and i dun know how the hell did we end up in this kind of situation..
i think there's too much of misunderstanding between us..
and too much of talking about things in the past..
maybe when things happened, we shud try to let it go and concentrate on the future..
i dun know..
maybe it's me mishandling everything..
since when have i stopped caring?
since when have i lost the interest in you?
i'm doing all i can to show you how much u mean u to me..
whenever u need me, i will always be by ur side..
u said u wanted to meet up after midnight, i agreed..
i waited till ur msg before leaving home..
u said u wanted to spend the night with me, under the night sky, looking at the stars..
i went to pick you up when the time is right..
u went out with ur friends, and u said u are tired, not feeling well..
i came down all the way to wherever u are to pick you up..
are doing all these not enough? tell me..
these things i did, is only for you..
for you to know that, whatever happens, whatever u're going through, i'll always be there for you..
yes, i might nag abit when u asked me to pick u up or do something, but it's only for a while and i eventually will have a good time with you..
that's just a moment of, nk membebel je..
no matter how tired i am, i just dun want to leave you alone..
believe it or not, i would change anything just to make u happy and in order to meet you..
seeing you for at least 5 mins can just make me smile..
and yes, maybe i get angry at you more often..
but u think back, if u hadn't done anything wrong, would i ever get angry?
i dun even want to scold you, it makes me sad as well..
and i only get angry for awhile, well, looking at ur face just makes me smile..
it's like u got the magic to make me cool down..
and despite me getting angry, i still stood by you, trying to take good care of you..
when things happened, u can't always expect me to always pujuk-pujuk you..
there are times when i'm irritated also, i got feelings too..
then there was the call issue..
till now i think that has never been resolved..
i tried to call you whenever i can..
really, i tried..
i just dun know what's going on around you..
i told you to just tell me, not leave spaces between ur sentences and asking me to figure it out..
i told you i can never figure it out correctly..
u think i dun want to hear ur voice?
u think i dun want to talk to you after every end of the day?
but after everything i've said, i'm not saying that u are not doing anything..
yes u are trying to make this relationship work too..
there are times when u pampered me, when u help me put on a shirt, and me asking baby, asal u nk pakai kan i..
u replied, i nk manje-manje kan u tk boleh..
or when u cook food for me when i said i'm hungry and lazy to cook..
and that's when i irritate you in the kitchen, till u chase me out..
u know just typing about this has alrdy made me smile a couple of times..
we had such a great time together, where did all that go to?
(damned i'm just being bitten by a mosquito)
we had been together for more than a year..
we have act like small kids, know each other deepest secrets, doing the most ridiculous things together..
i wouldn't trade that for anything else..
u're the one that i love, the one i want to spend my whole life with..
i believe we are made for each other..
seeing how we just click at the beginning, when the green light turns on..
i've never felt so comfortable with other girls, like i do with you even before we got together..
next was u trying to make me close to ur family..
i'm trying, i'm trying so hard just like how u are trying..
i've told you its going to be hard..
it's hard for me to face them, it takes time..
u know what happened..
really, after what has happened..
i'm sorry if this is tiring u out..
but i'm really, really trying.. :(
u really have to understand me on this, put u in my shoes..
see the way it is in my way..
i'm alrdy doing things, it takes time to go up to the next level..
maybe, things are starting to backfire..
or maybe we are rushing things so little..
u keep telling me to go figure things out myself..
u asked me to ask myself what i'm supposed to do..
but how can i do that when im not a mind reader?
you put me through everything, but, you don't get me too..
we're both stubborn, let's face it..
but sometimes we need to understand each other better and learn from it but i can't do it without you..
lastly, i just feel like saying this..
u have too many guy friends around, and being you, u entertain them..
that doesn't make me feel right, if u know what i mean..
i really hope u know what i'm talking about on this part..
on my part, i'm really sorry for everything that i've put u through..
i love you more each passing day and i just want the best for you..
and i know sorry can't help much, it's just a word..
despite everything that has happened, everything i'm doing has you in it, u have a part to play..
after typing all these, i'm alrdy prepared to start afresh with you..
put behind all that has happened and we try over again..
i'm sure we can do it..
now it's ur turn..
there's this time-out between us..
i just hope u get back to me as soon as u read this..
i think till then, i shud give you some space..
Labels: dilemma
