And They LIVE Happily Ever After

There are so many quotes and sayings about how miserable marriage is and how terrible husbands can be.  And maybe that’s how it is for some. I have to say that that’s really too bad for them. My marriage is such a source of joy and happiness for me, and my husband is a wonderful support and a light in my life. I love my husband and my marriage. This is not to say that marriage isn’t work. It surely is. Even ours. But I am of the opinion that when you work for something, you value it more. If something is handed to you, little or no responsibility is felt for it. But when something is worked on and worked for, it is miraculous the commitment and the devotion that results. And suddenly, when it needs help or care, the desire to heal it increases.

I am lucky in that my husband and I are strangely almost perfectly matched. Which is not at all to say that we are the same—quite the opposite, actually. We just seem to fit together—like pieces of a puzzle.  Two pieces—two halves—of a whole. Neither of us felt complete until we found the other. And after four years, it’s amazing that our love for each other continues to grow. When we got married, I thought I could not possibly love him more. And perhaps at the time I could not. But I know now that after these four years, the many adventures and the many more quiet nights alone together, the various homes we’ve had, and the home we find in each other, having only each other and then having a daughter together, that my love for him will continue to grow forever. I think the more you know someone and the deeper you understand them, the more often you serve them, and the more days and months and years you LIVE for them, your capacity to love that person grows.

I didn’t know much about truly loving another person until I met Steven. I, admittedly, was obsessed with love and falling in love. I was in love with being in love. But when Steven and I began dating, things were different. I wanted to be a better person when I was around him and even when I wasn’t. And this time, it wasn’t selfish and self-serving. It was all about him. And I could not believe how happy this true love made me. It was better than I’d ever imagined. And it still is. <3

I am so blessed to be sealed to him for all eternity. He’s my best friend. And I know there’s no one else in the world that can make me as happy as he does. I wish that every couple in the world knew the happiness we know every day.

I love you, Steven. Happy Anniversary. I look forward to an eternity more of the joy I feel everyday being your wife. To our happily ever after.

"I love thee, I love but thee With a love that shall not die Till the sun grows cold And the stars grow old." - William Shakespeare 

A Grown Up Is a Chile With Layers On." --Woody Harrelson

Grown up… What is grown up? Am I a grown up??

If there are:

60 seconds in a minute

60 minutes in an hour

24 hours in a day

365 days in a year

And 24 years in my lifetime (so far),

Then I have officially lived

756,864,000 seconds as of today, my 24^th birthday.

In that time:

I have graduated high school—STOP!! Choose a career.

A tree has fallen on my car. Pay $5,000 if not insured.

I have had major surgery. Pay $10,000 to the Doctor.

I have met my true love. STOP!! Get married.

I have given birth to a daughter. Take a LIFE tile. (Also pay $$$ to the doctor and the diaper salesman and basically everyone else on the planet—Geez, kids are expensive!!)

I suppose I am still at the beginning of the game of LIFE—I haven’t even STOP!! Graduate[d] College. Or STOP!! Purchase[d] a house. yet. I have a good three quarters of the board left!

But even in my small amount of playing time, I have learned that LIFE isn’t about the destination. As cliché as it sounds, it really is about the journey. Sometimes you roll a “Lose next turn.” as I have more than once before. And sometimes You get caught speeding –Pay $500 to the Policeman. But that’s okay because other times you roll a Play with your kids. Take a LIFE tile. And you get to Go on a Caribbean Cruise. Pay $2,500 to the Travel Agent. Totally worth it. These are the things that make life rich. It doesn’t matter if you live in the Victorian Mansion or the Split-Level Apartment. And although LIFE sometimes makes us think otherwise, it doesn’t even matter if we end if in Millionaire Estates or settle in Countryside Acres.

What matters most is what our beloved prophet Thomas S. Monson has counseled us: “Find joy in the journey.” We must find happiness, for that is our purpose. “Adam fell that men might be and men are that they might have joy” (2 Ne. 2: 25). Even the prophet Gordon B. Hinckley advised, “In all of living have much fun and laughter. Life is to be enjoyed, not just endured.”

So I plan on it. :)

"I guess when it comes down to it being grown up isn't half as fun as growing up." The Ataris

In My Daughter's Eyes...

Whoever said, “Don’t sweat the small stuff” was definitely a man. Being a woman and a mother, I can honestly say that it is impossible not to sweat the small stuff. I feel like I want to do everything, I want to do everything well, and I want to do everything well by myself. I, like most other women, want to be super-woman. Unfortunately, only about half of everything (most times less) gets done and the rest is left for tomorrow. Hence, the extensive gap between my posts… However, as Scarlett is about to turn one, I am re-committing myself to our blog. This way, as I attempt to keep up with our tiny new runner (Scarlett), everyone else can too.

Whoever said, “Don’t sweat the small stuff” was never a parent. “She’s got symptoms x,y, and z… Do I go to the doctor or wait it out?” “Is it normal that my 11 month old doesn’t have any teeth yet?” “Why isn’t she sleeping through the night yet? Am I doing something wrong, or is she just a high-maintenance baby?” “Am I spoiling her by giving in??” There is a lot of small stuff in dealing with babies, and I know I sure sweat it all.

Whoever said, “Don’t sweat the small stuff” never had a baby girl. Because if he had, he would have known that she must be the best dressed little thing on the block with the cutest hair bows and matching shoes and pacifiers for each outfit. And that’s not to mention the sweet little bracelets, bedding, and blankets… Let’s just say, having a baby girl is definitely bad for the budget.

I wish to correct that man and say “Pay attention and revel in the small stuff!” When your baby gives you her very first open mouth kiss, or risks her first step walking toward her doting dad... When she gets her very first tooth at 11 ½ months… When she gives you that smile that tells you she loves you too, or when she laughs so much that she gets the hiccups… The way she likes to put her pacifier in cups—empty or full—and how she loves to meet new friends of every age… How she still needs you to rock her to sleep at night, and how nursing her is your and her special time together… Her sweet curly hair that she could only have gotten from Grandpa, and how her eyes are the same weird blend of blue and brown they’ve been since the night she was born…

Sweat the small stuff. Sweat it and love it. And don’t blink because suddenly it’s gone…

I can’t believe it’s already been a year. What a whirlwind it’s been. I love you, Sweet Pea. Always. Forever. No matter what.

I love my mother as the trees love water and sunshine - she helps me grow, prosper, and reach great heights. ~Terri Guillemets

Masquerade: Painted Faces on Parade!

Costumes, disguises, and dress up—oh my!! Being a Bohls means that any excuse to dress up—be it in formals or costume—is taken. And Halloween is definitely a family favorite—right up there next to Harry Potter. And I suppose our love for costumes is due in part to Steven’s mom’s incredible ability to create the most amazing costumes I’ve ever seen. I mean, it’s fun to dress up and play a character for a night, but when you look “JUST LIKE HIM/HER!!”—that’s when it goes from fun to awesome.

But that kind of gets me thinking: We are all in some sort of costume at some point every day. It may be the diligent student costume, or the go-getting athlete, the dutiful employee, or the charitable volunteer, but how many of us get to really be our true, unreserved, unabashed selves for even a moment in the day? I am not trying to say that everyone is completely fake and that nothing is honest about the way they are—certainly each of the roles one plays is a part of that person’s true self—I just think it’s rare that we can release all our inhibitions, let go, and just be honest and true to ourselves. We try so hard to hide certain things because we think they’re embarrassing, or goofy, or even shaming. Or sometimes we think that we’re expected to be a certain way, maybe because you’re “the funny one” in the family, or “the brain”. Or we think that whatever it is won’t be accepted.

But the truth is that true, unconditional love allows us to be our true selves. Whatever we do, those that truly love us—Mom, Husband/Wife, God…—will continue to do so, no matter silliness or sin. True love is not only forgiving and accepting, but embracing of our true selves. We must remember that this earthly state is not our true form, but a temporary fashion—dress up. Our true form is one of perfection—the way He created us.

“God loves us the way we are, but too much to leave us that way." Leighton Ford

“You can understand and relate to most people better if you look at them--no matter how old or impressive they may be-- as if they are children. For most of us never really grow up or mature all that much-- we simply grow taller. O, to be sure, we laugh less and play less and wear uncomfortable disguises like adults, but beneath the costume is the child we always are, whose needs are simple, whose daily life is still best described by fairy tales."-- Leo Rosten

MOM 101: Introduction to Mommyhood

It’s been a month and a half since Scarlett was born and I can’t help but wonder: “Where does the time go?!” I feel like Steven gets home from work in the evenings and thinks, “What did she DO all day??” because it would appear that nothing got done, but I SWEAR I did things!! I fed the baby, and changed the baby, and rocked the baby, and played with the baby, and etc… Yes, the house is a mess and dinner is not even started—but I DID something!! And it may seem that those things should not take 8 hours, but they do, and I do not regret putting off those other things for these.

I have decided that being a mother is THE HARDEST, most time-consuming, labor-intensive, and emotionally-draining job in existence. I mention this not to complain but to add that it is also by far the most rewarding job in existence. It is worth every minute of hardship when your baby smiles at you with such deep and pure love in her eyes, or lights up when she sees you come into the room, or quiets at the sound of your gentle voice.

And speaking of labor-intensive… I chose to do a natural birth without any pain medication. It was such an amazing experience! I had always felt like I was led to it through the Spirit and I’ll admit when I was first coming to the decision I was scared out of my mind! I mean you grow up hearing things like “Childbirth is the WORST pain you will ever feel” and the like and as you go through your pregnancy you hear “Get the epidural AS SOON AS THE DOCTOR WILL LET YOU!” or if they know you’re going natural “Wow! You’re brave… I could NEVER do that…” In all truth, OF COURSE they could! That’s what a woman’s body was MADE to do. You’re at a hospital, with all kinds of medical staff watching over you—you’re not going to die. And if you’re talking about the “pain” involved—ask anyone who knows me how high of a pain tolerance I have and they’ll tell you it’s close to non-existent. And I want to tell the world:

Natural childbirth is not painful.

Granted, I wouldn’t describe it as comfortable, but if you are emotionally prepared and you concentrate on staying relaxed, I am telling you it really is not the traumatic experience everybody makes it out to be. I used a self-hypnosis technique known as HypnoBabies, and despite the fact that I wasn’t very faithful in my practice toward the end, I was able to incorporate and use those tools throughout my labor until I was pushing my beautiful baby girl out. And I am convinced that my labor was all the faster for my ability to keep myself calm and relaxed (I checked into the hospital at 6:30 at 5cm and my baby was in my arms by 9:45.).

Not to mention the inner-strength I feel for having accomplished such an amazing thing completely on my own! I mean, of course my midwife and some nurses were there—and of course so was Steven, but the only one HAVING the baby was me. And the only one PUSHING OUT the baby was me. And the only thing ASSISTING me with the “pain” birthing sensations was ME!!

I am not a hippie/ uber-naturalist. I don’t necessarily buy organic produce because I think it is somehow better than the much less-expensive regular produce. I occasionally use cloth diapers, but only for the money savings. I do not discount the modern medical advances we have today, and I am going to immunize my baby girl in a few weeks at her 2 month appointment. Some things are better with interventions. But others—giving birth being one of them—are so much more rewarding when left alone.

So, to all those women out there considering a natural birthplan, I 100% recommend it. You will feel empowered by your own strength for having done it, and you will be giving your baby such a wonderful gift of a drug-free birth.



"At that very moment time stopped, as it is one to do when present past and future collide. When ones existence ceases to be measured in days hours and minutes but instead in the immeasurable quantity of life events." –Pushing Daisies

A Grand Adventure is About to Begin...

As we wait for our little Sunshine to come to us, thoughts arise in mmind about the journey that is pregnancy. And how everyone on the planet wants to share it with you...

Random strangers come up and feel compelled to touch your belly, and for some unknown reason, this is acceptable. Don’t bother asking or caring about my personal space. No, no. Go right ahead—touch the bump… Tell me that I am “THE CUTEST pregnant woman” you have ever seen! That I am “All belly and that's it!” and that I am “Just still so LITTLE!", and touch it.

Not to mention I think I have answered the questions "Oh, when are you due?"; "Is this your first?"; "Is it a boy or girl?"; and "Do you have a name picked out?" at least a couple hundred times... I have considered making a shirt that says:

“August 17.

First one.

Girl.

Scarlett.”

and wearing it every day until she’s born.

Another thing I have tried (very hard) to find amusing and not annoying is that mothers everywhere—ESPECIALLY strangers—feel the need to give their (unsolicited) advice on pregnancy, child bearing, and child rearing. "Oh, with MY pregnancies..."; "...I would have DIED without my epidural!!"; "Natural is the ONLY way to go!"; "Well, you don't want to spoil them by..."
And I have to just smile and nod politely whether or not I agree.

(Please note: I do appreciate advice from mothers I know, love, and trust.)

And everyone always seems to ask “ Are you ready?” and when I say “Am I ever!” they all have a different idea as to how to encourage baby to come out. From castor oil and raspberry leaf tea to rigorous walking and the same way you got baby IN... A thousand different suggestions from a thousand different people, wanting to “help” me and share their knowledge with me…

I just have to laugh.

"The Most common craving among pregnant women is not to be pregnant." Phyllis Diller