No creatures here!

Every night when Ellie says her prayers, she has a certain set of "please bless"es that she includes. Usually it goes like this:

"Please bless that the fire alarm won't go off.
Please bless that there won't be any monsters or ghosts or beetles or snakes or creatures.
Please bless that my boo-boos will get better.
Please bless that Grandpa U. won't have any cavities in his teeth.
Please bless that Grandma H. won't have any strange problems with her computer."

I think the last two are probably Ellie's way of showing love to her various sets of grandparents. But why the teeth, why the computer? Beats me. All I know is that Grandpa U.'s teeth are probably the most prayed-for teeth in the country, and Grandma H.'s computer may have a special spiritual firewall!

Nursing Things

Here's another Ellie photo, from her ballet class performance. What you might not notice from this picture, is that Ellie has stuffed two scarves from the dance down the front of her leotard. She does this at home sometimes and walks around talking about her "big nursing things!" In fact, the other day, she looked at a Cinderella figurine and asked, "Mommy, why are her nursing things so big? She has bigger nursing things than you!"

Stupid Disney.

Ellie Belle

Here's a belated photo of the beautiful Belle in all her Halloween glory. Ellie and her friend Michelle from Tucson traded costumes this year. Yes, this dress is homemade. (Katy, you are simply awesome!)

Independent children and the impending election

Last week we were all in the car, and Maile and I were having a conversation about the upcoming election.

"What's an election?" Ellie asked.

"An election is when we get to decide who will be our leader, who will be in charge." I answered.

After a moment of thought, Ellie declared, "I want Sarah Palin to be our leader."

"Why do you want Sarah Palin to be our leader, Ellie?" asked Maile, very amused.

"She looks and talks like Daddy's mother."

She had first pointed this out as we watched Palin's speech at the Republican convention online at the kitchen table together. It's quite true: had my mother stayed in Alaska instead of leaving when I was a one-year-old she might have been governor by now. :-)

Ellie's opinion on the matter was quite funny to hear, because it stands in stark contrast to our own. We both voted for John McCain in the 2000 primary and would have been thrilled to have had him as our president these last eight years instead of Bush. However, in this electoral cycle we are proud supporters of Obama:

Maile, a hard-working community organizer here in the Village, was less than impressed by Palin's remark during her convention speech about community organizers not having any responsibilities, hence the bumper sticker at top. I've been less than impressed with pretty much everything Palin has said thus far.

Our Halloween treat was the arrival of the latest issue of The Economist, which--to our happy surprise--endorsed Obama (they have long been big fans of McCain). Maile was so excited she made a copy of the cover and taped it in the window for all the trick-or-treaters to see.

It's good for children to grow up and have an opportunity to form their own opinions. We're pleased that our parents don't give us a hard time about not being registered in either party and frequently (but by no means always) voting for Democrats. We have fully intended to follow that example and allow Ellie that same respect and space.

We just didn't expect that she would forge her own independent political path quite so early. :-)

Halloween 2008

Since Halloween fell on a Friday night this year, our ward had our Halloween activity the previous Friday, the 24th. Many kids, parents, and couples were dressed up. Most families had unified themes: all ghosts, or all Harry Potter related, or all pirates, or--a Berkeley Ward favorite--all hippies.

We, in contrast, could not settle on a single family theme. Nope, we had three. Above you can see Ellie dressed as a lovely Belle, of "Beauty and the Beast" fame. Maile appears as a farmer, carrying Benjamin the sack of potatoes. I was Vendetta from Making Fiends.


Maile correctly points out that my Halloween costumes of late have been more obscure with each passing year. A few people did manage to figure out who I was--including the bishop--primarily due to my efforts to popularize the show. If you haven't yet seen it, by all means visit www.makingfiends.com and check it out.

We had a great time, and Ellie collected ample amounts of candy. :-)

Happy Halloween from Benja-Pumpkin!

On Tuesday Ellie's preschool class had a field trip to the pumpkin patch. Ellie got to ride on a pony, jump in a jumping castle, and feed the animals. (More photos to come!) Benjamin was pretty patient with the whole deal -- as long as his tummy is fed, he's a happy little guy. He was definitely my favorite pumpkin in the patch.

This is not okay

For friends and family members, my political leanings in this presidential election are not much of a secret. And so, as you can imagine, it is with concern that I have been reading about rowdy crowds at McCain and Palin speeches yelling that Obama is a terrorist and should be killed. I understand that running negative ads is a time-honored (and unfortunately, effective) campaign strategy. But things are getting out of control. I think this editorial by Frank Rich said it best (full text at http://www.nytimes.com/2008/10/12/opinion/12rich.htm):

IF you think way back to the start of this marathon campaign, back when it seemed preposterous that any black man could be a serious presidential contender, then you remember the biggest fear about Barack Obama: a crazy person might take a shot at him.

Some voters told reporters that they didn’t want Obama to run, let alone win, should his very presence unleash the demons who have stalked America from Lincoln to King. After consultation with Congress, Michael Chertoff, the homeland security secretary, gave Obama a Secret Service detail earlier than any presidential candidate in our history — in May 2007, some eight months before the first Democratic primaries.

“I’ve got the best protection in the world, so stop worrying,” Obama reassured his supporters. Eventually the country got conditioned to his appearing in large arenas without incident (though I confess that the first loud burst of fireworks at the end of his convention stadium speech gave me a start). In America, nothing does succeed like success. The fear receded.

Until now. At McCain-Palin rallies, the raucous and insistent cries of “Treason!” and “Terrorist!” and “Kill him!” and “Off with his head!” as well as the uninhibited slinging of racial epithets, are actually something new in a campaign that has seen almost every conceivable twist. They are alarms. Doing nothing is not an option.

...By the time McCain asks the crowd “Who is the real Barack Obama?” it’s no surprise that someone cries out “Terrorist!” The rhetorical conflation of Obama with terrorism is complete. It is stoked further by the repeated invocation of Obama’s middle name by surrogates introducing McCain and Palin at these rallies. This sleight of hand at once synchronizes with the poisonous Obama-is-a-Muslim e-mail blasts and shifts the brand of terrorism from Ayers’s Vietnam-era variety to the radical Islamic threats of today.

That’s a far cry from simply accusing Obama of being a guilty-by-association radical leftist. Obama is being branded as a potential killer and an accessory to past attempts at murder. “Barack Obama’s friend tried to kill my family” was how a McCain press release last week packaged the remembrance of a Weather Underground incident from 1970 — when Obama was 8.

We all know what punishment fits the crime of murder, or even potential murder, if the security of post-9/11 America is at stake. We all know how self-appointed “patriotic” martyrs always justify taking the law into their own hands.

...What’s troubling here is not only the candidates’ loose inflammatory talk but also their refusal to step in promptly and strongly when someone responds to it with bloodthirsty threats in a crowded arena. Joe Biden had it exactly right when he expressed concern last week that “a leading American politician who might be vice president of the United States would not just stop midsentence and turn and condemn that.” To stay silent is to pour gas on the fires.

Amen. We are not a backwards, corrupted, faltering third-world democracy. Political games are one thing; inciting to riot and violence is another. For the sake of our nation, I dearly hope this all comes to nothing.

Tagged

I don't normally do these sorts of things, but what the heck, why not. Holly, this one's for you:

* Eight Things I am Passionate About:
My family
Affordable student family housing
Politics
Gender equality
Music
Child literacy
Astronomy and science in general
Learning

*Eight Things, Words or Phrases I Say Way Too Often
"Wow, nice job!"
"Please don't jump on that."
"Eat more of your dinner first."
"Go wash your hands."
"Did you flush?"
"Pick up your toys before the Toy Monster eats them!"
"Whew, Benji-boy, you stink!"
"No, this is not the Neely residence--they moved out three years ago. Yeah, no problem, bye."

*Eight Things I Want to Do Before I Die:
See my children grow up and come into their own
Snuggle my grandchildren and maybe my great-grandchildren
Own a home
Publish a book
Have a thriving career
Change the world, or at least my community
Improve the odds for disadvantaged youth
Feel secure that all my family members are going to be fine

*Eight Things I Have Learned from my Past:
You can always find a way to make money if you really want to.
Motherhood = the ultimate multitasking job.
Playing first chair is more work than glory.
Someone has to play first chair.
Deadlines are good motivators.
Journalists don't understand statistics.
You only have five settlement markers in Catan.
In a crunch you can always eat Ramen straight from the bag.

*Eight Places I Would Love to See:
The southern hemisphere night sky
Lego Land
Boston
Colorado
New Zealand
Scandinavian fjords
The top of Half Dome after hiking it
Absolutely anywhere on January 20, 2009

*Eight Things I Currently Need or Want:
Sleep
Sleep
Sleep
New glasses
Sleep
A dishwasher
A maid
A cook

*Eight people I tag:
Barack Obama
Dick Cheney
Jon Stewart
Sarah Palin
Dr. Horrible
Bad Horse
Laura Roslin
Joe Six-Pack

Conversations with Benjamin

Following in the family tradition, Benjamin has lots to say. He shares his opinions about life, the presidential race, the financial crisis, and the ever-controversial Huggies vs. Pampers debate. Here he is talking about his day.

An Excellent Explanation of the Financial Crisis and the Bailout

As an aspiring economist, I have been asked of late to share any thoughts and insights I might have on the present financial crisis. The truth is, I don't know all that much about macroeconomics, and I know even less about financial economics. (My research interests are much more humble in scope.)

Before the afternoon session of General Conference today, Maile and I listened to This American Life on the radio. This week's episode, "Another Frightening Show About the Economy," is dedicated to the recent financial events, their causes, and their implications. To date, we have not read or heard a better, clearer explanation of the truly complicated and quickly changing situation in any newspaper, news program, online article, or magazine (including The Economist).

Download or stream the show at:

www.thislife.org/Radio_Episode.aspx?episode=365

Or download it at:

podcast.thisamericanlife.org/podcast/365.mp3 (27.8 MB)

What exactly is going on? Why do we have to worry about it? What is at stake? Whose fault is the crisis? What, if anything, could have been done to prevent it? Is the bailout good or bad? Now that Congress has passed the second version of the bill, what's next? The show gives engaging and understandable--yet worrisome--answers to all of these questions. If you're interested in learning more (and everyone should be), take an hour to listen to it.

Three years later, now four of us

We've been in the East Bay for three years now. We moved in August 1, 2005, and the photo on top was taken that day or in the next couple of days. The second photo shows that the front of the apartment is pretty much the same, but now Ellie is a whole lot bigger, and she has a baby brother, little Benjamin. Here we are together in what may be the only picture of all four of us together so far.

The new kid

Here he is! Our new son was born this morning at 12:21am, weighing 7 pounds, 9 ounces, and measuring 21 inches. He and Maile are both doing very well.

A lot of bowling

Due to the exorbitant holiday price at Albany Bowl today, I only bowled a single (inglorious) game. Still, it was noteworthy occasion. I've been keeping track of my bowling scores (and those of some of my bowling buddies) since August 2003--almost five years. 256 weeks to be precise. As veteran users of Excel (2003 or earlier) will now, each worksheet has up to 65,536 (2^16) rows and 256 (2^8) columns. With each week inserted in a new column, the oldest week has now finally hit the rightward wall: Column IV.

Where to go from here? I've known for quite some time that this day would come, but I haven't been looking forward to it. I now have to completely revamp my bowling spreadsheet, which in addition to storing the scoring data also graphs the games and averages and outputs the relevant statistics for my bowling website. The most likely solution is to store weeks vertically instead of horizontally. It will take a bit of work to reprogram the macros, but there will be an upside.

With 65,536 rows, I won't have to overhaul the new spreadsheet for another 1251 years. :-)

Potty Story

Today Ellie told me a story while she was sitting on the potty:

"Once there was a kitty who didn't have a daddy, so she was all alone and lonely when her mommy went to a meeting. But then, the babysitter showed up...and she was a bride who was just about to marry the prince, but then the prince was actually a bum, so they didn't get married after all. Instead she and the kitty danced at the ball, but then the clock struck twelve and she ran and ran until she got to her house and she was so, so sad because her stepsisters ripped up her pink dress. Then, when the clock stopped, her beautiful dress and the coach and the coachmen and the wheelchair and her glass slippers disappeared. The end."

No, that's not a paraphrase. That's EXACTLY what she said. I know, because I repeated it back to her and she corrected me on everything I got wrong...including the wheelchair, which was apparently integral to the plot line. What a bizarre and fascinating make-believe world my daughter lives in!

How preschoolers listen

On the way home from church today we asked Ellie what she learned in her Sunbeams class. She very excitedly and enthusiastically told us the following:

"We learned a story about the Lamanites who planted their seeds, but then the seagulls came and ate up all the bugs, and then they all prayed to God that He would say thank you to the seagulls and give them some food to eat!!"

Hmmm....

Dancing Queen

At the recent University Village Health & Wellness Fair, Ellie really got into the music. I love her interpretive dancing!

A different phone farewell

I was on the phone with my brother the other day and Ellie really, really wanted me to hang up and play with her. She kept repeating (loudly), "Say goodbye! Say goodbye! Say goodbye!" Finally, in exasperation, she said, "In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen!!"

Guess that means closure to her--the end of waiting for something to finish. We'll have to work on the patience skills...

The Great Las Vegas Adventure

For your reading enjoyment (and to help you procrastinate whatever it is you probably -should- be doing right now), here's a slightly delayed report of our trip to see family in Las Vegas for Easter:

The drive there was uneventful--I didn't throw up even once! We left at about 9am and arrived in the early evening. Ellie soaked through a pull-up, but it wasn't anything a bath and a load of laundry couldn't fix.

Dan and Aranne's house is beautiful, friendly, and wonderfully comfortable. We felt very at home there. It's changed a lot since we were last there (the decor, not the friendliness level!)...I guess 5+ years can do that. We've got to get out to visit more often!


Holly and Mike A. were also visiting, and it was great to see them. Ellie made the most of her time with Grandma by begging to sit on her lap for every meal and to play with her every non-eating second. I've got to say, it was nice to not be the only go-to adult around during the day!


Ellie loved Easter Morning. As the only kid there, she really raked in the goods.


Easter dinner was scrumptious, and the weather was nice enough that we were able to eat outside. Actually, the weather was nice the whole time we were there. It was warmer in Las Vegas than I expected, and I didn't pack enough short-sleeve shirts for Ellie and myself. Wasn't much of a problem, though, since Dan & Aranne had this thing called a washing machine...in their house! Imagine that! We didn't even have to use quarters! It was super cool! Sure beats student family laundry rooms.

Monday morning the two Mikes headed off to do some male bonding in Death Valley. Mike-the-Older-and-Wiser was feeling sick and coughing a lot, but he hung in there and went anyway. Mike-the-Younger-and-Better-Looking (as he calls himself in response to his father's self-decided nickname) was enthused and ready to conquer some sand dunes or whatever it is you do in Death Valley. He'll have to post about that later. Maybe he can also write about how our trunk latch mysterious broke while they were driving 50 on a bumpy dirt road....

In any case, back to Las Vegas. My goal was to be able to say I'd taken my preschool daughter to a casino in Las Vegas for Spring Break, and happily that goal was accomplished when we went to go see a laser and water show at Sam's Town. Ellie loved every minute of it and still talks about it. I had to pick her up and carry her on the way out--those slot machines looked really shiny and fun, apparently. She asked what the people were doing with them, but I managed to distract her with a well-timed treat. I wasn't really sure I wanted her explaining "gambling" and "slots" to her preschool friends the Monday after Spring Break.


Other fun goings-on included feeding the fish at the marina, swimming/relaxing in the hot tub (the water was warm, but not hot, so Ellie could get it), visiting a spiffy new water conservation themed museum (that sounds SO much less cool than it really was!), starting Twilight (never begin reading a book your friends recommend at 10pm, no matter how low your expectations might be), and just talking and relaxing.

Mike and I reluctantly (and belatedly) packed up luggage and daughter on Wednesday, leaving around 3pm. The drive seemed longer on the way back...maybe it had something to do with getting home at 1:30am.

Anyway, it was a great trip, and one that we'll have to make again sometime.

No Dissertation

"No Dissertation" is (as you will quickly hear) a parody of the Rolling Stones song "Satisfaction".

Ironically, Pam, the female vocalist, starting writing the song about the same time last year that I completed "The Unfinished Thesis", which is very similar in message and feeling.

Stronger

"Stronger" is a parody of Kayne West's song, um, "Stronger".

My friend and classmate Vinci is the genius who edited the video (and "No Dissertation") and painstakingly added the special effects. As you will see, the finale is simply inspired.

Berkeley econ skit party, 2008

The eagerly anticipated Berkeley econ skit party took place last night (April 6th) in the Lipman Room at the top of Barrows Hall. Highlights included Prasad's hilarious impersonations of the faculty, a raucous new auction segment with heated bidding wars for various goods and services, and two new music videos from The Metrics Gang that I helped out with (the above posts link to them).

I also very much enjoyed being sneakily tricked into participating in the second-year skit of Faculty Quote Jeopardy by Juan Carlos and Charlie. It was a very funny skit, but it was also an especially funny inside joke that my friends had plotted all along to include me, not tell me as much, and then ask just as they were setting things up that they needed a third year to help them out with the skit. Oh, it was also fun to win (though in fairness, the game was rigged in my favor).

The finest moment of the proceedings was when George Akerlof--one of the winners of the 2001 Nobel Prize in economics--won the teaching award voted by graduate students and said in his humble, sincere George way as he accepted that it was the best award he had ever received. How classy is that? :-)

Eclipse - Book 3

Yup, the time-stamp on this post is correct. At least I'm done now and can get on with life. In addition to being pure (deeply addicting) fluff, I found the series to be an increasingly interesting, and increasingly disturbing commentary about young women's ideas of romance.

Is it really the dream of teenage girls to be, like Bella, so consumed by love as to want to sacrifice every personal aspect of themselves to their boyfriend? Edward is a vampire in more than one sense--he has consumed Bella's individuality and independent personhood. I say that's just another aspect of her humanity (which, literally, is next on the list of personal traits she plans to give up). As Renee observed, Bella has become Edward's satellite.

So what's the deal here? Do women really fantasize about losing themselves entirely in a dominant, perfect man? What could be more self-destructive in the most basic senses of the term than that? I don't find this romantic--I find it disturbing. Emotionally, I enjoyed these books. Intellectually, I am, you could say, frustrated.

New Moon - Book 2

I need more sleep.

Twilight - Book 1

Bella is annoyingly helpless. Edward is absurdly perfect. And still their story is deeply addicting and ridiculously compelling. Why? What's the deal here?

A Mid-Tuesday Night's Stargazing

Our time in the Bay Area has been especially hard on one of our hobbies: stargazing. In fact, possibly the worst place for looking up at the sky and seeing anything is exactly where we live. Our binoculars and cute little Dobsonian telescope are rendered next to useless by the bright lights of the city and the liberal use of streetlights in our neighborhood. (Though happily we were able to spot the exploding comet a few months back using the binos around the block.)

For months we've been thinking about going camping to escape our light polluted home and the surrounding metropolitan area, and we finally did so this last week. Our buddies Ed and Nicole wanted to try doing a Messier marathon, and March is the month for that, so we put a plan together to go to Lake Sonoma on Friday, March 7th.

Unfortunately (actually, fortunately), the weather forecast for Friday evening was mostly cloudy, so we very spontaneously moved the plan forward to Tuesday, March 4th. It worked out fantastically. I had to skip a class and a couple of seminars, but we had the entire campground to ourselves. The hills were beautiful and green, the sky was gorgeous and had very few clouds, and there was no pesky Moon. It was perfect.

As you can see above, Ellie helped set up the tent. Oddly, we've had it for over a year and this was the first time we'd used it. It's huge. We could have fit Ed and Nicole's smaller tent inside and still have had enough room to fit the three of us around it. (We decided against that option, though.)

The stargazing worked out really well. We spent too much time vainly trying to spot M76 and M74 (not trying for those again in the future!), but we were able to see surprisingly dim things (down to 10th magnitude in one case) with our 4 1/2" scope. The green laser pointer came in very handy. In addition to Messier objects, we saw satellites, meteors, Mars, and Saturn. Tragically, I succumbed to exhaustion around midnight, and Maile followed a couple hours later. Ed and Nicole were stalwarts, though: they stayed up until 5:30am and managed to see about 75 of the 110 Messier objects!

This was an extremely wonderful plan, and I am already very excited about doing it again next year. Next time I'll sleep more than three and a half hours the night before, and / or I'll come prepared with caffeinated beverages of some kind. :-)

Picasso

This video was my contribution to the ward variety show. As you can see, Ellie got a bit more screen time than the others. Editorial privilege, I say (and, I suppose, the fact that I just had more footage of her).

Zion's quirky in the East Bay

My latest parody, "A Berkeley Ward Anthem," (a takeoff on "Battle Hymn of the Republic") had its debut at the ward variety show tonight. The performance was--As Bill and Ted would say--most triumphant (or perhaps: non non non heinous). Everyone seemed to like it, and we had a great time singing it a second time through as one big group.

So now that the song has been performed, the secret is out. I've been wanting to share it with the world for nine days now. Without further ado, here it is. Enjoy!

[For those interested in a hard copy, download the pdf version. The gif version above looks great on computer screens but is really grainy when printed.]

Diem bisextilis anni carpimus

As with all years divisible by 4 in our lifetimes (even 2000), 2008 gave us an extra day. We took that 366th day and totally seized it. Seized it to death.

(5:25am) The day (as most weekdays sadly do) started dark and early. At early morning seminary (6:15am)--after some cajoling and coaxing, mind you--I was able to get a few of the students to memorize a few mastery scriptures.

(8:00am) We hosted our friends' three kids while she went to a dentist appointment and he went to campus.

(8:35am) Walking and busing while carrying my bowling bag (complete with 16-pound bowling ball), I trekked off to nearby Albany Bowl for my weekly ritual. The rolling of balls started off not so stellar, but the last game was a frame away from 200 (I blew it by dropping the seventh frame). I was happy with the results.

(9:30am) While I was off bowling, the kids were handed over to their mom along with Ellie while Maile went to a prenatal appointment.

(10:50am) She arrived back at home just in time for her six-hour shift at the computer center, and after walking back from the alley I picked up Ellie and fed her lunch quickly so that we could pick up Max (11:45am) and take them both by bus (and a four-block walk) to preschool. Then I finally headed to campus myself (12:40pm).

After attending a few meetings I began the very tedious and soporific online human subjects training (www.citiprogram.org ... ugh), then I was finally able to chat with my advisor (5:20pm).

(5:30pm) Maile finally leaves work (where Ellie has been dropped off), gets herself and Ellie some dinner at McDonald's, and heads over to the church (6:00pm) to practice not one but two numbers for the variety show. I arrive at the church from campus mostly by foot (6:10pm).

(7:10pm) The variety show starts, and is very entertaining. Maile's violin numbers were--as always--beautiful, and though plagued by an early technical glitch, her Picasso video was also quite lovely, especially the subtitle: "How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Mess". The long anticipated performance of "A Berkeley Ward Anthem" (with some of the actual singers of the ward helping out) seemed to be a crowd pleaser, and after singing it a capella for four verses we ended up sharp (which is good, I now understand).

(9:15pm) The variety show comes to a close, for which Ellie is very, very ready. We finally arrive at home (9:45pm) and get the tired and cranky cookie off to bed.

It was a good leap day, but I'm willing to wait a while before the next one rolls around.

Violinist in Training

Ellie has been asking for a violin for months. Whenever I'd practice she would ask if she could have a violin that was her size. So, I rented one. It's this teensy tiny thing, the same size I started with when I was only a little older than she is. So far she has been enthusiastic during our little 5-minute lessons, though she has said she is a bit frustrated that she can't automatically make it sound good. ("It sounds scratchy!" ... and yeah, it's pretty scratchy indeed.)

Anyway, for your listening discomfort, here is Ellie's very, very first time holding and playing a violin on the same day that we rented it.

Mike's New Puppy

Meet Mike's new pet - a LEGO Motorized AT-AT thingy. After wanting it for a long, long time, he finally received it over the holidays. It took him 5 1/2 hours to build, and he seemed very satisfied with the results. Ellie liked it because it moved -- she's a big fan of robots (like her mother) (who is a fan, not a robot). And, as far as puppies go, I'm just glad it doesn't require feeding, cleaning up after, or taking on walks.

A nation and a blog are born

February 17, 2008. As expected, Kosovo today declared independence and became the newest sort-of recognized sovereign state. Perhaps less historically, Maile and I finally managed to start a blog. Um, this one.

The coincidence is apt, in that the creation of this blog involved a bit of patient diplomacy. We've actually been seriously meaning to start a blog for weeks. We've had the time, we knew how to do it, and we've had plenty of material for several topical posts. We did not, however, have a name.

More accurately, we didn't yet have a mutually agreeable name. But the weeks of uncertainty and the hours of pondering have paid off, I believe. Without further ado, I present for your reading pleasure (or, more likely, your reading amusement): Bounded Eccentricity.

We're weird, but not that weird.