Belly Dancing??

Here is the video. I did end up using www.youtube.com. Fairly simple and free; and I hope you will all be able to enjoy the video.

The video is about a minute long and most of the activity is in the first 30 seconds. I think it's pretty hilarious to see! It sure is crazy to feel. Brad always gets a kick out of seeing my stomach go into convulsions, even when he's sitting on the other side of the room.

Towards the end the baby calmed down and I tried to coerce it back into motion by pushing on my stomach. All it did was shift position and you can see a bulge to the left of center.

I think this video was taken around 9 pm. The baby seems to have two very active times of day - about 9 am and 9 pm. And I swear I didn't drink any caffiene the day of this video or eat much sugar! Most of the time we find it entertaining, but sometimes I wonder if it's foreshadowing the vigorous activity level our baby will have outside the womb, too.

Well, I hope this isn't like an ultrasound picture where most people look at it and don't see the same thing we see. Hope you can enjoy it like we get to! Let me know what you think!

Video

I took a video with our digital camera of the baby bouncing around inside my tummy. It is so funny to see! But I think it's too big to e-mail or attach here. I don't know how to work much with digital videos...photos I can manage a little bit. Anyone have advice?

3 weeks to EDD

(There are actually two new posts today - this one and the one below. I started writing "thank you" last week but didn't get a chance to finish it until this morning.)
Well, today marks the "three weeks to go" mark...as much as it can at least. Last night Brad and I decided what to name the baby: Hiccups. It works for either a boy or a girl, don't you think? And it's not likely a name that 5 other classmates will share with it. Although nicknames are a little hard - we'll just insist that no one tries to shorten the name to "hickie" or "cups" or "cuppy"...Any one of those is pretty bad. Everyone must use the baby's full name.

Middle names don't work well with it either. Yesterday I was ready to add "the third" in nice majestic looking roman numerals. Hiccups III...even though we really are starting a new tradition here. But after the third bout of hiccups in one day yesterday we were convinced that Hiccups had earned its name. It's kind of like how the native americans named their children, right? "White horse", "Loved by the buffalo", "Inflicted with hiccups". (Sorry if that was un-pc.)

Just kidding. Although, the baby really did have hiccups three times yesterday! Outrageous!

:)

Anyway, three(ish) weeks to go and we're getting ready...as ready as ready can be, I suppose. The nursery is primed with diapers, wipes, burp cloths, some sets of clothes, blankets and sheets which have all been washed (and I dreamt last night that I shrunk the clothes horribly and nothing fit the baby). As we prepare the physical space in our home, the space in our hearts is getting more and more ready to welcome this child into our lives, too. It's amazing to be part of this miracle!

Thank you!

I felt a little vulnerable after clicking "publish post" on the last update, but I'm so glad I didn't delete it, as I had thought of doing. It felt good to really just sit down and think through all my thoughts, and try to make sense of the range of emotions. But I wondered what was going to happen with all those thoughts going out into "cyberspace"...

I am so appreciative of the women in my life! It was wonderful to read your responses or talk to you on the phone and be encouraged and affirmed by you. Thank you for lifting me up with your words to me and I'm sure with some prayers too.

Over the last week I have felt a change in the anticipation. Nervousness is subsiding and I'm becoming increasingly excited to meet this little person who has been sharing my body! I'm eager to discover if it is a boy or a girl and begin to get to know him or her. Sometimes my mind jumps ahead to months down the road or even years and the thoughts of life with a toddler (or teenager) scare me. Then I remember to focus on each day as it comes.

That was something that dawned on me last week after I had written the last post. I was allowing fear of the (distant) future, which at this point is incomprehensible to me, to rob some of the joy of the present and more near experiences. Rather than worrying about what life will be like when this baby starts walking...or talking back to us...I need to take one day at a time. I know it probably sounds really simple, but it came to me like a huge revelation one night!

I think pregnancy is another one of those journeys that God has given me to help me learn to rest in Him and rely on him for strength and comfort. For example, we pray for the health of our baby each day and yet we won't be totally assured until he or she is born. It is so easy to worry but much better to leave it in God's hands...since he's got the full control anyway. I guess motherhood will be another journey like this, learning these truths more and more fully...over and over again.

Approaching The Big Black Hole

Anyone ever approach a huge life-event and find yourself singing "It's the end of the world as we know it..."? I can't tell you what group sings that song (any help here?) but at the end of the that chorus or phrase they do end up singing "and I feel fine".

Well, I once in a while get this tune in my head...but I don't always make it to the "I feel fine" part. The truth is, I don't always feel fine. I think both Brad and I are fluctuating back and forth between the excitement and nervousness of having a baby. Tomorrow is the one-month count down mark! In a sense I can't believe it's already this soon and I'm ready to be done being pregnant. In another sense I don't feel ready to bring home a baby and be a mother for the rest of my life. Good thing we've got about a month to go yet, right?

Sometimes I feel guilty that I don't feel more "giddy" or on cloud nine like some mothers-to-be are at this point. It's not that I don't want the baby or care for it. Goodness knows that's not the case. I think it's more the fear of the unknown and the raw intimidation of the responsibility and life-altering changes that are about to be made. Maybe some women approach the birth of the child unshaken by fear and overwhelmed with joy at welcoming a new life into the world. Maybe others are caught up in how cute babies are and that they finally get to have one of their own.

Perhaps I'm partly grieving, too. That sounds more morose than I intend it to. What I'm trying to say is that I know life is going to change and that as sure as I am that I will love and cherish some of those changes, other changes will involve a loss of some sort and I anticipate that I will miss some of those losses to a certain extent.

So forgive me for not having written much lately. I'm coming to terms with these emotions (rather than feeling guilty for them) and didn't always feel it was something people wanted to read about. And sometimes there was little else to address regarding pregnancy.

I read a horrible book that helped me realize it's Ok for me to feel this way and that I'm probably not alone, although I feel like I am. I say the book is horrible because I don't think I could ever recommend it as a whole to anybody. But there were definetly parts of the book that I appreciated. The author's perspective was that there are a lot of misconceptions and lies about the experience of pregnancy and cultural expecations placed on pregnant women that baracade them from expressing or aknowledging and accepting the truth of their situations (be it marital changes, financial pressures, emotional challenges, career and social status realities and so on). It was a very secular point of view, very pessimistic almost as she shared her horrible personal experiences. She is very hard on the american medical community and their standards as a whole, hard on the american culture's lack of appreciation and recognition for what mothers contribute to society and on the lack of governmental structures to support mothers like many european countries do. Some of what she said was interesting but was left unsupported by any research or way to know she wasn't just sharing an uneducated opinion.

Anyway, I guess I don't need to write a whole book review, beyond what I already have. But what I appreciated was that she approached the idea that because (according to her) american culture typically portrays that pregnancy and childbirth are serene, fairy tale times of life, any emotion other than joy and elation indicates that you are a "bad" women or mother.

So I try to be honest with other people. As a substitute teacher this year I meet many teenage girls who enjoy going through the list of typical questions: When is the baby due? Is it a boy or a girl? Are you excited? - That's when I say "Yes, but sometimes I'm a little freaked out." Occassionaly the girls ask "why?" but most of them respond with this look that says "I've never heard that (or thought that) before, but I guess it makes sense." And I stopped worrying if they were judging me as a bad mother-to-be.

Sometimes I express this same mix of emotions - of course I'm excited but I'm also honestly a little scared - with adult women. I think it shocks most of them. Oh well.

Well, that's enough for tonight. I'm glad I have this place to ponder and reflect a little bit - hope it didn't make you uncomfortable...

Baby Hiccups

First...Remember to click on "save". How hard can this be?

Well, I've heard of the fabled fetus hiccups and up until this week I didn't think I had shared this experience with little Baby B. My cousin, Laura, had baby hiccups (well, the baby had them actually) when I was with her once in Michigan and she let me see what it feels like.

Now I know for myself. Everyday it seems, sometimes twice in one day! Poor kid. At least the books say it doesn't hurt the baby like it hurts us when we have hiccups. But still, I pity the little guy/gal. It can't be fun, being all scrunched up and likely upside down and then having diaphram spasms...It's only mildly annoying to me, but definitely doesn't hurt me. So I guess it's one of those pregnancy things that I can just be entertained by while it lasts!

Computer woes

I know - It's a goofy looking picture, but I've never had the privilege of parking in a "special" parking spot before!

I just did one of those stupid computer things...I just wrote a nice LONG and flowery post about my trip to Michigan last week, highlighted with pictures and everything. I went to preview it and saw one thing I wanted to change. I don't even remember what exactly I did, but when I attempted to go back to the editing page to fix it a little warning bubble popped up and said going back will delete any unsaved changes. Well, I hadn't changed anything yet so I figured I was good. Turns out I hadn't SAVED anything yet either. So - blip - just like that it's all gone.

So for those of you who really enjoy a long, detailed post...sorry! You'll have to add the flowery imagery yourself (I'll give you some clues in parenthesis). For those of you who hate reading through all the garbage to get to the point, you're in for a treat - just skip the parenthesis!

Basically, I spent last week in Michigan visiting my family and some friends while Brad was at the cabin hunting. It was a wonderful week (add in details about why it was wonderful) and I loved being able to reconnect with my parents, sister and brother-in-law, some extended family (they spoiled me with baby showers) and some high school friends (add in details about how blessed I am to have so many godly women in my life, etc.).

Some highlights were meeting my first second-cousin on my mom's side. Ian was born the day I arrived to my cousin, Scott, and his wife, Kelli. (Add in details about visiting and holding a four-day-old newborn and the flood of emotions which that caused in me - both of excitement and a little trepidation of having one of our own soon.) And my cousin and friend from my dad's side, Laura, was due with her and her husband's first baby while I was there, and she went into labor the day I left, so I didn't get to meet him - Bennett. (Add in details and memories about how we grew up sharing and enjoying many things and experiences together since we are only two weeks apart in age and have been friends since we can remember...And how fun it's been to be pregnant at the same time. I got the good end of the deal with her being two months ahead of me - she got to prep me for each stage that was to come!)

Here's a picture of the two of us at the shower with my dad's side. I am about 31 weeks along and she is 40 weeks. I think she has the cutest looking pregnant belly I've ever seen! :)

Also, I got to indulge myself, and introduce our baby, to the treats of the Dutch/West Michigan cuisine: pea soup (followed by a chaser of Tums), apple dumplings, banket (spelling?), locally grown and picked-with-love apples, and tuna casserole. Sadly there was no balkenbrij to be had. (Add in details about how, yes, it's a strange food and Brad would have strongly objected to my subjecting our child to balkenbrij before it can make its own food choices but it's in my womb so I get to taint our child with my eating preferences! Add smiley face.) (Also add in ponderings about whether or not the food is actually a Dutch tradition, or just something I associate with it...) And, yes, I love food and enjoy eating.

I think the last thing I wanted to include was how fun it was to share this child's night life with my mom and sister. (My dad and brother-in-law got in a little bit, too, but my mom and sister really got into it and it was fun for me!) The baby is at a very active stage now, and pretty predictable. Usually in the later evenings, and almost anytime I lie down to rest, is when the baby starts to squirm, wiggle, jolt, kick, punch, or just migrate (it seems) from one area to another. Mom and Deb had fun watching my abdomen be molded and jolted as the baby moved and, of course, feeling the baby move around. They also got to hear the baby's heart beat - for those of you who don't know, at this point in pregnancy the heart beat can be heard by just placing your ear on the stomach and finding the right area. Of course, I don't get to experience this since I can't put my ear on my stomach. (Add in whatever flowery details you want here.)
It's amazing how long I can still make a post even after trying to summarize and cut down on what I originally said. For those of you who stuck with to the end...well, hope you enjoyed it anyway! :)

Wow!

Well, I'm sorry to anyone who has been checking the blog lately for news. There obviously hasn't been much! This month has been so busy with a variety of things that I rarely even thought of what to post.

Things are progressing well. I'm in week 30 already - only about 10 to go. I'm getting really antsy to get moving on the "nursery". Right now it is a heap of everything. We have the crib set up and are using it as a storage place for all things baby. The next step will be to move the computer/office area to the already crowded "guest/tv room". Not sure how that is all going to work out, but it has to so it will. Then we can organize the baby stuff we've accumulated and do a little bit of decorating.

I think we will keep the decorations minimal. We will put up a border and maybe some curtains (which are purely aesthetic - they serve no functional purpose other than to tie together the Classic Pooh theme) and possible some wall decor if we get some. I actually thought about trying to be artistic and painting my own wall hangings on small canvases...but that could be altogether futile and frustrating. We'll see.

Otherwise we will leave the nursery rather simple. We have a crib and a glider rocker but need a changing table/dresser. Half of the closet is already claimed, so hopefully we won't need more than half the closet for this tiny one. I can't imagine needing more, but I've already been suprised at how much stuff is recommended or necessary for this baby!

Well, I'm off to MI on Saturday the 4th and Brad is off to bring home the bacon - Elk-bacon that is. He'll be hunting elk at the cabin next week. Let's hope he comes home with a big (and tender-juicy) one!

Playful moments

We've started to be able to "watch" the baby moving around! I've had a number of times when, lying in bed reading a book or magazine that is rested on my abdomen, I feel the baby jolt and see the book or magazine "hiccup" into the air. Last night I started playing with the baby - I'll get to that in a moment. Suddenly we could see this little bulge migrate across my belly. Of course there was some comment about it being like "Aliens" - don't take offense, child!

So this is how I was playing with the baby. I had read that at this point the baby can be felt just by an examination of the belly. So I thought I'd give it a try. I started pushing on different areas of my stomach and suddenly I felt the baby move or kick. It was like playing hide and go seek with it. It was fun for a few minutes! I found that it seems to be easier to find at the top of my belly, rather than the bottom. At least last night that's where it was hanging out!

The Beginning and The Continuation

I lost a friend last week. Kay was about 65 years old and the first friend I had in Grand Junction. We went shopping downtown a few times together and out for lunch or coffee and I just really enjoyed her company. She was a person who asked how I was doing and I knew that she was sincere - just the usual "Good, thanks" didn't cut it with her. I appreciated knowing that she truly cared about me; and I truly cared about her.

Last week she suffered a major stroke and she is now gone. It is such a shock and hard to come to terms with. My heart aches for my own loss, but also for her family, who we know very well from church also. She was always doing something with her daughter or her grandkids, and I can't imagine their pain.

What struck me last week was how I have this new little life growing in me and it takes a solid 40 weeks to develop to fullness and be ready to enter this world. And yet life is fragile at every point! I sense how fragile this little one's life is...But I'm reminded of how fragile everyone's life is. It takes 40 weeks of preparation to "enter" and only a second to "depart".

Our pastor said something that really struck me in church yesterday. He said that it was evident that God really wanted Kay at that time. Within an hour of reaching the hospital the doctors said there was nothing they could do for her. God had called her home. I thought that was such a comforting was of thinking about her sudden death. I know that she was ready, at least spiritually, to meet him.

I read an article in one of the recent banners about dogs. It seems random but hang in there. At the end of the article the author told a story about a Christian man who was sick and near death but was afraid of what dying would be like. He was sure of his salvation, but still death was new and scary. He told his doctor this. His doctor's office was attached to his home and the doctor went to the door that connected his office and home and his dog was sitting on the other side of it. The doctor explained that his dog and his children had never, ever been permitted into his office. They always had to wait for him on the other side of the door. He said "this is what death is like". Then he proceeded to call his dog to him, inside the office. His dog sat at the threshold and looked at him, a bit confused because he knew he was not allowed in the office and had never been there before. The doctor called him again and still the dog hesitated, although getting eager and starting to shake a bit, as dogs do when they're excited and confused. Finally, the doctor crouched down and called the dog into the office, to himself. The dog leapt through the door and landed happily in the lap of his master. (I imagine that the doctor got lots of doggie kisses at that moment, too! And there was probably some pretty wild tail-wagging going on!)

Isn't that an awesome picture? It helps that I like dogs anyway, but it's a great analogy of what we might feel when we face death, and are sure that it is our Master who is calling us and will catch us in His arms when we cross that threshold.

So I'm a little out of sorts as I feel the joys of life's beginning growing within me, and yet grieve Kay's physical death and absence and am sad that she will not get to meet my little miracle. But I can't call it the beginning and the end, because I know it's not the end. Kay has just crossed over into a room that we don't get to enter yet. She has eternal life and this is just the point of continuation for her. What an assurance we have!!!

The Saga of the Leg Cramps

Whew - I guess time has flown by lately! It hasn't seemed that there was much interesting news to talk about after the ultrasound. Things just keep growing...And the baby keeps moving! That's a weird sensation, by the way. Sometimes it feels like rapid-fire shooting in my stomach; other times I feel this steady pressure in one area and if I touch it I feel a hard bulge - booty? head? Don't know...Sometimes I want to talk to the baby, but I don't know what to say and then feel silly when I try! Did anyone out there regularly talk to their baby in-utero? Brad likes to give an occasional geography lesson or history lesson. I find it quite entertaining and educational myself. It really surprises me sometimes how much knowledge he has stored in his head about certain things!

Anyway, the saga of the leg cramps: Of course they started out mild and unobtrusive to my sleep (yes, they have only afflicted me during sleepy time). So of course, when people ask how I was doing I got tired of saying the usual "great, thanks" and avoiding the mental and emotional gymnastics I sometimes wear myself out with... So I started mentioning to a few people that I had leg cramps at night once in a while, but that they were really mild and not a big deal. Well, after "gloating" about my good fortune and lack of physical ailments during pregnancy the cramps turned severe.

One night it all came crashing down. I woke up at about 3 a.m.: my left toes were pointed straight down, my calf muscle was completely spasmed. I tried and tried to flex my foot in order to stretch my calf out but it was like it was paralyzed. I tried deep breathing and mental relaxation, but that didn't last long. I think my deep breathing sounded more like "lamaze" breathing because Brad woke up. So he helped me get it worked out and promplty fell back asleep. In my relief I stretched out my legs, moved my feet around in circles and intended to roll onto my side again...but that muscle cramped right back up and even tighter than before. So the cycle continued and eventually moved to the other calf and even to the muscle on the outside of the leg - don't know what that's called, anyone want to help me out? Poor Brad - it must be just as annoying to be woken up by someone else's leg cramps as if they was your own...OK well, maybe as annoying, but definitely not as painful.

A similar event happened the next night. I knew it was important to be stretching my calves because I knew this often happened to pregnant women...But just stretching wasn't enough. So at my doctor appointment last week she said get more calcium and potassium. Also, dehydration and exhaustion can make it worse. So I've started making it a habit to eat half a banana, drink lots of water and occasionally have Brad massage my calves before going to sleep. I still need to go get some tums to supplement the calcium, but so far the banana and water seems to be working. I've had almost a week of peaceful sleeps since the last cramping craze. Oh - that Dr. appointment was on the same day that I had my small group pray for relief from the cramps, so I credit that as part of the remedy also! Praise the Lord!

Rollercoasters and Ski Lifts

I love rollercoasters! Kinda strange for a non-thrill-seeking person like myself, but I absolutely love rollercoasters. It has been somewhat of a sad summer since we didn't visit any amusement parks with the youth ministries but if we had I couldn't have gone on them anyway. The prominent signs about being under 54", having heart conditions or being pregnant restricting people from rides has been etched in my mind since my first rollercoaster ride. That's when you know it's going to be a good one! If they don't have any warning signs and let just anybody on, well, it must not be that great and it belongs at the county fair. I like those rides, too. It's a nice time to relax. :)

Speaking of warning signs...When we were in Flagstaff we went to SnowBowl (the ski slopes) to ride the chair lift to the top of the mountain. It's a pretty cool view from the top - you can see the Grand Canyon and some other things. But I think it's a money maker for them. Talking to some folks at the church we went to there they said some years the slopes are only open for a week because they don't get enough snow, so this is a great way to operate the business year long and make a killing on toting people up the mountain and sending them back down. It was enjoyable, definitely. Not spectacular, though.

So what I was going to say was that after we had purchased the tickets and waited in line for about 20 minutes we approach the ski lifts. As we stand there chatting with Rick and Brittany I notice a 8.5" X 11" sign posted on a pole: "You are currently at 9,500 feet elevation. When you reach the top you will be above 12,000 feet. If you are pregnant or have heart conditions, you may want to reconsider you ride."

Lovely. So now I'm second guessing myself as to whether or not this is an unwise risk to take for either myself or the baby. Had I never seen the sign we would have gotten up, enjoyed the view, returned and never given it a second thought. Now I'm wondering if it's worth it, what kind of risk it poses to the baby, etc.

Thankfully, my dear husband and good friends walked me through the evaluation of the situation. It came down to this: We live well above sea level here in GJ had already spent 3 nights camping above 8,000 feet. So it wasn't going to be a huge shock to my system, like going from sea level or something. Also, once we got to the top there wouldn't even be a demand for any physical exertion. Plus, my doctor had not been worried about me hiking and such at higher elevations - she just said "remember that if you are out of breath, then your baby's out of breath. But if you are getting enough O2, so is the baby."

So we went up and I didn't think about it again...I guess they just have to have those signs as a safety issue for themselves. And I felt fine the whole time...I'm glad I didn't sit that one out.

Oh, blessed Thermarest!

I know this will sound strange to anyone who loves their soft mattress at home...but Thermarest does wonders for a pregnant woman's back! The few weeks I've been waking up at home feeling achey and if I catch myself sleeping on my back it gets sore and uncomfortable. I've tried sleeping on my side and putting a pillow between my knees and different sizes of pillows under my head, but when I wake up in the morning, I just want to get up and stretch out the soreness.

Solution: found!

Over Labor Day weekend we went camping with the Roeda's (wohoo!) which required sleeping in our tent for four nights. Normally the first couple nights of camping I spend tossing and turning, adjusting to the narrow thermarest and confinement of my mummy bag while trying to keep my pillow from slipping away from me. (This is all in addition to the need to use the rest room at least once during the night, pregnant or not --- which is something I never have to do when at home...only when camping. How annoying.) (Let me assure you that I do enjoy camping and the sleep frustrations are really pretty minor - I still sleep pretty well when we go camping. Except for the bathroom thing - I hate that!) So anyway, I have to be honest and say that I was a little nervous about how sleeping on the ground would go, with my changing body and everything.

RESULT: It was GLORIOUS!!! I can't believe it still - I slept better than I ever have before when we've been camping...and I slept better this weekend than I have the last few weeks in my cushy bed at home! (PLUS - I never once woke up with the urge to go to the restroom - AMAZING!) I felt comfy in every position on the thermarest and never had an achy back if I woke up after sleeping on my back! I was wonderful.

Now, I don't think that I'll be opting for the thermarest on the floor at home over my bed with Brad...The aches aren't that bad yet!

First Glimpses

We had the 20 wk ultrasound for our first baby on Monday. It was absolutely amazing! And just to calm any curiosity, we didn't find out if it's a boy or a girl. There was a moment when I was tempted to change my mind, but I'm glad we didn't.

We brought along a video tape (Brad sacrificed a Bronco's game...We don't have many blank vhs' sitting around now that the DVD era is in full swing) and were able to get most of it recorded. It was so cool to see this little child squirming around inside of me! I've been feeling it move frequently, but seeing it move was so great, and something both Brad and I could participate in. We could see it moving its legs and arms, "waving" (its arms were tucked around its head and then it would throw its arm forward, like an uncoordinated wave "hello"), sucking its thumb (we think), opening and closing its mouth, turning its head to the side and back to the front, then "bobbing" its head forward and back. It was so cute looking, even though ultrasounds tend to give fetuses an alienish look...

We're thankful, too, that at this point everything they are able to see from the ultrasound looks good and we're right on track for the "esimated date of delivery" - January 8. Our doctor was sure to tell us that there are some birth defects that the ultrasound won't show, but from what she could tell, our little one looks healthy. Praise God for this little miracle!

Halfway!!! Whoa!!

This is from www.pregnancyweekly.com

Welcome, Kristin
20/40 weeks
This is day number 139 and you're 20 weeks pregnant!
You have 141 days or 20 weeks left, and are 50.0% of the way there.
Baby's age since conception is 125 days or 18 weeks. You are due on 1/8/2007.

Baby Development

Your baby is now about 5.6 to 6.4 inches and weighs approximately 9 ounces. Your baby is now big enough that you may be able to tell when he or she is awake or asleep based on the level of activity. You can also see a lot of movement in the ultrasound image. Looking at ultrasound images of other babies can help you figure out what you're looking at when you see your baby's image.


Woohoo!! It is pretty crazy that we're already halfway. Although I guess we didn't really know we were pregnant until about 6 weeks in. But it's still cool to think about being at the half way point. It's kinda scary, though. It's going sooo fast!

I broke down this week and switched over to almost all maternity clothes. I still have a few "regular" pieces that fit, but they are mostly "grungy clothes" like event t-shirts and exercise shorts. My yoga pants still fit, but it's too hot for those now...But they are the most comfy pants I've ever owned, so I hope I can fit in them when the weather cools down.

Tomorrow we have the ultrasound! I'm so excited. We are going to wait till the birth to find out the baby's gender...Unless the child doesn't give us a choice. I'll be happy with either a boy or a girl, and I don't mind having a neutral baby wardrobe and nursery. Besides, after it is born we will have it's whole life to dress it in boy clothes are girl clothes. It's kinda strange, I guess, because I usually like to be prepared and be able to plan ahead for things. So choosing to not be able to plan is not normal for me. But I think that if we find out tomorrow at the ultrasound that the baby is healthy and that it is a ___ (fill in blank with appropriate gender) I will just get impatient for the next four months. I do like a little surprise in life!!! And this is a simple and fun surprise!

Now, I know, everyone says, "It's a surprise whether you find out now or when the baby's born." True, but it doesn't work that way for me. I just don't want to know, and even though that's weird now - it seems everyone finds out at the ultrasound - that's how I am. Thankfully Brad isn't too adamant one way or the other. He would be happy to find out tomorrow (he's in the "it's a surprise either way" crowd) but he's willing to wait with me. Isn't he the best! :)

Neighborhood Bliss

I love our neighborhood. It's not a ritzy sort of place by any means, and granted there are a few details I would change about it. But in general, we have found a great place! We live on a dead end street with a large grassy park at the end of it. It's almost as good as the neighborhood I grew up in! :) (Sorry, but you just can't beat living on a dead end street with a church parking lot taking up half of one side, an elementary school playground at the end of the street, another school playground across from the church, and a public park across from that school. If we got bored riding bikes all over the parking lot and climbing in church's trees, we'd go play on the school toys. If that got boring we'd go to the other school (once we were old enough to cross the "busy street" by ourselves) and when we really got bored we'd get permission to go to the public park. Life was good. Oh, and no one had fences between yards so we could run the whole length of the street on grass. Barefeet, here we come!! It was bliss.

So this is a pretty close second. The yards may be smaller, and everyone has privacy fences around the backyards, but it's pretty good.

As an adult, here's what I'm excited about lately. Thursday night we had a neighborhood watch meeting. It was the first and there was a good turnout. It was great to see so many people that care about keeping it a safe place and knowing our neighbors so can keep each other safe. Now, there have been a few homes questionable activity going on, but thanks to the watchful and concerned neighbors that we have, those people are mostly gone. If only we can influence the landlords to keep those questionable-type people out of their rentals...

Then, last night, we had a street barbecue. It was good to meet a few neighbors that I've never met before. There are still quite a few that I don't know, but I'm glad to be able to faces and names with the houses I drive and walk by...And live next to! It's sad to me that so many people don't know their neighbors. How can you trust people you don't know? And why would you want to live next to people you don't trust. Granted, there's always a few people in your life that you trusted more before actually meeting them and then find out things you wish you didn't know...But for the most part I like to believe that people are just out to live their life and not get in anyone's way, just like me.

So, anyway, I'm just excited to see people out of their homes and talking to each other! Now, the only thing we need to add to this pretty picture is some sort of system to know who's coming and going from the rentals on the street. It seems that some people move out of the rentals over night and we had no idea they were leaving. And then new people move in again. I guess there's nothing wrong with being a little old fashioned and bringing by a batch of homemade cookies and an introduction...

Hormonal Meltdown

Well, I think that I can contribute extreme emotions to all the hormones of pregnancy, right? I'm going to anyway...Well, not completely. Today was a girl day, through and through. I got a manicure (a valentine's day gift from my one and only that I've been saving for the perfect time to use), went shopping for clothes and for home decor, and went to a fabric store to research baby room possibilities. The sad thing is that I did it all alone! What fun is a girl's day when you're by yourself? Well, I guess I wasn't totally alone. The "little one" has been energetic today! I can't believe how often I'm feeling movement from the mini-Bierma today. :) Pretty cool.

So as I was driving home from the fabric store my indecisiveness created a surge of hormones and I started balling. Not a good thing to do while driving in traffic. I just felt very sad. I missed my female relatives very much. Today would have been so much more fun with another girl!! I don't know why I didn't think to plan today's activities on a day when a girlfriend could come along. That would have been better. But after shopping for maternity clothes and really needing another female's opinion (and asking the store clerk as a last resort), then needing my mother's sewing advice at the fabric store - I just felt isolated from women!

Women of my life: know that you are loved and needed! Even if you are far away! Brad is wonderful, don't get me wrong. But he's not a girl. I love that about him, by the way, and I wouldn't want that to change - at all!!! He's loving and supportive and tries his best to act as my full length mirror (I don't know why we still don't have one!) but he's not a girl.

So I'm feeling much better, by the way. And a girl-friend is coming over tonight to help me evaluate my maternity purchases. I have a habit of leaving the tag on until I'm absolutely sure that I want to commit to the clothes, but that often takes a few days with some things.

How do these posts always get so long?

Visitors

Last week we had two very special days! Some of our friends from CA came to visit us. 4 adults and 4 kids (aged 7 mo. to 7 years, I think) hopped in an RV and drove from LA to GJ. They got here around 4 am and left a little over 48 hours later. It was a wonderful 48 hours!

It was so fun to see them after having moved away from LA a year ago. They are the type of people who welcomed us and were ready to be our friends right away. So seeing them this week was awesome. It never felt like we'd been away for a year. They didn't have any agenda except to see us and spend time with us. We played games, took the kids to the park, went wine tasting at a local winery (don't worry, I skipped that one and hung out with the kidos!), visited the CO National Monument, hung out at the Farmers' Market downtown and laughed A LOT!!! It was so great.

I can't say that enough. We had such a good time. I felt really loved, too, that they drove 24 hours total to be here with us for 48 hours. I think these are rare friends. Lots of people say they'd love to come and visit us, but I don't get my hopes up that they ever will. Hey, if they didn't come when we lived in LA and had every sort of entertainment available to suit anyone's fancy, I'm not going to hope that they would come now. But these friends came simply because we were here and we are their friends. There was no convenient reason or even a subtly selfish motive to come to Western CO to see us. Simply friendship. WOW.

Praise God for friends like them! Of course, I cried after they left. I think I've cried after every visitor has left. But it's always a bittersweet sort of cry. It's a cry that is mixed with emotions. There is sadness and emptiness because they are gone and we won't see them for while. And there is joy that we have such good friends and had such a good time. I don't think I even felt any relief that our house was quiet again. I rather liked it full and noisy and busy. It was one of those times when "shalom" fits to describe the world. It was as if for a few moments in time, everything was as it should be. Everything was right in the world. It was a beautiful time!

Now, let it be known that we LOVE having VISITORS!!! Our home may be humble, but don't let that persuade you against coming. And if pure friendship isn't enough to entice you out here to see us, let us be your tour guides and take you to experience the wonders of the western slope. We'll help you reach your "emotional threshold". (Sorry - inside joke with our CA friends from last week! He he he) Anyway, COME AND VISIT!!!

P.S. I'm very excited because Brad and I will be meeting up with some more friends who live in SoCal (San Diego, this time) in a couple weeks. I think they were officially our first visitors last year in our house. We are going to meet them half way and camp and hike together! So FUN!! I can't wait!

Ah, the joys...

I'm learning that there are many joys of pregnancy...and some annoyances, too. But let's start with the joys! I felt the baby move - for sure! It was very cool and very definitive. I had been feeling some strange things in my belly for a week or so, but easily dismissed them as gas bubbles or other digestive mysteries. Then, Sunday night, as I lay down in bed I felt this new feeling that was definitely not my body but a tiny body swimming around inside of me. I've heard talk of "the flutter" that women often feel. This was more like a somersault! I imagined the baby flipping head over heels (like I often did as a child in a swimming pool), bumping the tiny head and rear end on the walls of its little home - my belly! I've felt "Sparky" (so lovingly nicknamed by our junior high girls at church) a couple times today - just tiny little bops in my belly that stop as quickly as they started. I wonder what it will be like when this child grows larger and stronger and bonier! I'm really excited for when Brad can put his hand on my stomach and feel the baby, too. I feel like he gets left out a little bit right now!

Now for the annoyances. I have to pee all the time! I'm so sick of making trips to the bathroom and washing hands that I almost want to avoid drinking...But that's not a realistic option b/c I'm always thirsty. Plus I bought myself this cool new water bottle with some of the birthday money I got and it's so easy to just sip on it all day! Maybe it's just the fascination of a new "toy" but I'm really excited about this. But anyway, the biggest frustration is that my morning walking has been disturbed by this new "frequent urination" joy. It seems like my body over processes any liquid in my system as soon as I get out and start walking. The last few mornings I've gotten about 10 or 15 minutes away from home and suddenly have to bee-line it back to the house, cutting my walk a little shorter than I prefer and having to, very uncomfortably, rewalk the same thing I just finished. Who in the world would choose an out and back trail over a loop trail? That's the same way that I feel about a walk! I would much rather see new territory on my walk rather than have to turn around a come back the same way I came. So, needless to say, my walking route is getting altered for the time being until this problem goes away. It just started last week at camp, so maybe it will go away for a while! Hey, I can always hope, right?

Camp Redcloud

Brad and I spent last week (July 30 - Aug 4) at Camp Redcloud in Lake City, CO, with 11 of our middle school students from church. Camp Redcloud is a Christian Outdoor Adventure camp. In other words a "Christian Challenge Camp". And that is exactly what they did. I spent the whole week with the 7 girls, Val (another leader) and "Countess" who was the camp counselor assigned to us. We did everything together. Our days were filled with challenging activities, yummy meals (they had awesome camp food!!), games, quiet time and cabin devotions. The day was so full that when lights out came at 10 pm there was rarely more than 5 or 10 minutes of giggling and whispering before everyone fell asleep. It was an awesome week. I think that we all really learned a lot.


The activities were: horseback riding, high ropes course, canoeing, rappelling, low ropes course, power pole (a 30 foot pole that you climb up, stand on top, turn around and jump to catch a trapeze hanging 8 feet away in the air) and mountain biking. We also camp outside one night, and the last full day was spent hiking up to the continental divide. Pretty much everything we did either involved helmets, harnesses and safety ropes, or both. We were very safe all week, but fears and self-perceptions were definitely challenged. Plus it rained on us for almost every activity except for rappelling, so wills and attitudes were challenged, too.


There were lots of things that this camp did really well. One was applying a life and spiritual lesson to every activity. Most of the week was focused on getting past fears, learning to trust God when you're afraid, learning to find strength and courage in God when you can't do something on your own strength, and learning to set your mind to doing what you have to do. I loved how they didn't say it was so important to get over a fear of heights or fear of falling or whatever sort of fear the activity challenged. The point was to learn to push through your fear, lean on God and supportive people around you and don't give up. We practiced doing this in the context of physical challenges, but it was applied to life. Like when you have a job interview and you're totally freaked out about - you're afraid of failing, afraid of looking stupid, or just simply afraid. But you have to go in there and do the interview, relying on God's strength beyond your own and setting your mind to just doing what needs to be done.


They also helped us learn lots of relational lessons which I think the girls, especially, really took to. We had to constantly encourage and support each other, wait for each other, help each other. We couldn't leave anyone behind. Except for me! Being pregnant, I avoided some of the activities that had the potential of falling and causing trauma to the abdomen. Every time one of the girls asked "Why can't you do this one?" I explained "Well, if I were to fall, even though the harness would catch and save me, it might bash in the baby's nose. And I really don't want a pug-nose child." Then we'd kinda laugh and they'd let it be.

Ok, so it's maybe not so realistic, but I got tired of explaining that it just isn't worth it to risk my child's health and well being. It wasn't fear that kept me from the activities, but simple responsibility to protect the unborn child who is subjected to everything I do, eat, hear, breathe, etc.


Anyway, it was a great week and I hope that the students will really hold on to the lessons they learned and that we can help them develop their trust in God more this year. I'm so glad that we, as youth group leaders, were able to be there with them because now we know exactly what they went through, how they were challenged and how EVERY single one of them overcame the obstacles. We were part of the discussions and devotions and hopefully can draw those back in through out the course of this year.

Wasting time...

So I was given a little bit of grief about never posting anything on here. Well, I don't intend to get to serious about this until I learn how to use it better (which I guess won't happen until I start using it) and there is something exciting to write about! I'm not such a superiour writer, so writing about just anything might not be that entertaining for the general masses.

But as Rachel introduced me to this wonderful website of time wasting activities! She had a post on her blog saying what type of puppy she was so I thought I'd give it a try.

You Are a German Shepherd Puppy

Intelligent, quick witted, and a bit aggressive. You've got the jaw power to take a bite out of anyone you choose.

What Breed of Puppy Are You?

I don't think they know me very well...Or I just didn't answer questions very truthfully. But honestly, I dont think I'm that aggressive or readily take bites out of people, but maybe I have some self-realizing to do. None the less, it is entertaining, and I do like german shepherds. They're pretty dogs, smart and useful - and I'd like to think I'm the same way! :)

Here's another test I tried, although I wasn't sure I would post the results if they didn't turn out well! Who wants to admit they couldn't pass 8th grade science when they had to teach it for a semester and part of my degree certifies me to teach it? Well, thankfully (and I think I took a few good, and educated of course, guesses) the results turned out pretty snazzy!

You Passed 8th Grade Science

Congratulations, you got 8/8 correct!

Could You Pass 8th Grade Science?

Woohoo!!

Well, next time I need to dull the pain of boredom, I know where to go now!

Welcome!

This is my first, well actually second attempt at a "blog". I know - I'm way behind the times. I've enjoyed other people's blogs but just never cared to start my own. So I make no promises. We'll see how this goes and if it takes off at all. I suppose with a baby coming and all, we can use this as an update tool for those who don't care to get mass e-mails...

So, here we go!!!!