How Things Are Going

Well it hasn't been easy. There are good days and bad days of course. It's funny (or not so funny) how you really forget what it's like to take care of a newborn. I thought I was ready but having 2 throws me through the loop most days. We are still adjusting. I think you just have to hang in there for the first couple months. I've needed to remind myself that things will settle down, but it might take awhile. I'll find time for cleaning and exercising and spending time with Paul and maybe even a few minutes to myself here and there-- eventually. I'm holding out for November :)

One new challenge presented itself this week when we took Braden to the doctor. At his one month check he was still at birth weight. He hasn't gained anything in 2 weeks. The doctor basically told me he is starving and I felt terrible. She said to buy a pump and buy formula and start a new routine. I nurse on one side, feed him a 2 oz bottle of either pumped milk or formula, then pump the other side. When pumping I only get one ounce, which I don't think is too much. I am able to feed him pumped milk as a supplement every other feeding and formula every other time. Poor little guy. I felt a lot of guilt and wondered if I had done things differently if he would be doing better. Our new routine with pumping etc, isn't too fun, especially in the middle of the night. I hope at next week's appointment he will have gained some weight and we can decide where to go from there. I have read up and talked to LLL about increasing my milk supply. We are taking away the binky (for the most part) and trying to feed more frequently, hoping that will help increase my supply. I struggled with milk supply with Susanna as well but I thought it was just because I had to go back to work and was only able to pump once during the school day. I think the adversary has really tried to make me feel overwhelmed and guilty and hopeless. Thankfully, when I pray I feel a lot of peace. I might have to feed my babies formula. I might be one of those women who just don't make enough milk. All I can do is give it my best. It will be ok.

I am trying to be good with pictures. They grow so fast. Braden is a month old and Susie turned 2 and half on Wednesday. (We celebrate half birthdays in this house with half birthday cake!).

Susie has become quite the little mama. She is good to nurse her stuffed animals and dolls and change their diapers. 

Braden's first bath at about 2 weeks old (we waited for the circumcision to heal first). He doesn't like baths too much. 

We went to the dollar store and put together these "nursing bins." We have coloring, play dough, water colors, and stickers books in them. She can do these things by herself so it's been good. When I nurse it's this or cartons. 

She's getting away with more, that's for sure. Here she has taken all the pillows off the couch and is doing "canon balls". 

This is her -"hey mom! did you see that?!"- face.

Happy half birthday my girl! 

They are both out. So glad to have a helper.

 I would really like to blog about "how to help a new mom" so I can remember things I learning now to help someone else. I'm grateful for all the help and support I get from my family and friends. Reassurance and an encouraging word go a long way when you're taking care of a new baby. 

Welcome Little Braden

I love looking at this picture of my little family. I'm very grateful for my good husband and my TWO cute kids. For the baby story see below!

I really wanted to go in to labor in my own this time. I had to be induced with Susie because she was so late. That went really well but I wanted to see if my body could go in to labor on it's own. However.. my mom and sister had a window of time they could come down to help and Paul had finals starting a few days after my due date. So to make a long story short, we ended up deciding to be induced. My doctor said I looked ready and that inducing would go well so we scheduled it for my due date. They ended up being full that day so we went in the day before I was due. The hospital called at 6am Tuesday morning. Luckily my mom and sister had flown in the day before so we left Susie with them and headed to the hospital. When we got there I was dilated to a 2 so they decided to start me on pitocin right away. Let the fun begin!

My doctor came in an hour or so later to break my water. I hadn't had an epidural yet and so that was pretty painful. She decided to come back after my epidural and try again. By noon I had an epidural and my water broken so then it was just a matter of waiting. We waited and waited. I felt particularly tired this time around. I couldn't keep my eyes open for more than 20 minutes at a time. I made it to a 4 pretty quickly but then stayed there for hours! I think I was at a 4 from around noon to 6pm. After that I made progress quickly. My doctor had gone home for the day by the time I was ready to push so my nurse called to let her know I was ready. It seemed like she'd never get there! I was sure my nurse was going to end up delivering the baby. I pushed for about 20 minutes (3 of which the doctor was present for) and he arrived at 9:15pm. 

Holding my new baby for the first time was pretty amazing. It was a special experience with Susie, too. You don't expect it but when you see them for the first time, the feelings and emotions are overwhelming. What a happy moment! I will always cherish the memory of meeting my children for the first time.

At Arrowhead they have couplet care, which means babies stay with their parents the duration of their stay. Luckily I was still able to get a little sleep (not much though!). I was anxious to get home. Babies have to stay 24 hours after delivery for a few tests that need to be done. They said we could go as soon as the test results got back so we ended up leaving about midnight the following night. One less night in the hospital room sounded good to me! We drove home and showered and got a pretty good nights rest thanks to Braden. 

The next few nights were rough but since then he is doing a bit better. He will sleep well at night if he is held. We've started taking turns holding him, sleeping on the couch. Paul will take him at 11pm after he is fed and sleep with him until he wakes up, which is always around 2am. Then he comes and gets me and I feed Braden and then sleep with him on the couch until he wakes up again at 6am. Not too bad! I miss sleeping in my bed but we get more sleep this way. If we put him in his crib he wakes up more frequently. We want to help him get used to his crib so our goal is to use to crib for all nap times and at 4 weeks old, start putting him in the crib at night as well. We really like the Babywise routine so we are working on that and it is going pretty good.

For the first 2 weeks Braden was a fairly easy newborn. Not a lot of fussing, especially after I stopped eating dairy. Since he has turned 2 weeks old he has gotten fussier. Right now he is still doing better than Susie was at his age, so that's good news! I can tell his tummy bothers him a lot. When he starts falling asleep he will often start crying randomly and I can tell he is in pain. I can hear lots of rumbling in his tummy and lots of spit up being swallowed again. We are keeping an eye on him and discussing it all with our pediatrician to make sure we are doing everything we can to help him. Poor little boy!

I have had a lot of help with the 2 kids so far. My mom and sister Olivia came the day before Susie was born and Mom stayed 9 days. It was heavenly. Olivia watched Susie while we were all at the hospital and that was so nice. She had to leave a few days after Braden was born but Mom was able to stay longer. She spoiled me rotten the whole time she was here. Back rubs, hot meals, cleaning house, not to mention getting to hang out! It was so nice. (She always brings surprises when she comes.)

When she left Paul only had a few more days of finals, which we survived. Then he had a week off! Yay! It's been wonderful. I hope he can always take some time off of work when we have a baby because it has been so nice to tag team everything for awhile. Paul is a great friend and support too so it makes things so much easier when he is around. He is starting rotations in 2 days so hopefully I do ok on my own! I know it will take some adjusting. Paul will be at his rotations (his first one is at a Banner hospital pharmacy) Monday through Friday 8-5, which leaves only Saturdays for him to work. That means Sunday will be our only day together. At least he will be home in the evenings with not much studying to do. 

It's true that newborns aren't easy but it is helpful to keep in mind that things get easier as they get older. We will find a new groove, get into a new schedule, and things will get back to normal. With that in mind I am enjoying my new little boy. We love him so much and are so grateful he is here.