LifeForce

Jake and I have successfully made it 4 full weeks on our cleanse, during the holidays nonetheless. Only 12 more weeks to go! Yeast is just flying out of our bodies.... well kinda. Are we crazy? Not yet. Jake has become an expert chef and we've made some pretty delicious meals-- chicken caesar salad, spaghetti, chips and salsa, banana bread.... we're still pretty normal people. Well, as normal as we started, anyway.

100,000

Our mighty Geo Metro hit the big 100,000 today. We knew it was coming so we drove around for 16.5 useless miles in order to witness the great event together. I took a video but it was kinda something you could only fully appreciate if you were there in person-- so I'm not posting it.

GO GEO!

It's the Most Wonderful Time....

Jake and I took our second annual trip to Fish Lake National Forrest to find our Christmas tree. We had a good time. I'm not going to mention that our car couldn't make it over the first hill and so we got out and walked for almost 2 hours, up a mountain, in six inches of snow, and awkward snowboarding boots. We don't need to talk about that.



Well Jake spotted the "perfect" tree across a river that was hanging off the side of a cliff. I said "no way Jose." So he found the other "perfect" tree that was still on the other side of the river and insisted on being a manly man and getting it. I wasn't in the mood to try walking across two slippery logs and fall into an icy river so I said I'd watch and take pictures from the other side.




I even took a video of Jake crossing the river with a tree balanced on his back -- hoping to get a video worthy of winning $100,000 on America's Funniest Videos -- sorry to disappoint. However, I'm glad Jake didn't get hurt. I'm proud to have such a burly, brawny husband!



After the tree had traveled a couple hours on top of our car in the FREEZING weather, it just wasn't very happy and half of it's needles fell off. The bald tree stood in the corner of our house for a few days while we decided whether or not it could be saved. Now I don't necessarily NEED a tree, but I do need some kind of decoration around the house to remind me what month we're in.



After some manicuring and grafting, I'm very happy with the final product!

Dear Mr. Jesus

So Jake and I were driving around the other night at about 2 a.m. because that's just what we do. We were listening to 100.3 FM because they've been playing nothing but Christmas music since December 1st with no commercials and I love it! Well this song came on the radio which MUST have been a joke by the disc jockey because it made us laugh sooo hard! Or maybe the DJ was a super religious reborn christian rocker. You can find some inspirational comments written about this song on the internet. Anyway, I dare you to listen to the whole thing.

You think this is good? Go ahead and google image a picture of Ray Boltz, the composer. Or better yet, wikipedia his life.... married for 30 years and then decided he was gay. Gotta love it.

Homemade Beef Jerky

Kombucha update

So I've been making kombucha for quite some time now and well, sometimes I kind of forget that it's been sitting there, on the shelf, in the same spot, for months and months. And months. This batch is so dark that I'm too scared to drink it. It doesn't smell like it's gone bad, but I'm pretty sure it has.

The Trombone

Right now we're living in a 2 bedroom house. One room we sleep in and the other.... all of Jake's instruments sleep in.  Somehow we've ended up with about 20 instruments and the last one that showed up was a trombone.  I tried playing it the other day for a couple minutes and it hurt my lips more than I thought it would.  On the upside, it acted as a natural botox.  My lips were swollen for the next half hour!  I kind of felt like I had just left the dentists office but my lips were more luscious than they've ever been.  The picture doesn't do it justice-- and I didn't mean for it to end up looking like the cover of a Queen album.

How the Bouchers do Turkey

Thanksgiving turned out to be the expected lovely family fiasco fun.... and Black Friday, well that's a whole different story. I'm NEVER doing that again and I DON'T want to talk about it. It was disheartening to say the least. So I've decided to make Thanksgiving last for 2 days. Yes, I will eat leftovers today and remember all the things I'm thankful for and forget about the lady in Target who smelled like malt liquor and tried to trade her baby for a transformer while pushing over an elderly lady with a walker and told a disabled person to stick it where the sun don't shine, laughing like the wicked witch and recording her own evilness with her camera phone the entire time.  It's called BLACK friday for a reason.  It's not yellow, it's black, because people die out there!  But today I'm only thinking of....



FOOD




NAPS




MUSIC




BABIES


FAMILY










FRIENDS







MARRIAGE

"The Economy"

Lately everyone and their dog, no matter how smart or idiotic they may be, seem to use this phrase whenever they need a scapegoat: The Economy 

Sometimes it's true.  Sometimes.

Higher taxes? It's because of our economy. Climbing interest rates? The economy. Gasoline prices? The economy. Wage theft? It's our economic situation. Rising unemployment? Our failing economy. Identity theft and internet schemes? Our economy. Global warming? Yep, our economy. Why can't I get a loan? It's this economy. Why do I spend more than I make? The economy. Why do I keep gaining weight? The economy. 

How long is this recession going to last?  It's almost been ten years since it started so when people say we're coming out of it, I don't believe them.  A couple points up on the DOW today is a couple points down tomorrow.  Nobody really, REALLY knows when and what is going to happen, but I think we need some new excuses.

On an upwards note, our vocabulary is expanding and new words have been created since "the economy" problem started.  I learned a new one yesterday that made me laugh....

FUNEMPLOYMENT!

   And yes, that is how I'm surviving these days.  

   Am I ashamed, you may ask?  

   No.  

   Why?  

   The Economy.

San Francisco

So recently I was quit from my job. Yes, I was quit. Long story short: I never want to work for that employer again but I left on good terms with a good reference. I'm not in any hurry to get back to work, so I'm enjoying my time "making house." I just had to say "making house" because Jake used that term the other day in conversation and it made me laugh-- don't know why. Maybe because I'm anything but a homemaker so I don't understand what making house completely entails. ANYWAY, after finally getting some (what I feel was well deserved) time off from my full time job, Jake and I were able to take a little vacation. PLUS, the temperature in Utah had dropped 20 degrees overnight and was supposed to stay that way all week, so it was the perfect time to get out of Orem!

Earlier this year we had been given an invitation from Jake's cousin Cindy to come to San Francisco anytime. Well, I don't know if people are always serious when they say "yeah, you're welcome at our house all the time, anytime!" But Jake and I usually take people up on the offer. So friends of Jake and Cody: don't offer unless you're willing. So we had a lot of fun with Brent & Cindy and their 8 cats. You probably read that and said "WHAT?! Eight cats?!" But let me tell you, these were the coolest cats I've ever encountered. They were friendly and well behaved and pretty much just like a bunch of little people. It was nice to have a little furry thing curl up to you whenever you wanted.

We were also able to visit some old friends from Hawaii, Mike & Bille. They live in downtown SF right in the middle of all the madness and that was a lot of fun! They were our tour guides and took us to see all of the most important sites....
Whatever happened to predictability? The milkman, the paperboy, or evening TV? Yes, these are the famous Painted Ladies shown at the beginning of the still airing and always on some high numbered channel Full House.








Half way through Nevada the car started acting funny. JUST what we look forward to on long car trips. Jake has already fixed multiple things on our car-- he's become somewhat of a mechanic that way. AND big stuff too. New brakes twice, a new starter twice, an AC compressor, a fuel filter, spark plugs, and the list goes on.

When the first signs of trouble began on our trip, we blamed it on a tank of bad gas. We had just stopped in a rinky dink town and filled up at a station called Ron's Gas-- or something like that. Every time we stopped Jake would look under the hood, hoping that the problem would manifest itself plainly. It didn't, and we ended up stopping at 3 different Kragen Auto parts stores during our trip.

Replacing one gadget after another, Jake was slowly rebuilding a beautiful new engine but our car problems persisted. This was beyond us. We had enjoyed our time in San Fran but the car problem had kept this heavy feeling hanging over us the entire time. The car would get up to about 50 mph and then the power from the gas pedal to the car would cut out. The car wouldn't turn off but we'd slow down to 35-40 mph and then the power would kick back in and the car would backfire. LOUDLY. It seriously sounded like a gun shot and it would happen every 5 minutes or so. But it was HILARIOUS because our car would lose power while driving in a 65 mph zone, forcing us to slow down to 40 mph and then an angry California driver would ride up right on our bumper. Then our car would backfire SO LOUD! I've never heard a car backfire this strongly before. I'd watch in the rear view mirror as the car behind us quickly backed off from our bumper. It made for a lot of good laughs amongst the frustration.

Jake called our mechanic in Utah and asked what he thought. It sounded like we might be able to drive all the way back to Utah if we kept our speed under 50 mph. Great. That makes for a 18 hour drive. BUT, then at least we'd be able to take it to our trusty hometown mechanic.

Well, we made it as far as Lake Tahoe and the car stopped. Something big needed to be fixed, now including the muffler. The power of the backfires were so great that it eventually blew the side of our muffler wide open! So a mile and a half away from Tahoe we called for a tow truck. He took us to a place where a guy with red curly hair named Tony was hopefully going to find and fix the problem. Jake started explaining what symptoms the car had been having and what he had already fixed on the car and Tony replied with, "It works better if I let the car talk to me." Right away I was bothered but what could we do? We were the out of towners in this situation. Ugh.

One tow truck, one crankshaft sensor, one cam sensor, one O2 Sensor, one Motel 6, and two paychecks later and we were back on the road! A very loud road, because we waited to have the muffler fixed in Utah.

But we made it home safely! And we already miss the cool, salty breezes and our California friends!





Oh ya, and on the way back we decided to take Highway 50 instead of Interstate 80 because, well, we had never taken it before and wanted to see what it was like. It was really nice and I would recommend that drive to anyone that has to go across the forsaken state of northern Nevada. We probably passed 7 or 8 semi trucks along the entire drive. But the coolest part was this tree that we saw on the side of the road in the middle of nowhere. There were thousands of pairs of all shapes and sizes of shoes hanging from this tree! Someone had scratched into the ravine behind the tree the words "The Shoe Tree." It was awesome to see! I've never seen that many shoes at one time, and hanging by a tree for that matter! Taking Hwy 50 was worth it just for this!

State Fair Winners

We were impressed.

Craig Ferguson

His show airs in the wee hours of the night.  

I think only one of those lame Carson Daly shows is on later than him.

Plus, he's on the same time as Jimmy Fallon-- which isn't a threat other than the fact that Jimmy's on the same channel right after Conan O'brien, so Craig's ratings can't possibly be that high.

He's Scottish.  I don't know what that has to do with anything but I thought I'd mention it.

He's insane.

This picture is just the beginning of the type of nonsense you see on his show.

And... I really like him.  I think he deserves a little more credit.

But seriously people, he's a weirdo.

More deep thoughts....

A while ago I was at the store.  Working.  I overheard a child talking to his mother and he asked this question....

 "Mom, if we live in a free country, how come everything costs money?"

At first I laughed to myself.  And then I thought about it.  For at least 5 minutes.

In-N-Out

They've caved.  I guess we're looking at six new In-N-Out Burgers coming to Utah within the next couple of years.  The one on University Parkway is under construction, and is also within bicycling distance from our house...

The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus

If Jake blogged, he would probably post something about this. So here you go. Two cheers for Mr. Tom Waits.

Me & My math skills

After my sis-in-law sent out an invitation to run the Wasatch Woman 5k with her, I decided to get off the couch and start training.  It's been a while since I've exercised, so it has taken some real mental preparation and motivation to get me started but I've really been trying.  Last week I hit the 2.75 mile mark! So today I was supposed to run 3 full miles.  

Yesterday I was driving around and decided to clock the distance between our house and Harmon's Grocery store.  For some reason I read the mileage counter as 1.6 miles.  This meant that it was the  perfect 5k distance (3.2 miles) from my house to Harmon's and back-- an easy mile marker to remember.  

I've been running everyday on a track so today I stepped out of my comfort zone and ran the Boucher-Harmon trail.  Well jogged anyway.  I've been timing myself and I'm around an 11 minute mile.  Today when I ran I timed myself and it took me 54 minutes!!!!  How could this be?  I didn't feel like I was dragging my feet, so I just figured I must be slower in the wild than when I'm on a track.

After a few hours passed I decided I didn't like that conclusion.  54 minutes? That just seemed way too long.  So I got back in the car and clocked the miles again.  I don't know how I came up with 1.6 miles the first time around.... it's been a while since I've taken a math class.  Anyhow, this time the car meter read 2.5 miles!  WHAT?  I ran 5 miles today and didn't even know it!  

I guess this means I'm ready for the 5k!

Lindsay Lohan and Labor Pains

Jake and I mistakably rented this movie from a red box. Everything else they offered was rated R so we went with this, this, this -- I don't even know what genre you would call it -- but it was TERRIBLE.  T to the E to the double R terrible! 

I admit.... I am a Mean Girls fan.  It was so dumb that it was funny.  But this Labor Pains.... you couldn't even give me a free coconut creme pie to watch it again.  

And I love pie.

Concrete countertops for gun/s

I found this under "barter" on Craigslist.  There were pictures provided of both the countertops and guns as well.  SCARY!

I do concrete countertops and would like to trade some work for guns, particularly AR-15, glock 9mm, or Beretta .40 or all 3. I can provide pictures of work I have recently completed upon request. Thanks. Could be interested in 3wheelers as well.

David Hasselhoff

I was flipping through tv channels tonight and stopped on America's Got Talent for about 2.2 seconds-- Just enough time to witness Hasselhoff with the top of his shirt so conveniently unbuttoned and a glittery silver dog tag hanging around his neck. Fancy.

Demolition Derby

Two Saturdays ago Jake took me to my first demolition derby. It was AWESOME! So awesome that I begged him to take me to another derby this last Saturday. We drove out to Tooele for the first one.... I wouldn't recommend that drive if you're looking for a scenic gem. Then this Saturday we went up to the Salt Lake Farmers Market and then on to Ogden for the second derby. Let me tell you, Ogden knows how to demolish like nobody's business! At the fair we were also able to meet some of the Ogden county 4-H winners. Just watch out where you step!


These little kids were riding the mechanical bull and doing really well. And the kid with the mohawk... well that was worth a picture.














































This pig had white eyelashes and I just had to take a picture-- no hidden reference to Jake's white eyebrows.










I love my bearded manly man.
I could honestly not believe that some of these cars lasted as long as they did. They would get so beat up, lose a tire, lose their radiator and only be able to drive 5 miles an hour but they would keep charging until they were the last one left.