CD 30

I really have no idea what my body is doing this month.  Well played, PCOS. 

Soooo I figure I'll test in 10 days.  Which is around when my period has been coming. 

I have had some odd lower abdominal cramping and a feeling of tightness.  Maybe a cyst?  I don't know. 

Peter is continuing his three year "phase" of testing us.  Now asks "what will happen if I..." Or he does something wrong, we tell him not to and his consequence and then he does it.  HILARIOUS PETER.  If I don't stroke out you owe me a case of wine when you turn 21. 

I am off to eat a giant fudge sundae, since I can't drink and I am stress eating so I don't beat Peter like a drum. 

CD 23 stolen time

James is napping and Peter is wrecking his room.  I am taking a quick ten on this glorious Last Day of Bowling League.  THANK YOU.  THANK YOU FOR BEING OVER, STUPID BOWLING LEAGUE.  Mr. loves it and I like for him to have fun and get a break and recharge blah blah but I look at Tuesdays like  Just What Clusterfuck Will Happen Next.   8 30 a.m. til 10 30 p.m. is no damn joke.  Mr comes home all fresh and jolly and I am either passed out asleep or traumatized from solo bedtime. 

James is getting molars and is super clingy and pitiful and I held him most of the night.  Which sounds sweet and cuddly and in fact can be sweet and cuddly but it's not the best sleep ever nor is it enough sleep when Peter is getting ready for FULL ON PETERNESS at 7 a.m. 

Sooo still no sign of the O.  Hellooooo?  O? Who knows?  Maybe it will be another 40 day cycle, the last one was 40 days and the one before that was 46,  so we'll see.

We got a new stroller and after James wakes up I am going to take them on a walk, even though it is not even 40 degrees today.  I want to take them walking every day now. Or try, since I guess it depends on how well Peter will listen.  If past experience is anything to go by...poorly is how he will listen. 

James can climb on and off the couches and chairs now.  He also got a good start on taking apart our bench and handed me a washer from the leg.  So that's awesome.  Dear James of the Future,  NOT FUNNY.  Don't do that. 

We are almost almost almost done nursing. He is really just comfort nursing now for a minute or two before bed.  He gets pissed when he actually wants milk and there is not much there. 

Well, I better go get El Nino, we are going to make peanut butter cookies.

Tomorrow ( otherwise known as CD 18ish)

Tomorrow night I take my last prescription prenatal. I'll pick up some otc ones, but it feels sad to stop.  I know that is weird.  I remember when we found out about James and I had my pack of pills on my bedside table.  I'd think, every pack is a step closer to this being real.  It was a tangible way to see my baby coming closer and closer to real.  And then a nightly reminder that I am taking care of him and also me. 

I am not a sentimental person.  I don't really care when James or Peter grow out of a size, or become more independent.  Not in that "ooohhh mah baybee is soooo big  sunrise sunset" way.  I am always excited to see them change and learn and become more their own person.  I have no problems throwing out cards or drawings or outgrown clothes. I cheer when toys get packed away and toss loved yet trashed books.  I don't need stuff, I have THEM. 

So it's weird that a little foil backed packet makes me feel sad. 

James was completely, heartmeltingly adorable tonight. When I told him it was time for bed he went back and forth and back and forth from me to Mr., giving us hugs and kisses.  Oh, it was precious. 

Peter is in a froth of excitement, we are finally moving forward on our retaining wall and fence and that means CONSTRUCTION IN OUR VERY OWN YARD.  Peter is totally ready and is wearing his yellow hard hat and carrying his toolbox. 

James has another word.  First was Mama, then Dada.  now it's "go". Which is completely appropriate, since the boy never stops.  He loves to slide and shouts "goooo gooooooooo gooooo!" And off he goes.  Run run run.  My baby that is hardly a baby.  Running to keep up with Peter. 

CD 15ish

No news to report.  We did the deed this morning in case I ovulate at all early.  We are having a lot more fun with it this time around.  No pressure, just I guess normal.  Well normal-er.

We are both feeling comfortable with whatever happens.

We did a three hour each way trip to Maryland yesterday.  Peter was in underwear and even fell asleep, with no accidents.  We stopped once on the way there.  We put an overnight diaper on him for the drive home so we could put him right to bed.

I guess I would call him conditionally potty trained.  No more diapers during the day.  he is interested in wearing underwear to bed but I told him he would have to go a whole month with no accidents during the day and then we could try at night.  occasionally he wakes up dry, but that is the exception.  I know we will have to take him to the bathroom at least twice a night.  Maybe at like..11 and 3?  I don't know.

Our 15 year old cat is not doing very well.  He is peeing everywhere.  It is pretty smelly.  He is getting more keep to himself-ish.  And laying all over the laundry to be washed and peeing all over it.  So we are grooming him more often and switched his food. But 15 is 15.  In all honesty he is kind of a gross cat and always has been.  We got him from Mr's sister who moved to where she could not keep him.  He is kind of neurotic and forever humping our other cat.  And in his sprier days was an incorrigible food stealer and garbage picker.  Thank you Sim.ple H.uman.  

But he is still really nice, just gross.  We always liken him to that uncle everyone has that says "pull my finger" and teaches your kids to pick it and flick it.   

CD 12ish

We're still in it to win it.  So we'll see if I even ovulate this month.  I have to run upstairs and get Peter, he is playing in his room while James takes a nap.  Jamie was up most of the night with his teeth and so Mr. and I are burnt like toast.  I tried to get him to stay home today since I was beat and 2 parents at 25% is better than one.  No deal.  He had too many meetings.  Mr. Fancy.  haha I am having a meeting right now with some lukewarm coffee.  I still have a bunch of crap to do like bake muffins and wash dishes and do laundry and clean the bathroom. 

I'm sitting down though.  Just for a few minutes with my coffee. 

The super big news here is... yesterday Peter pooped on the potty!  All on his own.  It was a monster too, thank YOU, Jesus  that I did not have to clean that one off the carpet. I was letting him run around naked ( not that I have much choice since he strips off ALL THE TIME) and he told me he had to go( !!!!!) and then went!  HELLLLL YEEEEEEEAH. 

Anyhow, I have used up my teeny bit of freedom.  I better go check on my little nudist.

CD 2 ish

Easter was weird and I was just horribly spotty and crampy and AF crashed the show in the night so I guess for cycle purposes this is CD2?  I'm not totally sure.  We had a lovely Easter and the boys baptism was perfect.  Absolutely perfect.  Maybe I cried but I would never admit it and lose street cred.  Peter and James were angelic, so perfect, so sweet.  It was amazing( and unlikely ahhaha we all drank mimosas before we left because we were sure it would be a mess).  I hope I will always remember how innocent and trusting and beautiful the boys looked at they were baptized.

I made an awesome brunch if I say so myself.  And I do, because I did.  I made bread and dyed it in pastel colors, pink, yellow, and green. Then I made ham salad, tuna and pbnj.  I made sriracha and smoked paprika deviled eggs and a coffee cake and double chocolate banana muffins and a jello mold.  The jello got too soft because I put it in hot water for too long, but other wise everything was perfect and the set up was so easy, I had all the food set out in under ten minutes.