Round up of 2011.....

With a new year upon us many people reflect on their past year, what they have accomplished and what they want to have happen in the next year. For us we have started the process of getting Clifford on the pump. The paperwork has been filled out and sent in, and now we are just waiting approval from the insurance. So our biggest accomplishment dealing with diabetes of 2011 was moving towards the pump. Well I take that back, moving towards the pump was our 2nd biggest accomplishment of 2011 in dealing with diabetes. The first biggest diabetes accomplishment was that Clifford is still alive and healthy.


One of the biggest diabetes accomplishments in the DOC this year is The Blue Heel Society... Have you heard of them yet???? If not you really need to check them out. You can find them on Facebook at, The Blue Heel Society For more information about what the Blue Heel Society is all about please read ahead.

The Blue Heel symbolizes the pain & discomfort that cant be seen from the outside, for those living with Diabetes. Just like a fab heel.


This organization is dedicated to all people living with, caring for, or interested in diabetes. The Blue Heel Society was formed on November 13th, the eve of World Diabetes Day, 2011 by a dedicated trio of spirited advocates who committed themselves to promoting awareness, pursuing the continued fight for a cure, highlighting obstacles people diagnosed with diabetes are faced with, and promoting advocacy for the diabetes community as a whole.

The Blue Heel Society accomplishes this NOT by raising funds, but by fueling our crusade with the strength, dedication, and passion of our partners.

Our Mission:

Advocacy - Awareness - Encouragement - Support

The mission of The Blue Heel Society is to deliver a clear, united voice via organized assembly within our own affiliation, and also at local and national gatherings, events, conventions, and other venues, helping to dispel myths, offer education and to champion the needs of people affected by diabetes.

We choose to stand up, be seen, and be heard in our Blue Heels.

302-GOT-SHOE

@Copyright Tony Cervati 2011
Website
http://www.blueheelsociety.org

My other favorite part of 2011 in the DOC was Denise's Type 1 D Mom's song, which is a Parody of Katy Perry's California Girls, you can take a listen to it at My Sweet Bean and Her Pod


So now that I've discussed what parts of diabetes I felt were the biggest accomplishments and favorites of 2011 it's time to look forward to 2012 and discuss what I want to see. First and foremost the one thing I would like to see happen with each new year is for a cure.... I am looking forward to getting Clifford on the pump even though I know it will be like diagnosis all over again in learning a bunch of new things, but I'm fairly certain at least on our end we will catch on quickly. 2012 has a lot of great things in store especially in the beginning of the year. I cannot wait to see what the rest of the year will bring.

What's been going on......

Wow, it's been quite some time since my last post. Since then Christmas have come and gone without much trouble, and now today we are embarking on Clifford's 8th birthday... So crazy that he is now 8, not sure how that is possible! Even though Christmas went off without much trouble, the days have still be busy and crazy. First being when Abby fell at the skating rink, and passed out. Now she is scheduled for an EEG and blood work, all of which I'm sure will come back fine, however its still pretty scary to me until they do. Hayleigh also started acting super thirsty, and of course I asked to test her. She was 148, however this was not a fasting number and she is getting tested first thing this morning to hopefully put my mind at ease there. Clifford also has been complaining of stomach aches for 4 days now after eating. His blood sugars have been great, some lows, but no highs. That was until 11pm last night when he was 299. So there I sat on the floor next to his bed, I let out a big sigh when I saw that number. I sat for a few minutes and debated with myself but ultimately decided to correct the number. I have put in a call to his endo to request a retest for Celiac's just to rule that out as stomach issues. Hopefully today turns out to be better for him since it is his birthday. I however am going to attempt to make a football shaped cake, so we will see how well that goes.

As bad as it may sound I was kind of excited to see that in the ton of blood work that Abby has to get her glucose levels are getting tested. I was going to ask about getting her A1c checked as well as Hayleigh's. I am still very much for having these done at checkups. But since they are not I am definitely not against requesting for them to be done, Just to make sure. They both have been tested for TrialNet and actually are due for their yearly recheck's here shortly, and both were negative. However with Diabetes in the house it's always in the back of your mind that it could take over another one of your children's bodies..

In all through everything going on, we're doing good. The kids are happy and enjoying the many Christmas presents they were blessed with from Santa. They are enjoying their Christmas vacation, all but Clifford that is as he is grounded for lying... Lying is one thing that is not tolerated with the kids, and we are trying to teach them now that it is not good and they must tell the truth at all times, even if they think they will get into trouble. Because they always get into more trouble when they lie. But for the day Clifford is un-grounded because it is his birthday. So he is excited to celebrate and get MORE presents lol. So here's hoping to good blood sugars, and good Swagging skills from his pancreas aka MOM in guessing all those carbs for the birthday goodies.

Shots..... "Do they hurt"...

This morning the discussion in our house was about shots. Abby found out that on Friday she goes to the doctors and has to get a few shots. She immediately cringed, and tensed up and said "I don't like shots", "do they hurt???".... Hmmm I could say "it's just a pinch, and it will be all over". However I chose to let the expert in shots explain to her if they hurt, now this could have gone either way, he could have scared her more, or helped. Thankfully he helped. Clifford explained it feels like a little pinch then its all over. And that she only has to get them that day for a few minutes then not again for awhile, and to trust him that they don't really hurt because he get's them everyday!

Just a positive post about how diabetes can help to explain to a 6 year old how shots really only pinch. This week diabetes isn't the main topic of discussion there is something that even trumps that this time of year... SANTA! The kids have all seen Santa at school, and other events and they are very excited. They really haven't mentioned what they want from him, just that they need to leave him cookies, and Abby said she needs to write a letter to Mrs Claus too because she helps Santa too... HA that's right Santa it's not all about you, your lady is getting some credit as well.

Choose to be happy.

Despite the hell of the last few days in dealing with an illness and diabetes, I choose to be happy! In the midst of vomiting, trying to keep blood sugars up, I choose to be happy! If you sit and stir it is not going to help anything at all. We've all been there, we've sat, yelled and cursed at diabetes for what it does, and is doing. Trust me, I've thought how much more simple the flu would have been to handle without diabetes in the picture. But right now I can't change that, I cannot change it at this very moment so despite the curve balls being thrown at me the last few days, I have chosen to be happy. And you know what I am happy, beyond belief. I've had my moments of self pity thinking how nice it would be just to SLEEP for once. But the lack of sleep I am experiencing now is keeping my son alive, so why shouldn't I be happy. He's alive this morning, he's, granted not feeling well, but he's up, breating, reading a book and that should count for a lot. So despite the last 5 days I'm happy, and I think the household is all around happy. If I were to sit and mope and pity myself and pity Clifford for being sick and dealing with what he has to deal with then the house would feed off of that and the kids would be miserable. Instead they are happy, smiling and playing, having a good old time. My point in all this, is you need to make a decision to choose to be happy despite whatever is being thrown at you. God doesn't give you anything more than you can handle, although sometimes it may seem like it you can get through it. Choose to be happy and you will see a change in yourself and everyone around you. If you don't think you have anything to be happy about think of this... You're alive right? Well that's always a good thing.......

Looking past diabetes for the day!

Although we live with this lifelong chronic disease 24/7/365 from time to time it's refreshing to look past diabetes. For my look past diabetes today I am going to look into one of the most important reasons I get up daily with a smile on my face able to weather the storm. And let me introduce you to that reason now:


Have you every felt like a piece of your heart, your life was missing, and no matter what you did you could not feel complete? Well almost 2 years ago I found my missing piece. Happiness to me before was just a word, a word and feeling out of my reach. I remember the moment I knew my life was changed forever and for the better. I was 14, I don't exactly remember where we were or what was going on, but I remember laying down beside Chad looking over at him. I believe this was the same day he hit a wiffle ball right into my chest, but hey that's another story. As I was laying there staring at him and listening to him talk I knew that from now on he would always hold a piece of my heart. Even though I have had my share of strife and pain in my life after that moment when I was 14, I never felt alone. There was 8 years after high school that I didn't get to see him, that I worried about him and prayed he was happy.I didn't know what to expect when I searched him up on Facebook 2 years ago. I just wanted to see how he was, and what was going on with him now. I could have never imagined that the feelings I had all this time for the last 15 years would be returned much more over. I cannot explain the feeling of happiness I feel now, because there is truly no words for it. He is not only my missing piece but my best friend. No matter what is thrown at me now I know that because I am complete that I can handle it. It is probably creepy to him but there are times usually daily that I just look at him and wonder how I got so lucky. I think to myself, "He's so gorgeous, I could just eat him up".... okay maybe that is creepy, but w/e it's true. He's not only gorgeous as that is apparent by his handsome good looks :), but he's soo smart. I never had any expectations going into this with him other then I knew it just felt right, like it's always been this way. He is a great dad, not only to his boys and our girls but to all "OUR" kids. I could not imagine my life any differently. It may have taken me quite a while to let him know how I truly felt but I will now not let a day go by without letting him know I love him sooo much. Apparently it was in God's cards that one day I would be able to experience the feeling of happiness 10 times over. Who ever thought we would go from here:


to where we are today... I wouldn't change it for anything! Chad, I love you more than you will probably every know, this is why I insist that I am right when I say I love you MORE! You are my best friend, my heart and soul, and one of the best things to ever happen to me. I am very blessed to have you in my life.... <3 you.

High Bg #'s, corrections, ketones, oh my!

I've come accustomed to understanding what is going on and why we are seeing certain #'s or ketones, etc. However I am completely baffled by the happenings of the last few days. On Wednesday Clifford woke up at 333 with moderate ketones, not feeling good, ate and wanted to go right back to bed. It took until 2pm to flush out the ketones and get his numbers finally under 200! The next day Pre Pump class, he was feeling great, but still numbers were high, with a 414 at Children's hospital for no reason, he had 4.5 units at Breakfast which is A LOT for him and it still didn't come down in fact it went up, but no ketones at this time. All day long there were no numbers under 200, in fact we concluded the night, or so we thought at 309, with a correction dose of 1.5 units, and 0.5 to cover the carbs for snack. 2.5 hours later you would assume his BG would be lower especially seeing as I opened a brand NEW bottle of humalog, and Lantus at bedtime, nope actually it was higher at 314. He was corrected again, and rechecked 1.5 hrs later, and still sitting at 254! I thought he would be okay and dip again at 3am due to his Lantus peaking, but nope, I was woken up at 1 am with him screaming out that he had gotten sick, in fact all over his floor. Once everything was cleaned up bg was checked and he was 163, but he got sick again, and again, and once more until 1:30 when he was finally sleeping with a BG# of 146. Finally at 2:30 I checked him he was only 133, and I treated since he would be dipping at 3am. I rechecked once more at 3 and he was now 121, time for bed. He actually slept straight through until 7:30. Wish I could say the same for me, I tested him once more at 5am before laying back down and he was 124. When he woke up we were at 98 and he was actually hungry, and his tummy was only hurting a little bit. He has been feeling much better all day long and I'm baffled as to if a virus hit him or he was feeling the unfortunate side effects from consistent high blood sugars for a day.

On the road to pumping

Soon within the next few months our lives will change once more. This time for the better. Yes it will be almost back to diagnosis time again learning and getting used to a new "norm", but we will get the much needed flexibility. In addition we are "crossing fingers" we are approved for the integrated cgm that can be included which will help relieve some stress as well. We had our Pre-Pump class today and choose the Medtronic Minimed Paradigm insulin pump, we are thinking of going also with the Mio infusion set. This will be a whole new world of diabetes that we are not used to. It's exciting, confusing and scary all rolled in one. The funny thing about our Pre-Pump class is I felt at home, they were speaking my "language". I knew what they were talking about and learned a few things as well. It was nice to be around an environment that we deal with daily. So hopefully very soon you'll see a blog post with a picture of a smiling Clifford and his shiny new "pancreas".

Why do I feel so guilty...

The life of diabetes is never ending. As every other night I usually test Clifford's blood sugar at midnight and 3am, however last night I was particular sleepy. I treated a low at 10pm, rechecked and he was back within range. I checked once more before going to bed, but decided not to check at midnight and 3am... In fact I said a little prayer and asked God to watch over him as he slept. I also asked if he were to go low for God to wake me to let me know, somehow, someway like in the past. Well around 1am Annie woke up and after I got her back to sleep I decided that could in fact have been my little sign and he was low. So I dragged myself upstairs in the dark with my little meter with a light in tow. I waited what seemed forever for those few seconds for the meter to beep, and low and behold he was 84! Which during normal daylight hours is not all that low. However at night this is not a number to mess with. SO I treated, waited and rechecked and he was back within range. After that it was a restful slumber until I woke up this morning. He was fine within range and happy, cheerful and most importantly alive! However after the other night the guilt is killing me. I keep asking what IF I did not wake up at that time and decide to check him since I didn't set the alarms. Two nights prior I set alarms for 1am and 3am since I had checked him at 11pm. I woke up at 7am freaking out because the alarms did not go off when I knew I set them on the iPod. However after looking at it they were both off and the 1am alarm was mysteriously deleted. Thankfully Clifford was awake and at a 156! But again the guilt... So I ask myself, he was fine, I caught the low last night but why do I still feel so guilty... When JDRF came out with their ad to open the eyes of the FDA a few weeks back it was wonderful and great they put the truth out there very right to the point. In case you haven't seen the ad you can view it here:

But I think the statistics shocked everyone (1 in 20), now that is why I feel so guilty.

It always could be worse.......

I complained last night and this morning, even yelled at the alarm in the middle of the night because I was tired and wanted to sleep more than 1-2 hours a stretch. But after waking up and reading over some news feed throughout the Diabetic Online Community (DOC)I will take my complaining back, because it always could be worse. A family in Australia lost their 17 year old daughter during the night of November 8th to Type 1 diabetes... It's very sad that one cannot put their child to bed and know that they will wake up bright eyed in the morning. There have been many mornings when Clifford has slept in later than normal that I have tip toed slowly to his room for fear of what I might find. Even though he's tested overnight it's no guarantee that he will wake up in the morning.

It's unfortunate that it seems every month it seems another life or lives is lost and cut way too short because of this disease. Every month a stream of blue candles are lit in memory of those lost to diabetes. I will stop complaining of my lack of sleep and alarms going off ( I may not stop yelling at them) because it always could be worse, it always could be the latter....

With diabetes there is no guarantee
But it always could be worse

Diagnosis day is a tragedy
But it always could be worse

A full time job with no vacation or pay
But it always could be worse

A broken heart with an ache that will never cease to go away
But it always could be worse

That constant feeling of resentment
But it always could be worse

Sometimes we get lost in our own pain and torment
That we forget, it always could be worse...

I'm no beta cell...

Have you ever had a moment where it seems like everything is hitting you all at once? How about a day that was just "off". For the most part I have handled (at least I think) Clifford's diagnosis as best as one can handle a diagnosis of a chronic lifelong illness. But there are days where I get more than frustrated at the disease. Just when you think you've gotten a little bit of a "handle" if there is even one with D, on it, BAM! You are smacked back into your place of the "unknown". There is no consistency whatsoever with Diabetes. NONE. Period. Seeing as it's Diabetes Awareness month perhaps it's best to vent my frustrations at D now, here for everyone to see exactly at some point what we all go through. I read, and read, and read, and even read some more to try to grasp a bit of an understanding at what is happening in my son's body. To try to understand as best I can how certain foods affect him. I measure his blood sugar, count the carbs and give what I think from my training is the best dosage of insulin to keep him with a good stable blood sugar. But I'm no "beta cell". In case you are not familiar with exactly with what a beta cell does, here it is. A beta cell is located in the islet cells in our pancreas. They constantly measure the blood sugar, and produce insulin as needed which helps us "Non D'" to maintain a stable blood sugar. Our pancreases are so awesome in fact when say we haven't eaten for awhile, our blood sugar will start to drop, but the pancreas senses this and shuts down the production of insulin and will begin to produce glucagon, which helps to bring the blood sugar back up. It's a perfect machine of balance.

Really there is no point to this post except there are times that I am very unhappy that I cannot function like the perfect little machine of the pancreas. I'm just no beta cell...

Life with Type 1

Seeing as November is Diabetes Awareness month I think it would be best to shine some light on what it is to live with Type 1 diabetes as a child. There is a lot of different aspects to Type 1 so it will be better to provide you with a little insight on a daily basis rather than throw it all at you at once. The first little peek into the life with T1 as a child I will give you is what happened yesterday. This is the 2nd time this school year so far this has happened. I got a call around 1:30 that Clifford's blood sugar was running high all day 5 check so far throughout the day and well over 300+. He had a substitute nurse who had not worked with Clifford before and was unfamiliar with what to do in this situation. She said Clifford had just come back down and wasn't feeling good, he said his head hurt and his stomach hurt. Which when you have a high blood sugar like he did, it makes you feel icky, (upset stomach, headache, etc, etc, etc). Over a month ago the exact same thing happened but he was 451, not feeling good so he came home, got some insulin, and felt better within the hour. However the substitute nurse didn't feel 'comfortable' with dosing him when he was not supposed to be. So long story short he came home. He got a small snack, insulin to cover the carbs plus 3 units of a correction dosage because by this time he was 427. An hour and a half later he was 129! And most definitely feeling much better.

The point to the story is that Type 1 never gives you a break, at Cub Scouts we were hit with a low, and at school he was forced to come home and miss out from getting Halloween treats and classwork in the later part of the day. No break, ever....

Halloween and Diabetes

It's that time of year again when the kids go from house to house dressed up in many different costumes and get a ton of Carbs, aka Candy! If you are new to diabetes or just wondering how Halloween and diabetes work, let me do my best to explain it to you. Halloween and diabetes is really not that different from Halloween and NO Diabetes. We get dressed up in our favorite super hero or other costume just like everyone else. We get our treat bags ready for our school parties, sometimes we even have a parade. The only difference is that when it's done and over with, after we check the Carbs, aka candy, we have to make sure that whatever candy is chosen by our T1 to count each and every single carb and dose correctly with insulin. Now in our case and being on MDI's we have to make sure that this candy and insulin dose is at least 2 hours from the last insulin dose. So I guess you can say there are 2 differences, carb counting and strategic planning :). The planning involves making sure we eat at least 2 hours prior to the time of return from Trick or treating. Halloween can be very scary especially to those just starting out, but it's important to remember to let our kids still be kids. Just plan and dose properly with love of course. If you are curious there are a few lists of carb counts in the normal Halloween candy put out each year that you may want as reference for those small pieces that may not have the carbs listed.

Halloween Candy Carb Count #1
Halloween Candy Carb Count #2

You will make it through Halloween and it will be a fun and memorable experience. Stay tuned for a "How to handle Thanksgiving" post and my vent from last years experience.......

The changing moods of D.

Just give insulin to cover the carbs and their numbers will be fine... Um yeah no. That is how it is in a world with unicorns, rainbows, and oh yes glitter. I can give Clifford the same meal every single time, he can have the same blood sugar #, and get the same amount of insulin and guess what his number will most likely never match each other. There are those great things that affect his blood sugar that we cannot control. Stress (rises it) exercise (lowers it), illness ( just plays a wacky roller coaster game for fun). I heard something last year that really just strikes you as WOW there are 99 different things that can affect a blood sugar # and only 3 you can control. So with those numbers it looks like D has the winning odds. It's been a little ridiculous lately with #'s. A treat the other night of a cupcake, (okay fine cover the carbs right) yeah no we dropped low right at bed time. Dosed him with a good amount of carbs, he was high at 20 min check, and guess what woke up normal. Then another snack the night after not nearly as many carbs as the cupcake, bg# was beautiful, and guess what the waking # was, oh yes 303! I really don't understand how the way it works, and frankly I never will. My brain is on overdrive all the time, and when I get down time, I honestly don't know how to function. Since Clifford was diagnosed I've done so much research on every aspect of T1 diabetes, and more. Heck, I'm still researching pretty much daily, and jotting down notes. The truth of the matter is that I will never be done researching, D always changes and nothing will ever be the same with it. It's like having a friend that lives with you 24/7 who has mood swings that are over the top every single day. You would get sick of this friend after a few days would you not? I just wish it was as easy to kick out D as it would be to kick out that friend.

The business of Diabetes

Wow it's been quite awhile since I've actually posted. We are obviously still fighting the fight with D, and doing our best to kick it's butt. Unfortunately we have had some high numbers with the start of school and it's been taking it's toll on Clifford. The bright side is that his numbers are finally starting to get back within range. Look for an increased A1c at his next endo appointment in November, but that is to be expected with school starting. On another bright note I've been so no busy, but productive :), because I got a new writing job working with a diabetes blog in the UK! It is very exciting to me because I can write about the truth about diabetes, and the difference between the types of diabetes. This is another step in awareness and getting the correct word out to others. In case you are curious and want to check it out the blog is located at:Diabetes UK. I will still be keeping everyone updated on Clifford's battle with D and how everything is going, just maybe not as frequent as before!

The sickness created by D

Have you ever sat and wondered what it was like to live with Diabetes? I mean really live with it, the highs and lows. Well from the last few weeks I can most definitely tell you what the highs and lows do to your body. Imagine being on a non stop roller coaster ride, and not one of the fun ones either. You go up, stay up, then dive right back down only to go back up, and back down again. Ever since school started for at least more than half the day Clifford is running high. Now if you remember correctly his last A1c was 6.8%! He is not used to running high, especially not the high's we are seeing from school, 200, 300, 400+. One of which caused him to come home early, another of which caused him to have to sit out gym class. D is taking it's toll on his little body and there is nothing I can do about it right now, except rack my brains on exactly how to get through this. He runs high all day to come home and get back into a normal range then do it all over again the next day. It's making him feel sick to his stomach, giving him a constant headache, his eyes are burning, and he is very emotional. I just don't understand why he cannot catch a break for awhile at least. My wish and prayer for tonight is he get back into a normal, safe range, and be able to enjoy school, and not feel icky all day long. The constant up and down is beating him up, inside and out. It's basically like you or I going days on end without sleep then crashing from exhaustion. His body needs a break to rest up from this ride.

Invisible Illness

What is it like to live with an invisible illness? Diabetes is an invisible illness that makes sure to make it's presence known. From the highs all the way down to the lows. The best way to describe life with an invisible illness is a "roller coaster". The definition of roller coaster is:

An action, event, or experience marked by abrupt, extreme changes in circumstance, quality, or behavior. That in part explains some aspect of Diabetes. But in addition to the "extreme changes" you have the 24/7/365 Fear, Frustration, Anger, Sadness, The feeling of being emotionally and physically drained, and sleep deprivation . Life with an invisible illness such as D, is in one word "Demanding".

Have you ever sat back and heard about another's illness, or home situation and thought, I could never do that, I could never be that strong. Well when something such as D enters into your life, into your child's life, you have no other choice then to be strong, throwing in the towel is NOT an option. I know by this point all of this can sound scary, and the blunt truth is that it is. Diabetes is very scary, life with diabetes is scary. Because even though things may seem fine on the outside, and things are cooperating on the inside, it can change in the blink of an eye. The fear of death is far too great with Diabetes, and far too real with the loss of a precious 15 year old girl in her sleep just two days ago. What one that lives with, and one that cares for someone with an invisible illness has to decide is that fear worth being miserable for the rest of your life? To me even though the fear will always be there, it was not worth it. I may be in fear daily that something will go wrong, but I don't let that fear control me. The one thing D has brought into the picture was to learn to cherish life NOW! Cherish every moment you have and be thankful for those small miracles. I know I am thankful every morning when I hear Clifford waking up in bed! I fear the night time, I stress and worry over the night time, but there is a fine line when I tell myself enough is enough. I cannot let the fear and stress control me because I would be miserable, we would all be miserable.

Clifford is well aware what happens if he drops to low from past experience with unconsciousness and seizures. But I've tried to instill in him that D is not going to control him. We are going to do our best to control D, and keep it at bay. He is only 7 years old, he should be worrying about school, tests, sports, and dare I say girls! He should not be worrying about waking up in his bed the next morning! I make sure to put him to bed at night, give him kisses and hugs, and let him know I'll be keeping an eye on him overnight and not to worry. The sense of security it brings to him is heart warming. I couldn't protect my son from D damaging and taking over his body, but I will do my best to protect him now from it so he can live the normal healthy life.

In ending there is another word associated with Diabetes, and that is HOPE!

School.....

I have to admit the school situation with Diabetes has been giving me a headache recently. We have a temp 504 in place, temp being the school has it on file but I have yet to sign it because I do not agree with one part. The part where we're trying to get an aid for Clifford, still working on that will update as further information comes in ..

But I have to say our new school nurse is great and on the ball. I got called twice today. Once because the carb count for school lunch items was all funky and the total we thought wasn't the correct one. So she wanted to let me know the correct one. Awesome part #1. The second time being she was concerned because both of the Type 1 diabetic kids in school (Clifford and a little girl) were dropping low before lunch because of recess. So she wanted to discuss if we should try to get recess moved. Hmm this is great because if recess could be after lunch it will help with those highs we're sing at snack... So I told her just that, and she is talking to the principal about getting it moved. That is awesome part #2. I do not have to talk, and try to leave messages, get no response then keep trying over and over. She's going to advocate for this for the kids. I love it! Second week into school and I'm very pleased with our nurse, that gives me a sense of relief on that end. Up next our 504!!!!

Peace Out D!

That's it, we're putting in our 2 week notice! I've had it with D's antics. We are officially saying sayonara in 2 weeks to D!...... If only it were that simple..

We've battled the lows before, we've battled the highs. But what get's me is the 'unknown'. I tend not to dwell on it because we'll that would just drive me crazy. But now after battling lows during the night, and catching a low this morning pre-wake up time for Clifford. My brain gears are starting to turn trying to figure out what is causing this.

2 weeks ago we battled lows 4 out of 7 nights during the week. I made a decision to start giving him lower carb snacks (under 20 grams) uncovered, meaning no fast acting (bolus) insulin given to cover those carbs. I decreased his Lantus to 5 units. (Lantus is the insulin that he gets at night time which is supposed to work for up to 24 hours, or long lasting insulin.) This worked good for us except a few morning highs of 200+. Well throw school starting last week into the picture and you get ridiculously high numbers 300+ daily for lunch/snack. To me that is just unacceptable! School is stressful enough, but with numbers that high it can't be fun at all.

So point being here, his Lantus was increased by to 5.5 units (what his endo wanted) to see if we can get those early morning 200 numbers, and TA DA! We have a low of 62 at 11pm! Now as my brain is working I question is it the increased Lantus. Or is it something else. He was complaining yesterday morning of his throat hurting when he coughed, but showed no other symptoms of being sick, and the cough wasn't a bad cough more of a clear your throat kinda cough. But after getting a sore throat myself last night and having it still stick around this morning, I'm wondering if this is the start of a Fall cold brought to you by school????? Being sick would cause wacky numbers both high and low......

The problem here is there is no black or white with D. He could very well be getting sick, but it could also very well be the increased Lantus that caused the drop. Just like the tootsie roll pop.... We'll never know... The best I can do is guess and hope it all works out in the end.we'

A poem for dealing with D...

It was asked today at Sunday school how you can show your faith or worship to God in writing. I used to write poems all the time from the age of 15 on. At 15 I lost my cousin, more like my brother and it helped to write out my feelings. However with as busy life has gotten I haven't had much time to write. Tonight I sat down and tried to accomplish this task. The only thing that came to my mind in showing my faith in God is in dealing with D. It is a very difficult journey to deal with an illness that at anytime can take my son away from us. It has been a long hard road to follow in getting to the point I'm at now. So with my words here is how I show my faith to God on our D journey.

The unknown scares me to my core.

I don't know how I can take much more.

During times of many questions.

I open my heart and mind to your suggestions.

My strength I pull from you.

For you are there to lead me through.

The difficult times both near and far.

You are my ultimate northern star.

School is back in session as of Tuesday, Sept 6th, and it has done nothing but wreak havoc on Clifford's blood sugar numbers. It's just that time of year again that he made need more insulin. However the debate with myself that I'm having is that I feel he should be more active in sports or extra curricular activities first to see if that helps before we increase his insulin. All summer long when he was home and the weather was nice the first thing he did after breakfast was go outside and play, and so it continued all day long after lunch, and after dinner. His numbers reflected this, they were Great!.

But now he's back in school, and it's been doing nothing but raining all day and everyday, he's stuck inside with no recess, and only gym once a week. My thought is why just increase his insulin if he can get into activities and become more active. I know that there is a good chance in the winter time he'll need more insulin even if he is active but right now I'm leaning on activity to see if that helps. I'm just not enjoying the numbers of 300s and 400s at school when I know he has not been that high in a long time when he was at home. It's frustrating to say the least. He has been known in the past (last year) to sneak food he wasn't supposed to, so that is an option too. That is why at our 504 meeting I am recommending we have an Aide with him during the day and on the bus. #1 to help if he's low, etc. #2. They can watch over and make sure he's only eating his lunch that he packs.

Normally kids trade foods etc, and it's no big deal. Not in this case, each carb is counted and he must eat only his, because if he traded and got something with more carbs, well highs will happen for sure. I just know there is NO reason he should be this high during the day at school. When he get's home it's a fight to get him back within range, only for him to wake up then go back to school. That is one roller coaster his body should not be riding.

Stages of Grief and a Chronic Illness...

With a chronic illness it's like you are losing part of you or part of your loved one that you cannot get back. In Clifford's case I cannot get back the carefree days without D. The time that I sent him off to Preschool without any worries, or even a second thought to him eating or drinking.

When looking at a chronic illness to begin to even accept it you must go through the grief of losing that piece of someone or yourself.

The first stage is Denial, The I can't believe this stage. I kept thinking in our experience that maybe they got it wrong, maybe it wasn't Type 1 diabetes, maybe it was something else that he can just take a pill for or nothing at all. Denial is a hard stage, because with Diabetes you need to accept your new normal and handle and care for your or your loved ones Diabetes diligently.

After you have passed Denial you will hit the stage known as Depression. I may have stayed in this stage a little longer then I would have liked. I was very unhappy that Clifford had to go through what he had to go through and couldn't be a normal kid anymore. I could cry at the drop of a hat just thinking what he must endure now and the rest of his life until there is a cure. Heck I probably could still cry at the drop of the hat, but I'm emotional like that. I however got through the depression and moved onto the next stage which is Anger.

In the anger stage, which once in awhile I frequently revisit, I was so angry with Diabetes for coming into his life. I wanted it to see where the front door was and see it's way out. I wanted Diabetes to know it was NOT welcome in Our life and most importantly my son's life! It's hard to live day to day when you are so very angry at someone or something. It's not healthy for anyone around you and certainly not healthy for yourself. It is also hard not to be angry at something such as Diabetes for robbing them of a normal life. But eventually you move past your anger and learn to enter the last stage Acceptance.

During the acceptance stage you realize finally that this is how it is going to be from here on out. How I looked at it was I could either sit around being sad and angry at something that was out of our control, or I could accept it, and be as happy as I possibly could. It helps to look at all the positive around you rather than the negative when dealing with D. The best positive of all is that my son is alive!

Now some stages of grief list bargaining. Which I can see as I have said many times to God, why couldn't he just make Clifford's pancreas work correctly and give me D instead. That I would much rather endure the shots, and everything involved with D rather than Clifford go through it.

In all I've gone through all the stages of grief. That's not to say that from time to time I don't go back and revisit a few. I do, I'm only human, but I've learned to accept that this is Clifford's new life, and we just make sure to do our very best to ensure he grows up to be a happy and healthy adult. And also make sure he is a responsible capable adult in dealing with his diabetes management, that is until a cure is found...........

Diabetes is a cruel joke...

I've come to accept that nothing with D is guaranteed. I've also come to learn how certain things affect Clifford's blood sugar. However, there are times when I'm just baffled and it really irritates me. Wednesday night was 'tiring' to say the least with a random low at 4am, and lack of sleep. With that being said, I was determined to get some sort of sleep last night. I was really hoping for 5 hours straight!

I pulled out all I could in my bag of tricks to make this happen, and it went a little something like this. Feed the twins good right before bed, check. Put them in warmer Pj's so they don't get cold, check. Give Clifford a good amount of a solid protein, and extra carbs to sustain a nice number, DOUBLE CHECK! I thought that would get me some sort of sleep last night. HOWEVER, D had something else in mind. Clifford was 83 at bedtime (lower but still a nice number). Instead of 50 grams of carbs, and 1 unit per insulin ratio, he had 75grams with at least 2 servings of protein (peanut butter). Peanut butter has been known in the past to help sustain a nice solid number for Clifford at night time. I could have placed money on Clifford having a decent number throughout the night. Before my bedtime (around 11pm) I decided to check Clifford and not wait until the 12am check. To my surprise he was 63!! After running and grabbing juice, crackers, and some more peanut butter, I rechecked to make sure it was correct, and he was now 50! The one good thing in this story is that he woke up and was able to drink the juice, and eat without much mess. We joked about how he got to get some good snacks the last two nights. He was asking how low he was, etc. I don't keep it from him, and let him know his #, but made sure to tell him not to worry about it to go back to sleep, and I would be rechecking him, and he'll be safe. After that brief conversation he was back to dreamland.

I waited around 20 minutes to recheck him and he was back up but still only 100! I just didn't like going to bed with him only being 100! So I gave him 2 glucose tablets to ensure he got up over. I figured he'd be a little bit high, and at that point with lows throughout the day and previous night, I could accept a little bit high during sleep. I decided to set my alarm for 1am instead of 3am to recheck to make sure we were sitting good. Well as I've said before I seem to wake right before the alarm goes off. So at 12:56 we were at 237! Again high, but I can accept that number. Like I said, D sometimes baffles me. The only reasoning I can think of the drop is the amount of activity right before bed, and it finally caught up on him.

It seems that last night D was playing a cruel joke on me and I didn't get the punchline to it. I am really hoping we don't have much of these 'Yummy late night snacks' when school starts back up, or that boy is really going to be tired.

Food.. What is it to you?

My lack of sleep is causing my thinking to be somewhat comical. Every time I turn around it's time for more food.. Breakfast, Lunch, snack, dinner, snack, etc, etc, etc...

So I got to thinking how food in our world is a bit different then food in your average world.

Food can be our friend (perfect situation where blood sugars are good, and food provides him with his nutrition and vitamins he needs to be healthy. Food can be our foe, and cause way high blood sugars if not enough insulin is given. And high blood sugars, are just a pain in the tushie. But then like last night, sometimes at 4am food can be a life saving medicine to bring up a low blood sugar.

I'm just at the point today that I'm sooo over food, no matter how yummy it can be. Besides, food is WAY overrated anyways....

3am battle, to treat or not to treat..... OH yeah an a A1c Update!

I've become so accustomed to waking up and doing night checks at 12 am and 3 am lately, that I wake up right before the alarm goes off. I figured for the most part we would be running a bit higher last night, since bedtime snack was banana cake with vanilla icing for Ethan's birthday.. However I did not foresee a battle at 3 am with myself trying to decide whether to treat or leave him ride it out. At midnight he was 173, a bit higher then I would like during the day but a number at night that I find just fine. I figured with his past trends the last few night's by 3 when his Lantus hit it's peaking point he would drop at least 20 more. Boy was I a bit off. At 3am, or 2:53 to be exact, since I woke up without the alarms assistance, he was 123!. Well that is an awesome number, but left me questioning whether I should give him some assistance in keeping up during the night, or let him ride it out. I decided on the latter. Now the question remains, how did my decision pan out??? Well I just tested him and his waking number is 96!!! BEAUTIFUL! I really hope that is the start of a great bs# day! (Yuck picture you really can't tell as it's on the webcam, Bad Bridget for not charging the camera, however there is our pretty 96!!).

Oh yes and an updated A1c, our last endo app 8/16 Clifford's A1c went from 7.3% to *drum roll please* 6.8%!!!! I am beyond estatic, as you can tell by the fact that it's over a week from said app and I'm still gushing about it.

Back to School with diabetes

What all does back to school with diabetes entail? Right now it's massive loads of paperwork, including a 504 plan, a DMMP (Diabetes Medical Management Plan), quick reference guides for teachers on hypoglycemia, and hyperglycemia, An diabetes emergency packet for the nurse, and teacher, and numerous emergency contact cards. Not to mention a call to the 504 coordinator to set up a meeting with her, a call to the school nurse to set a meeting up with her to discuss new changes in our management plan. Then there is also putting his new supplies and kits together for school. That includes one kit kept at the nurse, and a small emergency kit with items to treat hypo's for his teacher, as well as items he keeps on himself in case of a hypo. Last year we had a few issues in the beginning, but this year I'm far more prepared with our paperwork and all other items that I hope everything goes smoothly. It's a bit of work in the beginning but will pay off in the end when everyone is on board with his care.

We recently as of yesterday have a new care regime with carbohydrate counting, and correction doses, instead of the old fashioned sliding scale. This is the next step to getting on the insulin pump. We'll do this for 6 months then review and see if we are ready for the pump. It's an exciting new venture for Clifford. Back to school time is stressful, but I think everything will work out in the end.

Highs, and behavior!

I'm over the attitude and behavior problems that come along with high blood sugar numbers. Clifford has had a horrible attitude issue ever since Chad left for Annual training. In part it was manageable in the beginning. I figured he thought he could get away with things he normally wouldn't because it was just me. But then we had a day of highs yesterday and the behavior was even more annoying and out of control. I repeated to him several times "Just because your high doesn't give you a free ticket to be a butt.". I tried everything that I could think of with him, and he was in trouble quite a few times. Part of me knows he feels crappy and is acting out, but the other part of me knows I can't let him get away with it, because he's a smart kid and will use the "high" issue to his advantage at other times. He wants to be treated like a normal kid and that is what I do.

After our bg#'s came down all it took was a little phone call from Chad to let him know he needs to help out around here and being the oldest is a big responsibility because he models behavior for the others. Once he had a convo with him his attitude seemed adjusted. We've had a few 'issues' today but nothing nearly as bad as yesterday. I'm hoping this behavior keeps up for the rest of the week, because it's just the kids and I for another 6 days, and there is no way this mom is dealing with another day like yesterday.

Turning down candy?!?!?!?

What kid do you know of that turns down candy? Today while going into church the kids were offered peppermint candies, Clifford immediately said "No thank you, and pointed to his diabetic bracelet!" It's a weird sight for people when a kid turns down candy. He has learned very well over the last year and a half. At Bible school he told his teacher that he was not able to have the bread with them for a snack because he was diabetic and bread had carbs in it.

I'm not a big meanie so I let him take a piece of candy to save for another time. He decided instead to save his candy for Chad when he comes back for annual training! In addition to knowing what not to eat, he's also a sweet kid, when he wants to be.

We're BACK!!

It's been awhile since my last post. Summertime is crazy busy, Clifford get's extended visitation with his dad, (one week each summer month) and those weeks happened to be almost back to back. It seemed like they were never home! However now it's my turn to have the kids for a good stretch and I've got them for almost 3 weeks straight! We are having our summer vacation at Chad's mom's while he's away for Annual training with the military! It's been an interesting few days here in our world. Some words to describe it hectic, headaches, non-stop, but most importantly fun, entertaining, memory creating, and worth while. D on the other hand has been a thorn in my side. It started with crazy lows, which couldn't be brought up for nothing. The kid had 65 grams of carbs uncovered to treat lows, and still managed only to get up to 96!! That told me to decrease his insulin for the increased activity levels. So the next day I went ahead and decreased. It is working wonderfully! His numbers are within range. But we now know that watermelon is an evil sucker in D land on #'s. He had a slight high the other night and the only change was watermelon.

Now that high bugged me but what bugged me more was a low of 56 at 4am!!! His 12, and 2am check was fine, 102, and 154. Now that 56 came out of nowhere. Thankfully the big man himself was looking out for Clifford, because he woke on his own to let me know he felt very dizzy and sea sick! So we treated with not 1 but 2 juice boxes, and a pixie stick. Seems like a lot of carbs and sugar huh? But with my experience the other night from his dropping and not coming up much I felt it was necessary. I also expected him to be high in the morning with a treating at 4am. But nope, we were 140 at breakfast.

D is trying to be a butt on our vacation but we're not letting it spoil the fun! He's been running, playing baseball, jumping on the trampoline, and has done a bunch of swimming! The best part of Cliffy's vacation is he met a new friend who also happens to have diabetes! Clifford and Lenny took to each other right away and had a blast together. He got to see Lenny's pump and how it works. They even both gave rufus a shot at snacktime the other night. Although I personally think they gave him quite a bit too much insulin (60 units!!). All in all it's been fun. I've been kept busy which is a good thing. I however do miss my Chad, (yes MY chad) but we'll see him in 2 weeks!! So until then we're going to have fun and not let D get in our way!

Diabetes Break

Clifford is on a week long visit with his dad, so there is no D in the house, and it just feels un-natural. For the most part I'm doing okay with not worrying "as much" about how his numbers are and what's going on. It's hard not really knowing his numbers until he get's back, other then asking Clifford on the phone and getting a short "eh good, and high" response.

So how do you enjoy a Diabetes break? I still have moments when I wake up in the middle of the night a bit concerned that I need to go test him, then I realize he's not home. So then my mind wanders wondering if he is getting tested and what's going on. I've just come to the realization that a break from Diabetes is not really a break at all. I still think about his numbers and wonder how they are. I still forget he's not home and think I need to go test him. I still out of habit look at the labels on everything and start counting out the carbs, then remember I don't have to. You'll even hear me mention just how much sugar and carbs are in certain things because I sit there when I have a moment and read the nutrition labels, just for fun, I guess.

It's hard to really write about anything surrounding diabetes when he's away as I'm not dealing with the day to day. I however deal with the non stop feeling of D. The same feeling you get when you send your D child to school for those few hours during the day. You might not be dealing with all things D, but you still are dealing with it inside.

I'm doing my best not to worry, but really how can you stop thinking about it?

Low after low after nighttime low....

Diabetes has really decided to 'test' us this week. Cliffy's numbers have been beautiful since summer vacation started. He's been playing outside like crazy when he's home and the added activity has done wonders for his numbers. We've been within range since the end of school (80-160) with exception of a few highs, and other times when he's not home. Those high's however have occurred after a long night of nighttime lows and treating those lows.

Since Sunday we've had lows 3 out of 5 nights this week already due to increased activity during the day. While exercise and activity is great for Cliffy we run the chance of running low also. It's definitely tiring when after a long day I go to check him before I go to bed and it beeps with a low number. The hardest part is having to wake him up to treat him. I've talked before how pixie sticks work wonders for these times, but we were fresh out after the 2nd night of lows, so it was juice time. After what seemed like forever of trying to wake him up, he woke still half asleep and drank some juice and ate a few cheerios.

Upon waking this morning he remembered none of that. The downside is the mornings he was low were followed by a high of 200-250. It's definitely a smack in the face when his numbers have been wonderful. Even after a 'treat' of a chocolate brownie one night he was 182 waking, and steady throughout the night. The 182 was a victory for me, especially with the brownie and having to really guess the carbs in the brownie to cover with insulin.

It's been a tiring summer so far, but it's been worth it to know he's been safe, and his numbers have been great, giving less of a chance to D to reek havoc on his body!

Diabetes Vacation

I took a 'mini' vacation on blogging and talking about Diabetes. Reason being is I just get burnt out talking D on a daily basis. We still live with and deal with D daily, but sometimes I just get tired of talking about it. For the most part D has been being good since the start of summer vacation. We went a week straight with no number higher then 172 ( A WEEK!!!!) that is a huge accomplishment in my book. Now since Clifford has been home this week our numbers have been awesome as well, all pretty much within range, except one higher waking number due to morning hormones, (Damn you hormones, I can't control you....)..

Yesterday however we had all lower end numbers with quite a few lows, 3 lows during the day and one overnight low of 66! I could absolutely, no matter how hard I tried wake the boy up. At one point I thought I did as he responded finally by opening his mouth and letting me give him pixie sticks, he even sipped on a Capri Sun as well. However this morning I asked if he remembered waking up last night and he had no idea of what I was talking about.

I was just a wee bit bitter last night when the low hit during my bedtime check of him. I was tired, only slept a total of 2 hours broken the night before, I had laid everything in place in hopes that the twins would sleep through the night and BAM 66! I may have expressed said bitterness with a choice of words normally not spoken. By 11:30 we were only up to 85, however instead of treating him some more, I did some quick math in my head, he can up around 19 in 30 mins, so my thinking was check in another 30 he should be up possibly another 20. And low and behold at 12 he was 121, he actually came up 24!. The 121 satisfied me and I laid down for some rest.

These morning hormones are killer to me because I cannot possibly control how his hormones are released and what havoc they will reek on his numbers. Thankfully he was only 165 at wake up time. The victory to me and well worth the lack of sleep even in my zombie like state was seeing him in the morning happy, unaware of what happened the night before, and more importantly Alive!

So don't mind me from time to time if I don't have a post for a few days, perhaps a week. I just get burnt out talking D 24/7.

Forgiveness....

While reading my book yesterday the one chapter got me thinking. It was about greeting the day with a forgiving spirit. It really had me thinking about those I thought I had forgiven, and those yet to be forgiven, aka Diabetes. It necessarily doesn't have to be a person you must forgive in order to set yourself free. It can be something that you detest so much it pulls at you from every direction.

I wrote down a few of the quotes that I really enjoyed in there and would like to share it with you all. "When I give forgiveness, I free my own spirit to release the anger and hatred harbored in my heart. "By granting forgiveness, I free my spirit to pursue my future happily and unencumbered by the anchors of my past. While I really love these quotes for other aspects of my past. I am however uncertain if I've reached the spot to forgive D for entering into our lives. I really do not enjoy the resentment, and hatred that I carry with me. It's making me feel tired, and held back from reaching my full potential with everything in life. This part of me knows it's not healthy to harbor these feelings for this disease, but it's so easy to. It almost took my sons life, not once but three times. It's very easy to speak ill about D at any given point.

However I feel I need to release these feelings towards this disease in order to move forward with our future and in order to move forward as a more effective pancreas for Clifford. So today I am offering my forgiveness to Diabetes.

I forgive you for entering into our lives through my son. I forgive you for taking control over his body, I forgive you for being a royal pain in the hiney ALL the time. And most importantly I forgive myself for not always being perfect, I do the best I can and that is all that I can ask for.To quote another quote from my book " I realize today that it is impossible to fight an enemy living inside my head". "By forgiving myself I erase the doubts, fears, and frustration that have kept my past in my present".

I believe if I can forgive D, I can therefore open the door to forgive anything and everyone that has yet to be forgiven, or appropriately forgive those that I had forgiven in the past. Forgiveness is a gift to be given, not a gift to be asked for.

In case you are curious as to the book I'm mentioned a few times now, I highly recommend it. It is called "The Traveler's Gift", by Andy Andrews.

Love / Hate relationship

It took me awhile to summon up just the idea of writing this post. Diabetes and I have a Love/ Hate relationship going on, and I will explain to you why I feel this is.

Before Diabetes, I wouldn't have guessed I was low when I was shaky/ dizzy, and just not feeling right. However last night I felt all of the above and decided out of curiosity to test myself. I was '73' which is considered by all "normal" for a non diabetic, but I felt like crap, and decided to "treat" myself. I ate a pixie stick, and went on with my business. In a short while I felt 100% better. So therefore there is the little bit of "love" I will show to D. I thank D for teaching me to look for the "signs" of a lower blood sugar.

However I also have a HUGE 'hate' relationship with D as well. This 'hate' relationship was even more amplified last night while I had to pry my sleeping child's mouth open, not just one time to 'treat' him but twice. To my non D readers, "Have you ever tried to shove sugar down a sleeping child's mouth"?. It's not fun, let me tell you. Clifford refused after numerous attempts by me to wake up. Now let me start by saying he wasn't dangerously low, but he was lower then I would like to have him at only 10pm. When I went to check him before my bedtime he was '86'. This would be a wonderful # during the day, but at nighttime it upsets my stomach. I then decided to give him a pixie stick to tide him over. After I'd say 5 mins of attempting to wake him up, I had to do what any good mom would do when trying to shove sugar down their sleeping child's throat, get him to slightly open his mouth, and what I like to call "Fish hook" my finger on the side of his cheek to keep it open enough to pour the pixie stick in, all the while he is sleeping. After I got that completed I felt confident enough to go to bed.

Now I don't know about you but I surely believe that God has entrusted in me a 6th sense of sorts, to just have a feeling that I need to test Clifford. However last night I think he offered up some assistance to awake me so I could do it. My neighbors or whomever it was woke me up with a car parked outside our house about 40 mins later, and they would not go away. It was annoying enough to wake me up completely, then for some reason I decided I should go check on Clifford. Once I got up, and looked out the window, the car decided it was time to leave. After testing him again he had only come up to 90! Again an awesome number during the day but at night nope, no thank you. I again had to pry open his mouth and pour another pixie stick down it. Thankfully the rest of the night was rest, until 4am when the twins awoke, and I decided to check on Clifford before going back to sleep. With the beep of the meter it was like a ton of bricks hit me, '232'. REALLY?!?!?!?! By this time the pixie stick really had no effect on this because I retested 30 mins after treating the '90' and he was at a nice 131.

Now apparently the ugly dawn phenomenon decided to rear it's ugly head. After the night we had, and the forcing sugar down his throat, D couldn't let me have at least one victory with a nice waking number, instead he was 213 at breakfast. Well you know what D, I did have a victory, he woke up to greet yet another day! I kept him from dropping lower, and God was on our side to awake me to check him when he was only 90! So ha take that!

Behavior and Diabetes....

Have you ever noticed your child having overly obnoxious behavior as in being more whiny then normal? Perhaps throwing a tantrum over something you think is very silly. How about lashing out with rude words and phrases at you and siblings? Well this sort of behavior is normal for kids of all ages with or without D.

However there are times I can tell Cliffy is either high or low based on his behavior alone. When he's high, he tends to be more whiny, more easy to throw a temper tantrum, especially over nothing at all. He is more grumpy, and crabby when he's high as well. Besides having a high blood sugar is no fun at all, you get a headache and feel down right icky, and worn out. When he's lower he has overly obnoxious behavior and tends to be downright rude and disrespectful.

But like with everything else D related I don't let Clifford use his diabetes as an excuse to be bad. He's a smart kid and if I started letting him do that he would act up and blame it on D all the time. I've had many talks with him that start either with, "Go test yourself, then we'll talk", or "Just because your (low/high) doesn't give you the right to act up. Trying having that convo in public around others. "Just because your high doesn't mean you can act like that to me"... The looks are priceless.

I fully understand some of these behaviors are increased in intensity due to blood sugar's. However I do not let him use it as an excuse. It goes with he can do whatever he sets his mind to D or not. I want him to feel like a normal kid, and we talk about the actions and how he doesn't get a free ticket to being disrespectful.

What to accomplish before the Apocalypse.....

With Judgement Day now rescheduled until October 21st, 2011, I got to thinking what I wanted to accomplish before it gets here. First off I see it happening more like my picture, but eh, that's just me. Secondly I would prefer it wait at least 6+ months into 2012 so I can accomplish one of my bigger things to get done before said apocalypse, but that's a personal one and it's secret ;).

Now we really don't have a lot of time until Oct 21st, 2012, so I better get cracking on what I want to get done. The twins will be turning 1 at the beginning of October, so that's a big one. I think a cure for Diabetes would be awesome before the end. Also a nice visit to Ireland would be super as well. I would like to get a new cute dress, a dress that I can wear now being Non pregnant for the summer, and perhaps some new sandals. A new bikini would be nice as well, but I need to get a tan first, no one wants to see Caspar walking around.

Now with all fun and games over with I really do not believe Judgement Day will happen on Oct 21st, 2011. And it's a little kick to Christians everywhere for ONE person to claim he knows when it is going to happen when there is technically only one person who actually knows.

"No one knows about that day or hour, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father

Diabetes and Insurance...

We've had our battles in the past and have come out on top, with the most recent being a pharmacist boo boo that took 6 days to fix. Yes 6 days until we had in hand all our monthly diabetic supplies that keep Clifford alive. They were lucky that I make sure to stockpile and had all that I needed to get us through until the pulled their heads out of their bums and fixed the error.

So now this time it's the insurance. We asked about getting Clifford on a CGM because he's not always feeling his lows. He will feel himself drop, but not always his lows. He is also having random lows during the night only found on random checks, not scheduled ones.

This mama needs some sleep and so does our T1D. Just something to put our mind at ease a bit and help with these random drops. So what are we told, "Talk to the administrator that handles the insurance claims to see if it's covered". Well the admin finally calls back about a week later to let me know "It's not covered at all, they won't cover it", however you can purchase the machine for only $1200, and the sensors are $40 a pop and need to be changed what every 2-3 days.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA to you miss administrator because I refuse to be told that the insurance won't cover something I'm dead set on that my son needs. So I nicely said, "Okay you'll be hearing from me again soon" muahahahahaha (evil laugh).

Currently in the process of talking with said insurance company and having our Case Management team that handles claims that "are not covered" work on it. I'll update when things get situated. But insurance and diabetes is enough to give me a headache. It's not like a pain killer you can just deal with the pain without. Certain diabetic supplies and oh yeah INSULIN they need to what's that, yeah LIVE!