he's actually with it. Love him!

Well Hello 2014.

   Every time I get on here it tells me Blogger has a new look. Seriously. How am I supposed to keep up? So here I go for round three. I'm so far behind but forget it. I'm starting fresh & now. Yes I said now.
   A few changes since the last time I posted...Well, most importantly our family grew and we added sweet baby Nate. Now 9 months old. Don't worry, his life isn't completely undocumented. I may have a journal problem. Or maybe it's a love of cute books. Either way, I keep several journals and I write the most important information in my personal journal. I have a journal for each of my kids, a journal that Mike & I keep together and a journal for the funny things my kids say. Can't forget about my planner. Yep, I prefer to write everything. Maybe thats because I forget everything, but I say it's because I want to remember everything. Mike laughs at me and reminds me that my phone can do all that and more. Not for me, handwriting trumps electronics any day of the week. Plus I'm super terrible at writing here because I haven't quite figured out the private blog thing. It kinda seems like a hassle but at the same time I don't want my dirty laundry hanging out for all the world to see. Who knows who reads this stuff. (Probably no one) but it's the thought of it I guess. And lets be real, I never share many details anyway. I've had my share of life changing experiences but I don't publish them. Not here anyway. You can ask about them and I'm glad to share though.
  Enough of that random rambling. I'm trying to keep it short and sweet to encourage myself to write more.
   We're here in Missouri and while it's great, it's no Florida. Currently 32* and there isn't a beach in sight. It's a whole lot harder to get out and explore, but we're the Andersen's and that's what we love to do so here we are attempting the exploration of Missouri.
   We went ice fishing last weekend & enjoyed just hanging together. Mike drilled the holes, we dropped the lines and sat. The kids pretended to be penguins and played their little hearts out on the ice. I was super nervous for them to go too far at first. It was a 45* day. The sun was shining, the ice melting and we were making deep footprints in the ice. Of course I set boundaries & of course they walked right past them. I heard no cracking of the ice so I gave in and let them do whatever they wanted. I'm a good mom like that. Needless to say, 3 hours on the ice and not a single fish. Not even a nibble. It makes no difference to me because I hardly catch anything when the fish are jumping out of the water at me. It was an adventure for sure. The kids loved it. Mike, he loved it so much he went out later that night and stayed past midnight. That's huge cause he can't even stay awake past 8 O'clock at home. As I took the kids' boots off, their socks were soaking wet which totally took me back to my younger days. (And did anyone else ever layer like 3+ pair of socks hoping it would make it better?) You've got cheap equipment so you're freezing but you're having so much fun you just keep playing. They had one of those days. I didn't hear a complaint out of them once. So I'd say that makes for a perfect day.      

April...Oh look I'm almost an entire year behind!

     April was by far the busiest month but favorite! I've nearly forgotten the many small painful tasks you have to do to get ready to move your family across country. Find & arrange the cheapest way to move everything, arrange storage on the other end, post everything I didn't want to haul online and answer a thousand e-mails, you know, that sort of thing. Luckily that's all a blur compared to the massive amounts of fun we had! So here's the quick rundown with a few stories...

  5th Match Day, The day we found out where we’d be doing our residency. I can’t remember exactly how it went but match may have been Friday the 6th and a friend surprised us on the 5th when he called early that morning and told us he knew where he was going! He said he “hacked” the system and we should hurry and get on. It was so nice because we were getting nervous for the “big day” and then it happened before we expected it so we didn’t even have time to get anymore nervous. After we made sure it was okay to look early we got on and it said KANSAS CITY!! We screamed together, ran a few circles and hugged jumping up and down, just like the movies. That was a good day. Before interviews everyone said we’d get a really good feeling about where we were ranked and pretty much know where we were going. We had no idea. We honestly were happy to go to any of the places we ranked. We really thought there was no way we were going to KC and we weren’t even going to rank them #1. We bit the bullet and just ranked it how we wanted it and Luckily the Lord had the best plan and we matched with our #1 choice! Best news we had in a long time!

  10th-16th Jason & Mikelle flew in for a visit on their way down south for their summer job. We packed in lots of snorkeling, beach fun, the boys went night fishing and of course a Keys trip to show them all of our favorite things!

  13th We attended Mike's Senior banquet and celebrated their upcoming graduation with his classmates. I loved this night! Mike, the handsome love of my life worked so hard for such a long time and this was the night we got to party! The festivities took place at the top of a fancy hotel in this cute little circle room with floor to ceiling windows with a beach & city view. So amazing! I knew everyone would be in cute cocktail dresses and I didn't want to wear the typical "church dress," so I was on the hunt forever! I found a million dresses that were just a little too short or a little too low...please someone tell me a secret place you know about with fun, modest cocktail dresses! Needless to say, after buying and returning about 15 dresses I found a cheap one that worked and it was so fun to get all dressed up. Haha, it wasn't really that dressed up, I just never do it so it felt exciting! So this fancy circle room slowly rotated the entire night. It was great, every time I'd leave to go to the restroom or outside on the balcony I'd come back and our table was gone! It was so confusing. I can't imagine what it would feel like after a few drinks. There was a fancy dinner and dessert with an open bar. My friend said she was drinking a Shirley Temple so I made my way to the bar and asked the lady for a non-alcoholic Shirley Temple! I should have figured by the name but seriously, how would I know, I've never ordered a "drink" before. The lady gave me the most interesting look and with a little attitude said, honey, a Shirley Temple is non-alcoholic! I got a good laugh at myself & I'm sure the bar lady didn't know what to think! We seriously had no idea what we were doing but we danced the night away! Mike’s tongue was hanging out of his mouth, I’m sweating like crazy and we just kept moving. At one point we did the wobble, which at that time had no idea how to do it, we just pretended. After we went to sit down for a break our friend said, you just did the wobble!! White people don’t wobble!! Who knew? We had so much fun together that we didn’t care what we looked like. The pictures from this night will say it all. Laugh it up. One of Mike's classmates (who totally had a crush on him) grabbed his tie and pulled him real close and wanted to dance. Yikes! It was great fun watching his face! I knew she had had a few too many drinks and the truth was all coming out! She poured her heart out about what a great guy Mike is...Don't worry sweetie, I know! That's why I married him! (: Ahh, just a great night all around. I love watching Mike dance. We both go a little crazy but we don't do it very often, (more like never) so we enjoy ourselves!

  17th This night was the undercover concert, you know, the tickets we won to see a surprise singer. Yay, Sara Evans. It was free and we spent a fun night with great friends!

  19th-21st Mike & I spent a kid free weekend in the Keys with our favorite fishing buddy, Cliff!  We went out Friday evening as soon as we arrived and to both of our surprise, Mike got seasick! I was pulling in fish left and right (also to our surprise) I look over and Mike is green. Poor guy. We wanted to put him out of his misery so we only stayed out a short time, but in that time I ended up with 2 bluefish, 2 yellowtail and 8 grunt, which is a trash fish but hey I was still catching them! Ok, so Mike may have been sea sick and unable to fish but I still out fished him. WooHoo! Cliff is the BEST fishing friend EVER. He drives the boat, chums the water and does his best to keep my reeling in fish non-stop. So nice, right!?
 

  25th-29th The Steel family flew into town for the BIG day and a little pre game celebration! After they arrived we packed the car and headed for the Keys! Bright and early the next morning we went deep sea fishing (Fishing guide was Billy Delph. That is very important information I never want to forget. And if you ever go fishing in the Keys, they are a MUST. I will use them every time I go back!) Mom caught her dream fish, a 48lb Sailfish! The fight was beautiful! He opened his sail and jumped, dove & flipped. I thought he'd eventually pull mom overboard she was getting so exhausted. The pictures are priceless. I don’t think her smile could get any bigger!! Mike & Dad both had sailfish on but before we knew what had happened, their lines had crossed and they both got off. It's still pretty amazing to have hooked 3 sailfish! It was a beautiful day, we saw a hammerhead shark and a sea turtle. We caught Sail fish, Mutton snapper, Barracuda and Bonita. We successfully fished until the guide finally asked how much of it we wanted to eat! We didn't really have a way to get all that fish back to Kansas so we called it quits. On the drive home we stopped by a local Ma& Pop Grill, Bubalou’s and had them cook up our fresh fish. So tasty! Best fishing trip ever! We spent Friday at our beach, played in the pool and just relaxed.

 

  28th GRADUATION!! I can't believe this day finally came. Barry University School of Podiatric Medicine. Class of 2012. Congrats to the new Dr. Andersen! Graduation was the typical boring graduation routine, but awesome all at the same time. Solely for the fact it meant we were FINISHED. It was a little rainy if I remember right but a great Miami day! Dr. Southerland played the bagpipes, that’s probably what I’ll remember most about the ceremony. Haha. We had lots of support from friends and family. Sid & Tiiu came up from the Keys and our families flew in from Kansas and California. So nice! After the ceremony we ventured to the creature beach and found lots of conch shells and other crazy creatures. My mom was dying to find a shell so we had to grant her that request. But of course we didn’t take any of those crazy creatures home because it’s a federal offense and we wouldn’t want that on our records now would we!? Steal a conch shell…Some people must be heartless (: We enjoyed my families last night in Miami by playing paddleball on a cute little sand bar/island & watched the sunset. A proper exit if I do say so myself. It really was a perfect day.
 
  

27th-May 4th Kes & Ruth came in town for the BIG day and some Post game celebrating! Can you guess where we went??? They Keys! My favorite part of this Keys trip was Monday night Mike, Kes and Kade were enjoying some late night fishing. Kes sat down on the back porch to relax and set his pole on the ground by his feet. Next thing I know, Kes has caught a fish but the fish took off with the pole! Hilarious actually. Mike doesn’t have very many nice things but it just so happened that this was his nicest rod & reel. Darn the luck. Kes was feeling really bad but not bad enough to dive in after it. (: It was pitch black and as much as I love the ocean there wasn’t a chance I was going in there either. After laughing and talking about it all night we decided we wouldn’t see that pole again and chalked it up to a funny story that we’d never forget. The next morning Kade was fishing & caught a line…Hmmm…So this time we Mike dared jump in and check it out. I was on the paddleboard and Mike was snorkeling. We followed line forEVER. This line had moss and all sorts of junk growing on it so we figured it had been there for a looong time. We pulled and pulled. Found another line stuck the to first line and wouldn’t you know, Mike’s pole! We died laughing. Kes felt SO much better and Kade was pretty proud of his accomplishment. That poor fish must have swam and swam until he wrapped himself up so badly he eventually broke the line. Quite miraculous honestly. That’s some serious luck. Kes snorkeled while we were on the hunt. He didn’t believe that we see lots of large lobsters so he had to find out himself. He found one alright, he grabbed onto his front tentacle/feeler thing and wasn’t going to lose that fight so of course he comes up with the tentacle but no lobster! The poor critter! Kes always makes me laugh uncontrollably. Later that day we visited a touch tank/museum. Walked the streets of Key West for one of the last times for a while (don’t think I won’t make it back there). Enjoyed chocolate covered Key lime pie on a stick and photographed every inch of that place. Ahhh, the Keys. Sadly, we didn’t get to deep sea fish because we were rained out. So we headed back to Miami and packed up!
 

 We picked up the truck Thursday night and had it loaded and ready to go within a few hours thanks to the help of Mike’s parents. Friday morning Mike’s parents flew home and we spent our final day saying goodbyes and tying off loose ends. Its hard to say goodbye to paradise. We stocked up on key lime pie, coconuts, sand and miracle berries from Aunt Joan and Uncle Dru. Saturday morning we hit the road. KANSAS CITY HERE WE COME!! We decided to haul the car on the back of the truck and drive together. So glad we did because it was so much fun being together and I didn’t have to feel so nervous about Mike falling asleep at the wheel. You think I’m joking. We love a road trip so off we go 1,863.98 miles or 29 hrs and 24 minutes.
           And there set our Florida sun….

 

  MAY We arrived in Lee’s Summit Missouri on Monday the 7th. We spent all Tuesday looking at houses & compiling lists for the realtor. Wednesday & Thursday was spent with the realtor. By Friday we made an offer on a house we thought we’d love and headed for Garden City. The house was in pretty bad shape but we were up for the challenge. It had so much potential. We offered as little as we could because we knew we needed lots for the fixing part. Tuesday the bank countered back and we countered back again. By Thursday we heard back from the bank but decided we didn’t want it anymore. Funny how that works. They were trying to run their game and we totally lost interest. We felt really good about it though. So back to Lee’s Summit we go to look again. By Friday we made an offer on a house we loved and the rest is history. They were quick- they wanted to sell. We were excited- we wanted a house! The first house we ever looked at Kade said, “I want this one”! When we asked him why he said “because it has a backyard”! We reassured him we’d get him a backyard. This house has a backyard and trees to climb! Home sweet home.