Today Im grateful for my legs. They may not be perfect but they carry me to where I want to go.

If theres no one beside you…when your soul embarks. I will follow you into the dark.

Today we played with friends, had a doctors appointment, and took long, well needed naps. Tomorrow our friends have tickets for the aquarium for us. This time it might be fun to take Carter.

Today we got Connor and Jaxson ready for school and when they were off to class Carter and I got in the car and went to Atlantic City. It was so quiet and beautiful to walk on the boardwalk without the crowds. It is windy today so the ocean was rolling and the waves were beautiful The sand was damp and soft on our feet. It was so peaceful I wish I could have stayed there forever. It is one of the few things I love about Jersey. We got lunch at chick fil a and came home to rest.

I have been totally absorbed in The Hunger Games books. I just finished reading the last one and my mind is still racing. Best books I have read in a long time. Now I have to see the movie.

Connor 2012

Garden of Eden

Jaxson's picture of the Garden of Eden. He drew Adam and Eve and the tree. If you look close in the tree you will see the snake hidden with all the apples. We have started learning bible stories in the morning.

mom and "Tarter Sauce"

Carter says him name now and when he says it, sounds like "Tarter" so his new nickname from me is Tarter Sauce"

spring is here

The weather has been in the 80s and we have been outside! We made cookies, decorated for Easter, went to Otts for lunch and had the BIGGEST meatballs ever, and did some Spring shopping.

Connor is playing on a small Spring hockey league. He plays three games a week and runs home to check his stats posted online. I asked him this week what he wants to be when he grows up and he still says, "A hockey player". He is growing up too fast. He is really responsible for his age and is a wonderful older brother. I was watching out the window this week and some boys were being mean to Jaxson and Connor started throwing punches. I love Connor for how responsible and mature he is but I hope he isn't missing out on his childhood years. I want my kids to be as young as they can and enjoy it. Connor is finally old enough that when we read scriptures in the morning I ask him to explain to me what the story is about and what is happening and he can discuss them with me and is really understanding what he is reading. He left for school this morning and about 10 minutes later I heard banging on the front door. Connor was at the door with his face bright red. He had forgot his lunch and ran home to get it. I felt so bad for him that he was so worried about his lunch that he ran all the way home. I remember being his age and getting to school and realizing I forgot my lunch. I could just see the same panic and upset on his face when I opened the door. Painful to remember emotions you felt as a child when you see it on your childs face.

Jaxson has the biggest heart. He is so affectionate and emotional. I have been in a disagreement for over a month now with his school teacher. She called me in for a parent meeting a month ago and expressed to me that she thinks Jaxson has ADHD. I am willing to listen and try to see all points of view from anyone that spends time with any of my children but I have AGONIZED over deciding to classify Jaxson at school as ADHD. I made a decision NOT to classify Jaxson and NOT to put him on medication as recommended by the school teacher. I made this decision after many hours of prayer, fasting, and talking to a handful of close friends who are professionals in both education and health care. I am humble enough to admit that yes, Jaxson doesn't seem to understand personal space and often times, he invades others, yes, Jaxson has a VERY hard time fitting in, yes, Jaxson is different but we L-O-V-E him for who he is and wouldn't change him with medication for anything in the world. So, we spend extra time every night helping him with his school work and I will be spending more time with him at school helping him. Being a parent is the HARDEST job in the world because it means being totally selfless and loving another being so much that it just hurts to see them not well. The hardest part is loving your children so much that you just can't understand how others can't love them the same way. I started 6 months ago reading scriptures with my kids every morning before they go to school and while they sit there with blank looks on their faces, I know one day they will remember our mornings and I hope they know I did it every morning out of pure love for them.

Carter has hit the terrible twos. This week was hard. He is pushing all the limits and is at that age when you tell him no, he looks at you and pushes it just a little bit. Just to see what he can get away with. He has a little friend on our street that he loves. He says her name first thing when he wakes up in the morning and tonight he told me, "Carter love Lee Lee". I have some extended time off from work so we have been getting out as much as we can. Carter loves going on walks and driving his powerwheels. This week we started singing the ABC song and I am amazed at how fast he picked it up. I have been trying to work on his colors with him but when I told him that the color was red, and not blue like he was saying, he threw the puzzle piece at me. (gotta love terrible twos that start before the kid is two) And remember a few months ago when I posted that I was so proud of him for telling me when he needed to go to the bathroom? That has ended and now he lies when I ask him if he needs to be changed. He always tells me no and gives me a disgusted look for even asking him that question. His hair is growing so fast now and this week with the heat he had curls from the humidity. I love his little kisses when I get him out of his crib in the morning and that he says, "I love you too" when I tell him I love him.

The dog got his Spring shave this week. He is still such a sweet dog and waits until someone falls asleep to lay next to them for a rest. Now if he would stop rolling in the grass, he would be the perfect dog.

We miss our family members and hope to see some of them this summer.

Easter Bunny

Someone met the Easter Bunny. He was a little weary of the bunny but he did sit on his lap but refused to smile. Now he likes looking at the picture and keeps asking if he can go back and see the "b bunny" He says, "bunny and Carter". I have been looking for the picture of Connor at 3 sitting on the Easter Bunny's lap with his fist clenched and ready to swing. Will post it if I can find it.

A long day of work ends with dinner at Olive Garden and The Vow. It feels good to remember being loved.

We had lunch at the park today and did our exercise walk. We didnt go as long as we would have liked to because Jaxson started complaining he was too hot. It is beautiful outside today. We are having BBQ for dinner and dirt and worms for dessert. I took so many beautiful pictures of the flowers and I will post them in just a bit plus some of the kids.

Neither be ye of doubtful mind. Your Father knoweth that ye have need of these things.

Luke 12

Carter is almost 2!

Today was another warm day. The older boys had early starts today so carter and I grabbed the jogging stroller and went to duffields farm to feed the animals. Carter loved the horses and fed most of his carrots to the cows. We stopped to take some ramdom photos of Carter and a beautiful statue of an angel at a church we passed. Total walk time was 2 hours. Carter fell asleep in the stroller on the way home and slept for an hour once we got in the house.

Today I took Carter and Jaxson to the park and we played. Since it was a nice day out I brought Jaxson's bike and Carters jogging stroller and we did the trail for 2 HOURS!!! My legs are so sore. I started a diet yesterday and I am serious about getting this extra weight off my body. I also decided to go back to blond after looking at the previous picture of me and Connor. (that was taken when I was 9 months pregnant with Carter). My next big make over will be the hair. I am going to snip it all off.

Connor is currently doing hockey, Jaxson starts baseball soon, and I found a toddler soccer class that I signed Carter up for today. It starts in 3 weeks and will be during the day when the older boys are at school and I can focus on him. Carter is so in love with balls and sports that I think he will love this class.

I started thinking about my hobbies and talents and I am going to look into pursuing a dream I have had my whole life. I am going to wait for just the right moment to unveil it to my family members. It is going to take me a long time but I have always wanted to do this.

This guy starts hockey again tonight and couldn't be more excited!!! This boy is crazy for hockey. It is a cold day today so we are going to head to a jumping place. Tomorrow it will be in the high 60's! And Thursday will be 70's. We love spring.

I just finished reading "The Vow". What an amazing story. I like in the end that they say that we are all in each others lives to fill in each others gaps. I know that the people that have have been in my life and still are, fill in my MANY gaps.

baby

Tonight I really miss having a baby. I just don't think having a new baby would ever get old to me. I love baby toes, baby breath, and the feeling of a new baby in my arms. I look at all my boys and I can still see their newborn face even though they are getting older. I will always wonder what it would have been like to have a daughter. I am not greedy and I am just thankful everyday for the three healthy boys that I have. I have made my fair share of mistakes in my life and I am grateful everyday for my three wonderful sons.

It was a busy day today spent with friends. Now we are lying in bed watching Cars. Carter thinks the cars are trains and calls them "choo choos". We made chocolate chip cookies today and ate about 10 each. The boys were very happy. We have a busy weekend of hockey, birthday parties, and friends.

Brothers

Carter is excited that Chuck E Cheese just came out to sing


He is not so sure about this car

He likes the horse! It is more his speed

A very brave moment. He ran up to the stage and touched Chucky really fast then turned around and ran back to mom.

Carter and his best friend Lee Lee

Getting out of the car to go into the CHEESE!

He likes b-ball

And football....

Connor and Jaxson at Hershey Factory!

The first day of March was a day of coughing, stuffy head, fever, and vomiting. It was a day spent watching movies. A different kind of day that just seemed to come and leave as fast as it could, and today I am ok with that. Now its late at night and all the world is sleeping and I lay awake and do what I do best. Worry over things I cant control. My mom ALWAYS told me, "shannon, dont worry about things you can't control and don't love people who don't love you back" And I bet she thought I wasn't listening all those years.