Wednesday, July 23, 2014

It's been... a while.
I no longer write to vent, no longer write to be heard.
My life no longer revolves around the things and people I have lost, but rather, around my Creator and all His wonderful creations.
I dwell in His love, for His grace is sufficient for me.
It gets tough on bad days, but it is something I hope to live by.

It's been a long and bumpy ride, one that's been filled with an overwhelming mix of pain and love.
Here I am in my early 20s and madly in love with my life - my Creator, my lovely family, friends, communities... and there are way too many (much) things to be thankful for.

To the ones I have loved and lost, thank you for the unconditionally love.
Each time I fall, I am reminded of my imperfections.
Each time I fall, I am brought to knees in front of my Saviour, whose grace never ceases to amaze me.
Each time I fall, I learn to love a little better.

Such is life.
We fall, we pick ourselves up, we move on, we love better.
Yes, I still have a soft spot for Darwin and his evolution theory.

All in the name of hindsight.

Well, I must be a little insane.
Insane enough to believe that I must be so lost in God that the only way a boy can find me is to find God.
God must have smirked while others tried to convince me that I was being unrealistic and impractical.
After a series of (un)foruntate events, I find myself together with one of the most God-fearing man I have ever met.

Yet, it is not exactly a bed of roses.
I find myself being sucked into a whirlwind of emotions.
I experience the most ridiculous mood swings and get horribly emotional, just like how I used to.
I trust a little too much and expose my vulnerabilities too easily, just like how I used to.
In short, I am being way too human, just like how I used to.

Before this, I probably had a bursting ego thinking that nothing in this world can make me feel as much.
After all, I have had my trust broken, lost a couple of people who meant the world to me.
What else is there to feel and to experience?
There is. And it is being human; being able to feel again.
To feel the joys, the pains, the frustrations that once felt so far away from me.

This, aptly sums up what we have.
Something that goes beyond the walls I have built up through the years.
Something that reminds me of who I truly am.
Something that makes me feel human.

And I rejoice today, knowing that I am perfectly human.


You're my downfall, you're my muse.
My worst distraction, my rhythm and blues.


G.