Chelsey

How I feel right now...

'A flame sparked in my heart while looking into your eyes. . .
Catching fire on my lustful flesh
Fire eating my skin
Crawling across it leaving burns forever more,

A beautiful fantasy, woven together by lies
Holding you tight, remembering on my neck your breath
I’m lost not knowing where I end and you begin
My heart in your hand, a hole gaping in my chest where you from it tore

You walk away like you were never here
A smirk on your face, that I wish I could wipe away
It kills me, everyday knowing it was I who let you in
But decisions were made, and I know now you aren’t who you said

In my heart your distant, but in my mind your still near
Flashes of memories when I saw you today
I don’t want to remember where I’ve been
Honestly I wouldn’t care if you were dead

You’re the worst ive met, and the last ill believe
You’re the poison in my veins and the sin in my being
You’re the knife to the scar and the bottle of the pills
You’re the marker of the grave, and the natural born liar

I try now with all my might everyday without you just to breathe
But its hard when in your eyes everyday im seeing
Only another wasted year until
The water quenches this lust filled fire.'

Happy New Year....or not

I just got a text from a new friend of mine telling me that a friend of her’s just committed suicide. I’m still getting to know her, and I in no way know the friend. But still for some reason, the news hit me rather hard. The best way to describe it would be to imagine one’s self to be walking on a side walk, and then suddenly for the side walk to end…but you unaware keep walking and fall into the unknown. I’m lost right now, and I don’t know what to do, or what to think. I feel helpless. This New Year is supposed to be a reason to celebrate, yet this family isn’t. Which brings me to the question. What’s the point of life, if one can end it in an instant like that. Really, what’s the fucking point.