Maybe it's the workload, but I feel so awful right now.
1) Schoolwork - disappointing 99% of the time. Maybe it feels worse because I don't have encouraging friends who'd study with me. Unlike in JC and sec school.
2) Friends - don't even talk about the lack of it please thank you. It's not that I didn't try. I did. If you don't click, you just don't. Period.
3) ...
K I'm sick of typing. I can't get used to this life. I thought I could live without human contact but um. I am obviously very ignorant.
Nonetheless, I am already stuck in this rut. Next semester I will be gone from this hell hole. I'll try my best to stay afloat this sem. Continue smiling, looking for people to talk to, pull up my grades. I guess whether or not you have people around you, you still gotta do what you gotta do. Can't be a whiny lil baby anymore. Never discount the importance of friendship though. I truly miss the good old days.
I'm strong enough to get through this. Just 2+ more months. Live with the lonliness. I'm sure I can do it.
HI. I'm so tired I can't even think of a title for this entry. Hmmm. Anyways, been awhile since I've blogged. But I'm in the mood for a rant now so yeaaaa
I'm TIRED. What's new. I'm juggling school, cca, friends, bf and church (not doing much in church except attending cell and service but still.) I feel so torn between everything. There hasn't been a moment this semester where I haven't had to rush. Being so pressed for time has made me more angsty/irritable than ever. I feel like a hamster running on a wheel. Whether it's rushing to school, to meet friends or to meet Jeremy, I seem to always have something demanding my attention. Every single moment. I need a break, a breather, I need another summerrrrr. Can't wait to fly off. I promised to make my NUS life better, and hopefully school will be more fun with greater cca involvement! I just pray I will meet the right people though, they make all the difference (refer: BEST SOCI TUTORIAL I EVER ATTENDED. Met my potential nus bestie there. Too bad it's a fortnightly class.) Aw well. Do I like what life is showing me? Not too sure.
I keep asking myself if I'm doing something morally wrong. Am I? Being selfish, yes, but both of us want to be happy at this point of our lives. Still. Still, Grace. It's for his sake, I know I should do the right thing. )::'(
∞Aug 7, 2010 12:20 AM∞
you're the closest to heaven that i'll ever be
∞Aug 5, 2010 2:27 PM∞
i don't feel like flirting
∞Jul 19, 2010 10:26 PM∞
I'm TIRED. What's new. I'm juggling school, cca, friends, bf and church (not doing much in church except attending cell and service but still.) I feel so torn between everything. There hasn't been a moment this semester where I haven't had to rush. Being so pressed for time has made me more angsty/irritable than ever. I feel like a hamster running on a wheel. Whether it's rushing to school, to meet friends or to meet Jeremy, I seem to always have something demanding my attention. Every single moment. I need a break, a breather, I need another summerrrrr. Can't wait to fly off. I promised to make my NUS life better, and hopefully school will be more fun with greater cca involvement! I just pray I will meet the right people though, they make all the difference (refer: BEST SOCI TUTORIAL I EVER ATTENDED. Met my potential nus bestie there. Too bad it's a fortnightly class.) Aw well. Do I like what life is showing me? Not too sure.
I keep asking myself if I'm doing something morally wrong. Am I? Being selfish, yes, but both of us want to be happy at this point of our lives. Still. Still, Grace. It's for his sake, I know I should do the right thing. ):
BREAK UP JUST TO MAKE UP
...is not how I'd envisioned this to be.
Either way it's going to hurt, ain't it? Moving forward is like driving right over a cliff. You can't be trusted. Things are unlikely going to work out. You're insecure, I can't see myself helping you. Getting off the car now, I'd have to walk back to civilisation all alone. Getting lost, feeling tired, all that pain. But what to do? Who's going to make that car drive us back to the city? It's almost impossible to ask for a miracle.mushy
∞May 31, 2010 11:42 PM∞
...is not how I'd envisioned this to be.
Either way it's going to hurt, ain't it? Moving forward is like driving right over a cliff. You can't be trusted. Things are unlikely going to work out. You're insecure, I can't see myself helping you. Getting off the car now, I'd have to walk back to civilisation all alone. Getting lost, feeling tired, all that pain. But what to do? Who's going to make that car drive us back to the city? It's almost impossible to ask for a miracle.
I love your songs. You're brilliant. In your own way. You're an artist and a realist, all in one. You're practical but entertaining. You don't bore me. I could survive on air just being with you. (This is the part where I divulge that we both laugh so insanely hard everytime we're together... We can barely eat after that. So much for the romance in that statement.) You make me feel like I'm floating on air. Cloud nine ftw. I listen to your pieces at night, they make me go to sleep. They don't make me cry but I love how they flow like liquid into my heart. I could go on, but I don't know where you're taking me. And I don't want to fall so deep because I don't want to drown in misery when you're gone. So I beseech you in secrecy, take my heart but please don't break it.that old devil called love
∞ 11:27 PM∞
True to the title, this is what I'm feeling right now. I don't know if, like all the other times, I'm just in love with the notion of being in love, or if it's you that I'm crazy about. Oh it's tiring going through the motions. I'm done kissing frogs. Where's my prince? Romeo I hope it's finally you in disguise.
But alas. The bistro is firing. Best summer job evarrr. (I hope you and I don't screw this up for me, thanks) But anyway. Made some awesum flenz and I'm as happy as a clam :D don't wanna go back to school. Speaking of which, results got released today. And hahahahaha. Is all I'm going to say, really. I'm truly worried for myself. I've tried, why can't I get things right? I'm really scared. Well what the heck.
Meep. Beep. Random noises indicate signs of fatigue, so bye, I will update you soon and much more often these few weeks I foresee! True feelings here xxyou don't know me at all
∞Mar 19, 2010 2:22 AM∞
But alas. The bistro is firing. Best summer job evarrr. (I hope you and I don't screw this up for me, thanks) But anyway. Made some awesum flenz and I'm as happy as a clam :D don't wanna go back to school. Speaking of which, results got released today. And hahahahaha. Is all I'm going to say, really. I'm truly worried for myself. I've tried, why can't I get things right? I'm really scared. Well what the heck.
Meep. Beep. Random noises indicate signs of fatigue, so bye, I will update you soon and much more often these few weeks I foresee! True feelings here xx
Good morning! It's 2:22am and I'm up doing my fourth draft of The Essay. Haha. It's only 1/3 complete but better than nothing? I'm happy though. Cos of two things!
1. HOLLYHOQUE UPDATED and I ordered :D :D whee clothes
2. My dad is the sweetest guy on earth! He did research for me about the essay. And he even wrote an intro para for me. He read both my articles, and even sourced extra material! Don't think fathers like him exist on earth, only in heaven <3
And something that could potentially make me happy:
3. Macs breakfast tomorrow? If I can wake up hahahaha. Which probably won't happen, if you know me :D Geez 9am!! But yes. I love my NUS friends. Having breakie with them is such a delight.
Okay deadline for the paper is tomorrow (midnight!) and most of the mno video-ing is over. When next week rolls by I think I will be happier by about ...80%? HAAH then it'll decrease again, cos there's the LAST usp paper to pull through, among other biz nonsense (finals, etc.) Oh and ACC TEST WAS A DISASTER. Killjoy. =X
Awlrite, going to continue with writing my essay after this brief rant. I can never write my essay conitunously! Write->FB->Write->Shop->Write->Blog. ...->WRITE. :(
1. HOLLYHOQUE UPDATED and I ordered :D :D whee clothes
2. My dad is the sweetest guy on earth! He did research for me about the essay. And he even wrote an intro para for me. He read both my articles, and even sourced extra material! Don't think fathers like him exist on earth, only in heaven <3
And something that could potentially make me happy:
3. Macs breakfast tomorrow? If I can wake up hahahaha. Which probably won't happen, if you know me :D Geez 9am!! But yes. I love my NUS friends. Having breakie with them is such a delight.
Okay deadline for the paper is tomorrow (midnight!) and most of the mno video-ing is over. When next week rolls by I think I will be happier by about ...80%? HAAH then it'll decrease again, cos there's the LAST usp paper to pull through, among other biz nonsense (finals, etc.) Oh and ACC TEST WAS A DISASTER. Killjoy. =X
Awlrite, going to continue with writing my essay after this brief rant. I can never write my essay conitunously! Write->FB->Write->Shop->Write->Blog. ...->WRITE. :(
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